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Guestbook Archive
1 Oct 1999 -- 21 Dec 1999

Thanks to the many people who have contributed to the guestbook. The guestbook has been growing exponentially lately and it makes for some of the most compelling reading on the site. The guestbook now takes up five pages:



The views expressed here do not necessarily agree with my own.

Emma Roger - 12/21/99 22:25:00
My Email:emmaroger@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: searching for methadone

Comments:
Hi there, I am an Australian living in New York City and since being here have somehow fallen into recruitment working with the methadone population. So every day I see people in a similar situation to you - some have been on methadone for 20 years, some just a few years. Either way it is proving to be a significant barrier for these people wanting to re-enter the workforce. In New York people can't go to pharmacies, they must be in a treatment center or methadone clinic. Unfortunately, most people on methadone in New York are hispanic or Aftrican American. It is a real problem over here, heroine becoming a regular teenage d ug (like pot). I can see being on Methadone is becoming stressful and a hassel for you. And yes, it is a right pain in the arse. All the more reason why it would be great if you didn't need it in your life. There is a meditation centre in the Blue Mountains called Vipassana. There are people who have learned to manage their Manic Depression through this technique. It is natural and it works. Check it out. I know this is what you don't want to hear, but I have seen how methadone rules peoples lives for years and years. I'm sure you don't want this. Regards Emma

- 12/21/99 14:38:19

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Kate - 12/21/99 10:51:35

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I have been a heroin user now for a year although to most people who know me this would be the last drug they would think I was on. What people don't realise is that we are not worthless pieces of shit, I scored in the top ten percent in year 12, I am com leting an honors uni degree in science and I work and socialise like anyone else. I use because I like it, everyone has there drug and this is mine. I just want people to realise that we may not be worthless, homeless etc. but your best friend, daughter, orkmate or neighbour.

Scott Schreiber - 12/21/99 07:17:18
My Email:Havrescot@AOL.com
Suggestions for the page.: Thankyou for your courage and perserverance
How did you find this page?: Seeking to help client

Comments:
It is difficult to find any person/agency who has some empathy for addicts, other than condo heights alcoholics. Thankyou for your advocacy

Ed - 12/21/99 01:23:15
My URL:http://www.duffe.freeserve.co.uk
My Email:ed@duffe.freeserve.co.uk
How did you find this page?: Search engine

Comments:
I like your page. It's very well written and looks good too. My name is Ed, I'm 24 and I'm a junkie. I've been clean now for three years, not by choice though. I accidentally od'd at the end of 1996 and am now confined to a wheelchair, permenantel disabled. I caught a disease called mrsa when I was in hospital. My brother is a junkie/alcoholic too but he's doing really well. He's been clean and dry for nearly a year now. I never really stopped the boozing. If anything, it's worse now than e er. Well, why I wrote to you is to say well done for having the courage to tell the world about your plight. I had a site up about me, mixed in with computer programming. However, they both got too big to manage as a whole so I'm just concentrating n the programming bit at the moment. I hope to get my personal info page up again soon. If you'd be interested in reading it, let me know and I'll send you the url. It's nice to hear that someone is able to get their back together after all the ho rific things that you've been through. Well done. It gives the rest of us hope...

shit face - 12/20/99 14:00:53
My Email:fuck u hoe!!!!!
Suggestions for the page.: it blows
How did you find this page?: ur mom koff koff.....

Comments:
Why does ur page suck shit?? ive seen better crap from a 5 year old. you think ur a junky??? fuck u!! i do tylenol now that hard core!!! i take one pill a day, the doctors say i should quit or ill die when im 80. i think ur drug abuse is nothin. from: fuck u hoe bitch!!!!!

- 12/20/99 08:00:34

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mariah b. - 12/19/99 02:34:15
My Email:denver721@msw.com
How did you find this page?: just browsing.....

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your experiences are so similar to my own! i will write you with more questions/comments when time permits. i have so much i want to ask you. take care.

aaaaaaaaaaaaa - 12/16/99 22:39:12

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CRYSTAL - 12/16/99 20:34:01
My Email:ENID_REYE@YAHOO.COM
How did you find this page?: SEARCH

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WHAT ARE THE CHEMICAL OF HERE I'M DOING A REPORT ON HEROIN AND AND I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING. THANKS

Rusty - 12/14/99 17:04:59
My Email:MATTRUT@msn.com
How did you find this page?: by mistake

Comments:
I am also on methadone maintenence,and I get 80mg. per day.this is the seond time that I have been on the clinic.I do not care what anyone else says or feels about methadone, it works for me and that is all that matters. Good Luck Rusty

Wayne Leng - 12/14/99 07:14:07
My URL:http://www.missingpeople.net
My Email:wleng@missingpeople.net
How did you find this page?: Search engine for Heroin addiction

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CLARISSA - 12/14/99 00:39:36
My Email:FAKEBABIES@WORLDNET.ATT.NET
How did you find this page?: ON MY OWN

Comments:
HELLO, I am a female who seems to be quite confused about the methadone program and how it works. Let me explain, I ran into my first love after some years after graduating from school. We started dating again fell in love and from there the drama begin , he and i would always go to this place where he said he had to see a parole officer, alright he went for about a year and i took him not knowing it was anything else. So i'll say that after two years of being to gether he is tossing turning in middle o night and i just thought he couldn't sleep. Than one morning he is on the phone with his mom crying and i don't know whats going on and she states to me that he is asking her for help because he was on the methadone program, got off with no problem but ent back to using and she was trying to find him help. this was a devastating blow to my heart, HELP ME , I AM CONFUSED ABOUT ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Krystal - 12/13/99 19:01:12

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Chrsitie Mead - 12/11/99 04:38:30
My Email:ulysees@ozemail.com
Suggestions for the page.: I think it's brilliant
How did you find this page?: altavista

Comments:
I am very interested in using exracts from this page in an artical I am writing for the Sydney Morning Herald. I would like to use sections which include your comments, and your views on what it is like. I too have lost a family member to Heroin, and I fe l it is essentail to make people aware of this problem. If you are interested in helpiung me, please contact me at the above address. Christie

eso - 12/10/99 07:51:37
My Email:smurf411@juno.com

Comments:
I wanted to try heroin until I read your page. I realize how it can mess up everything and make it all come undone. Thanks. Emily

Mary Jane H. - 12/03/99 02:15:55
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
This page is good, nice work, right now I'm as horney as hell though! anyone care for a fuck?! hehe, love ya babe!

andy wray - 12/03/99 01:19:58
My URL:http://andy.goplace.com
My Email:andywray@xoommail.com
How did you find this page?: web ferret

Comments:
this is a wonderful site. Its good to know that were not alone in our self inflicted sentence. I wish i could stop but im to far in to it now. £50 to £100 a day, im £7000 in debt so far and going further under every day Theres no way out for me, i've dug my grave. To all you people who are just starting out with gear, look at me and stop while you still can, coz it gets harder every day. If anybody wants to talk about anything you can reach me on AOL INSTANT MESSAGER buddy name F1REYJACK. keep up the good work, Andy

Jill Aksu - 12/02/99 19:23:07
My Email:jaksu@mms.org
How did you find this page?: personal curiosity

Comments:
As I am very close to someone who has been clean for 1 1/2 years....his 3rd time. THis seems to be the final try and he is succeeding....I am just curious to read about the attraction, and the effects of this. I would really like to know if this affects the chances of being sterile. If you know, please share with me. Thank you.

