Thanks to the many people who have contributed to the guestbook. The guestbook has been growing exponentially lately and it makes for some of the most compelling reading on the site. The guestbook now takes up five pages:

• current guestbook
• 22 December 1999 to 21 February 2000(this page)
• 1 October 1999 to 21 December 1999
• 7 January 1999 to 28 September 1999
• before January 1999

The views expressed here do not necessarily agree with my own.

Donna Simpson - 02/21/00 20:33:28
My Email:peterv@aardvark.apana.com.au
How did you find this page?: just browsing around

Comments:
you know l really hate the fact, that the gouverment are being so nieve about drug addiction and allowing different types of tratments. You see l am on the methadone have been for 2 1/2 years and all l have had is nothing but constant problems.Such as, as soon as l have my methadone at the chemist 20 min later l viontley vomit it up. lt scares me be l just keep vomiting to the point where nothing is left, they the dry eaching comes. Also when l vomit this type of yellow throth comes up ans its real acity. l cant sleep properly every night lm up and down like a yo yo. As far as my appetite is concerned l dont have one at all. l miss enjoying food, now its only because l know if l dont eat something l will die! l am 40 kilos, terably underweight l look in the mirror a nd see some annaresic monster. l wont go and by any clothes because l get frustrated to easy because l feel everthing lokks terrible on me.l am on 77ml of methadone which l know is high but believe me lts just holdind me!!! For 2 years l have been going to my doctor, and all he can say is unfortunetly your one of those people that vthe methadone doesnt agree with me, l get to many side effects. But he says there is nothing else he can do. So just ab ut every day l vomit, lt makes it very hard as, lf l vomit it all up l start to hang out. Then what do you do?

Chris - 02/21/00 08:23:19
My Email:talnus@aol.com
How did you find this page?: Browsing...

Comments:
OK.. just a quick question. I am on my second year of college, studying Computer Science. I drink about once a week, smoke weed about once a week, and do extacy about once a month or once every other month. I've tried shrooms too, once, and I'd do them again if I got the chance. I enjoy drugs, but I'm VERY careful not to let them "take over" my life. Shrooms were incredible to me because I saw a whole new world, and a whole new way of thinking. I didn't feel any addiction, just joy that I found this ew world. I don't completely understand what heroin does, but I believe it's a bit like shrooms, on a much larger scale. A new, wonderful world, where things are much better. I understand that if I try heroin, I will probably want to do it again more t an anything in the world while I'm on it, but does it really affect your long-term (after you come down) thinking? Shrooms were fun, but I would never do them, say, twice in a week. Would I really be blinded from the possibility of a terrible addiction rom just one try? I have fairly strong willpower, and really enjoy new drungs. Sorry to ramble, but I'm really curious as to what herion "is" and does, but I don't want to mess up my life, drop out of school, etc. etc... Thanks!

holleywww - 02/19/00 05:50:23
My URL:http://www.2ki.ne
My Email:holleycc3.hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: looking for it

Comments:
actually i don't know if i am doing the right thing right now. i have some questions. i have been dating someone for 8 months, he is a heroin addict. we are planning on getting married in 2001. i have knownhim for 5 years. i learned that he was on th drug when we started seeing each other. 2 months later he went to a rehab and i thoght it had helped him, i know very little about this drug. now i just recently figured out that he has been using sinse he was out [6 months ago].presently he is in jail. i hope this the rehab and the halfway house straighten him out. do you think hey will? i know he has to want the help and he does this time. but what if i can't do this anymore? all we do is fight but i need him and he really needs me. can you give me any suggestions as to how i can remain strong and help as much as i can?

rj - 02/19/00 04:07:15

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joe owen - 02/18/00 20:03:53

Comments:
I found your book summery at my local library.It was a breath of fresh air. Here in america they have medival attitudes. an opiate dependant person is treated like an alien with plague. There are tens of millions of us across the globe of all races,educat onal backgrounds and economic status. We must, repeat must, come out of the closet just as did the homosexuals. together, united, all those who have for so long hunted and persecuted us will be literally shocked into defeat.then we can change the laws so that we can live happy normal lives just like diabetics, high-blood presure suffers etc.now thanks to the internet we can unite globally, exchange information,and began to formulate our political basis from which we shall crush the bible thumping,holier than thou,ignorant fools who have tormented us asunder. I do not have a computer but please write me : Joe Owen,3621 winchester sq. west, memphis, tn. 38118. bless you. Just to give you an idea of my situation. Memphis is a city whose metro area is approx. 1,500,000 people yet there is only one,repeat one methadone clinic within a 200 mile radius, however, there are thousands of "junkies" in the area. To be on the clinic here you must pay 80.00 dollars a week. you have to pay over 200.00 just to start. if you are unable to pay then there is no treatment for you. You doomed to a life in the street chasing your next shot or lying in hell cold turkey in the county jail. (our city jail has right at 3000 people in it 85% of whom are in for non-violent drug crimes.) If you suggested here that family doctors be allowed to treat people and that local pharmacies be allowed to medicate people with opiate problems you would looked at as if you just anounced the 2nd coming. I would sincerely enjoy hereing from you. I've taken enough of your time. thank-you Joe Owen 3621 Winchester Sq. West Memphis, Tn. 38118

Blue - 02/18/00 00:17:17
My Email:tapost@ccountry.net
How did you find this page?: web search

Comments:
Dear Rose, First of all I would like to commend you on your pursuit to help people understand heroin addiction. You're very brave. The reason for my entry into your guest book is that I have a friend who is addicted to smoking herion. I tried it and didnt like it. Fortunate for me. Yet I dont know how to help my friend. At times he expresses that he would like to stop. Get clean. But he continues to smoke it. How can I help my friend? Blue

Corrine Bradley - 02/17/00 22:06:16
How did you find this page?: searching for answers about methadone

Comments:
I too am on methadone and I am scared of what people say about it. I know that when I tried to stay away from heroin,alone, I couldn't do it. I took me to find an alternative (methadone), to help me to stay clean. I went from robbing mexican dope dealers, to sleeping with the dealers, to prostituting, to going to jail. Now I am in a year long self sufficiency program, I am able to hold down a full time job as a teachers assistant at Utah State, I now attend Mountain West Buisness College, this has all chan ed around a six month time. I don't understand, if having to get on methadone to suceed in staying clean, why can't I stay on it without it being such a big deal? Thank You for your encouraging story- it's helped.

Corrine Bradley - 02/17/00 21:53:21

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Anna - 02/17/00 08:48:41

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a very good friend :) - 02/17/00 07:01:03
Suggestions for the page.: maybe a bit more info. on treatments
How did you find this page?: friends

Comments:
i need some feedback on this problem i have. I am trying to help my friend who is hooked on herion. I need some info. on this treatment i heard of....It is called rapid opioid detoxification process. It consists of detox. under general anesthesia. They ut you to sleep for 6-8 hours, during that time you go through most of your withdrawls and after you pretty much 100% clean and you feel no pain and the cravings stops, supposedly.....I need to know if this is not a scam someone one is trying to pull, bec use this process is going to cost $$$$5000.00 plus the trip, ect...I need to get some feedback because I would hate for him to loose the money...I would hate to get my friends hopes up, because he really wants to get clean and sober, because he is really epressed and hates his life, (willing to take it).He deserves better, he is a very good person with a big heart.If he is reading this now or any other time, hang in there Bill, I'm sure you'll get the help you need bud....Your mom and your girlfriend are oing to be there for you, because they love you..A good friend from Ariz. told me so... :),thanks Kas...Now it's my turn to help a friend. I now your girlfriend doesn't understand you, but maybe after she reads some of these other stories, she will unders and you more, but don't blame her if she dosen't, so good-bye and read on, it gets more interesting. j.j

asdf - 02/17/00 00:05:57
My Email:sdf
Suggestions for the page.: sdf
Relevant URL's: sdf
How did you find this page?: sdf

Comments:
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Jessica - 02/16/00 19:21:12
Suggestions for the page.: its great
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
this really helped me out in a school report and i just wanna say keep up the good work of staying off and the best of luck to you in the future!

