Joys of Womanhood

~*~ Joys of Womanhood ~*~

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The Joys of
Womanhood

Author Unknown

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Women over 50 don't have babies because they
would put them down and forget where they left them.

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One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of
candy make a woman gain 5 lbs.

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My mind not only wanders ...
it sometimes leaves completely.

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The best way to forget all your troubles
is to wear tight shoes.

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The nice part about living in a small town is that
when you don't know what you're doing,
someone else does

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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight because by then, your body and your fat
are really good friends.

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Just when I was getting used to yesterday ....
along came today.

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Sometimes I think I understand everything ...
then I regain consciousness.

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I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs
kept rubbing together and setting
my pantyhose on fire.

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Amazing! You hang something in your closet
for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they
say things like, "You know, sometimes I just
forget to eat."
Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's
maiden name, and my keys. But I've never
forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind
of stupid to forget to eat.

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A friend of mine confused her valium with her
birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she
doesn't really care.

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The trouble with some women is that they get
all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

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I read this article that said the typical
symptoms of stress are: eating too much,
impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

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I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is
that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

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~ I received this from mom as well ~