Kathryn Cook - 12/01/99 14:41:22
How did you find this page?: search for methadone articles

Comments:
great site, good job at presenting objective information, congratulations and good luck on your recovery

Jill and Lauren - 12/01/99 14:06:48
My Email:unknown@school.com
Suggestions for the page.: cool
Relevant URL's: don't know
How did you find this page?: dogpile

Comments:
we are addicted to heroin and we found u and inspiration. thanks

jamie - 12/01/99 04:20:46
My URL:http://www.yardsaleplus.com
My Email:jmetrouble@aol.com
Suggestions for the page.: heroin pros
How did you find this page?: goto.com

Comments:
i am doing a report on methadone and heroin. i can find lots of pros and cons of methadone and only cons of heroin. this is good, iguess since there are no pros to heroin but if there werent then nobody would use it. I am a wuss - never tried anything hat does it feel like? is there a pro to heroin? just wondering

anonymous - 12/01/99 02:52:52
My Email:chirp1@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: browsing

Comments:
Few people who know me know the sadness I carry around because of my son's heroin addiction. I try to understand it and help him but I feel so hopeless about his longterm recovery. He is currently clean, I think, and living with his grandparents. I ca 't enjoy these few weeks/months he has been clean for fear of what will happen when he leaves there and goes back out into the world. We cannot have Christmas here in our hometown because he is afraid to come back to the source of his problem. He has/ha such promise about the time he graduated from high school in 1991 but he began a downward spiral soon after he left for college that he has not seemed to be able to cope with anyway except through drugs. My husband and I know he must have a mood disorde that partly causes his use, but attempts to get him into counselling have failed. He will not come clean with anyone. I attended NarAnon for a while and found it somewhat helpful and need to start back. I fel I benefit from sites such as this because feel less alone and I hear stories that sound just like ours. Is there hope that he will stay clean without any treatment? He has been detoxed several times this year and was in a treatment facility twice, once for 4 days and once for 2 weeks. Someone please give me some encouragement! Thanks. God bless all of you who are trying to quit.

jordan electra simpson - 12/01/99 00:47:41
My Email:jojorus@earthlink.net
How did you find this page?: just looking

Comments:
this web site has alot of info i ran into it because i'm doing a project on herion for school thank you for shareing your storys with me it helped alot. p.s for all of you who are trying to stop doing drugs keep trying becaues your life is more worth it that you think.life as we no it we deal with it like we no how.It may not seem true when your feeling like nothing could be more blue than you,but if you look beyond you mitte be surprised to what you will find.remember that when you belive you can do anything the power is in the palm of your hand its all up to you. thank you again for sharing your storys with me. jorda

Samantha Shaw - 11/30/99 21:13:00

Comments:
I like your web page

lisa andersen - 11/30/99 17:23:27
My Email:lisa_d_18_@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: through search engine

Comments:
I agree with you totally when you say that the people who send comments about how drug abuse and junkies are bad are very narrowminded.My older sister is a heroin addict.It was hard when she lived with us but when she was on heroin we had the best times w ever had.Jenny moved in with my family when she was 15 years old.(She is actually my cousin but because of family problems in T.O. she ran away and came to live with us.)Her step fathr raped her,beat her and in here mothers home there was just always abu e.Jenny became very withdrawn and ran away to live on the streets of T.O. and work as a hooker.Heroin took away all of her pain inside and out and for that I am thankful.Without heroin my sister wouldn't have been able to call my mother and ask for help.I Jenny had not have found heroin she wouldn't be alive today,she would have probably stayed on the streets and eventually died in some cruel and unhuman way alone all by herself.Jenny is now 23 years old and has two beautiful baby boys and one baby girl.S e is still using heroin but only to stay with us.Heroin saved my sister....

Mark Vincent Tadjab - 11/29/99 16:52:25
My Email:mtadjab@hotmail.com

Comments:
Hi There, This is Mark here from the Netherlands (Rhoon) a village near Rotterdam. I use "H" for 11 years now and I am in a methadone program and had to do some work for the gouvernement (100 hours) and had very good conversations with one of the workers here Mr.Blackburn(is born in Holland but is half Jamaican that's where the English name is from) and I have met so many people in the drug habillitation service but this man is really someone who I can really listen to when we talk about addiction and the pros. and cons. of Heroin and Methadone. He told me about the neurotransmitters and the receptors in the brain! That was a very interesting subject and for any of you fellow users I can e-mail you the things he told me about it ! It is also importand to g ve your body the chance to heal wich is a very good thought when you want to get of the "H" . There is a way to but that way has got a way of thinking , and you can also call it state of mind but it is possible ! Anyway I think that this website of yours s a very good thing and I want to give you my compliments for the good job that you are doing ! Keep up the good work and keep up the good spirit ! Only that counts !!!! Best wishes, Mark Tadjab.

Ron - 11/29/99 09:44:20
My Email:Methaman98@aol.com
How did you find this page?: Looking for new treaments for heroin

Comments:
Do you know of any new treatments for heroin? I read an article that some work was being done in California on a drug that would stop heroin,cocaine and booze. It was one shot per month. Do you know the name of it? I can not find the article. Ron

jo - 11/28/99 23:40:18
My Email:jo@mckinnonsc.vic.edu.au
How did you find this page?: link from ffdlr

Comments:
The 'drug scene' in Australia is changing, and its sad to see our lawmakers having quite a bit of trouble keeping up! Lots of debate, and so little action. Very sad. Unfortunately the old saying that junkies wind up dead or in jail is still proving tru . We buried quite a few of our friends back in the early eighties. I cremated my 18 yr old daughter earlier this year - she died from an OD. An early end to her myriad of problems. The hardest part is watching someone you love killing themselves - I hink that part of heroin's trouble is that it has this tendency to make you forget to breathe! So how does it go? Grant me the serenity..... Thanks for your page, and Good Luck

The Dirty Boys of Dublin - 11/28/99 23:17:04
My URL:http://www.dirtyboys.org/
My Email:Buzzy4859@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: altavista

Comments:
This is a great resource! We're a collective of former street kids (our mean is still just 22) who set up a makeshift home together a few years ago. Until we pulled together we real no-hopers and for most of us hard drugs filled the role of friend, home and food for years. We're still pretty weird, but know that being there for each other was that only thing that finally broke our patterns of addiction and incarceration. Great to see a site with so many down-to-earth information. Wish there was still more opportunity for us to talk with other people like us without the mediation of 'experts' - however well-meaning. But this is important and we're grateful! Thanks!

kim - 11/27/99 07:47:20

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good luck and be happy

- 11/27/99 07:46:14

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Shaa - 11/27/99 03:40:38
My Email:Shaa@nightmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: Excellent - a bit more US info?
How did you find this page?: Thru a mailing list, I think!

Comments:
I think you've done a superb job of covering the salient points. Especially the 'looks' one gets when one says one is on methadone; I was given it for pain, but did have a brush with heroin at the ripe young age of 53. Yep! My life had fallen apart due to - seemingly - psychiatric factors. Husband, home, career - gone. When chiva (I'm from SoCalif. It's called that here!) was offered, I debated for a few days; said yes. Had enough money to finance my indulgence for a few weeks; that was enough as I ad to have an emergency colostomy (ruptured colon from constipation.) Strangely, I wasn't crazy about the rush; I liked the wonderful warm, calm way it made me feel post-rush. I detoxed post surgery; jonesed for a while but that gradually left......98% f the time! I was able to have the colostomy repaired but the pain (which had been horrible even before the rupture) came back. GI docs were useless; my shrink ran out of ideas (I have panic disorder, etc!) after trying virtually every anti-depressant m de; I could tolerate none. Greatly increased anxiety. I called the methadone clinic; was told I didn't qualify becasue I hadn't failed at recovery attempts multiple times, BUT I got lucky. Spoke with a counselor who told me of a pain mgmt specialist wh uses it. I was very open with her about my psych problems; she advised downplaying them with him and focusing on the pain. Well, we've tried this and that; bottom line is simply that a low dose of meth works. Yes, I can get very drowsy....but I'm func ional by & large. And, like you, I find all the rules & regs a big pain! I've never abused the stuff; if anything I underdose, cuz I know if I miss an appt, I'm in deep ...ummmmmm... water! Thank you for your work; an excellent, informative site!