Maria - 02/16/00 19:20:58
My Email:mariaspano@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: school research

Comments:
I have two toddlers, so I did not have time to read all of the guestbook entries, if I am writing things that you have heard already I apologize. I wanted to say that your story touched my heart, I cannot imagine struggling with ongoing depression and tr ing to be a student and a mother. While pregnant with my second child I became extermely depressed, and it became unbearable after he was born. However, I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful doctor who recognized it as postpartum depression. I saw a psychiatrist specialized in that field and joined a support group. My point is that my experience could be described exactly as you described yours to be, but you attributed your recovery to a drug, as opposed to the changes in your hormone levels aft r a pregnancy (which can take up to two years to regulate). Although I am normally not depressed, there were women in my group with bipolar disorder, etc. They experienced post-partum depression even more intensely, but as time passed after delivery,(ag in 6months-two years) the symptoms lessened. You do not mention that you got help from anyone specialized in this, and you did say that pregnancy triggered the need for use-have you considered this as an explanation? Anyways, this is an incredible web p ge, and I wish you the best of luck.

Eimear - 02/16/00 13:43:02
My Email:marble@indigo,ie
How did you find this page?: moving

Comments:
I wish you all the best & happiness in your life after reading your story I think you are a really strong person . From an addict to a recovered addict :-)) never give up if you have went this far keep going

clarissa thompson - 02/16/00 00:59:34
My Email:fakebabies@worldnet.att.net
How did you find this page?: VERY INTRESTING!!!!!!

Comments:
PLEASE CONTACT ME I NEED TO KNOW A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THIS METHADONE. ME BEING SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER USED DRUGS BUT HAS A PARTNER WHO IS ON METHADONE I AM UNCLEAR TO ALOT OF THINGS. I FEEL LIKE I AM READY TO GIVE UP!!!!!!!!

Patrick B Johnson - 02/14/00 21:15:26
Suggestions for the page.: none this is so very helpful. thank yuo so very, very much
How did you find this page?: surfing internet

Comments:
This information is so very helpful.; it has made me feel like I'm not alone. The views expressed are wonderful and have literally made me decide not to commit suicide. I have many, many people in my life who count on me to be on Earth for them. To kill m self would probably contribute to the death of many other people who are very close to me. Your views and writings have, once again, not only been useful but have been essential to my continuance on the planet Earth. Whoever you are, thank you from the bo tom of my heart. My family also thanks you with wverything in their hearts and minds. Your site is a hand held down from the edge of heaven,; connected to the body of GOD. THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! Most of all thank you for making me feel like a real person and not some drug-seeking scumbag. I'm a college graduate (with honors) who loves his fellow man. I;m a person who has much more to give society. You saved me. Your writing has saved my life......Once again, thank you so very much.

Patrick B Johnson - 02/14/00 21:00:42
Suggestions for the page.: none this is so very helpful. thank yuo so very, very much

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Carolyn - 02/13/00 11:27:45
My Email:carolh1@eisa.net.au
How did you find this page?: through mmt watchdog

Comments:
Congrats on such a great and informative web page. Just what is needed for us methadone users..to know we are not alone and support is available. About 6 months ago, my employer was informed that I am on methadone and since then I have been watched like a hawk, had to have counselling and meet with my supervisors regulary to let me now if they are happy with my progress. This was all going well un il 3 months ago when we had a change in supervisor and manager and when they found out about me being on methadone it has been an on going witch hunt to get rid of me. I am currently suspended and under investigation for what the union says is micky mous stuff. I feel that they have really discrimanted against me from the moment they found out. I was just wondering if any one knew of any good legal reps. that are knowledgable in this area. I would be greatful of any help I could get. i have become ve y depressed and even suicidal at times because of there treatment towards me. Any way i could go on for ages about the treatment I have recieved from them.

tara - 02/13/00 03:45:56
How did you find this page?: looked up heroin

Comments:
i'm a 21 year old heroin addict and have been battling this "disease" for 3 years (just the heroin)(all together since age 13). its nice to hear some people are recognizing us as normal humans and not just low-lifes!! there are no typical "junkies" anym re! to lok at me you wouldn't think i stick a needle in my arm everyday..just to functionm! i really enjoyed your site! im on meth now too. i still use every now and then but at least i can function when i don't...by not being sick and depressed, im not saying its right but alot of things arent right in this world. ya know? anyhow, ill be looking back to see if you get any new info, thanks for showing some of the "ignorant" people in this world that were normal people and cant be stereotyped by any means!! thanks, tara, pittsburgh, pa

bob deluca - 02/12/00 12:33:45
My Email:Rbjdl@aol.com
Suggestions for the page.: none yet!
How did you find this page?: Looking for drug reform

Comments:
at this point i dont have much to say except we as users have a long way to go regarding an informed public. This danting task is a knoble effort on your part,keep it up. You never know, the public may come out of their ignorance for a few munutes....NO D NT THINK SO!!rbjdl@aol.com

Karen - 02/10/00 19:12:48
My Email:KarenS@HarrietCampbell.com
How did you find this page?: Wondering the Net

Comments:
I think it is wonderful that you are willing to share your experiences with all who need help and encouragement. I am thankful I am not the one who needs help, but I have and am helping those who need it and I too need some support along the way. I wish you nothing but happiness, success and a healthy future with your family.

jeff - 02/10/00 04:02:17
My Email:alisaspoohbear69@cs.com
How did you find this page?: just typed in heroin addicton

Comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I have been battling heroin for close to 2 and 1\2 years. Many of the people that write those letters condeming us have never experienced what it is like to be dope sick and hate something so much but on the other hand love t so much. Let them wait until it is their family member or friend and see if they change their minds about heroin addicts being bad people. No body starts out wanting to end up a heroin addict. Most of the time it just usually happens before you know t and you are hooked. I have been on methadone too and in my opinion I think it is 5x worse than kicking heroin ever was. Getting off methadone was the worst 6 weeks I ever went through. I would NOT recommend getting on methadone to anybody. You would be a lot better off to just kick it cold turkey and in a lot less pain. Methadone is not a quick fix. Some people never get off methadone and it soaks into your bones and is just generaly a lot more physically addictive than heroin. I enjoyed reading y ur site. It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem and open yourself up for ridicule!! I hope if you are on methadone, (cause you are) that this time it finally works for you. Nothing is more painful and heartbreaking than getting addicted ll over again. Good luck in your recovery and write back if you can. Jeff

- 02/09/00 19:52:15
My Email:silke@wenzelweb.de

Comments:
i like your page! i am german, 28 years old and was taking heroin for many years, since 2 years, i am taking methadon now. i would like to get in touch with people like you, if you like, you can send me a e-mail(hope you can read my english )

- 02/09/00 02:52:06
Suggestions for the page.: pictures
How did you find this page?: msn:methadone

Comments:
I agree that methadone maintenance is good and healthy for many people, including my boyfriend. Just in the first couple of months that I had started dating him, he had tried a 21,14,10,and 7 day methadone detox treatment and had been in a rehab facility twice-- and as much hope as we both had, nothing worked. Before I met him, he had been in and out of rehabs several times, he had stolen from his family and anyone else he could, he had squatted with other junkies, and prostituted himself for heroin. He t ld me that he used because he always felt an emptiness inside of him and when he wasn't using, he felt like committing suicide. He's been on maintenance now for a year and he is generally happy. He no longer behaves like a junkie, and he doesn't feel that desperation he used to. He tells me often that what he enjoys most about methadone maintenance i that he is able to make himself part of society again, at his own pace. He supports methadone maintenance 100% and after all that I have been through with him, so do I. (with respect to my boyfriend, I won't leave my name,25 from Los Angeles) P.S. Through the NAMA site, everyone should know not to vote for McCain-- he's very anti-methadone maintenance.

