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How we recommend travelling through Indonesiaand a few anecdotes while we're at it...
We recommend a good rucksack, good boots and a good sense of humour and adventure.
Let's get this out of the way now...
Westerners seem obsessed with this matter so...I know what the guide books say but neither of us had any upsets with the food. We ate off the street stalls several times every day (see photo of Dale tucking into a late night snack in Bogor at what Australians so delicately call a 'cholera cart') and common sense should tell you that food (you can see) cooked at high temperatures (where you can see it) shouldn't present many problems. Hotel kitchens on the other hand are hidden away from view, and you really have no idea how clean (or dirty) they really are.
In fact we got so frustrated, if you can call it that, at not having any upsets that we started to deliberately push our luck. Scungy little food stalls - no problem. Tap water - no problem. Then Grant went for the ultimate test - a cold, prepared seafood salad with Thousand Island dressing... Nothing. In the end we just gave up and ate whatever we felt like. Maybe we were lucky or had cast-iron constitutions but in several visits and lots of meals I'm beginning to suspect not.
In our 7 week 1995 trip we only had an encounter (I say "we" but only because he has threatened to kill me if I specify it was only one of us) ...in Singapore! Yep, "clean" Singapore. I won't tell you the restaraunt because I still believe it to be one of the best places for a traditional curry tiffin blow-out in the World - if I say "tin buckets and banana leaves" those of you in the know will know where I mean.
There is for a Westerner much about travelling in Indonesia that you may find frustrating and annoying. Everything takes for ever, no-one knows whats going on and even when they do they give the most bizarre responses (never EVER ask just one local for directions - ask three and go with the odds!). Haggling for every damn thing is very uncomfortable at first.
But things do work well, if only you take things in context both culturally and economically. What seems like a weird way to go about things at times is second nature before you know it - and then your fun really starts. The people are relaxed, tolerant and have a great sense of humour that Australian's quickly recognise as their own - cynical and teasing.
Dale and I had no difficulties travelling through both Bali and Java as a gay couple. Indonesia has a long history of cultural tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality even though it is being effected by modern notions of Islam from some of the fundamentalist forces at work in the country. Indonesians tended not to view it in quite the same way as we in Western nations did, as something separate or somehow in conflict with the society as a whole.
Indonesians as a rule tend also to be prudish about publically talking of anything sexual (especially in mixed company) and would often be uncomfortable if you did say you are gay. To them, such a matter is "obvious" and politely needs no comment. You only have to say you "are together" for them to treat you as a couple. This is unlike the West, where gay men and women are forced to be so public in order to counter the efforts against us - without us speaking out we would be ignored or treated as heterosexuals (or worse!). We actually found this different acceptance of sexuality and non-acceptance of anyone being sexually explicit quite a refreshing change from the West; where we as a society seem to expect sexually explicit language and behaviour but show intolerance to non-heterosexual sexuality. We are both Westerners in our outlook, and like that fact, but we can at least understand and work the different "rules".
So, in Indonesia you don't go around calling yourself "gay" but they generally happily accept that you do gay things as a couple - weird?
[The second question after "Where are you from" will be "Are you married". Now at this point you have a choice of two ways to say "no" - tidak (no, not ever) and belum (no, not yet). Work it out for yourself which answer is understood and which one gets the strange look.]
On another "weirdness" from a Western perspective - Indonesians frown on heterosexual couples publically holding hands or kissing. This is something decent men and women just do not do walking down the streets. However, it is quite acceptable for two women to walk holding hands - as it is in the West. More "startling" is that it is commonplace for two men to do this. We kind of like that twist around for once! If you pass a building site during a break you'll see labourers almost sitting in one another's laps give one another neck massages and restaurant staff will wait with their arms around each other. All this is - of course - nothing to do with sexuality. Rather, it shows they just don't have the same homophobic hang-ups against men touching one another as we do in the West.