^^Mrs_Tickle - 11/25/99 13:53:40
My Email:mt1198212@hotmail.com

Comments:
this is a very good site :o) - i was very impressed with the information that was on the site - i didnt realise how much that there was to know about this drug - thankyou for givin me that chance to read this and find out this information for my course ^^Mrs_Tickle

- 11/25/99 08:12:05

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Sigbjørn Fjelland - 11/24/99 19:49:07
My Email:Stalin58@hottmail.com
How did you find this page?: Serched in Altavista for Heroin

Comments:
Nice page. its realistic. not like the school stuf that your a sinder if you do drugs. In the question of drugs i'm more a fan of helping addics than punish them and mean that heroin should be legalised for hevy users. the idea of soponsing drugs in helth stations is a good idea then addics would'nt have to prostitute and steal to gett money.

dannystringer - 11/24/99 09:28:49
My Email:dannystringre@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: good luck at gettin of it
How did you find this page?: surfing

Comments:
good luck at gettin of all the drugs you know its what you REALLY want

Richard Gehron - 11/23/99 21:53:14
My Email:rich275@zoomtown.com
How did you find this page?: research

Comments:
thank you for your testamony iam glad your are reciving help good luck in the future

TOM - 11/23/99 11:46:43
My Email:PLJH@MSN.COM
How did you find this page?: TOPIC

Comments:
THANK YOU.

byron - 11/23/99 11:26:12

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jane - 11/23/99 01:18:32
My Email:jane.price@eggconnect.net

Comments:
i felt like i was reading my own life story,i have been using heroin on and off since i was 14 i am now 27 and i am on methadone i have been here before but have used heroin when i have felt depressed and then i am back where i started, but this time i am trying to get my life on track, you are a insperation to me,my next step is i want to start a collage course and try to be some body not just a junkie.You are so right about how drug users are stereo typed, i too have 2 kids and a husband i think people w uld be very shocked if they new the truth about me, they have a idea in there head of what a junkie is and its not me. please mail me if you wish.

Kamila - 11/22/99 17:08:43
Suggestions for the page.: more personal stories
How did you find this page?: lycos

Comments:
I would like to thank oyu for making this page, I right now am going out with a heroin user, he is 18 years old, he has been doing this for the past two years. I've ben with him for six months. He really eants to quit. We tried the methadone treatment (he bought about 90ml's from "his" dealer) well he was off for about a week then one day when he got his pay check he just had the urge to go and buy heroin, only with him he does not use the heroin to get stoned he uses it to feel "normal". After a couple of tries with methodone we decidet to try something else. -to lessen his dependency. we decided that in a period of a couple of weeks he would go from taking two bags a day to eventually nothing and then for him to take methodone for a few days to ease the pain- what I wanted to know is if this method would wok, and if not, why not? since I do not have an e-mail address would you please post your anwser somewhere o your "what's new" page. thank you

shelley - 11/22/99 10:18:44
My Email:elleysha@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: surfed on

Comments:
This page is really good, I am not a herion addict but don't think that herrion addicts should be treated any differently from any other person. If they want help they will ask for it. Well done and keep up the ace site.

Annon - 11/21/99 21:35:38
My Email:neslrac_333@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: Keep up the good work
How did you find this page?: i was serching for information on dgs mainly heroin because I wanted to know more I am not a addict and I hope that I never will have to face the hell of beeing one

Comments:
This is the best page I have found on heroin. Good job. I think you can stop doing heroin and a matter of fact I know you can. Have agood life and may the best of luck be yours - Sameone who cares

A. Johari - 11/21/99 09:00:27
My URL:http://azmi-johari.iwarp.com
My Email:orpheus@aeon.net.au
Relevant URL's: http://azmi-johari.iwarp.com
How did you find this page?: searching for links to add to my site.

Comments:
Reading your story has made me hope that one day , this could also be possible for my partner who is a very big heroin user.I love her very much ,we have tried methadone but I guess she was doing it for me rather than for herself and therefore only lasted a few days.Not to also mention having to see the doctor to get a script every second day was the biggest drawback , especially when the Dr was 40 minutes away.I have lived with this for three years now, have seen her go to prison ,have seen her collapse and put up with er Prostitution to support her habbit.Not knowing where she is or when she'll return home is the biggest stress .I wish it would end. I feel I am alone in this situation but I know thats not true , thats why like yourself I have created my own site.Best w shes ...Regards A. Johari

Percy M. - 11/21/99 05:20:43
My Email:Xezor@worldnet.att.net
Suggestions for the page.: I like it a lot
How did you find this page?: searching for websites about heroin

Comments:
This is the first website that I have found written by an addict, and I like it very much,I'm a heroin addict myself.

Lisa - 11/19/99 02:19:40
My Email:lisa_tru@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: Great.
How did you find this page?: seach

Comments:
I am doing reserch on heroin and I found this site very useful. Thank you. Lisa

Tim Roehrs - 11/17/99 20:35:35
My Email:roehrst@venetian.com
How did you find this page?: msn search

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- 11/17/99 18:22:59

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shanda - 11/17/99 06:07:27
My Email:shandaleir@aol.com
How did you find this page?: search on altavista

Comments:
i visited this site to do some research and gain some insight for a play i am writing. in the play, a young man dies of a heroin od, and his four best friends are left to grapple with the guilt and the grief. one of the themes in the play is about how use s are looked down upon but are in actuality real people, good people, smart people - just like everyone else. i am not a user myself, but the play i am writing was inspired by a friend of mine who died from a heroin od this summer. the personal stories an feedback on stereotyping were particularly useful. best of luck to everyone, and one note, please be careful in your use and think of those who love you and would miss you should a fatal od occur. -shanda

Leilas Ansari - 11/16/99 21:30:58
My Email:ansaril@aol.com

Comments:
i am so sorry you had to go through all this. i am pretty much familiar with all you said becasue i have a lot of loved ones who were or are drug addicts. i have lost an uncle to addiction. my first love was an addict and he's living his life miserable ri ht now. my second boyfriend was also a heroin addict nad so was my brother. i wish you good luck and i think the web page you made is great. best of luck to you. leilas ansari

cc - 11/16/99 18:20:51
How did you find this page?: browsing

Comments:
as a former addict also having lost my boyfriend to heroin i thank you. You have chosen a beautiful way to remember your son. The most important thing , when a life is lost to heroin one must be saved from it. Mine was, and you are spreading the messag . God Bless You.

paula rawlinson. - 11/16/99 13:22:42
How did you find this page?: reseach

Comments:
IAM CURRENTLY IN COLLEGE STUDYING MY SOICAL WORK DEGREE AND ALSO WORKING AT A DRUGS PREVENTION DIRECTORATE.MY BROTHER IS A HEROIN ADDICT AND HAS BEEN FOR 8 YEARS NOW I FEEL SO STRONG IN THE BELIEF THAT USERS ARE TREATED AS THE SCUM OF SOCIETY, PEOPLE IN OUR SAD SOCIETY TREAT USERS AS THOUGH THEY ARE ROBOTS YET BEHIND THE DARK SHADOW OF HEROIN+METHADONE THERE IS ALWAYS A HUMAN BEING OUR GOVERMENT HAS FAILED TO ADDRESS THIS PROBLEM BY INTRODUCING THE GREAT METHADONE PROGRAMME WICH I FEEL IS A KOPOUT AND JUST ANOTHER DOOR TO HIDE BEHIND. GOOD LUCK TO YOU FOR THE FUTRE YOURE WEB SITE IS GREAT.

Alissa - 11/16/99 03:44:18
My URL:http://geocities.datacellar.net/cgi-bin/geoplus_apps/ans_entry
My Email:Dixie210@NetZero.net
How did you find this page?: doing a project for clas

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Alissa - 11/16/99 03:43:38
My URL:http://geocities.datacellar.net/cgi-bin/geoplus_apps/ans_entry

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sean - 11/15/99 17:09:32
My URL:http://209.67.19.99/~Carolyn_mi_unico_amo/CarolynandSean/index.html
My Email:patton169@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: more historical info about opium and heroin
How did you find this page?: searchin for heroin addiction

Comments:
So what were these countries famous of heroin what was the purest heroin country out there? i like my heroin i have stopped int he past without any fuclkin lame ass rehab por without any lame ass methadone i have even done speed balls and stopped by myself its all in ur head addiction is all in ur head i have many reasons for my use i have a stomach problem that docotors wont give me any narcotics for i use to do heroin then the doc gave me percocets to ween off and i only needed 2-3 pills of percocet a day and it worked for my stomach after i been doin heroin for a year i have done heroin on and off for like 3 years now i first started only takin one $20 packet for a week it would get me high for a whole week now after 3 years of stoppin like 3 or 4 times for like a year and for like 4-6 months at a time without REHAb notice without rehab now i do one $20 packet a day after 3 years how come i dont have a high habit? how come i can stop without lame ass rehabs or methadone so what country has the purest heroin? u probably think im crazy but what country does? anyway tell me what u think about my life and how i can stop and all that?? sincerly Sean so any YOU got ideas why i can stop without that lamer ass methadone and without rehab

Tony Trimingham - 11/14/99 19:35:28
My Email:trimmo@tig.com.au
How did you find this page?: surfing

Comments:
Rose, I've just discovered your page - i like it a lot and will be re-visiting often. Would like to use your story in "Hero-insight" with your permission. Our site for family members can be found on www.fds.org.au If I can help in anyway let me know. Tony

M.LEWIS - 11/14/99 01:25:12
My Email:maarty53@Hotmail

Comments:
I WAS PLEASED TO FIND YOUR SITE ; IT IS NOT EASY TO FIND SINCERITY IN THIS WORLD ,HOWEVER I AM DISTURBED TO FIND ' AMAZON COM ' HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR SITE . FOR SOME REASON THEIR PRESENCE RINGS WARNING BELLS IN MY HEAD. SORRY.