Kasra Massarat - 02/08/00 07:06:05
My Email:atorc@azstarnet.com
Suggestions for the page.: First time visitor, great site.
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
I had used drugs since I was 13. Started smokeing heroin around 1990 and became a $300 per day user within a few months. Owning my own business made it easy to hide my addiction from everyone. My business partner and my dealer were the only ones to know o my addiction. At first everything was great, including sex. Near the end I had not slept with my wife (or anyone else!) for over a year. Taking a dump was a major chore and at times I would stand at the urinal for a few minutes before I could pee. All my will power was not enough to quit. Two treatments failed within 24 hrs. I had gone to a few AA meetings and had heard people talk about God. But I did not think this could not work for me becouse I did not believe in God and had never belonged (nor do I n w) to any orginized religions. One day as I was dileing the number of my dealer I said "if there is a God you will stop me". I have been clean and sober as of that moment (5 yrs, 21 days ... who's counting!). The best part of it is that I did not have to uffer. Perhaps 2 weeks of not sleeping (thanks to the person that mentioned to me that lack of sleep never killed anyone) and 60+ days of depression. In the 12 step program I've found a fellowship where I am wanted, needed and loved. I've become a good pe son (to my own standards. Not anyone else's). And the biggest gift of all, to be able give back to others what was so freely given to me. I found my way, I hope you'll find yours. -Kas

ormonde o'connor - 02/08/00 05:16:55
My Email:none
How did you find this page?: purely coincedental

Comments:
Have been on maintenance for almost 7 years. I'm at 40 m.g. Feel O.K., but gained close to 20 kgs. in first 3 years of maint. Wife also on maintenance. She is Manic-Depressive also. Stay away from Psych. drugs! They are absolute poison! Try taking a very ood multivitamin and whole food supplement. Plus eat a lot of leafy veggies and drink a lot of water-stay away from caffeine and carbonation. This may sound hokey, but it really works. Signing off from the U.S.- O.O.

DEBBIE - 02/07/00 14:41:32
My Email:DEBLUC67@AOL.COM
How did you find this page?: NOT BAD

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missy brougher - 02/04/00 19:12:18
My Email:jornay15@juno.com
Suggestions for the page.: more info on effects
How did you find this page?: by typing in the find colum "heroin addiction"

Comments:
I can't really find anything here it would be nice if you updated your site once in a while\\

james - 02/03/00 15:38:13
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
I have been sick the last 5 days, detoxed myself without anything after 4 years of use. What a bitch. Your page helped me get through the rough times. Its nice to find Im not alone. Thanks, james

daniel - 02/03/00 06:51:37
My Email:double_j_69_us@yahoo.com
Suggestions for the page.: I LOVE YOUR PAGE, THANKYOU FOR YOUR HELP!!!
How did you find this page?: search engines, herion addicts

Comments:
my name daniel, i have been snorting heroin for about a 1 1/2 years,first not everyday, maybe twice a week, but now my problems is getting out of hand, and i have nobody to turn to. i have everything going for me rightnow, i run my family buisness, i'm g tting married in july,2000, to my wonderful girlfriend of 7 yrs.,she has no idea of my problem, niether does my family..i know if i told them, they would be very sad and disapointed in me, because i have been the perfect son, i am 24 years old and i want o stop, but i find it very hard..the withdrawls are alful, i can't stand the pain in my back and lately i have been depressed, because i feel i'm letting my self down. i feel alone and need help, i know i am in the early stages of addiction and i could pr bably have a very good chance to quit and have a wonderful life with my new wife...i love her so much, it kills me to think that i am living a double life, and i am hurting my self dearly....please will somebody tell me how i can quit cold turkey, because i can't afford to stop working and get help some where, i have 5 months to get clean, thats when i get marries....because on my wedding day, i want to be clean and very happy...if somebody out there could help me, i would really appriciate it, thank you f r the website.. GOD BLESS YOU AND EVERYBODY GOING THROUGH WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.....HELP ME, PLEASE..

vixen - 02/02/00 20:57:15
My Email:vixen2@prodigy.net
Suggestions for the page.: very inspirational
How did you find this page?: typed in heroin addiction and first link i came upon

Comments:
this is the first site i have found on heroin addiction that actually gives me some perspective. i, personally, have never done heroin. i am a frequent partier of other things though. a couple months ago i introduced my best friend to my sis' husbands bro her. he has been on heroin since he was 14[ now 22]. was supposably over it, but i have found that addiction never goes away, one can only maintain it. i have never judged him, unlike the rest of his family and friends. my best friend was totally against t, and was scared for him and her 6 yr old son, that may come upon a needle. they moved in together. she left her husband for him. i noticed how he tried to replace the heroin with anything, from ectasy, coke, pills, n e thing. like i said im afrequent pa tier, basically everything but. its been 2 months since i have noticed her changing. she always said nothing vcould talk her into trying it, but me and her love to party too much for her not to be doin anything. she lost weight, her hair was getting strin y. i will never judge anyone, its not my place, but i have tried everything to reach out to her. then i feel like i have done the ut most betrayal. i called her ex husband and told him he needed to get his son out of there. i would want her to do the same for me. she lost her apartment, her job, her car was wrecked from nodding out. i lay up at nite so worried that one of these time she wont survive the high. she has no family, least not around her. im afraid she thinks i have turned on her. i found out ye terday that she didnt show up for court[ the custody hearing].which means she probably has a warrant out on her. but then i learned this morning that they broke down to her boyfriends mother that he's back on it and she is to. the first time she has admit ed it. i was hoping it would sink in when she realized she lost her son.any ways, im blabbing on and on. i just felt as if i finally found someone who can see where im coming from. everyone around me tells me to forget it, forget bout her. shes only been n it 2 months, isnt there still time for her not to fall into addiction. i know its not his fault, he's a really good guy when the drug doesnt lead him. well i just wanted to write and say ur site has gave me a better perspective and im glad to hear u hav 2 beautiful kids and a loving husband. your in my prayers and u can count on me returning to this site. vixen

J-me - 02/01/00 00:30:22
My Email:downofa@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: its great
How did you find this page?: surfed on

Comments:
i think that this page is extremely wonderful. I, too, was or should i say am a heroin addict (more of a former addict thought i know i still would do it if i had the option). one thing i must say though, is that i (much like the owner of this page) bel eved that methadone would help in the beginning. I came to find out that its one hell of a bitch to detox off of if you choose to do so. With heroin detox, it may last aprx. 4-6 days. My methadone withdrawl not only lasted 9 days of pure hell in a hand asket, it was followed with almost an entire month of waking up sick and craving though the sickness didnt hold a candle to the first 9 days where i hallucinated and vomitted almost non-stop. If i would have just attempted to detox without being so scare to kick heroin cold turkey, I would have saved myself three weeks of pure hell... so to anyone who really really wants to clean up your life, dont think that methadone is the cure all... its a pain in the ass and the withdrawls off that were by far mor hellish than any heroin withdrawls i had EVER endured. Good luck to you all and this really is a good page.... take care.

