Drama Queens

Movie-of-the-week mavens: I have heretofore tackled the symptoms of a boring relationship. Now let's go to the other extreme. Ever know a couple who always seem to be fighting? This is the third level of hell: being in or around people who need drama to keep the fires going.

Once I remember hanging with acquaintances who were dating. We were waiting near an intersection. Suddenly, the girl slaps the guy for no reason; they start yelling in public and eventually are all over each other (PDA: a topic for another page). It's like watching an accident: riveting yet stomach-turning...

If you're in a relationship where you're either fighting or fucking, there will come a day when you will want to do neither - and then you will have nothing to do.

Another person I knew seemed to be a crisis junkie - he had an affinity for paramedics, terminal diseases, and bad relationships. Maybe because after the smoke clears, all that's left to deal with is himself, and there's always the risk that that's not enough to garner attention...

While monotony ain't the most fun, stirring up trouble where none exists is a recipe for disaster. Believe me, shit happens - you don't need a lightning rod to seek it. You'll get more than your fair share if you've got one full life to live...

Tip: If you come across a drama queen as a friend, be prepared for drop-ins at unforeseen hours because your life will always be less important or interesting than theirs. Arm with Kleenex and therapist referral.

If you find yourself in bed with one - two words: restraining order.