Tammie Foltz - 11/13/99 23:31:08
My Email:tamfoltz@aol.com
How did you find this page?: surfing...

Comments:
I'm a methadone patient & have been for the past 4 years. I thought I had read everything on the Internet about MMT, so I was glad to find this. Very informative. Keep up the good work!

just another faceless junkie - 11/12/99 08:45:01
My Email:physical_dependance@yahoo.com
Suggestions for the page.: everything`s good

Comments:
hey.. after reading your story.. I dunno I guess I`ll tell mine...I`m from Sydney Australia and the Heroin problem down here is just getting worse and worse. I`m 19 and I`ve been on the gear now for about 3 years.. I went through years 11 and 12 at school addicted to this shit... sat my HSC on the gear as well... I scored 93.25 for my TER.. I used to be proud of this.. but I just went from being addicted at school, to being addicted at Uni... nothing ever changes. I`m supposed to be studing Economics/Fianc at The University of New South Wales but I haven`t even been near the campus this semester.. just trying to get enough money together to score everyday is more than a full time job... the search is endless 24/7... It`s pretty funny that I`m studying Fian e.. fuck every little dollar goes to feed the habit... thinking about it, I hate what it`s doing to me, I hate everying thing about it but ironically it`s the only source of joy in my life...( the true words of a junkie huh? ) When you think you can`t get any lower it just drags you further and further away from what you were... what you were is now what you aspire to be.. as you walk thru the streets you look at people, wishing and praying that maybe oneday you might be like them again.... "normal".. the ings under your eyes seem to get darker and your face seems to get paler everyday... you no longer want to look in the mirror cause you`re afraid of what you`ll see... the story goes on and on and on... anyway if anyone out there is trying to quit... here`s something someone told me.... when you really want to use, tell yourself "tomorrow", then the next day do it again and again... just take it one day at a time... sounds pretty stupid I know but hey w o knows...? it might work

Georgie - 11/12/99 03:34:30
My Email:www.dmacfarlane@hotlinks.net.au
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: yahoo

Comments:
Reading through your story, it became apperent that your is your fear of depression is controlled by your addiction to herione and methadone. Having suffered from depression all my life, and have been an herion addict for the same reasons as youself, I've been taking various anti-despressants for several years including Prozac and have been on a methadone programme. What I'm trying to say is that I understand you through experience however I cant help wondering if you have tried other anti-despressants oth r than Prozac. I found Prozac to be useless and would sent me into fits of rage but I would much rather go through the trial by error process of finding the right anti-despressant than being tied to the chemist and having to go though that daily public di play of taking methadone. It seems that your biggest problem now is getting to the chemist on time every day. You are doing all of this rather than confronting depression.(which is not an easy task by any means) I've tried so many ways to run away from my own despression but they have only resulted in destruction, especially herion. I also find it unusual that you see a councellor when you have been classified as manic despressive. Shouldn't you be seeing a qualified shrink. Despression is something that has to be confronted head on and not necessarily by yourself as running away from it has so many consequences.

Meghann - 11/12/99 02:06:57
My Email:cat260@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: i looked up heroin and found this.

Comments:
I think this is an exelint sight. it is very moving. you wuld hafto have alot of guts to do what you did and are doing.

sattar - 11/11/99 18:31:26
My Email:sattarmemon@yahoo.com
Suggestions for the page.: make easy search for us
How did you find this page?: good

Comments:
this is a main problem for thirld world and heroin addiction spreading like a pandemic.

Michael Wynne - 11/11/99 17:57:50
My Email:wynnemichael@netscape.net
Suggestions for the page.: maybe a forum?
How did you find this page?: SNAP

Comments:
It's so refreshing to talk about addiction. I'm in college at the moment and no-one knows that I am an addict!!!!! I started taking methadone last week. I get 30ml per day. This is the first time for me so really I haven't got a clue. I feel so alone with it all. Any suggestions? I've just come out of re-hab for another addiction......alcolhol. I really thought that I had it sorted. The rehab gave me all the 'tools' to use to cope through stressful situations and I worked on such a lot of issues in there. I was raised in the British care system and went through all the abuse and stuff that seemed the norm at the time. knew I hadn't really dealt with it all. I moved into a 'dry house' in Woking, Surrey and that kept me safe. I started going to local N.A. meetings. Met some lovely people. Started college. Started living again. Started hoping...........became complacent. .....missed meetings......thought they were all a little weird.........got talking to a Herion user in College.......That wasn't MY problem....I'm addicted to alcolhol aren't I?...........NOT HERION.......am i?.......took some.....only abit......and I smo ed it.......felt great.......didn't I?........had a dig.........then another.........lose two stone in weight. People started to notice that I was different. They were all drinkers they had never experienced class A. I kidded them......and myself......sto ped......NIGHTMARE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!!!!!!!!!! took some to feel better.....then some more. I was in a crack house in Brixton two weeks ago, y'know the kind of place....lovely company and surroundings. My mobile rang (I hadn't sold it yet!!) it was my artner. She really thought I was doing well in college and all that. We were meant to be getting married. She was really happy. I told her....I had to. We met and we cried. I went cold turkey for three days and now I'm on a meth script. It's hard man. But I'm eating now, getting stronger........one day at a time eh? Thanks Keep strong Respect Michael (wynnemichael@netscape.net)

Michael Wynne - 11/11/99 17:28:26
My Email:wynnemichael@netscape.net
Suggestions for the page.: maybe a forum?
How did you find this page?: SNAP

Comments:
It's so refreshing to talk about addiction. I'm in college at the moment and no-one knows that I am an addict!!!!! I started taking methadone last week. I get 30ml per day. This is the first time for me so really I haven't got a clue. I feel so alone with it all. Any suggestions? Keep strong Respect Michael (wynnemichael@netscape.net)

Michael Wynne - 11/11/99 17:27:39
My Email:wynnemichael@netscape.net
Suggestions for the page.: maybe a forum?
How did you find this page?: SNAP

Comments:
It's so refreshing to talk about addiction. I'm in college at the moment and no-one knows that I am an addict!!!!! I started taking methadone last week. I get 30ml per day. This is the first time for me so really I haven't got a clue. I feel so alone with it all. Any suggestions? Keep strong Respect Michael

kristi - 11/10/99 12:58:45
My Email:kristi1
Suggestions for the page.: none as yet
How did you find this page?: browsed

Comments:
I am a recovering herion user, clean 9 years which is a miracle from whence I came. Having urges today and looked for a chat room, however, I am a new owner of my first computer and I am not really sure what I am doing and came across your web site, enjo ed reading your story and pleased to hear that if you are not totally abstinent from all substances, this does not make you a loser or failure. I personally have drank socially starting two years ago, I am careful about the amount I drink and how often, which is not too often , I know I had a beer two weeks ago and before again in July. Don't have all the answers but I am fortunate that I no longer wake up and feel sick or have to use to get straight, happy for you and your life and mine is pretty good o. I have much to be grateful for thanks kristi

betsy - 11/10/99 01:28:37
My Email:oxfordchamber@brandywine.net
How did you find this page?: research

Comments:
I'm writing a story for a newspaper on heroin. It has been quite an education. I will have to read what I have printed out and then I'm sure I will have questions. Mostly I would just like to say I think you are courageous to tell your story. It helps eve yone, those addicted those not. Thank you for sharing. I hope your life is blessed.