Steve Lust - 01/31/00 11:46:15
Suggestions for the page.: keep up the good work
How did you find this page?: search engines

Comments:
Hi. I'm 37 and after a life as a chipper I hit into 4 years of daily use. As I'm writing, I've been off for one month, kicked it cold turkey, again, and everytime seems to be the worst. Just wanted to tell you guys out there planning to kick it cold, it can be done. It's no fun, but you can do it. I Don't know if it's any help but I'll tell you my way. Get yourself 1) minor tranquillizer such as Valium are okay for stomach cramps and will probably help you sleeping too, which is desirable. During my last withdrawal I couldn't sleep for 12 nights! 2) If you can get anti-diarrhea and anti vomit medecines 3) for bone aches, Valium mite do the trick but some more focused medecine is probably better. Now, if you don't get all of this stuff, this shouldn't prevent you from going cold anyway. Keep the fluid coming (fruit Juices, Sugar Tea) although you'll hate the idea. Alcohol is an unmitigated disaster on early withdrawal, don't even try. Boys and girls, it does take motivation, or desperation. So if your score is just one phone call away, this may drive you nuts and kill your attempt. Consider how much money you'd spend chasing the bag, can't you lock in an hotel room of a small village conveniently located at say 150 miles from the closest drug scene you know. By the time your symptoms start and quickly peak you'll be too busy feeling sick and couldn't-wouldn't take that drive...... Once you're clean, staying off the junk is an entirely different story. But you gotta start from kickin it. However I wish us all good luck. Greeti

- 01/30/00 13:01:15

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jane - 01/29/00 10:01:11
My Email:juicy_jane@hotmail.com.au
How did you find this page?: altavista

Comments:
I really like your page, but i think you are using to much stuff as an excuse, i mean you should have been strong. If you were suffering from depressions, you should have seeked professional help, not just taken the easy way out. I hope that you are givin your children the guidence they need to be a productive and civil person in life. I am studying the effects of heroin and it is so sad to see how it can destruct peoples life in a matter of seconds. I am not having a go at you or anything, but you need to focus on your children more and not your problems. Your's Sincerely Jane Keep in touch at juicy_jane@hotmail.com.au

some one who caresdr - 01/28/00 22:57:23
Suggestions for the page.: keep up the good work
How did you find this page?: drugs browseNO

Comments:


Christy Webber - 01/27/00 22:03:07
My Email:hshea@ctaz.com
Suggestions for the page.: None right now
How did you find this page?: searching information

Comments:
Someone I love very much is a Heroin Addict, I should say recovering Addict, and he goes to a Clinic twice a week for a drug that i did not know the name of. I will ask him tonight if it is Methadone. I dont have much experience with this way of life, and would like to learn as much as i can so that i can better understand him. He is a very kind and good person. I dont want to see him relapse. I would like all the help i can get to help him. Thank You for your Web site, Christy,.

Kenny - 01/27/00 19:42:48
My Email:meandgusto@whoever.com
How did you find this page?: search engines

Comments:
Wow! What a site! I am a recovering addict and lately have been having cravings so bad I can all but feel the warmth that comes from it's bliss. It destroyed two years of my life and I'm affraid more to come. I came to this site to see what I could learn or copeing skills. I loved Mandy's story. I can relate so well it's not even funny. If you get to read this Mandy, please E-mail me at meandgusto@whoever.com. For those of you who are still using, hang in there. For those of you who have quit, congradulat ons and I wish you the best of luck. It's kinda funny, I never thought heaven and hell could meet, it's heaven being high but it's hell every second in between

- 01/27/00 04:24:09

Comments:


Nena Ruiz - 01/26/00 21:53:10
How did you find this page?: Looking around

Comments:
I am glad to see people not afraid to say that they are addicted to heroin. I've been using for two years and I am finally clean and sober. It was real hard to get where I am and I got critisized by alot of people trying to get through it. Nobody understo d me and what I was going through.

Janet Woods - 01/26/00 20:36:01
My URL:http://www.pub4.ezboard.com/bfamiliesincrisis/
My Email:janetl33@home.com
Suggestions for the page.: More people need to read this
Relevant URL's: lindesmithorg.
How did you find this page?: Look under a search engine for methadone

Comments:
Rose, Just like you when I tried to stay clean it would work only for a small time xanex seemed to help but not for all that long There was a void herion filled it that would last longer but by now my husband was drug free so he seemed to be alittle more nderstanding. I finally got on methadone the problem was the clinic thought 50mgs. was high and I still had that axienty feeling so to make the story short I'm on a clinic that gives me 65MGS a day and allows me to take the nerve pills and for the first t me in my life I can cope again, I'm starting to have trouble with my insurance company but that is a whole new story and I'm still working on it, e-mail me sometime I'd love to talk and believe me I know what you went thru I've been there. Take care, Jane

murray ritza - 01/26/00 17:56:05
My Email:dis nuts
Suggestions for the page.: more info
Relevant URL's: none
How did you find this page?: it sucked

Comments:
your page was bullshit you should start doing heroin again ya dumb junkie my password is run funker

joey zampardi - 01/25/00 15:37:00
My Email:pmerced120@aol.com
How did you find this page?: i put in herion

Comments:
I would like to find out more about it because I have a friend who is sick and did like it when I did it. please write me back!

hope widtfeldt - 01/25/00 02:20:23
My Email:sugarshacks@webt.net
How did you find this page?: methhadone discussion group

Comments:
Keep up the good work. We need more sites like this.

chris rohr - 01/24/00 03:13:40
My Email:chriswr@altavista.com
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
keep keeping us recovering addicts informed.... thanx

harry death - 01/23/00 12:51:38
My Email:sasinc@paradise.net.nz

Comments:
kiaora. good old looker. man just like jesus son but i wanna stick to a spikeless exisance too. man for reall let us know whats going on. we're working on somesorta wellington nz junkie magazine looking for stories etc worldwwide. too. so it is good if yo send news views ourway too, address above man woman even kids, on and off we want to hear what its like for you now. good on yas, from here in death city. nz. bye.

Karl Rowe - 01/23/00 06:30:13
My Email:krowe11954@prodigy.net
How did you find this page?: luck

Comments:
Please contact me if possible. I am a recovering addict and need to speak to someone who understands my dilemma. I go to A.A. meetings and I also am on a methadone maint. program, they won't tell me my dosage. I have been in the program for 7 months now a d have requested several increases but I still don't know my dosage. Also, I use occasionally but not like I did before and I am very grateful for the program because it has allowed me a LIFE. No more coping dope every day, no more worrying about if I wil be able to cop, etc., etc. But since I am at the verge of complete herion abstitence, I would appreciate a few pointers from you on going ALL THE WAY. Thank You, Karl

holden caulfield - 01/20/00 17:48:29
My Email:nevermore2@aol.com
Suggestions for the page.: don't put it in yellow!
How did you find this page?: through a friend

Comments:
when we tried to print it out with a black and white printer we couldn't see the writing

Alexander Gibbs - 01/20/00 06:13:27
My Email:gibbsa6745@yahoo.com
How did you find this page?: good

Comments:
Your story really came home to me and I am very glad you have taken control of your life. I know how hard it is to battle with drugs several of my close friends have or still are going through what you have gone through. It is very inspiring to see that it is possible for people to over come drugs and have a family. with all the best wishes Alex from San Franc

Alex - 01/19/00 13:52:07
My Email:LeshaZA@aol.com
How did you find this page?: Curiosity

