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 There are essentially two kinds of bad horror movies: ones that try to be good (like "Jugular Wine" and "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers") and ones that don't (e.g. "Jack Frost", "Invisible Maniac", and "Horror House on Highway 5"). "Santa Claws" falls in the latter category, as though the people responsible for this picture smirked and said, "We're obviously going to miss the mark anyway. So, who gives a rat's ass if it's going to miss by a millimeter or by a mile? Let's just go nuts." The supporting evidence for this theory abounds from the painfully cheezy rock versions of Christmas songs to the long, gratuitous interludes with amateur strippers. Adding to the evidence is some hilariously bad acting from its villain. Not only are his exaggerated facial expressions a cause for laughter, but he murders people with a garden trowel, spraypaints Santa Claus suits a sinister shade of black, and even drugs out a couple kids while babysitting (I must admit those antics had me smiling ear-to-ear)! Oddly enough before his climatic battle, the bad guy gives a speech which gets dubbed over, and the director apparently has made no attempt to hide it. The bottom line: "Santa Claws" is pretty bad, though a sense of humor or an affinity for stripping sequences might get you through this movie with your sanity intact. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots, the better it is. 12 dots indicates a masterpiece while no dots is roughly the equivalent of testicles being flattened with a sledgehammer.** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.