- 11/09/99 21:23:36

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michelle - 11/09/99 21:12:36
Suggestions for the page.: include poetry,artwork,etc. of other addicts
How did you find this page?: searching for an honest dope page

Comments:
i have been using heoin for a lil' aver a year.only my closest friends know.addiction is such a shameful thing. there is an under world of complex sovereinty.i looked down on injecting junkies until it became an acceptable passtime for myself my holier th n thou hautiness evaporated when i sold my body for dope. the degredation i felt for sucking some perverts peepee was not to big of a sacrifice to dope .i am attempting to quit dope now before my youth evaporates, before my family figures me out and disow s me.reading about your struggle has helped me put a few things into perspective. thanx a lot for sharing. i wish you luck.....

michelle - 11/09/99 21:12:25
Suggestions for the page.: include poetry,artwork,etc. of other addicts
How did you find this page?: searching for an honest dope page

Comments:
i have been using heoin for a lil' aver a year.only my closest friends know.addiction is such a shameful thing. there is an under world of complex sovereinty.i looked down on injecting junkies until it became an acceptable passtime for myself my holier th n thou hautiness evaporated when i sold my body for dope. the degredation i felt for sucking some perverts peepee was not to big of a sacrifice to dope .i am attempting to quit dope now before my youth evaporates, before my family figures me out and disow s me.reading about your struggle has helped me put a few things into perspective. thanx a lot for sharing. i wish you luck.....

michelle - 11/09/99 20:48:02

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jsa - 11/09/99 06:51:25
My Email:jadwar@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: heroin addiction

Comments:
I found out (last week) that my little sister is addicted to heroin. She is currently going to rehab, but doesn't think that she'll be able to make it after she is finished with it. I want to be supportive of her and help her, but I just don't have any dea what I can do. Everyone in my family has pretty much written her off. They don't want to see her or have anything to do with her and it is killing me. She is only 20 years old - still a baby. If anyone has any suggestions for me, please e-mail me. I'd appreciate anything. Thank you.

Bec - 11/09/99 01:55:42
My Email:red_rulz@yahoo.com
How did you find this page?: Informative

Comments:
Your page is very well written and I admire your courage for making it so personal. Many people wouldn't dream of letting the world know of their 'frowned upon' adiction. Congratulations on a great, informative page. I am using some of your information fo a SACE Stage 1 English argumentative essay, "Heroin use should be legalised." The info I have extracted from this site will help heaps for my research into the matter of heroin use. Bec, Adelaide SA

Bec - 11/09/99 01:55:25
My Email:red_rulz@yahoo.com
How did you find this page?: Informative

Comments:
Your page is very well written and I admire your courage for making it so personal. Many people wouldn't dream of letting the world know of their 'frowned upon' adiction. Congratulations on a great, informative page. I am using some of your information fo a SACE Stage 1 English argumentative essay, "Heroin use should be legalised." The info I have extracted from this site will help heaps for my research into the matter of heroin use. Bec, Adelaide SA

Marian - 11/08/99 18:59:56
My Email:mariantx@usa.com
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: browsing

Comments:
I just read Nick Stafford's paper on Methadone. I laughed so hard it made my lunch house great. Nick, what colour is the sky on your planet? I mean you are living in dreamland. I mean I am a currently clean junkie and I understand I am breaking the la every time I score. I accept this as part of the risk of taking drugs. Risk exists on every level of life. I have been exceptionally lucky (or maybe intelligent) because I have never been to jail much less the joint. I come from Texas, the most mediev l state in the U.S.A. Possession can get you 10 years in prison. Nick, it sure would be great if I could chat to my methadone counseller and figure out what combination of heroin, pill & 'done will be the most fun for me. But it ain't gonna happen, man. I accept myself as a dope fiend, but society doesn't owe me a goddam thing for this deal. I got myself into it, I have to take the consequences. This last episode of addiction had me pawning my jewelry and sweating out my bills, being ripped off by other junkies & connections,etc. I mean it's always out there waiting for me. This time I went to my shrink and got some codeine pills & Xanax and ki ked all by myself. Methadone clinics suck around here. I chose not to be subject to their fucked-up regulations. Today, at least, I am free.

Zein - 11/08/99 10:05:08
My Email:zein_nahas@hotmail.com

Comments:
I ALSO USED TO BE A HEROIN ADDICT. AND IT FEELS GOOD TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE TO SUFFER.THANK YOU

jack momter - 11/07/99 22:04:04
How did you find this page?: I looked up HEROIN

Comments:
it is a wonderful page

John - 11/06/99 23:53:48
My Email:jgrimm_1@yahoo.com
How did you find this page?: altavista search

Comments:
I know I already 'signed your guest book'. I don't mean to stuff your mailbox full of redundant messages. I just wanted to thank you again. I have bean searching for a while and keep coming back to your site. I feel like I have no one to talk to about my rustrations. And here is a site full of useful information, and someone who is willing (I think) to bend an ear. The area where I currently reside has just recently become aware of its growing heroin problem. This cummunity would prefer to just somehow pu its heroin users somewhere else. I am currently finishing my masters degree, and I really want to be free of this addiction. I feel that I have no real support here. Yes, there are detox houses, and a few sympathetic doctors (whom I have not yet found). But the folks at the detox house a e downright mean. It is scary and demeaning at that place. I can't do it. I have been trying to kick at home, and I feel pretty worthless because I have not yet been successful. My next plan is to try to slowly reduce the dosage. But I already know that ts pretty tough; its too easy to elimiate the pain and discomfort. Plus, while I'm trying to kick, and I'm sure you have experienced this, I feel scared, lonely, some weird uncomfortable emotional state that I can't drum up a word for. My point (because I m really trying not to babble here) is that running accross your site has made me feel a little better. So, thanks again for sharing your experiences and putting this site up. John

John Grimm - 11/06/99 22:47:55
My Email:jgrimm_1@yahoo.com
How did you find this page?: altavista search

Comments:
Just a big "thankyou" from me. I've been trying to kick, and am still trying. I'm currently living in a small town with no methadone clinics and a bunch of backward doctors. I have searched for "kick kits" and have been prescibed trazadone and other antid pressants. They make me feel so weird that I immediately go back to heroin. I am just really frustrasted because I can't seem to quit on my own. I feel weak and worthless. Ive lost my girlfriend and other friends over this, because they are repulsed. Did 't mean to go on like this, but thank you for doing what you are doing. It really helps to see your perspective and experiences.

- 11/05/99 19:31:33

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ulli - 11/05/99 05:12:24
My Email:oogie22@hotmail.com

Comments:
I actually have a question - I am currently writting my thesis and am looking for any information that may help. My hypothesis is : Heroin addicts have a long history of severe emotional and situational probelms. I am having trouble finding resources, if you have any idea where I might find some info. regarding this topic, I would be very muc obliged. Thank you. Ulli Schuhmacher

VERE PATTERSON - 11/05/99 02:14:19
My Email:VERE@OPTUSNET.COM .AU
How did you find this page?: SEARCH FOR INFO

Comments:
I AM HAPPY TO SEE THAT OTHERS BELIEVE THIS GREAT LIE MUST STOP - FOR TOO LONG THE AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN USING THESE TACTICS TO KEEP THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE OF WHAT THEY ARE REALLY DOING WITH THIS CRIMINAL WAR ON PEOPLE WHO ASIDE FROM SMOKING SOME HERBS OR "USING" ARE NORMAL HONEST HUMAN BEINGS WHO DO RATE HAVING THEIR RIGHTS THROWN AWAY JUST BECAUSE AUSTRALIA IS SO CAUGHT UP IN AMERICAN POLITICS GOOD LUCK

VERE PATTERSON - 11/05/99 02:06:45
My Email:VERE@OPTUSNET.AU
How did you find this page?: SEARCH FOR INFO

Comments:
I AM HAPPY TO SEE THAT OTHERS BELIEVE THIS GREAT LIE MUST STOP - FOR TOO LONG THE AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN USING THESE TACTICS TO KEEP THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE OF WHAT THEY ARE REALLY DOING WITH THIS CRIMINAL WAR ON PEOPLE WHO ASIDE FROM SMOKING SOME HERBS OR "USING" ARE NORMAL HONEST HUMAN BEINGS WHO DO RATE HAVING THEIR RIGHTS THROWN AWAY JUST BECAUSE AUSTRALIA IS SO CAUGHT UP IN AMERICAN POLITICS GOOD LUCK

Julie - 11/04/99 22:42:38

Comments:
Just wanted to say hi and keep up the good work. It's rough,but I've got almost a month clean now, and my court dates and stuff are going pretty well, Hey, I almost feel normal again.