Comments:
My name is Alex, I'm 24 now and I've been using heroin since I was 19. Looking for a cure when I was 22 I admitted to Methadone program. I'm writing it because browsing through this page I see lots of people saying good things about methadone. PLEASE PEOPLE think really hard before making the desicion to sign up for the program, because if you want to change your life, methadone won't help. As the matter of fact it's going to make you even more dependent then Heroin. In the beginning, when I just started using Meth, I really started feeling better about myself, but as the time went on I started to realise how much of a devil that drug is. The difference beetween Heroin and Methadone in this case is when you start us ng Methadone, it takes too long for people to understand what it really is. The worst part of course that 5 days a week You must be there for your pickup. While on Methadone, you feel always tired. How about 2 month withdrowal. And last, as I can see 99% of people on methadone programs still use Heroin. THANKS GOD that 3 month ago I finally managed to get off methadone now I have an implant under my skin that blocks my brain from any kind of opiates. This is the 4th month now and believe me every day I feel that life comes back to me. Good luck to you all. ZA

Lisa - 01/19/00 00:39:10
My URL:http://Bluebird
My Email:bluebird@visuallink.com
How did you find this page?: searching

Comments:


michael urie - 01/18/00 21:48:58
My Email:bowser8880@hotmail.com
How did you find this page?: a search

Comments:
I'm currently acting in a production of the drama DOES A TIGER WEAR A NECKTIE?, which takes place in a highly secured drug rehabilitation hospital. I came to your website to find some research on the side effects of heroin and other related substances. want to thank you for the information included on this site and commend you on your journey. Thank you. Michael Urie

jay - 01/18/00 17:15:22
My Email:jjswe123@aol.com
How did you find this page?: just bumped into it

Comments:
excellent site!makes us opiate dependent people not feel all alone I have been on methadone maintence for 8 months and heroin free for 6 months.

TRACI - 01/17/00 00:03:49
My Email:misspoison@mail.com
Suggestions for the page.: PLEASE HELP
How did you find this page?: ASK.COM

Comments:
My 21 yr old boyfriend of 5 years ,and father of our 2 young children, started doing heroin 3 years ago, and went to shooting it 2 yrs ago.He has been in and out of rehabs and in jail for most of last year.We have lost our place to live ,not to mention 2 trucks, a motorcycle, and anything of value he could sell.I keep leaving him ,but he calls and cries to me how he is going to change,I come back every time ,hoping he will be telling the truth and never going to touch it again.He has broken my nose 2xs a d hit me so hard in my one ear i lost most of my hearing .I know it is cause of the dope, and I forgive him cause I know it hurts him when he hurts me.He just got put on probation ,and was doing very well after 3 weeks in rehab ,he went 2 weeks without do ng dope (for him thats great)Christmas day we got back together ,I thought this time was it.Need i say he did later on that night with some of his Christmas money ,he tried to lie he didnt do it ,but i always know when he does, so now it is 3 weeks later and again is doing it every day.2 days ago i told him not to call me,I know he will and I know I will listen to his lies and go back, cause I do love him and I will keep hearing his false hope of how we are going to be a happy family ,and he is going to s op.I believe the only way he will stop is an overdose, and I feel it is going to happen.In a way all the pain I go through will be over if he does, just to be replaced by a new pain.So I cant win either way can I.I KNOW THE JUNKIES ARE GOING THROUGH HELL, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE THEM AND HAVE TO WATCH.Sometimes I wonder if I should stick that needle in my arm to forget what hell i'm going through, or maybe just a bullet and get it over quick.Please is there any hope I need to know, please.

the skeptic - 01/15/00 18:47:08
How did you find this page?: search engine

Comments:
I've been on and off H for about 6 years now and I wanted to make a few comments...I've gone through withdrawal many times and find the talk about it quite exaggerated. Sometimes I think fear of withdrawal is worse than withdrawal itself. Here are some wa s to make it less awful: 1) take time off work/school whatever. Pretend you have some kind of other sickness eg. flu so you can get some time in which you are not expected to perform; 2) Contrary to what many people say, it does help enormously to try to ower your amount for a week or two before you decide to quit. Doing this will significantly ease the withdrawal effects; 3) You will have difficulty sleeping. In fact you may not sleep for as long as five days in a row. Rent a stack of videos and buy a he p of magazines (you won't feel like reading books); 4) You may forget to drink liquids, but don't - your body really needs water at this time; 5) Treat yourself gently. When you start to feel better, go out for short walks and move slowly; 6) Even when I' been using heavily, I never foamed at the mouth or did anything really dramatic. Basically, I just felt like shit, couldn't stop moving my legs, had some vision problems etc; 7) Buy a couple of bottles of ginger ale - you will have no appetite but ginger ale really does make you feel better, more stable, less nauseated; 8) Watch out with chlonidine if you already have low blood pressure - it is actually a drug designed to lower your blood pressure and may make you feel worse; 9) Schedule a reward to take lace in about 6 days time, when you'll be feeling better and stronger eg. get your hair cut, go shopping for yourself etc. Obviously, these suggestions are only helpful for middle-class users who have money and a house etc. A few other myths I wanted to address. I really don't believe that H alters your brain chemistry permanently. I certainly don't feel any worse when I'm off H than before I started to use in the first place. There is an attempt in this kind of talk to bla e things on chemicals and not on the social philosophy we are all trying to live in/with everyday. I know I first started experimenting based on a philosophical enquiry into our society and its values. For example, everyone's always talking about efficien y and productivity and H is a place where one can just be, where you deliberately waste time. This is the stuff no one wants to look at because it threatens to disrupt the system. The only thing that has helped me at all is Eastern meditation. Often I thi k Western thought is bankrupt and has nothing to offer drug addicts...

MICHAEL - 01/14/00 21:42:16
My URL:http://WWW.BENZMIKE@AOL.COM
Suggestions for the page.: KEEP IT UP
How did you find this page?: CRUISIN THE NET

Comments:
BEEN ON METHADONE FOR OVER 12 YEARS AND WILL NOT STOP SOON B/COUSE I NEED OPIATES TO BE ABLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIVE TX MICHAEL

leni - 01/14/00 11:08:11
My Email:cruella889@cs.com
How did you find this page?: I looked up heroin on the ask jeeves search engine page.

Comments:
Some time, I hope that you might consider adding some of the scientific research relevent to addiction and depression. I do not have any specific examples for you, But if I find them I will send them. However, I have one criticism- I find maintenance prog ams to be somewhat lacking. They typically do not address long term problems such as mental illness,or childhood trauma and behavioral problems. I think this may be why many Dr's are uncomfortable with prescribing methodone to cure emotional problems. The should use caution if a patient claims that satiating a physical addiction solves the problem, because it almost never is the whole problem. Depression and addiction are not necessarily the same thing and it is only a shame your previous Dr. did not urg you to seek other avenues of help for your depression ( I DO NOT MEAN AA/NA). Methadone is meant to buy time, and a measure of comfort, while other issues are addressed. Sorry for blabbing so much, but thanks for letting me! PS- If you have depression or other mental illness, I strongly urge meds for this and therapy for the behavioral changes you will need to make.

Kimmy - 01/14/00 05:43:43
My Email:pickleo@aol.com
How did you find this page?: Just surfed in

Comments:
This site looks really terriffic! Keep up the GREAT work!

