I don't want this disease, but I am so grateful that I have a name to all of my symptoms. My fiance' was beginning to think it was all in my head too. I have gone through YEARS of torment with this disease -- emotional pain and suffering, as well as rashes, headaches, weight loss, fatigue, swollen glands, sun sensitivity, nausea, joint and muscle aches, and discoid rashes, in additonal to thousands of dollars in medical bills.

It has taken the medical community 22 years to finally make my diagnosis. Therefore, I don't have much trust in physicians now, as appearantly all the doctors I consulted, prior to the Rheumatologist, were not adequately educated on lupus. I am now starting on Plaquenil and Ultram for my pain. I do a lot of praying, take things one day at a time, rest when I need to, and read others' stories about their battles with Lupus.

I do have family support, but what I'd really like for them to understand is that I'm sorry I sometimes have such a hard time making plans. I honestly don't know how I am going to feel from day to day. Sometimes I feel very isolated and alone and just need a hug when times are rough for me, and to tell me that "you understand."

I sympathize with everyone else who has gone through the same kind of experience I have. May the Lord keep us all strong and have the courage to deal with this disease.