<<PAGES FROM >>
<<THE BOOK OF LIFE>>
TO THE PRETTIEST ONE The other Goddesses wouldn't invite Eris to their Party because she was a Drag Queen, and they figured she would get all the men, this being Greece, and all. Eris was pissed by their Rampant Provincialism, and dealt with it by leaving them a Golden Apple, engraved, To the Prettiest one, while she went off to enjoy a chili-cheese Corndog. Those Goddesses fought over this Golden Apple like it really could make them the Prettiest One. They made such a ruckus Zeus had to intervene. He wasn't stupid enough to make the choice himself, so he appointed an innocent shepherd from Gaul to choose the winner. Naturally they all tried bribes. The Goddess of the Hearth offered home, family, security, and the chance to die at a ripe old age. The Goddess of the Hunt could make him a victorious conqueror. The Goddess of Love dangled the most beautiful woman in the world. Without much hesitation He chose Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, to win the Golden Apple. His reward was Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world, who fell madly in love with this shepherd boy, Paris. When they ran off to Greece together, her husband, the King of Sparta, started a war that went on for two hundred years. Eris proved she was not to be trifled with. The incident became known as the Original Snub. We Do Not Worship The Goddess of Chaos. Merely Hail Her. Not Much Different Than The Way You Hail A Cab.

BACK NEXT ALL
Or Pick One:
amen.|. answer.|. apple.|. beatus .|. bob .|. brownie .|. chaos .|. church .|. 3c's.|. cookie .|. diogenes .|. drag .|. enemy .|. giggle .|. good .|. hand .|. jack .|. jealous .|. joke .|. kosher .|. logic .|. message .|. money .|. mu .|. panacea .|. party .|. poof .|. prayer .|. primrose .|. proclaim.|. protect .|. real .|. s&m.|. santa.|. sutter .|. thief .|. wanted .|. whitman .|. work .|.
1