- 01/13/00 19:10:09
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: browsings

Comments:
its a good point of view, rock on

Sir George Veizer - 01/13/00 12:51:56
My Email:necronomicon@freemail.hu

Comments:
I'm very happy to haliday.I függö vagyok.Please give me my heroin!!!! Üdv:Sir George

sandra lane - 01/11/00 21:26:59
My Email:lanes@sdh.sk.ca
How did you find this page?: by accident-surfing

Comments:
Excellent

melissa - 01/10/00 15:25:55
My Email:melissamjm@webtv.net
Suggestions for the page.: Just keep up spreading the word
How did you find this page?: looking for Methadone support and understanding

Comments:
Well, Just to start, My name is Melissa. I am 23years old and have been using for just about 6 years. I started on my 18 birthday. Great present HuH? Any-how Ive been on Methadone for about 2 years now. And I can honestly say if i didnt get on methado e when I did I would have either been dead my now or dying of AIDs and to me that is no joke. Today I am living before i was just surviving. What a difference. I would do anything to avoid being sick. I mean anything. I would not wish being dope sick n my worst enemy. I chased heroin night and day. After finding your site and reading the guestbook, i just had to respond and say it great to know "I AM NOT ALONE' Sometimes I think Why me? but it isnt only me, and i I really realized some of your things you wrote and some of the guest is my story too. So just want to tell everyone THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. It definitely made me feel better and not so alon Please feel free to write me and I can use some friends who understand and to confide in.

melissa - 01/10/00 15:12:47
My Email:melissamjm@webtv.net
Suggestions for the page.: Just keep up spreading the word
How did you find this page?: looking for Methadone support and understanding

Comments:
Well, Just to start, My name is Melissa. I am 23years old and have been using for just about 6 years. I started on my 18 birthday. Great present HuH? Any-how Ive been on Methadone for about 2 years now. And I can honestly say if i didnt get on methado e when I did I would have either been dead my now or dying of AIDs and to me that is no joke. Today I am living before i was just surviving. What a difference. I would do anything to avoid being sick. I mean anything. I would not wish being dope sick n my worst enemy. I chased heroin night and day. After finding your site and reading the guestbook, i just had to respond and say it great to know "I AM NOT ALONE' Sometimes I think Why me? but it isnt only me, and i I really realized some of your things you wrote and some of the guest is my story too. So just want to tell everyone THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. It definitely made me feel better and not so alon Please feel free to write me and I can use some friends who understand and to confide in.

- 01/10/00 04:50:29

Comments:


- 01/10/00 00:21:36

Comments:
Hi ya great site and idea I,M from New Zealand I am on 95mg's daily & pick up 3 times weekly methadone restrictions here r no where as strict here. After 3 months your eligable to apply 4 takeaways if concidered stable and have hade last 3 urines come back clean from all drugs bar pot. There is a lot of methadone 4 sale on the streets over here. directly related to the ease of getting takeaways.don,t get me wrong it,s only a minor percentage of people who do so but it is going to cause things to get a lot tougher 4 those of us who R usi g the programe the way it is meant 4 well just thought I would let u know what was happening over the tasman take care (stay clean) :) the KIWI

- 01/10/00 00:21:33

Comments:
Hi ya great site and idea I,M from New Zealand I am on 95mg's daily & pick up 3 times weekly methadone restrictions here r no where as strict here. After 3 months your eligable to apply 4 takeaways if concidered stable and have hade last 3 urines come back clean from all drugs bar pot. There is a lot of methadone 4 sale on the streets over here. directly related to the ease of getting takeaways.don,t get me wrong it,s only a minor percentage of people who do so but it is going to cause things to get a lot tougher 4 those of us who R usi g the programe the way it is meant 4 well just thought I would let u know what was happening over the tasman take care (stay clean) :) the KIWI

anthony - 01/09/00 15:58:35
Suggestions for the page.: keep up the good work

Comments:
im irish and im off the junk 5 days.... i was on it for 4 years and i dont intend to go back on it..WILL POWER..

- 01/08/00 15:28:30

Comments:


Jasmine - 01/08/00 11:45:13
My Email:deadline@aeneas.net
How did you find this page?: excellent

Comments:
We have a physical problem and we must take responsibility and do our own research in finding why about 1 to 2 percent of people lack the chemicals in our bodies to have a normal life. The age of 12 seems to be a magic number. Keep up the fight and know y u ARE a human being. Remember this . . . You could give a million dollars to your community and the next day if they found out you are a junkie you would be an outcast. Watch your children as I believe this runs in families.

Amanda - 01/07/00 15:50:54
My Email:h.amanda
How did you find this page?: SEARCH-HEROIN

Comments:


chris - 01/07/00 06:08:40
How did you find this page?: Surfing

Comments:
Well done! Keep your chin up.My father suffers from manic depression but it is under control with the help of modern drugs. Your story is a breath of fresh air in an environment that is plagued by the misconceptions of todays problems. Keep up the good work and I wish you best.

mikaela - 01/07/00 01:21:24
My Email:mikaela3@chickmail.com
How did you find this page?: msn search

Comments:
I live in a very small town, so finding information was hard - thank god for the internet. I have never tried heroin myself - thankfully. I think about all the lost lives this drug has claimed. My boyfriend of a year and a half is an addict. He moved to t is small town about 3 years ago to escape. He came here straight out of prison with every intention of changing his life. My boyfriend told me all about his problem when we firsted started dating. I thought it was an issue from the past - I thought he was okay. About 4 days before Christmas I discovered he is not okay. I found syringes, and spoons in his bathroom ... why did I look where I normally wouldn't look ? Because I bought him a new shaving kit and wanted to make sure he hadn't bought one for himse f. I hoped that he would tell me it was someone elses - I wished I'd never found it. My mind is completely bent. He cried I cried. He is such a good man - I can honestly say I love him. But ... dealing with addiction is so hard. It is just as hard on the eople around you you know ? I am in a constant state of paranoia everytime he goes to the bathroom I fear that he is shooting up again. I have a very good support network but heroin is out of everyones league in this small remote town. Both he and I are eeing counsellors, I know this is his problem, his addiction. I have enough of my own problems to keep this counsellor busy for years without even dealing with heroin addiction. I was wondering if anyone out there has been in the same situation ? I am not married to this man, I don't even live with him. But I love him, and I care what happens to him regardless of whether we are a couple or not. Does anyone using or observing have any advice for me. Should I run like hell ? What should I be watching for ? H w will I know if he is using again ? Do you ever learn to trust them again? I should note that this is not a place where you can walk to the nearest streetcorner and score. My boyfriend seemingly dials 1-800-heroin and it is delivered to his door. I know that he is calling old aquaintances from his heavy using days. I know logically that I can't stop him, but I feel that I shouldn't make it easy for him either. Should I tell his roomates, and have them keep an eye on him, should I check his phone records I need information from people living with heroin in real life, as my boyfriend is a product of that life. He moved far away from it and it caught up with him. It is not fair that such a beautiful human being should have to live this life. I was curious a out heroin before I began to see the full extent of it;s grasp. I am hoping that my boyfriend will be okay some day, the same as I hope the rest of you out there trapped in this downward spiral will be okay too. Heroin is not stronger than love we all nee to have for ourselves. Sorry for rambling - any input is much appreciated. mikaela3@chickmail.com

dru - 01/06/00 23:40:59
My Email:druidai@hotmail.com

Comments:


Drexel - 01/06/00 21:05:15
Suggestions for the page.: more info on heroin maintanance programs
How did you find this page?: a junkie finds a junkie.

