This past week has been a hard one. On Tuesday my Mom called and said that she needed me to come to Atlanta to say goodbye to Sandra. Sandra suffered a major stroke on Monday that left her right side useless, her speech was lost and her eyesight was gone.
I connected up with Missy (Sandra's daughter) to drive 3 hours to Atlanta. We arrived at 11:00 PM. Our hearts were broken as we saw Sandra's condition. How can I describe the effect of being with someone you love and yet they cannot communicate with you except in the slightest smile or frown. But, I had to put my grief aside and help to talk to Sandra, clean the sheets she had urinated on and bathe her. My Mother was at the point of exhaustion and was near sickness herself.
We have been most fortunate to have such great help from friends at North Point Community Church. Some of these people have come just as an outreach of concern from the church. We truly could not have survived this week without them - or we would have had to put Sandra in a hospice home. These kind people have brought us food, washed dishes, emptied trash, answered the telephone a jillion times, and have read to Sandra and help nurse her. We have had others from Mom's church come and neighbors and
friends from Sandra's work. This has been a 24 hour job now for over a week, Missy and I have only been here 5 days. We have also brought Sandra's oldest son home from Colorado to say goodbye. And now we wait----and pray----and try to keep her from suffering.
Today I nearly collapsed from exhaustion. I tried to run one errand to get myself some B-12 for my injections and became very weak and near collapse. I entered the house full of people and quickly rushed for a bed. (How embarrassing to do that to people I had never met and some that were so kind to come see us!) Yes, I have been going too hard and much too long and not getting the proper care for my own disease - but there are so many, many needs here. I did manage to get Mom away to a friend's house for two
days of rest on Wed. and Thursday. Now she is threatening to get me away for complete rest and yet still be only 3 minutes away. The only reason I am able to write this is because I have set up a room of my own and am taking a "rest" away from the others.
Our phone rings constantly, and each conversation takes lots of energy. We love the concern, but we need help getting this area under control. We have many people over to visit and help, but this too takes energy rather than rest. My food needs are very different than the food that is being brought in, so we have to shop and cook and juice specifically for my health - that is exhausting. We are also going through Sandra's records of
bills, insurance, and such to begin the task of contacting each company about the bills due. We turned Sandra's Jeep into the dealership on Friday and are getting all the paperwork completed for that. I have called about her cellular phone contract and am getting that canceled with no additional fees, etc., etc., etc. I am doing all this to keep Mom from
having to deal with it. It has taken about four hours just to organize her records and get this far.
My spirit is still completely centered in Christ's goodness and hope. I have began to tell Sandra about the wonderful journey that she is going to take to come into Heaven and be with our earthly father and our Heavenly Father and Jesus. We have found wonderful material to read to her about heaven and what is there for believers. Nothing prepares a person for suffering in this way, NOTHING! But, yet wait, yes there is someone who
has suffered a greater grief and loss than we are suffering.................My Father in Heaven suffered the grief and agony of seeing His only son be tortured by men that He created, and then killed.
Yes, He is here to help the tired and weary and the broken hearted. Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Suffering has a tremendous effect in making one humble and gentle.
In Christ love and hope,
Belinda
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| The Journey 7 | The Journey 8 | Inner Healing |
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