Ne 'i ai ha motu'a Setuata, ko hono hingoa ko SIOPE, na'e 'alu 'o fai 'ene kai fakaafe 'i ha kolo 'e taha 'i he Vahe Fonua Tongatapuu. Ko e 'api ko ia na'e teu me'akai ma'ana, na'a nau teuteu ha fu'u pola lahi mo mahu 'i he ngaahi kiki kehekehe. Na'e 'i ai 'a e pulu, puaka, 'ota ika, lu pulu, lu sipi, sosisi nu'usila, ngaahi fingota kehekehe, 'uo, lo'i hoosi mo e ngaahi alaa me'a pehee. 'I he fai ifo 'a e ma'u me'atokoni 'a e Setuataa, ne ki'i mo'ungaloa ai 'a e 'alu ko ia 'a e taimii. 'I he'ene toki 'ilo'i kuo ne tomui ki he malanga efiafi, na'a ne puna fakavavevave hake ki 'olunga ke 'alu. Na'e te'eki ai ke ne fu'u makona, ko ia ai na'a ne fa'o fakavavevave hifo ha konga pulu mo ha fo'i sosisi nu'usila 'i he kato hono kote malangaa. 'I he'ene hu atu ko ia 'i he matapa 'o e falelotuu, kuo 'osi kamata 'a e malangaa ia. Ko e Faifekau ko ia na'e lolotonga malangaa, na'a ne malanga 'ia SIOPE (JOBE) he Fuakava Motu'aa, pea 'i he konga 'o 'ene leaa na'e to'o ia mei he folofola 'a Sihova kia Siope. Na'a ne pehe mai, "SIOPE, ko e ha 'oku 'iate ko ee?" mo ne fakamamafa'i mai 'aki 'ene tuki'i hifo 'a e tu'unga malanga. 'Oku fe'unga ia mo e ta'utu hifo 'a e Setuata mei he sea muii. Ne ki'i loto taaufu'ua 'a e Setuataa 'o ne pehee 'e ia, na ko e fehu'i ange 'a e Faifekau malangaa ki ai. Taimi tatau pe, na'e to e taa'i mai 'e he Faifekau 'a e tu'unga malangaa mo toe hiki hake hono le'oo 'o to e pehee mai, "SIOPE, ko e HA 'oku 'iate ko e? Taimi ko 'enii, na'a ne ongo'i tautea hono lotoo, pea ne pehee loto pe, ka to e fehu'i mai 'a e Faifekauu, teu tu'u mu'a 'o tala. Pea 'i hono tu'o tolu ko ia 'a e fehu'i 'a e Faifekau, "Siope, koe ha 'oku 'iate koe? ('i he le'o vaivai). Tuai e kemo 'a e tu'u hake 'a e motu'a Setuata 'i he lotolotonga 'o e fu'u kaingalotu tokolahi, mo ne ala hifo ki he kato hono kotee 'o ne to'o hake, 'o ne tali atu, "Faifekau, ko e pulu mo e sosisi!"

Contributed by Dallin Muti.

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Na'e 'i ai ha faifekau palangi na'e 'a'ahi ange ki Tongatapu 'o fai ai ha konifelenisi fakasiasi. Na'e fonu 'a e fu'u fale lotu he kaingalotu ne omai mei he ngaahi tapa kehekehe 'o Tongatapu pea pehe ki Ha'apai mo Vava'u. Ko e anga maheni foki 'a e taimi 'oku lea ai ha faifekau muli, 'oku 'i ai mo e tokotaha ke fakatonu lea. Ne a'u mai 'eni ki he taimi ke fakahoko ai 'a e malanga 'a e faifekau muli ni. Na'a ne tu'u mei he tu'unga malanga fakataha moe tokotaha fakatonu lea 'i hono tafa'aki fakato'omata'u. Ko e anga leva 'eni 'a e malanga:

Faifekau muli: "My dear brothers and sisters,"
Fakatonulea: "'E hoku fanga tokoua mo hoku fanga tuofafine,"

Faifekau muli: "The Lord said for us to REPENT!" [pounding on the pulpit]
Fakatonulea: "Kuo folofola mai 'a e 'Eiki ke tau FAKATOMALA!" [mo ne fakamamafa'i 'aki 'ene taa'i hifo 'a e tu'unga malanga]

Faifekau muli: "Because if we don't REPENT!"
Fakatonulea: "He ka 'ikai ke tau FAKATOMALA!"