Comments:
I am a twenty-two year old female, a seven year addict, and in the fourth day of "cold turkey" withdrawal. The thing that really sucks is that I know it's only a matter of time before I'm back on. The shit that I'm putting myself through right now is real y not worth the pain of it. The thing is- it's not the drug that's my problem, it's the lifestyle. Now, don't start wagging your finger at me just yet, listen to what I have to say. I started drinking when I was seven or eight years old- my dad is an alchoholic, so liquor was always around the house and not kept track of. Both my parents are addicts, too. I'm really proud of my mom because she's been clean for eighteen years. She was dual addicted to heroin ad cocaine. My dad, however is still an actively drinking alchoholic and crack addict. They split up when I was nine- around the time my mom detoxed. My mom, sister and I moved to North Carolina after that, where I took up with my two cousins, one a year older, one a year younger than me, who had already been smoking pot and taking acid for awhile. I partied with them all the time. My younger cousin and I got caught in a stolen car, huffing ether acid when I was thirteen. We used to do alot of stealing (cars, clothes, jewelry, cash from our parents) to buy drugs. We were also snorting alot of coke at this time. My older cousin started dancing in this drag-club when he was fifteen to support his crack habit. My younger one signed up to an escort servce. I just somehow always managed to avoid that sort of thing for myself- not that I think I'm better than that, because it's always been my backup plan, b t simply because my talents are more towards the con-game. I've always been able to just talk people out of things. Anyway, my family moved to another town when I was fourteen, where I immediatly sought out the"wrong crowd" at school. I started selling pi ls and weed to the kids there, and that's where I first met up with the squatters. One of my friends took me to her boyfriends squat to see if the wanted any of my pills, they didn't- but they had exstacy, which I'd always wanted to do. I traded off some eed for a couple pills. After that, it was an everyday thing for about four months. Also, about this time I decided that didn't want to live at home anymore, moved out before my fifteenth birthday. I started out living in the squat-house, but then decided I wanted to travel. A few of us were going to hop a train the next day (in case you're unfamiliar whith the term- it means illegaly boarding a frieght train for free travel) so we decided to have a party to celebrate. Someone there had a few grams of heroin, so of course e scored some. I hadn't tried it before, so I was afraid of the needle and just snorted. My best friend, though, shot up. She went out right after pulling the rig out of her arm, she turned blue and the whole bit. Luckily, her boyfriend had been on dope b fore and knew what to do. He was slapping her and shoving ice in her vagina and asshole, he also shot her up with salt-water, then threw her in the cold shower. She came to after a few minutes, pissed off as hell. She was mad because she was wet! You woul think that after all that, she'd be happy to be alive, and you'd also think that seeing that on my first time out, that I wouldn't do it again. I did some more lines the very next morning. Well, I was homeless and travelling off and on for the next few years- doing anything I could whenever I could. I went through being dope-sick the first time when i was fifteen. At seventeen, I ended up in Denver, in a van, addicted to crystal-meth. Th t's when I first got on the needle. Kicking that was the worst. About a year and a half ago I decided that I was tired and ready to settle down somewhere. I went to Florida, I got a job, i got an apartment. I got bored. I met my boyfriend at work. He worked next door and would come ito the coffee-shop on his breaks. He was on house arrest, for possession and delivery of heroin. It's funny how it always finds you. We broke his probation and went to Tampa to live on the streets and be junkies. This was a totally concious decision. He would steal stuff from stores to sell to a fence, or I would scam somebody for cash. We ended up living for awhile with one of our dealers. We would have threesomes with him for dope, so I g ess I have prostituted- in a sense. I would have done it any way, without trading for drugs, I mean. I went to jail twice there for theft- and because of previous charges- am listed as a career criminal in the united states. I was in long enough both times to kick. I was back on the minute I left- both times. I shot up in the parking lot of jail. We left Florida to try and get clean, because we want to be able to have kids without dragging them through this sort of life. We've been moving here and there constantly, always finding it, then moving, kicking, and finding it again. I even od'd and d ed once, literally- I wasn't breathing and my heart stopped. The only reason I survived was that my boyfriend did CPR on me. I heard angels, even though I don't believe in god. I didn't care all that much, I got scared after that, but being dead was comfo table, and being high was easier than being sick. Usually we go to a hospital with a fake name and get pain pills to help us through. This is my fifth time kicking just this year! I said at the beginning that it isn't the heroin, it's the lifestyle, and I stand by that. You see, I have been a "functional junkie" before. I am able to hold down a job, and pay bills, and all that- I choose not to, because I am used to being on the treets, it's where I'm comfortable. That is the problem, I feel that if I don't travel and squat and all that- that somehow something is wrong with me. I'm at my mom's house now, living with her for the first time in eight years. I don't think it will las long. She doesn't approve of my boyfriend of a year and a half. She doesn't approve of my piercings, or tattoos, she doesn't approve of my choices. I'm here to get a job and save money, get a car, and find a good place to settle down. I wish america had heroin maintanance program, because I know we're going to get back on. The thing that sucks is that, even when I get established and in a place that we don't have to steal and lie and rip people off for drugs- I will still be a criminal for maintaining m addiction. I will be committing a crime by buying it, transporting it, using it- even though noone is harmed and nothing is lost by it. I know this was long, and I don't know if anyone even cares, but it helped me get through this day, and that's all I want right now. (except a shot, of course)

Cori - 01/06/00 03:11:48
My Email:quincey_21@yahoo.com

Comments:
I read your story and i found it interesting. I am not really sure of what i am gonna say about it though. I am 15 and I am doing a health progect on Heroin. i was surfing around and came upon your page. I am not going to bash you with my words, saying th t you are a junkie or worhtless. I just dont understand why it is that you just dont try and give up the methadone. If it fails you like the prozac did, I am sure you will find something else, something more safe and healthy. I also dont understand why yo are deppressed, you are living for your chidren, and your obviously loving husband. I have never tried Heroin before so there for i can not understand the effects and why it makes you feel so good, but i am sure that there is another way for you to get t is so called "natural high". Well if you could i would like it if you emailed me back and let my know what you think of this. Thanks!

Jessica - 01/05/00 19:26:10
My Email:Princessjess84@email.com
How did you find this page?: a school project

Comments:
i think this site is sweeet it is so cool i love it.

chantelle - 01/05/00 11:31:42
My Email:shazza_21@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: tell us about detox symptom's , what the people going through it are thinking and feeling..
How did you find this page?: interesting but not enough information

Comments:
it's great what your doing and sould put a lot more info in this page..

belly - 01/04/00 07:15:07
My Email:belly@sfsu.edu
Suggestions for the page.: info on safe injection/usage practices
How did you find this page?: just stumbled upon it

Comments:
I really liked your page. It provides a good perspective, and it is uplifting to hear of a long-term addict who is living a full life. I have been a heroin addict for a little over a year now and am just about to start my 4th 21-day methadone detox. I h pe it works this time, if not I am considering going on methadone maitenance. I was wondering if you have found any side effects from long term methadone usage, such as stomach problems, or anything else. Thanks, keep up the good work, and wish me luck.- -belly

Sam - 01/03/00 12:34:35
My Email:samkinchie@netscape.net
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: 3 find in "heroin" search

Comments:
I thought for a long time what do we, drug-users have in commom. Lets face it, we are all searches. We all repeat an ancient mistake of Adam and Eve. We want to know. May be there is something better just around that corner. For to turn to drugs to kill your pain you have to know where to turn first. Therefore for those who want to protect their children here is an advise of an addict. The first time is the crucial one. You will have to live with the knowledge for the rest of your life. And its a time bomb. It only waits for the right circumstance to go off, and very often they happen. And here is my question: Has anyone came off heroin and stayed clean for a considerable period of time ALONE? I mean zero family, friends, let alone lovers. I am in deep immigration therefore my loneliness is ultimate. I'm just trying to figure out wether I'm such a worthless piece of shit or I'm biting more than anyone can chew and better get home as soon as possible. And there also a possibility that l'm deceiving myself and don't really want to give up the high. Don't lie to me though, its a sin :-)

sara - 01/01/00 03:52:53
How did you find this page?: just browsing

Comments:
I know how bad depression can be and I genuinely feel for all the crap you've been through. good luck for the future

