"Fundamentalism"

In many ways it is a pity to need single out Scott for treatment, particularly as he appeared woefully ill-informed and somewhat naive at this point in his life. We noted on revisiting Scott's pages at his new ISP that he had recently married. We sincerely give them both our best wishes for their lives together and hope the "experience" has given Scott some insights into sharing a future with someone you both feel responsible to and feel responsible for.

Yet in many ways our best wishes for Scott and his wife are tinged with feelings of sadness - not that they are heterosexual and that we are homosexual, but that immediately on signing a simple piece of paper Scott can be have peace of mind that he will:

• never be denied hospital visiting rights should his wife become ill
• be able to file joint tax returns and take advantage of the many tax concessions available to legally married couples (paid for in part by gay couples) such as tax-free property transfer on the death of one partner and dependency allowances should one partner be out of work
• be able to make joint decisions, such as funeral arrangements, with his wife that will be upheld by the State without needing to draw up involved, expensive and challengeable legal documents
• know that any joint property interests - including superannuation and sickness benefits - are automatically protected
• have access to concessionary rates for everything from health insurance to club memberships
• have their relationship legally recognised as the primary one in their life, without interference from their families or from government

Maybe Scott will come to realise that whatever he and his new wife have with each other it need not come at the expense of people like ourselves. Or that recognising a relationship such as Grant and Dale's does not come at the expense of people such as Scott and his wife.

In all but our genders our two sets of relationships are the same. To their respective partners both Grant and Scott fill the same emotional and supportive needs. Asking to end the unequal treatment of gay relationships in law is not asking for "special rights" and nor is it part of some conspiratorial "gay agenda".

On returning to the issue of publishing Scott's views; Scott has chosen - via his own website and previously through his campus newspaper - to enter a debate and to publically express opinions that do cause physical hardships for people such as ourselves. He is not alone in his views, obviously, and nor, obviously, is he as offensive as some of the more infamous and rabid homophobes from the Radical Religious Right. Any responses to him should remember this and be both polite and well considered; if at all.

Scott, as an individual, is not "the enemy" and we have seen more remarkable conversions from such anti-gay positions as the one he held during this exchange. We do hope this occurs and will offer our personal support to Scott if he wishes to take up the opportunity. We hope others reading this will do likewise.

Ultimately both Grant and Dale do believe Scott has every right to take comfort from his own faith. We have seen the strength that faith can bring to some people's lives; particularly while they are dying and do not seek to deny this to them. Grant was at great pains throughout to ensure that he did not question either Scott's right to his choice of religious lifestyle or to expressing his views. What Grant did do was call upon Scott to question his behaviour when he does so, and to ask Scott to consider how his behaviour does cause harm to others - even if several times removed. Scott is entitled to his opinions and the question of him choosing to make public statements about them is another issue entirely.

Grant would be very interested in your views (whatever they may be) on this matter and on this piece in particular. As a matter of courtesy, please do not go over all this again with him! If you have something to add, or you'd simply like to say what you thought about the exchanges that would be great; but Grant is well and truly over this discussion per se (one of the reasons for putting this page up was so he wouldn't have to repeat the debate again and again with different people!).

We would be particularly interested in hearing from people who are involved (or were involved) in any of the Ex-Gay cults and warmly invite those of you to respond via the email address at the end of this page.

Our best wishes to you all.

Dale & Grant