Are we really into Fall - where has the summer of 1999 gone? There are many things that seem to get lost in our lives, but a summer is not a happy thing to lose.
This is turning into being a difficult time for me. The loss of Sandra is just now impacting me in a great way. The actual dying and death part is a breeze compared to the reality that she is no longer around anywhere, and I am here alone to face the struggles and joys of life without a soul mate. Missy, my niece, is facing this same reality and is struggling - even in the face of her wedding approaching. If there was ever a time I
would like to have negotiated timing with God over an event, it would have been Sandra's death. Six more months would have been such a blessing and comfort to our family, but what can you say when God plans an event - it happens.
I cannot say that I feel anger or have felt anger in Sandra being taken off the earth - how could I, when I know without a doubtt that she is alive and happy in degrees more wonderful than anything here on earth can offer. But, hurt and grief and loss are so big to me right now. Trying to live through this when one is well is tough, but living through this while I am sick and weak is almost over my faith limit. It hurts - deeply.
My Mom is gone on a trip to Texas to visit. I know that this is a real healing for her. She was just nearly crushed by the immensity of Sandra's needs at the end and then the death. I am hoping that she will come to stay with us in our guest house when she gets back. I think being in her house alone would be too much for any of us right now. And I really need help with my food preparations and stuff here.
I had a really bad couple of weeks. I had Candida ( yeast-like fungi) come into my body and zap my energy and made a mess of my emotions also. I had to cut out all fruit, vinegar and anything with yeast. This would not have been so bad, but fruit was half of my diet - and vinegar was being used daily to make vegetable dishes to eat. NOT FUN!!! I found a nutritional specialist in Hendersonville to work with me and help me get a grip on this mess. I think the Candida is starting to get under control now so that maybe fruits
can come back in soon and a little bread. She is working to change my program around to make it more workable and appealing. It is a miracle to have some help and guidance so close by. I really think this new therapy will help me to not feel so trapped and overwhelmed.
I truly hope that the next time I write I will be back into a healing and healthy mode again. This set back came so unexpected, but I guess some of these will be part of moving forward.
I appreciate all of your prayers and concerns, more than any of you will ever know!
In the hope of a Living and Caring Savior, Jesus,
Belinda
| The Journey 1 | The Journey 2 | The Journey 3 |
| The Journey 4 | The Journey 5 | The Journey 6 |
| The Journey 7 | The Journey 8 | Inner Healing |
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