On the other hand all rules seem suspended on public transport. A ride on a local bemo (or microlet) will see a veritable mobile game of Twister as the drivers attempt to stuff as many people in as possible. At this point you'll be expected to nurse a bag of onions and steady a few chickens in cane carriers under your feet. You will not be able to either move or breath. Then the driver slows for one more passenger... "Where the hell?" goes through your mind until you suddenly realise the new passenger is simply going to sit on your lap!
[We won great approval the day an elderly couple was able to get on a bemo because Grant moved and sat down on Dale's lap and nursed the two backpacks. Dale claims the circulation in his legs has not been quite the same ever since that trip, but it's kind of nice to be able to get that close in public and not get stares of shock and bewilderment!]
On a bed seeking front, it is common for travellers in SEAsia to just ask for "a room" and often each room only contains one bed. So we generally didn't have to ask anyway (and we had a good laugh at the owners of the losman splitting up straight Indonesian couples who weren't legally married!). And even when we were taken to a twin room it was enough to ask "And do you have another room?" for a double room to appear. The Javanese, in particular, are very switched on to this subtlety in language. What must be explicitly said in the West needs only be obliquely hinted at in Java for the message to come through loud and clear!
This goes two ways of course. When we first arrived we nearly went crazy trying to interpret these signals - when all else failed we found the oldest local and asked for their "guidance". Respect goes with age and this person will normally take it upon themself to ensure the right thing happens by you as both a guest and as someone who had the good manners to show respect to an elder. Feel free to use Pak (Father) and Bu (Mother) without hesitation and don't be afraid to use what little Bahasa Indonesia you know; everyone will appreciate your efforts immensely!
This tolerance we found as a gay couple, it almost goes without saying, runs much deeper than this one issue. The Wayang Kulit shadow plays through which much was taught to the children until comparatively recent times are full of many characters who do all sorts of good and bad things but who are not good or bad in themselves.
Each child, whether they be quiet and reflective or loud and active, can find a role model in the shadow play. The Wayang Kulit taught children that "good and bad" and "dark and light" is within us all; and that society both thrives and is threatened by this delicate balancing act. As the World shrinks and as we all come into contact with each other's different cultures, religions and societies this is a lesson that should not go untaught.
Sadly, we can recognise the same sort of modern day but medieval minded fundamentalist forces at work in both our countries - Christianity in Australia and Islam in Indonesia - that is ultimately damaging for any notion of tolerance or appreciation of balance. To these forces there must be no balance - you are either right ("us") or wrong ("you") and one must oppress the other. This is a danger for both countries; built as they are on the strengths of many diverse peoples and being both multi-racial and multi-cultural.
On a brighter note, we are both proud of the fact that it was Australia that sponsored the newly independent Indonesia into the United Nations, and that we did so against the wishes of the US, UK and the Netherlands. As our nearest and largest neighbour and at times plagued by politics quite removed from our own experiences our two nations have had their differences. Australians give their opinions freely (whether we think the listener will agree with us or not). Indonesians rarely do. Indonesians are proud of their country and sometimes take criticism of one particular thing or another to be a blanket insult to them and all their institutions. Of course it's not, but there lies a major cultural difference and one both Australian's and Indonesian's should work at understanding.
If you would like to know some more about Indonesia try these links
To our Indonesian friends - We hope you like this part of our site as much as we two 'bule' like your country! Please feel free to email us. We would like you to write in Indonesian but please be patient... Grant needs to s-l-o-w-l-y translate a lot of words at the present (Maaf, Grant hanya tahu sedikit Bahasa Indonesia - tetapi saya sedang belajar!). Please let us know where you live and what you do (study or work). We are certainly planning on coming back to Indonesia soon and we both think it would be a lot of fun to work there if the opportunity arises.
If you are thinking about studying in Australia and would like to talk about that we would be only too pleased to help you - if you don't already know Grant studied Chemical Engineering at RMIT has just completed a MBA at Melbourne University (Melbourne Business School) while Dale studied Primary Teaching at Monash University (Toorak Campus).Sampai jumpa lagi!
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