Faifekau muli: "The Lord will fire us!"
Fakatonulea: "E afi'i kitautolu 'e he 'Eiki!"

Contributed by Dallin Muti

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Na'e 'i ai ha tangata 'Eiki vaka mei muli na'e puna mai ki Tonga 'o fai ha'ane fai sivi folau tahi ma'ae kau 'eiki Vaka 'i Tonga.

Na'e fakafehu'i 'e he faisivi 'a e motu'a 'eikivaka Tonga, "Kapau 'e to mai ha ki'i matangi 'i ho'o folau he vaka, ko e ha ho'o me'a 'e fai?

Na'e tali ange 'e he motu'a Tonga, "Teu li ha taula (anchor)."

Na'e to e fehu'i ange 'e he 'eikivaka mulii, "Fefe kapau 'e to mai ha ki'i afaa?"

Na'e tali atu 'e he 'eikivaka Tonga, "Teu to e li pe mo ha to e taula."

Na'e longo si'i 'a e palangi pea ne to e fakahoko ange 'ene fehu'i fakamuimui, "Fefe, kapau 'e to e to mai ha fu'u afaa fakamanavahe?"

Na'e tali atu 'e he motu'a Tonga, "Teu toe li pe moha toe taula."

Na'e ki'i puputu'u 'a e paalangi pea ne fehu'i ange, "Tangata'eiki, ko ho'o falukunga taula fua 'a'au mei fe?

Na'e ki'i longo si'i 'a e Tongaa pea ne fehu'i ange ki he palangi, "'Eikivaka, he ko ho'o falukunga matangi fua 'a'au mei fe?"

Contributed by Dallin Muti (This is a true story from Ha'ateiho).

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Ko e ongo tama ko Too mo Taa mei 'Atataa
Ko hona faiva ko e taa too mo e too faa 'ata'ataa
Too faa 'a Too
Taa too mo Taa
Taa too mo too faa 'i 'Atataa 'a Too mo Taa.

Submitted by 'Ema Hao'uli from Auckland, New Zealand.

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Submitted by Lofaenzed at the PolynesianCafe

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Uncle Matuku was visiting San Francisco for the first time from Tonga to see his nephew, Makoko. As they left the airport, Uncle Matuku noticed the road sign which read, S-A-N J-O-S-E. Fie'ilo as he was, Uncle Matuku asked his nephew, "Is that the road to San Chose?"

[grinning] Makoko politely corrected his uncle and said, "Oooh,...uncle, the "J" for San Jose is pronounced with an 'H.' For example, the names like San Juanito and San Juan are both pronounced with an 'H.' Do you kinda understand, uncle?"

Uncle Matuku nodded, "Ooooh, I see."

Well, their conversation continued, "When are you going back to Tonga?" asked Makoko.

Uncle Matuku was still thinking of how the "J" was still pronounced with an "H" and he replied. "Oooh, you know...I fink so...in Hune or Huly."

Contributed by Tia Maria Muti

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Na'e 'i ai ha matu'a Tonga , 'e toko tolu [Latu, Sifa mo Sione] na'e fai ha'anau kumi puaka fakatau. Na'a nau nofo 'i Salt Lake City, Utah. Ne nau fanongo 'oku 'i ai ha faama 'oku nau fakatau atu 'a e fanga puaka, 'oku ofi mai pe he feitu'u 'oku nau nofo ai.

'I he'enau heka atu ko 'eni ke o 'o fakatau mai 'a e puaka, na'e fehu'i ange leva 'e Latu ki he ongo ua ko ee, "Ko hai 'ia tautolu 'e 'alu 'o fai fetu'utaki? He ko e lea fakapalangi pe 'oku ou 'ilo'i 'e au. ko e 'iesi (yes) pe mo e nou (no)."

Ne nau ki'i longo si'i pea pehe atu leva 'e Sifa, "Tuku keu 'alu au, he ko e fua ia ho'omo fa'a hola he Lautohi Pule'anga 'o hihiloku mo tuli hopo 'i vaitafe he'etau kei tupu hake! 'Oku mo fu'u valengangau pehe ai. Tuku keu 'alu au he na'e 'osi 'eku Lautohi 'aku..."

