January 16, 1999

Ok, so I took an unannounced break. I apologize for any inconvenience. Let's pretend that I didn't post because I was developing an entry that is bound to completely blow you away. And really, after almost a month, this thing better kick butt, right? Let's go.

Say, Rose- how's that amiability thing coming? I hit a guy in the head with a door, and wore a stolen flower in my hair yesterday.

Finals are coming up. What am I saying? They're here, babe, and it's time to hit the books. Personally, I'd rather bury them in the two feet on snow in my backyard, but that might not go over well with the parental units. So, I thought I did really badly on this one part of my AP history final, which started two days ago (and we're still not finished!), and after I turned it in, my eyes fillled with tears. Some will say I was out and out bawling about it, but they are exaggerating things. Guess what? I got an A. If I wasn't so disgusted with my pathetic self, I'd be jumping for joy.

Let's talk about laughter. That's what I was thinking about as I passed out in my bed last night (well, technically, it was very early this morning). Last night, other than participating in National Hug Your Cat Day (betcha didn't know that- it's too late to celebrate now!), I was practically choking on laughter for four hours. When you have 24 people around you who are hooked on fun as a rule, it's pretty much inevitable. So, now I'm sharing my thoughts. First, it puts everything into perspective. Suddenly the bulldada of your life is clear, and the BS becomes pathetically insignificant. The problems that you were tearing up about and brooding over just disappear. And when a problem can disappear because of a simple noise coming from your mouth, that's when you know it wasn't a problem to begin with. That's great, isn't it? Also, laughter's a great equalizer. Sure, she's a senior, he's a goof, they're geniuses, and you're a sophomore barely passing gym, but as long as you all think the peasants are humorous, you're cool. The one thing about laughter, though- it's like drug. In two ways. One, when people are overcome by it, when the joke is just too funny to simply giggle at. Some people can throw their head back, guffaw for an extended, yet short, amount of time, and be able to respond within the next thirty seconds. Others get lost in the rhythm of the laughter. Maybe at one point they had a comeback, but either couldn't catch their breath and say it, or couldn't make their lips form the words to the point of clarity. A minute later, words are a thing of the past. They just get rolled over by the high of humor, and take forever to get over it. These people are the coolest, most sincere users, although they can get kind of annoying to the former type of laugher. Last night, I think I was one of these overcome people. The other way laughter shows drug-like qualities is the way people can feed upon it throughout a night, just thrive upon the noises given off by the people who hear their witty banter. Quite an ego- trip, I tell ya. Gives you a feeling of power, like not only are you wanted in the group, but you are also influential. Whoosh.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow!"

Last week, I got mad, and then I got over it. I decided that although we were supposed to be good friends, it didn't matter. We are different, we don't realy take interest in most of the things in each others' lives, but the point is, we do take interest in some of them. And that's nice, it's easy enough to handle. But it's weird, the way last year I would have gone simply mad about the crap I felt they pulled, and this year I throw my head back while Johnny Depp tells me to 'forget about it.' (major high-five to the person who knows what movie that comes from, by the by)

So, I'm thinking of starting something cool. All I need is for Freeservers to get its head out of whatever orifice they've stuck it in, and then I can start this awesome project I think my public (um, that is, my friends who stalk this site) will aprreciate for something. I'll have fun, I know that much, and this might even be quality work we're talking about here. Many voices, high intelligence in a carefree kind of way. Pizza parties and deep analyzing of everyday things the normal ones don't notice. I'm too excited. Just like you.

Did you know that Evian (the bottled water) is 'naive' spelled backwards? Think about it. Also, do you know what 'race car' is spelled backwards? Think about that!! And now we need a quote. I'm thinking fun, carefree, inspiring, and yet not that much. But who can do such a thing? The Beatles! Of course! This one's for Brian, the only guy I know who will sing along with our school's morning radio music. Rocky Raccoon: "Rocky Raccoon, checked into his room, only to find Gidjeon's Bible Now Rocky had come, equipped with a gun, to shoot off the legs of his rival. His rival it seems, had broken his dreams, by stealling the girl of his fancy. Her name was McGill, and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy." This is for me, and you. Northern Song: "It doesn't really matter what chords I play, what words I say, or what time of day it is, as it's only a Northern Song." Happy finals week, listener.@--->--- Ms. Rose