Karen - 11/04/99 13:36:14
How did you find this page?: search under methadone

Comments:
Thank you. I am in the process of what seems like a fruitless task searching for positive information. Something useful in a minefield of misleading and prejudiced info. my baby brother has been an addict for nearly 4 years and it is is destroying the soul of my fam ly. I know we are not alone but it is easy to feel that way. Good luck to everyone, and send me some luck.

amie - 11/03/99 03:43:54
My Email:pochay@flash.net
How did you find this page?: search on heroin

Comments:
i lost my (18-year-old) baby brother to overdose 5 weeks ago. our family is destroyed, youngest brother so angry, mom is suicidal. i was reading part one of your story and i have a sick, scared feeling in the pit of my stomach. i don't condemn anyone for heir choices, i just want to encourage those with holes in their souls to keep searching. my husband is manic-depressive, i am severely depressed at times. you have to keep going until you find a medication that works for you. it's a brain chemical imbala ce,genetic, not your fault. the difference between medications and self-medicating(with any kind of drug) is that you are "normal" not high, in a sustainable way. no more ups and downs, no crashes, just coping. i'm sorry if i ramble, it helps to get it ou . my brother was my soul twin, he left a huge hole, there is no god. anyone welcome to respond, i'm searching for a grief support group, amie

- 11/02/99 17:37:03

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jerry liu - 11/02/99 03:56:38
My Email:sjtruaznbrotha@email.com
Suggestions for the page.: tell more stories about heroin
How did you find this page?: dogpile

Comments:
i think heroin is a really addictive drug. Can you give more 411 for people like me that are doing research on the drug?????????

Craig - 11/02/99 01:00:08
My Email:co_mara@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: its a-ok as is
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
You are an example of courage and yeah. Ummm i really enjoyed the site i reckon its quite informative and all. Good luck. Just wondering also how the methadone treatment is going because i'm doing a school assignment on treatment for heroin addictions. Ye h so thanks

Lilli - 10/30/99 23:42:53
My Email:lillilouise@iname.com

Comments:
I made an entry to this guestbook a while back and now it's time for me to try to kick off this junk. So Monday I'm going to go cold and deal with the sickness and pain. Maybe I can go home and try to rebuild my relationship with my parents. I can only try. I want to thank Rose for writing me and giving me some advice. And I reached out to 3 moms from the guestbook, Catherine, Seraphina, and Melanie. Thank you so much for your support and advice. It might not work out with me and my parents but I'm going o try my best. I can't repay you for listening to me but I can promise you I'm going to try my best on Monday and for the rest of my life. You all gave me something my own mom wouldn't or couldn't, you listened to me and tried to help. I owe you all my ife. Your kids are very lucky to have you in their lives. Maybe someday I can help an addict see the light like you all helped me. If anyone out there is just starting out on heroin or thinking about it please don't try it. I can tell you it will lead to nothing but pain. Love, Lilli

Lilli - 10/30/99 23:42:38
My Email:lillilouise@iname.com

Comments:
I made an entry to this guestbook a while back and now it's time for me to try to kick off this junk. So Monday I'm going to go cold and deal with the sickness and pain. Maybe I can go home and try to rebuild my relationship with my parents. I can only try. I want to thank Rose for writing me and giving me some advice. And I reached out to 3 moms from the guestbook, Catherine, Seraphina, and Melanie. Thank you so much for your support and advice. It might not work out with me and my parents but I'm going o try my best. I can't repay you for listening to me but I can promise you I'm going to try my best on Monday and for the rest of my life. You all gave me something my own mom wouldn't or couldn't, you listened to me and tried to help. I owe you all my ife. Your kids are very lucky to have you in their lives. Maybe someday I can help an addict see the light like you all helped me. If anyone out there is just starting out on heroin or thinking about it please don't try it. I can tell you it will lead to nothing but pain. Love, Lilli

LAUREN CHAPMAN - 10/30/99 03:06:00
My Email:LQQK AT L
Suggestions for the page.: nada
How did you find this page?: have a report

Comments:
I THINK THIS ENTIRE PAGE IS AWSOME AND I FOUND IT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS REPORT DUE IN HEALTH CLASS. IM A FRESHME AT DURANGO HIGH SCHOOL IN LAS VEGAS NEVADA. THIS ENTIRE COLUMN TELLS HOW YOU FEEL PERSONALLY ABOUT YOUR PAST ADDICTION. I JUST THINK WHAT YOUR D ING IS AWSOME AND YOUR LETTING EVERY BODY KNOW THAT HEROIN IS NOT THE DRUG TO BE MESSING WITH. OR ANY OTHER DRUG. I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING . INFACT IM ACTUALLY PRINTING YOUR STORY OUT RIGHT NOW AND IM GOING TO READ THIS TO MY CLA S ROOM SO ..... WRITE YOU LATER!

Linda - 10/29/99 04:52:49
My Email:spice@encode.com
How did you find this page?: Methadone

Comments:
My husband is on methadone. While on methadone he was in a car accident. He broke his back and is in severve pain. The doctor he sees for methedone maintance says he can not prescibe any other pain meds. Any suggestions??

Owen Harper - 10/28/99 21:51:50
My Email:Owen01610@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: Search engine

Comments:
I find your page.... resoureful. Thank you for speaking out when few of us do. I'd love to chat with you sometime.

- 10/28/99 07:10:29

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J.A. - 10/27/99 18:23:28

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Everyone close to me knows the shame of what I use to be, a "junkie". But what they don't know is the truth. That I still am and most likely will always be. They don't want it talked about. It is a part of my past (in their minds). I dont know anyone else who uses, and that is good for me because it keeps my use to a minimum. But I do wish that there was someone that I could talk to about it. I feel as though I need to talk about it. I wish that there was something that I could d , something that I could take (other than H) to feel normal and a sense of belonging in this crazy world. San Diego, California - USA

- 10/27/99 17:16:03

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- 10/26/99 21:16:44

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- 10/26/99 21:16:03

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Taylor - 10/26/99 20:00:04
My Email:ccontend27@aol.com
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
I am interested in your web site, because I am an ex-heroin addict myself and also battle depression. Opiates do seem like the best medication for depression, but in my case I do not want the habit that comes along with it. I have tried to rough it out a d it works for a certain time and then the cravings will come back. One thing that has helped me stay clean is finding hobbies or sports and the right people to hang out with. I agree with you though and wish you the best luck. I am from Florida in the U.S.

Julie - 10/25/99 18:13:55
My URL:http://yahoo.com
My Email:melanie@inil.com
How did you find this page?: mom

Comments:
I am 18 years old and I am a heroin addict. I have tried every single kind of treatment possible and nothing ever worked until I just got sick of living that junkie lifestyle. I am currently on naltrexone, which I think is better than Meth. I have been clean for about two weeks, which isn't much, but seems like forever when you've relapsed as many times as I have. My mom found your website one day when I was out on the streets again, she was looking for support and a way to understand this ugly addicti n I have. I think its great and you should continue with it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out here. I think its a bunch of crap when people say they have compltely forgotten about heroin once they quit. It gets a little easier day by day, bu I still think about it EVERY day, and whenever something or some one hurts my feelings I think about how I could just float away into that place where no one or their words could ever hurt me, but then I stop and think what a lonely, cold place that alwa s turns out to be, and every time I go back there I almost end up dead. So my advice is to anyone who is trying to quit, DON'T fool yourself into thinking you'll never ever go back, because when you lie to yourself about it, it just brings you further do n the road, I just take it one day at a time, and I NEVER say I'll never do it again, I just say I quit for right now, and theres always a possibility that I could relapse, this way, I'm not lying to myself or any one around me. AND the absolute worst po sible thing!--- Once you've been clean and you happen to pass by one of your old buddies, don't shun them away and act like your better, because remember, you too, were once in their shoes, if not worse, and to have some one act that way towards you, beli ve me, is the worst possible feeling that I have ever experienced while I was out there bad.