Ko ia 'i he'enau a'u atu ko ia ki he faama, na'e lue atu 'a e motu'a 'a e tu'i, Sifa, ke fai e fakatau 'o e puaka. Na'e tu'u pe 'a Latu mo Sione he ve'e kaa 'o fakafanongo . Na'e fakafe'iloaki mai 'a e palangi, pea na'e fehu'i ange leva 'e Sifa, "I wan ... bik." Na'e ki'i puputu'u 'a e palangi pea ne fehu'i ange pe ko e ha koa 'a e me'a 'oku ne fiema'u. Na'e toe fakatataa'i 'e Sifa 'a e fuopotopoto mo e folinga ko ia 'o e puaka mo ne toe fehu'i ange 'a e fehu'i tatau pea ne faifai pea mahino ki he palangi, "Oh, yeah.. a pig!"

'Io 'io pe tangata mo 'ene malimali. Na'e fehu'i ange 'e he palangi pe ko e ha 'a e fa'ahinga puaka 'oku ne fiema'uu, pe ko e sinaamanu pe ko e puaka tau, puaka iiki pe lalahi, mo e ngaahi alaa me'a pehee.

Na'e 'ikai ke 'ilo'i 'e Sifa pe ko e ha koa 'a e fakapalangi 'o e sinaamanuu. Na'a ne ki'i hila mai ki mui ki he ongo ua ko ee ka na'e 'ange'ange ange foki 'ene ta'e'ilo 'a'ana, 'i he matu'aki hala 'ataa 'a e ongo ua. Na'e ki'i fakaofiofi atu pe 'ene tali 'o pehe, "I wan a "leiti bik" (lady pig) ..." Toe ki'i puputu'u e palangi 'o 'ikai ha'ane mahino'i 'a e fehu'i 'a Sifa.

Na'e 'ilo'i 'e Latu mo Sione 'oku ki'i hee 'a Sifa. Ko ia ai na'e ki'i ui mai leva 'a Latu ki a Sifa 'o pehee,

"Ki'i 'ahi'ahi'i atu 'a e "kielo bik" (girl pig) !!!"

Contributed by Dallin Muti

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Tau hake 'a e manuao Pilitania ki Nuku'alofa pea puke 'a e kapiteni he mofi'uto 'o 'ikai toe lava 'o lea. Manavasi'i 'a e kau kauvaka pe te nau lava 'o foki fefe ki Pilitania kapau 'e 'ikai ke sai 'a e kapiteni ia. Tu'utu'uni 'e he toketa kuopau ke ne to'o 'a e 'uto 'o e kapiteni 'o fetongi 'aki ha fo'i 'uto 'e taha, pea ne tala ki he kau kauvaka ke nau penipeni mai ke ma'u ha seniti ke kumi'i 'aki ha fo'i 'uto fo'ou ke fai 'aki 'a e fetongi 'uto. Sio hifo 'a e toketa he Kalonikali 'oku fai 'a e fakama'ama'a 'uto 'i Molisi (Morris Hedstrom) pea 'aka pasikala atu ki ai 'o vakai. Me'apango ne tomui atu kuo 'osi ia, ka na'e talaange 'e he ta'ahine faifakatauu ke vakai'i 'a Talamahu he na'e 'i ai 'a e ki'i fakatau'anga 'uto ai pea a'u atu 'a e toketa 'o sio atu ko e motu'a fakatau kolukalu mei Folaha ka 'oku fokotu'u mai 'a e fo'i 'uto 'e tolu fakataha mo 'ene ngaahi kofu kolukalu.

Vakai atu 'e he kapiteni 'oku kehekehe mai 'a e mahu'inga 'o e ngaahi fo'i 'uto pea ne 'eke atu ki he motu'a pe koe ha hono 'uhinga.

" 'Io, ko e fo'i 'uto koee 'oku ki'i ma'ama'a ange ia he 'oku ki'i fosi'i, he na'e ma'u ia mei he ki'i talavou na'e mate kei si'i," ko e motu'aa ange ia pea ne ala atu 'o hiki'i mai 'a e fo'i 'uto hono ua.

" 'Oku ki'i mamafa ange 'a e fo'i 'uto ko'eni he 'oku ki'i fofolahi ange ia pea ko e 'uto 'eni 'o e motu'a na'e kapiteni 'i Liahona, hiki mei ai 'o Maamaloa mo Loumaile 'i Toloa pea na'e ma'u hono faka'ilonga ako mei Atenisi - pea na'e pule he ngaue fakapule'anga he ta'u lahi, pea koia 'oku ki'i ma'olunga ange ai 'a hono totongi 'ona".