Lesley - 12/31/99 01:22:12
My Email:martchas@gateway.net
Suggestions for the page.: keep it up
How did you find this page?: been here before

Comments:
On February 20th,I wrote, thanking you for your site,depressed about my son, Scott, and his "hopeless" situation. Scott was shooting alot of heroin,homeless,in and out of jail,suicidal,etc.etc.etc.I was so afraid that i would never see him again.Tonight h is downstairs in my living room,healthy,clean,happy and whole,alive again and loving it.He has been off all drugs since the first week in August.That's the first time in 14 years (he's 26),by his choice.He wrote a poem that he shares with other addicts.. he last line reads,"How do I know I've been set free?I'm THANKFUL for the day."Scott came to be with his family for the holidays and will return to his own home next week.So, to anybody reading this who feels that there is no hope that their loved one wil recover,pray on...and never give up on them,ever. Much love to all of you, and may you be as happy as we are in the coming year.What a wonderful Christmas gift!!!!!!

karen - 12/30/99 20:05:30
My Email:kars555@aol.com
Suggestions for the page.: i love it!
How did you find this page?: through a friend

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Stephanie - 12/29/99 02:19:29
My Email:jazlynny@aol.com
How did you find this page?: search for heroin

Comments:
my daughter & son - in - law are heroin addicts. I'm trying to find out as much infomation as i can. They are currently in jail. I am very desperate to help my daughter before i get that phone call that every mother dreads! She was once a beautiful irl with high ambitions. She is now living on the streets, and, i feel totally powerless to help. She hasn't seen her 8 year old daughter in almost a year!

Sauda Porter - 12/28/99 23:24:01
My Email:sporter@u.washington.edu
Suggestions for the page.: None
How did you find this page?: Surfing

Comments:
I read your site top to bottom and I can't help but feel like I am being manipulated. I totally applaud you in your endeavors to get clean and stay clean but it seems that you do alot of whining about how the doctor wasn't being helpful and people treat sers as if they aren't human. My response to that would be: well what do you expect. Your drug situation shouldn't be anyone else's problem but yours. The doctor doesn't have to be sympathetic and overly helpful. YOU are the addict. YOU chose to emba k on the life of a heroin user. That is no one else's situation but yours. Again, I think it is wonderful that you are clean but in your recount of your experiences you are making it seem like society owes you something for your decision to be clean. B t I do thank you for sharing your story and hope that you have changed some lives in the process!!!!

Jim Burns - 12/28/99 20:34:33
My Email:JimBurns@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: Beautifully done.
How did you find this page?: MS Internet Explorer

Comments:
Great site, and very informative. And for the rest of you out there, don't knock what works.

- 12/28/99 20:29:51
How did you find this page?: MS

Comments:


angie - 12/28/99 18:31:33

Comments:
I appologize for once more disturbing your site, but... The guilt and worry consume my mind. The hopelessness of the whole situation. Jeremy is killing himself and I don't think there is anyway to stop it. I wish I could go back to feeling numb and ignorant to the whole thing but I cant. I cant go back to inno ents. I'm 20 and I feel 50. I have always felt older because of the roads my life has involantarily taken. Situations I cant control but I've always been the little innocent believing I was knowledgeble of the world and all it's horrible tradgedies. Until one was so bruitally shoved in my face with the addictions of my brother. I can't fix him, Icant even talk to him. He hears nothing but the bitter-sweet numbing rush of heroin. His eyes go glossy and blank and I become a stranger to him. He isn't even rea ly my brother anymore. He's something else-He's a junkie and my heart breaks. In a way, I mourn my brother's death. He is alive but in a way he is already dead- Death into birth of a "junkie". I'm not an addict but I am a direct victum of it's tradgedies. I love you Jeremy. Come back. - Thank You for once again lisitining to my ongoing battle with this disease. You have given me not hope but the dream of hope. I can never thank you enough for that. Hope that the dead can rise from the grave they dig. The life of a street junkie

Angie - 12/28/99 16:41:14
My Email:none
How did you find this page?: browsing subject

Comments:
I just wrote some personal info a few minutes ago. I just wanted to say I have read your site now. I just wanted to say thank you for letting us all know we're not alone.

- 12/28/99 16:02:04

Comments:
I could tell you the story but I'm sure you know it better then I do. My brother is addicted to heroin and has been for years. I was recently faced with that fact, When I saw my brother self-distructing in front of my face My heart was ripped from my ches thrown on the ground and shattered in peaces. He was a brilliant person with so much potintial as a kid. Now he's 26 and slowly killing himself. He didn't even recognize me last time I saw him. I don't know why I tell you this exept that I just needed to tell someone else how much this hurts. I figured you might understand better than most. I think of my beautiful brother throughout every day and dream of him every night. I feel as though I am mourning his death. I don't see him making it out of this. I f el guilty for giving up hope. But hope feels like a dillusion these days. I appologize if I have offended you in any way and I thank you for giving people like me a shoulder to lean on. once again thanks.

kathy - 12/28/99 08:22:45
How did you find this page?: surfed in

Comments:
Hi and all the best for the future...........

- 12/28/99 07:21:16

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- 12/28/99 02:49:47

Comments:


dixie - 12/27/99 22:14:07
My Email:mary3d@hotmail.com
Suggestions for the page.: none
How did you find this page?: doing a report

Comments:


alicia - 12/26/99 02:24:34
My Email:aurdiale@netzero.com
How did you find this page?: walk in

Comments:
Excellent!!!!!

Shelley - 12/23/99 17:09:09
My Email:shelleyrobinson@mail.com
How did you find this page?: MS Internet Explorer

Comments:
I am very curious about methadone treatment of opiate addictions; I too, live a seemingly normal life, that is, I am a married mother of two small children, and a sales manager for a small telecommunications company. I have also been on junk. And no one except my husband knows. I have been unable to find much information locally on methadone or other treatment options. I found your website to be very informative, however, and I'm hoping to find a treatment program in my area, after the holidays. At le st I now have some idea of what to expect.

beth shope - 12/23/99 16:10:39
My Email:beth_shope@msn.com
Suggestions for the page.: more real life stories
How did you find this page?: was looking under heroin addicition.

Comments:
hi i am a registerd nurse in dayton ohio and work on a medical detox floor. my interest is to help these pts to get back to the life they deserve. they have a lot of problems, that i would like to help them with. i liked reading the stories about peoples life and their problems with the methadone maint. programs. me and fellow co- worker gives a program to nursing students about drug addiction and i was trying to find more information than what i have been given . i also wanted to get some real life stori s i could possibly use to help these indiviuals understand. nurses i mean. that when their admmitted to the hospital for detox, they do not need to be critsized the need to hav some one their to help give them self confidence.

jamie j - 12/23/99 15:37:12
My Email:jimbo66uk@yahoo.co.uk
How did you find this page?: surfing

Comments:
good luck to everyone in there fight against the evils of smack nico and sally rip 1970-1999

chris - 12/22/99 23:40:53
My Email:chris@cjenkins31.freeserve.co.uk
Suggestions for the page.: i would like to hear more about people who have came through whithdrawl and sorted themselves out and how they are dealing whith life after h
How did you find this page?: surfing

Comments:
very imformative well i am just off to sell my computer so that i can score a bag bye

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