December 20, 1998

I don't know about this Christmas. It's exactly like fall, except with pretty sparkling lights. The spirit is fleeting, and comes only with effort. And then, when you just don't have the energy anymore, it becomes just another day. The only difference is that there's a big ol' Christmas tree in your front room shedding needles everywhere (the stupid vacuum cleaner is your new best friend, considering all the real ones are busy for the next few days- we'll get to my happiness later, though) and in a few days you'll get to open the presents your lovable parents left under it at 2 AM Friday morning. I'm happy it's here, though. This year is finally coming to a end, thank goodness, and school's out for at least two weeks. So despite my complete lack of holiday peppiness today, I still have to smile. It's a tired 'blah' smile, but the mouth is turned up nonetheless.

Just because I need to complain to someone other than my unsympathetic mother, I'm going to write this very small whining paragraph to sum up my winter break pains. My best gal pal is going to Boston for the whole two weeks, my other best bud is working his butt off this week, and there's a possibility he's sick ( I don't know, though, he's so unclear in his emails), I don't know what the heck the others are doing (my little brother is getting more phone calls than me lately). In short, the darlings are gone! In part, it's okay, though, because I like the space. It's crazy in school, where everyone wants to tell me something (sometimes the exact same something) at the same time, and I half-wish I really was the evil dingus half the student population thinks I am. So for the next few days I'm planning on sitting back, contemplating the year, and watching the Powerpuff girls (I feel a new obsession coming on here, dearie). Oops- this wasn't as short as I thought it was going to be.

Okay, next subject- Candy Cane day. The other I brought 72 candy canes to school and gave them out to all the wonderful people I call friends. I admit, I had a few left over, and some people that received one weren't exactly friends, but I felt good. I love handing a red and white stick of goodness and reciting my lines, "Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!" in the jolliest voice I can muster. It makes my inner child clap her hands and giggle uproariously (isn't that a great word?). I've been doing it for three years, and each time is even better than the last. This year I was dubbed 'sweet' by many people, and received surprised thank-you's from most. I was mean to one person, and the only really bad thing about that is the fact that I'm proud of it. I actually stopped illogically pretending I was mad at the world for one whole day. Next year I resolve to let my amiability shine through. The fact that I don't even think amiability is a word is just going to increase the challenge, ya know?

This is such a blah entry. I wish I could think up a topic to write about, something that I could delve into really deeply and passionately, and have you come away feeling enlightened and all that bull, but I can't. My heart's tired, and my mind is concentrating on the Industrial Revolution (I got a 73% on my AP Euro History test last week...... why couldn't everyone just listen to Malthus, die off, and make the text book thinner a whole heck of a lot thinner?). Here, I'll tell you something funny that I promised a friend I'd write about. We were at a restaurant, and for some reason he pulls my chair away from the table. I have my rootbeer with me, and take a rather large sip of it before telling him to put me back immediately. He tries to while still sitting down, but suddenly he can't move me an inch, and tells me I'm too heavy. After I flash him a rather penetrating stare, he tries to cover for himself. "It's because of the soda!" Absitively, posilutely adorable, don't you think? Of course, it doesn't make up for the fact that I still had to scoot myself back to the table.

And for the quote, a whole song from one of my favorite Christmas CDs this season. So, here's The Merriest, and on this album it's sung by June Christy.

"I'd like to fix this bag of tricks, and hand them out with a fleeting greeting.
Smiles for the frowners, Salutes to the uppers, Boosts for the downers,
May the day be the bowl of cherriest, and to all- the merriest!
Hope you swing, during the season. Hope the days go great.
Hope you find, plenty of reason the whole year long to celebrate!
Sun for the moapers, a Laugh for the cryers, Luck to the hopers,
To the strange and the ordinariest, me to you, the merriest!
Thoughts for the musers, a Cheer for the winners, Breaks for the losers,
To the beats and the debonairiest, greetings like the merriest!
Hope there's oil under your rose vine. Hope you get that raise.
Hope you hope everything goes fine, the next three hundred and some odd days!
Friends for the loners, a Song for the singers, Grins for the groaners,
Make the day nothing can compariest! Have the most, the merriest!
Have the most, the merriest!"

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a great New Year!! (belated Candy Cane Day greeting, 'specially for you)