- 10/25/99 16:47:35

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- 10/25/99 16:36:56
How did you find this page?: Interesting

Comments:
i was a heroin addict for three years.I also used to take all kind of drugs.I live in Lebanon and it is very easy to find ,to deal and to get good stuff at a low price...my boyfriend died of an overdose.now I am drug free (after spending 2 months in a des ntoxication center and a year at a rehabilitation center).too much time wasted... well,keep up with the good work...

zein nahas - 10/25/99 15:51:05
My Email:zein_nahas@hotmail.com

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Paul - 10/24/99 16:43:29
Suggestions for the page.: great job
How did you find this page?: search

Comments:
Thanks, I was on maint, for 3 years and I am now clean Methadone saved my life, and I am greatful, we need to tell our government that we need these programs, and that they should be free for everyone, to take advantage of, keep up the good work, and nice site Paul

joy - 10/23/99 11:07:53
My Email:joybell@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: web search entered heroin treatment

Comments:
page is interesting noted comments on info to save lives maybe you could have relevant info together for visitors to click, or is it assumed that all of the pages could help save lives thanks for caring about others. congratulations on your efforts of recovery kind regards Joy

Renade Young - 10/22/99 14:11:05
My Email:Renade@1hotmail

Comments:
I enjoy this vety much. Keep it up!!!!

J - 10/21/99 20:52:48
How did you find this page?: Not relevant

Comments:
To anyone who is detoxing, If you have been using for a long time, like for months or years, it is going to take a very long time before you start to feel the way you did before you started using -"normal". I was on it for 4 years and it took me almost a year of being clean to start feeling good about life. I wanted to live without it and at the same time I didnt want to live without it. I have heard that only 3% of recovered addicts stay clean. That sounds acurate to me. I have been basically been a good girl but whenever I see movies like Gia or Trainspotting it turns me into a bad girl for a few days. Even when I watch the news and they talk about vaccinations and then they show someone getting a shot, I salivate and then I am out of touch for a few days. Venice, California

J.A. - 10/21/99 20:09:27

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Sorry, I have nothing to say. I just wanted to sign the book.

- 10/21/99 14:13:17

Comments:
keep it up

- 10/20/99 18:08:28
My URL:http://www.preventionservices.org
My Email:mail@preventionservices.org
How did you find this page?: search for heroin info

Comments:


Marianne - 10/20/99 07:17:07
My Email:mez_dcoat@hotmail
Suggestions for the page.: None
How did you find this page?: Surfing

Comments:
Just wanted to say Thank God, I found a site that doesn't hang shit on drug users. I have been a heroin user for over 10 years, I would love to get this shit out of my life, but I sometimes feel that I have gone too far. It is like I just dont care. Basically I just wanted to say keep up the good work. People need to hear some positives about drug users. Not all users are scum bags. I work in a professional career, no-one knows of my bad habits, & I am treated just like anybody else. My only proble at the moment is financial, due to the prohibitive cost of my preferred substance. There does need to be a new approach to the drug problems facing society today. Becuase there are more & more & more & more & more users each day.

- 10/19/99 12:59:28

Comments:


Chris F. - 10/18/99 19:50:51
My Email:cforman@efn.org
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: surfing-heroin abuse

Comments:
This is a pretty cool web-page!! Thanks for taking the time. I especially liked the "www-links". Help spread the word:" methadone saves lives!" Thanks, Chris F. (Eugene, Or.1999)

- 10/16/99 13:04:53

Comments:


Leah Dillard - 10/15/99 19:10:12
My Email:dillardleah@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: More infomation about what it feels like to go through withdrawals and on drugs. Pictures
How did you find this page?: Looking for information on heroin

Comments:
This is the best, well organized page I have seen on drugs, (heroin in particular.) I am doing a study on withdrawaling from Heroin and I hope to work in a rehabilitation center. I am trying to write a speech on how drugs start off high but then go down ard, like a spiraling affect. Almost like what it says in Colossian, in the bible....Sin is a spiraling affect it starts off high, fast and fun and then before you know it you are trapped and you keep going downward, I guess at the end is death. Unless y u decide to stop doing it. Well, thanks for the page it was very well done

john - 10/15/99 04:36:07
My Email:not sure
Suggestions for the page.: scrap start again
How did you find this page?: easily

Comments:
this could be better ]

- 10/15/99 04:35:08

Comments:


L.McCandless - 10/15/99 00:12:04
My Email:lmccand1@nycap.rr.com
How did you find this page?: search

Comments:


Me - 10/14/99 01:43:51
How did you find this page?: It was good

Comments:
I hope you get the booklet back online, because I once printed it out for when I thought I would need it, then I lost it and now I am going through severe withdrawal, I was depending on it. I would buy a copy, but by the time I receive it I will probably e prety much over the withdrawals (if I haven't slipped back into using). It was a very valuable piece of info. thanks (even though I can't get to it now)
Jamie Rowe - 10/12/99 16:46:20
How did you find this page?: looking

Comments:
I think you a strong woman. Hope have a wonderful life. I have tried herion. I was on it for 3 months. After the 3 months of being on it, I had relized that I was becoming adicted. So I went out and got help. From reading your story, I now know that I w s not the only person who has had a problem with herion. I just want to thank you for allowing people like me have a chance to read your story. Thanks alot!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiffeny Buck - 10/11/99 15:20:52
My Email:tiffenyb@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: looking for info for class project

Comments:


- 10/11/99 08:36:37

Comments:


Evi Watson - 10/10/99 22:23:17
My Email:inteliz@usa.net
Suggestions for the page.: keep it up!
How did you find this page?: you'll figure it out...!

Comments:
Well...I need your H E L P. My son is just starting out on heroin and i am terrified and also In Need of Advice on how to help him before it's too late. Things that you now Know would have helped you out in the early stages of your addiction. Please it's important. Note: my boy is 20, very stubborn, a talented musician and a very sensitive person. Does not prefer to engage in social activities and has been out of a long relationship with an older woman he says he loves still, 9 months now. Thank you for your time. Evi Hasapidou Watson - Athens, Greece.

- 10/10/99 16:34:00

Comments:


thom garlick - 10/09/99 14:44:51
My Email:blewaway@netzero.net
Suggestions for the page.: no more methadone,more new alternative medications more powerful higher success rate
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
i am truly sorry to hear that you are on methadone. i wanted to tell you about a new drug that saved my life and many others. and i didnt even have to go through terrible withdrawl. also its not horribly scarring and damaging as methadone. methadone is a age in which the user never gets a chance to have their life back.very primative like methadone is a punishment for being a dope fiend. this new and amazing drug is called buprenorphine/naloxone. doctors will be able to prescribe it very soon and you can afely and comfortably switch from methadone to the bupe. my life is amazing as far as being off drugs goes. i mean we all have issues daily life,i mean why did we pick-up in the first place. so dont promote the lifeless existence called methadone. please! there are much safer and just generally newer drugs out. i mean methadone was created in the 40`s its like the constitution of methods! its time to rewrite it i dont want to see anymore people start that awful garbage its actually been proven that heroin s better for you than methadone. methadone ruins you mentally,physically.being on it your not clean or alive your just living in a controlled junkie enviorment.instead of the corner the pharmacy instead of a needle a dixie cup. i mean you get the point. l ts focus on the new the better, cause theres alot of sickness out there lets not keep contibuting to it. i would like to see more people instead of the methadone exsistence they actually return to life! happy and cured. like me and the many others. i live in philadelphia and the new treatment is being taken given prescribed and was developed at the university of pennsylvania u of penn.thanks! p.s.never be ashamed of or deny what you are...and never ever pity yourself... feeling sorry for ourselves is nonse se like methadone.. take care. thom garlick, 24

dave h.winfield - 10/09/99 02:42:13
My URL:http://its in aol hometown
My Email:trident162@aol.com
Suggestions for the page.: more realistic
Relevant URL's: theres a lot of ,em
How did you find this page?: a link

Comments:
be,ing an addict dose,nt mean we are bad people,granted however i suppose addicts are arrested more than the general population,but thats not because they are addicts its because they are criminals.i have ben on the same program for 12 yeres now.and i hav no criminal record. if we could all get togather we could controll our programs to the extent of not haveing to pay 50$a week.think about it!!!.

Susan Rigby - 10/08/99 16:28:35
My Email:susan.rigby@atcmhmr.com
How did you find this page?: surfing the net

Comments:
I am a recovering heroin addict. I've been clean for 12 years now. There is life beyond Methadone for some people. After years of study I have found there are some people who will always have to be on methadone or Orlaam because they have a chemical inb lance and they will never produce the chemical that makes them feel normal. I really believe used properly Methadone is a wonder drug for opiate addicts. It's too bad the Federal Gov. has so much power to intervene and tell the clinic's what to do. I w rk at a clinic in Texas and I look for feedback on treatment issues that come from the consumers point of view. Of course I can relate with a lot of the issues due to my own past experience. I never forget where I come from. This helps me really underst nd the struggle consumers have getting clean and other related issues from using. There is a need for more recovering addicts in the field to work in Methadone so the issues some do not understand will be understood by someone on a treatment team. So, Y u'all look into becoming a counselor in Medthadone!! We need ya! Thanks for your time and this is a great site! Texas Sue!