Sio atu 'a e toketa ko e fo'i 'uto hono tolu 'oku fuo tatau pe mo e fo'i 'uto hono ua ka 'oku liunga tolu 'a hono mahu'ingaa 'ona. Na'a ne 'eke'i atu leva pe koe ha 'oku fu'u mamafa pehe ai.

Tali ange 'e he motu'a: " 'Io ko e toki ma'u ni mai 'a e fo'i 'uto ko'eni," pea ne hiki'i mai 'o fulifulihi ange ke sio ki ai 'a e toketa mo fai 'a 'ene fakamatala, "pea 'oku mamafaa he ko e 'uto 'o e tama mei he kolo 'oku 'iloa ko Vaini, pea 'oku mahino mai pe na'e 'ikai ke fu'u ngaue 'aki."

Contributed by Lofaenzed who's likely to stowaway on this manuao - as his "friends" from Vaini are out looking for him...

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A: "Knock knock..."

B: "Who's there?"

A: "Dish"

B: "Dish, who?"

A: "Dish is how da Tongan speak!"

Contributed by Dallin Muti

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There was this Tongan that just came from the islands. He went to take an English class. Their first assignment was to make a sentence using DEFENSE and DEFEAT. The next day, they returned to class, and they teacher had them stand up and recite the sentence they made up. One palangi guy stood up and recited his sentence, then a Hawaiian stood and recited his sentence. Then came the Tongan guy, he stood proudly and said, "Da bolisimon chasin me, and I jump da fense, and lan on da feet."

Anonymous

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During the war in Iraq, the American soliders went to Tonga to teach the soliders how to jump off the planes. The Vava'u, and Tongatapu, and Haapai soliders were all there for this special training. They were all excited but scared. The day came, and they were in the plane in the air. The commander called out, "Tongatapu ready!!", Tongatapu said, "Tongatapu wait", so they turned to Haapai, "Haapai ready!!!", Haapai said, "Haapai wait", then they turned to Vavau,"Vavau ready!!", Vavau said,"Vavau WET!!!!!!"

Contributed by Ha'apai

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One day, a Tongan village employee (no kidding) was giving one of the lectures in the best English she could muster. Eventually, she forgot the next line of her script and got flustered, so she apologized to the guests by saying, "I'm so sorry, I forgot my remember." Ha! ha!

Contributed by Delsa Moe

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Here's a true story that a Ha'apai person told me a few years back:

"A Vava'u guy went over to this girl that he likes to date in Tongatapu. Traditional dating requires the man go to the house of the young lady, for a little faikava...This young, handsome and talented Vava'u man, utilizing his "Tamaiki-mei he-Lolo" smoothness, struck up a very good relationship with the family in no time. They treated him as one of the family...One day, he decided to ask the parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. That evening, he, as always, dressed real sharp. He also put on this awesome cologne (the very expensive kind) that he just received from America from his rich cousin, Le'o Vaivai. It was called AVON (that was the bomb cologne back in the days, ok?). So, he started off to the young lady's house whistling his favorite Tongan tune, "Ki'i Pusi, Ki'i Pusi." Unfortunately, he accidently stepped on a booboo (te'ekulii vaia) outside some lawn on his way to the house but his cologne was so strong that he didn't realize (naamu'i) what had happened. As he sat down, the father, the mother and the daughter were all sitting anxiously awaiting this special moment to occur.

Father said politely, "'Ei, mana'ia mei Vava'u, 'oku ki'i 'alaha tama ho'o fo'i me'a mai he 'aho ni!" Trying to be discreet about letting him know how deadly his feet were!

Vava'u mana'ia, still without a clue, replied proudly, "'Io, 'ikai koaa ko e ki'i fo'i kaloni fo'ou na'e fakamoimoi mai mei Hauai'i mei hoku kaasini ko Le'o Vaivai..."

Father answered, "'Io, 'a e mana'ia Hauai'i ko ia?"

"'Io" continued the Vava'u man, "Ko e kai ia 'a e Loloo!"

Father, finally fed up with the bullcrap, with an outburst of laughter, "'A e ha? 'Ae ta'ee?" hehehe!!

fuufuu mai ki ai!

Contributed by a Ha'apai man...:=)

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What do they say about Polynesian dancing?

