This is an unusual and interesting time in my life. I am still very aware that I am feeling the loss of my dear sister on Aug. 24th. And yet, I am not sad too very much because I am so aware that she has attained the goal that we Christians hope for and live for - to be at home with Jesus. I love thinking about how much joy she is experiencing now. No more worries, no more cares, no more pain! The suffering is in those of us still left with a journey to continue here on earth - without the support and love of Sandra.
Our memorial service for Sandra was very special. We greatly enjoyed seeing so many friends and family. We ended the service with a meal that was provided by Mom's Sunday School class. At the end, we had a birthday cake for Mom - it was her birthday that day.
I had some testing done while I was in Atlanta. The blood work is looking very good. My liver functions are all within normal range. That statement indicates that my liver is able to work in fighting off cancer as far as we know. The big surprise came after we had a follow up sonogram. It came back indicating that the spot on my liver is not cancer, but a spot that was formed at birth. That basically means that the battle to beat the growth of cancer in me is very, very likely to be won. I am still working on my immune system just the same as I was before. I realize that cancer cells are still present in my body and will need the immune system to still work very hard to kill cancer cells and make new healthy cells. But, I am looking at putting out a fire in an apartment complex compared to putting out a fire that is city wide.
I am generally felling quite well. I still have limited resources of energy. I can get tired and weak if I am not resourceful.
I had an unusual surprise last week. Jeanette needed one more person to sign up at Blue Ridge Community College for a drawing class to keep the class from being dropped. She came in and asked if I would possibly sign up. Drop-add week was over the week before, but the assistant dean still let me enroll. And while I was at it, I signed up for French as well. So, I am now a college student! I think this was just another special surprise from God to help me adjust to a new life. I have had so many things rolling around in my head that I want to do now. Cancer has a way of either crushing a spirit - or making one come alive. God has been very gracious to extend mercy and hope to me in ways that I have never experienced before. Suffering is a tremendously useful tool in our dear heavenly Father's hands.
I have found some wonderful thoughts about disease. One is: accept your mortality and live your life, reach out for the help you need and accept it. To do so is a gift to those around you. I have had so much trouble in my life admitting I need help and support. But, I have truly seen this principle work. I have asked, and people have said that it was a wonderful gift that they could give me! I have tried so hard to be self sufficient that I have often missed the blessing of shy givers. I am realizing how important it is to focus on living, not the dying. Even if this disease takes me out soon (something will eventually take me off this earth), I can look for living each day to the fullest. I am also realizing that I love to give to others - I am working on finding ways to give each day :smiles, encouragement, hope, laughter, compassion and such.
Lastly, I want to say how much it has meant to me that each of you have expressed in interest in me and my family. Many of you have written or called - thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many of you have written with encouragement during Sandra's death, thank you! I truly have been drinking deeply from all the extended prayers and comfort.
Love, hope and joy to you.
Belinda
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| The Journey 4 | The Journey 5 | The Journey 6 |
| The Journey 7 | The Journey 8 | Inner Healing |
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