Gilles Beauregard - 10/08/99 02:02:56
My URL:http://cam.org/~spectre
My Email:spectre@cam.org
How did you find this page?: just research

Comments:
I, my name is Gilles Beauregard from Montréal, Canada. I appreciated your site. If you can, call me back. I will be very happy if you give to my some information about Australia. I'm a director of needle exchange site.

MELANIE WOLTHUSEN - 10/07/99 19:22:31
My Email:MELANIE@INIL.COM
How did you find this page?: BROWSING FOR HELP

Comments:
MY DAUGHTER (JUST TURNED 18) IS A HEROIN ADDDICT. SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH 3 RE-HAB PROGRAMS IN 3 MONTHS AND IS STILL USING. SHE IS INSISTING THAT I BRING HER FOR METHADONE, WHICH HAS BEEN STRONGLY RECOMMENDED THAT I DO NOT DO, AS IT IS BELIEVED IT IS TRADIN ONE ADDICTION FOR ANOTHER. WE HAVE THE DOUBLE DILEMNA OF BEING OVER $20,000 IN DEBT BECAUSE OF THE LAST FOUR MONTHS OF HELL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH. IF YOU HAVE ANY INPUT, PLEASE FORWARD. JULIE HAS ALREADY BECOME AN INSULIN DEPENDANT DIABETIC AS A RESULT F HER USEAGE. SHE HAS OVERDOSED ONCE (FLAT-LINED) YET SHE STILL CAN NOT STOP USING. WE ARE DESPERATE.

MARTY - 10/06/99 19:36:09
My Email:marty1967@excite.com
How did you find this page?: very intellectual

Comments:
Boy, this was the first time I visited this site. I really found much of what you said true for myself. I have been on methadone maintenance for a little over 2 years this time, i was on once before, 4 years ago only for about 6 months, then subsequently theraputically discharged with a 28 day detox for continued heroin and cocain use. I, too, tried hospital type detoxes successfully and unsuccessfully as far as being able to stay clean. Also I have been in numerous longer "rehabilitation" facilities. was never able to stay clean of drugs for any amount of time. In between the first time and this time on methadone, I tried a detox and rehab one last time. I stayed the full detox, 6 days, then went to a 28 day rehab, and completed that successfully. I used heroin the 2nd day after I got out. This time, I stopped using any drugs after about 4 weeks on the program. During my first 6 - 8 months on the program after I got clean initially, I used drugs less than half a dozen times total. The last time used ANY opiate, or non opiate mood altering drugs (other than methadone of course) has been about 15 months. Needless to say i am very pleased that i have been able to stay "clean", and as you mentioned many times in your page, have experienced all th benefits of not having to worry about money for heroin, mini-detoxes, being sick, and all the other bullshit that goes with active heroin addiction. All the areas of my life have changed for the better, work, money, social friendships, self esteem, spir tuallity, well you know, just everything changed for me. I too am thankful, and grateful for a thing called Methadone Maintenance. And really except for the usual gripes with my clinic, I owe my life to the clinic, and people who have helped me to get his far. I have 5 take homes per week now, and i only have one group per month, no other counseling, unless i request it. So, like you, I have done exceptionally well on methadone maintenance. I also have the same feelings as you, in that sometimes I w nder how much further along am i from where I started. i am still dependent on opiates, the same as when I walked through the clinic door for the first time. Physically, I may be. But as you noted, psychologically, mentally, spiritually, i am much much urther down the pike then when I started maintenance. I feel that now i am ready for a slow decrease of my methadone, and hope that one day will not be methadone dependent. I was at 100 mg for almost 22 months. In the last short 4 or 5 months, I am now at less than half of my original dose. i have been decreasing 5 mg every other week, until I got to 50mg. Then I go down 10% of my dose every other week. Right now I am at 45mg, and doing great. I have no withdrawal effects, and feel no different than did at 100. About the only slight difference is that I don't feel quite as tired all the time as I used to. But by no means am I not able to sleep or anything like that. So, i feel that I am on my way, and one day will be free from methadone maintenan e. Anyway, I really enjoyed your page, and found it very interesting. I would love to keep in contact with you, so if you would like, i would love to talk to you again. Please e mail me at marty1967@excite.com

susie A - 10/06/99 11:54:05
My Email:suse5@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: more info on why people become addicted to heroin I'm doing a study on the drug's links with mental illness can you help?
How did you find this page?: msn search

Comments:


Anonymous - 10/05/99 22:32:00

Comments:
Nick Stafford's comments made me sick. "I want the right to live as an opiate fiend, some kind of repressed subculture" my backside. Smack is an evil substance that robs people of their lives, health and families. Pure and simple. "Give us opiates for fre that way we won't rob you or toss our needles into your kid's sand pit" is a threat. And should be treated as such. Junkies, sadly to say, lose their humanity and become vermin chasing that score. And should be treated as such. Forever. Noone ever leaves it totally. How many people have you seen that are clean for years, when suddenly, they have a bad day or whatever a d the next thing BANG they're back to shooting up all the time. In addition to spreading AIDS and robbing and miserifying people's lives (uncontent with ruining their own) they're now asking us to accept their "alternative lifestyle"? I support anyone who's trying to quit. But "show me how to just do it on weekends" or "why not just give me smack for free, and a clean place to do it" is garbage. They opened a needle place explicitly for that near where I used to live. It's now covered n HIV and Hep C syringes for kids to fall on or step on. It's also encouraged drug use and crime. Just like we all said it would.

megan - 10/05/99 00:09:03
My Email:jasmine.smith@hotmail.au
Suggestions for the page.: beautiful

Comments:
we thoughtt you were a guy

PAUL JENSEN - 10/04/99 06:40:33
My Email:PJ400@AOL
Suggestions for the page.: NONE AT THIS TIME

Comments:
Already e mailed you, want to compliment you on your website. I look forward to visiting this site often. My wife and I have both been clean for 4 years and have each detoxed down to 1 and 4 mgs(she is at 1 & I am at 4) we have gone very slow as to try an not feel to much discomfort. The symptoms have really intensified at these low doses though. If you or anyone have been through this before and have any information or encouragement please e mail me at PJ400@AOL Also if I can be of help to anyone please reply also, God Bless

- 10/02/99 21:08:28

Comments:
Hi my name is tenicia and I was just looking for an article for a class assignment, but I really enjoyed your article and I think that this will help alot of people who have this type of addiction. My father was on drugs and I am not sure what it was but he probably did herion before. Too bad this was not around before he died, maybe it could have helped him kick the habit. well anyway I just wanted to let you know that this was a great idea and keep up the good work!

amster - 10/02/99 09:29:36
My Email:amster@jps.net
How did you find this page?: search

Comments:
I found your comments, stories and observations interesting, and I am going to seriously try to kick my habit here, hopefully by next Friday. I have been in meth detox 3 times in the past 9 months, but because of horrible circumstances and surroundings, always seem to fall off the wagon. I finish this detox on thursday, but I seem to be using just as much, if not more, than when I first started 2 1/2 weeks ago. I really don't know if I can bear any more pain in my life right now, and I have this preco ceived idea that this is going to be very painful. Any words of encouragement are most appreciated.

Tina - 10/01/99 13:16:33

Comments:
I only want to say that you are doing a great work. I have not been taking heroine myself but a close friend of mine.It really hurts to see what is happening.Fortunately he has been clean now for three months with the help of methadone but the first weeks were a hell to him.When you love someone like him you cannot help thinking all the time.. Will he make it? It hurts I can tell you.Anyway good luck everybody and keep up.Life sucks some times but Hey!there are other places you can go to than this.

Thomas.H - 10/01/99 10:09:05
My Email:Thomas.hansson@usa.net
How did you find this page?: surfing the net

Comments:
this is a great site one of the best i´ve seen in a long time,as a methadone klient my self here in sweden i find your system similar to ouers and i agree whit you sometimes is hard werry hard but you seem to handle your situation well i whish you and you familly a great life .and keep upp the god work:)

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