It takes Tuvalu to Tonga!

Contributed by C. S. Leschhorn

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One Sunday I attended a service at a Tongan church with a friend of mine. It just so happened that, that particular Sunday, the service was open for the congregation to speak. A lady from Tonga stood up to say a few words. She had just arrived in the United States about a week ago. She said, "I woot chuss lige(like) to say a few worts." Then she paused for quite a while. It was already obvious that she struggled with the english language, however the congregation was trying to figure out what she was trying to say. Later on it was quite apparent that she was trying to say, "last week." However, this is what she said: "Yestaday, yestaday, yestaday, yestaday, yestaday, yestaday, yestaday (yesterday 7 times)...I was in Tonga. Then she continued on.

Contributed by Jillana Siasaga Ah Loe

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How can you tell a Samoan in Las Vegas?

He's the one playing the parking meters.

How can you tell a Tongan?

He's the one standing in line waiting his turn.

Contributed by K Dog

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There was this Dong-gan lady name Manu who just came from the Island. Couple of months later Manu got her first job at the grocery store as a cashier. Boi she was vely excited. One day the menacha ask her if she can go to da back and get da supply. Manu had a confused look on her face, but she nodded and said "Okei". She walk to the back and thought to herself, "Ko'e ha 'ae supply?" She sat at the back of the store for a while thinking about what is supply. Meanwhile, the manager at the front was beginning to wonder what is taking Manu so long. So the manager decided to go and see why is it taking so long. Right when the manager push the door open, Manu jumped is front of him with both arms open and yelled as loud as she can "Saplai"

Contributed by Maria J. Vakaahi

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In the middle of winter, a cousin of mine who knew very little English came to America for the very first time. He was amazed by the place, but was really bothered by the cold. So he persuaded me to take him to the store to buy a jacket. He saw a few Tongans wearing leather, so he said he wanted one too. So off we went to the leather shop in the mall. Once we got inside, he qiuetly, but eagerly tried the jackets on. A salesperson approached me and asked if we needed help. I said that my cousin was really interested in buying a jacket. By this time, my cousin found a jacket he really liked. He came over to me and said, "'Eke pe 'oku fiha 'ae saketi." So I turned to the salesperson and asked, " My cousin here wants to know how much this jacket costs?" He responded by saying that it was on sale for $299. Then I turned to my cousin and said, " UA HIVE HIVA." Immediately, with a big smile, he said, "MA'AMA'A." Then I said to him, "UA NGEAU HIVE HIVA". Then his face changed from a smile to a big frown and while shaking his head, he turned to the clerk in disbelief and said, "Dis saketi VELI HEAVY!!!!"

Contributed by Rais 'Aho

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When the palangi first came to Tonga, they brought with them metal as a gift to the people. The palangi were unloading there cargo, and all the native stand around and fie 'ilo. They saw how strong and musculine the Tongan people were, and one of palangi men yelled out to one of the native, "Hey, you come here, you come here", to help them unload there cargo. And the Tongan men turned around to the rest of the fie 'ilo and said, "Ko e hingoa e me'aa ko e ukamea, ko e ukamea." And that's how ukamea came about to the Tongan vocab.

Contributed by Maria J. Vakaahi

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Sione died and awaited the angel to meet him at heaven's gate. Sione was so excited that he went looking for the angel. The angel's name was St. Pita. The angel was surprised to find Sione looking for him and reminded Sione that he had to answer three important questions before he could enter heaven.

Sione thought...no problemz! St. Pita reminded Sione that he needed to answer three questions correctly in order to enter heaven. "The first question", said St. Pita, " is...how many days of the week begin with a "T"?" Sione pondered and smiled: "Eh, that's easy! There's two." St.Pita surprised at his answer responded:"How did you figure two?" Sione cheeckily answered:"Today and Tomorrow!" St.Pita smiled and said,"Well, you do have a point there even though i didn't expect that answer."

Then St.Pita went on to ask:"Question #2 is how many seconds are there in a year?" Sione thought long and hard and finally replied:"I believe there are 12 seconds in a year." St.Pita again surprised asks:"And how did you figure 12 seconds in a year?" Sione replied:"Well, there is January second, Feburary second, and so on." St.Pita starts to chuckle and says:"You have a point there, Sione. But that wasn't exactly the answer i was looking for."

Sione wonders what the 3rd question will be and is very worried. St.Pita smiles and asks:"Question #3 is simple...what is God's first name?" Sione, withou waiting shouts out:"Howard!" Oh...St.Pita could not imagine where this answer came from and asks:"Sione, how did you find God's first name to be HOWARD?" Sione replies: "I found that in the Lord's prayer...you know...Our Father which art in heaven, "Howard" be thy name."

Contributed by Laie Park Queen

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There was this German guy who upon getting his degree from Uni. decided he wanted a holiday and picked Tonga as his destination. So he went to Tonga where he met a guy named Sione. Sione invited the German to go to church wih him one Sunday and said he would translate the sermon for him in English, so the German says why not?

They go to church pea kamata 'a e malanga....it started off well and the German was enjoying the sermon....fai atu fai atu pea pehe mai 'e he Faifekau;

"PEA LOLOTONGA 'A E FONONGA ATU 'A SISU HE HALA"

Pea pehe atu 'a Sione ki he Siamane;"AND WHILE CHISAS WOS WALKING TOWN TA ROAT"

Pea pehe mai 'ae Faifekau; "PEA NA'E PEHE 'E SISU KI HE 'ENE KAU AKO 'OKU OU HELA AU!"

Sione translates; "AND CHISUS SAY TO HIS TISAIPALS 'HOI' ON TA ROAT...

Contributed by Student Name

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A Tongan family was just kickin' it one time and the kids ask the dad if they could watch a rated R movie the dad said no.....and he asked..what does rated R stands for and kids go "restricted"..and he goes right and you guys can't even watch PG rated movies either..and the kids go why???..the dad asked them..what does PG stand for and the kids go Parental Guidance..and the dad goes see me and your mom have to watch it first and decide whether you guys can see it or not.....and the dad goes but you guys can watch rated G movies and he asked the kids what does it stand for and the kids were like...ummmmmm we don't know and the dad goe AH DUH...G STANDS FOR GHILDREN!!!

Contributed by Rebel Famalee

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There was these 2 tongans kickin back. Sione and Mele. Sione had a paper bag and he said to Mele, "If you guess how many chicken I got in dis bag I'll give you bof of dem." (both of them). So Mele said, "Okay is it 3?" And then Sione said, Hey, how did you know?

Contributed by Felafoai T. Fano

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What did King Kong say after he ate Tonga?

I want Samoa! (some more)

Contributed by Sunia Pututau

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Lani is a young business man from 'Eua. Na'e ma'u foki 'enau pepa .. so they move in to Christchurch(NZ). Lani has just started his own firm in Christchurch pea ne toe fakahingoa foki koe.. "FUNGA FONUA" Lani rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, Lani pick up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working......" hun- rat -fau-seni.....Polofiti" he said on the phone. Lani threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor " 'Oku 'i ai ha me'a 'oku ke tokanga ki ai.... oops.....CAN I HELP YOU "

The man said," SURE I'VE COME TO INSTALL THE PHONE"

Contributed by Hustla from the Garden City

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A Tongan guy who just came from Sopu called 'OFA, but hes known as 'OFA POKO.

Poko find himself in dire trouble. Kuo 'osi 'ene silini 'o 'ikai lava 'o taa e ngaahi mo'ua kae 'ikai ngata ai koe toe feinga'i 'ene fea ke foki. Poko is so desperate that he decide ke kole ka Sihova for help.

'Ofa poko goes into the temple and begins to pray....." 'E 'Otua tokoni mai . I have no money, pea 'e iku Tiipota'i au ki Tonga, please let me win the lotto"

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Toe 'alu 'a 'Ofa ki falelotu...." 'E 'Otua please let me win the lotto he ko 'eni kuo tala au pea 'e fakamaa hono fakahifo kii'i atu hoku nima 'i Tonga.... please let me win the lotto"

Lotto night comes and 'Ofa still has no luck!! Back to Fale lotu ..." 'E Sihova, Why are you forsaken me... Ko 'eni kuo tala au, 'ikai ke ma'u 'eku fea, 'ikai lava 'o totongi e mo'ua pea koe fanau e moe hoa 'oku nau langoa atu 'i Tonga.... I don't often ask you for help pea kuou fo'i he lii misinale moe ma'u lotu. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???

Ne fakafokifaa pe kuo mafa'a 'ae langi and 'Ofa is confronted by the voice of lord:

" 'OFA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST"

Contributed by Hustla from the Garden City

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