I have several secrets to share with you... some are long, some are very, very short. Some are thought-provoking... some are so simple, you know them already. Click on the one you would like to read first, or just read them as you go...
WHAT'S IN THE CLOSET
Absolute Healing
So You Have Lupus... whose life is perfect?
ABSOLUTE HEALING
I think physical healing is probably at the bottom of God's list of priorities, though we seem to think it's pretty darned important. As humans, we tend to focus too much on the physical aspects of life, love, and relationships.
Take romance for instance: Typically, we are first physically attracted to someone and the emotions quickly follow. Once we get into a love relationship, we discover whether or not we are compatible mentally, with goals, interests, ideas, etc. After the honeymoon is over and the bliss of passion dies down, we become dependant upon spiritual convictions, concepts, and motivations to take us into a deeper and more meaningful union. When the spiritual aspect fails, the marriage fails. And this common road map to human relations is exactly backwards!
We encounter physical, mental, and emotional difficulties just like the mountain climber faces boulders, cliffs, slick spots, thorn bushes, and who knows what all else! These are NOT put there just to discourage us, and it's pretty darned self-centered to think they are. We face natural obstacles along the course of our journeys; obstacles, which if overcome, will give us the strength, fortitude, courage, and experience to face and overcome the obstacles on the next mountain we climb, making each adventure a little easier and more attainable than the previous. And by reaching the top of the mountain, I don't mean going to heaven. That just comes after our body can't take it here anymore -- not something I think about all that much. Heaven, as well as hell, are right here where I am; it all depends on my perception and my choices in life. Each little mountain I climb is deeper spiritual understanding, added spiritual growth, and a richer, more fulfilling intimacy with God -- all equaling heaven on earth. Jesus didn't tell us to endure this life, looking forward only to heaven and being released from this human experience. He told us to enjoy abundant life! So many people say they will endure any pain known to man if God so chooses. Well, what if God tapped you on the shoulder and said, "I command you to be happy from this day forth!"?
Healing, I believe, is a state of being; sometimes physical, but most importantly, spiritual. And spiritual health and well-being mean joy, gratitude, tranquility, laughter, and contentment. This is abundant life! Without heartache, loss, despair, and physical pain, I never could have reached the heights of fulifllment I know today, and as long as I'm here, I will continue to grow and reach yet higher mountain tops.
As I climb each mountain, surrounded by the majestic beauty of creation, the splendor of sight, sound, feel, and aroma, and the absolute perfection of God's handiwork, sometimes I can think of absolutley nothing but the sand in my shoes!!
SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
Don't wear your shoes on the wrong feet
Practice being where you are
Faith isn't required in the good times
Listen to your "gut"
Thank God for every experience
When you have God on your side, your "troubles" just don't know Who they're dealing with!
Don't give in to your fears... stick to the facts!
It's never as easy nor as much fun "As Seen On TV"
Assume responsibility for your own emotional well-being
Remove "blame" from your way of thinking
Remove "luck" and "coincidence" from your vocabulary, and acknowledge God working in your life.
Write down 5 things everyday you are grateful for.
Each day, write down at least 3 ways you saw God working in your life.
Keep a journal of your "miracles"; refer to them when you're blue.
Have trouble getting along with certain people?
H... Honesty
O... Open-mindedness
W... Willingness
Practice the " 3 C's ":
Don't Critisize, Condemn, or Complain!
We owe it to OURSELVES to be kind and courtious to everyone, but trust must be earned...
Be polite to all, but intimate with a select few.
Anytime I am disturbed, there is something wrong with me
Forgiveness is not for the transgressor, but for your own peace of mind!
No matter how bad things may appear, just remember this:
God has not brought you this far to drop you on your butt now!
Self-Honesty
If you are perfectly content with the quality of your life, then keep doing what you're doing. If not, I would encourage you to read on, provided that you are willing to accept responsibility for your own happiness. This essay reflects my personal philosophy, tried, tested, and proven to be one of many basic spiritual principles in life. You have the freedom to agree or disagree, but it is not my intent to create any type of contraversy. If any part of this writing upsets you, I would simply request that you ask yourself why. In my experience it has become self-evident that anytime I am disturbed, there is some fact in my life I am refusing to be at peace with. ~ Gayla
IssyMissy 
WHOSE LIFE IS PERFECT?
Laughing at ourselves is always our choice, regardless of our circumstances. If not lupus, then maybe cancer; a child born with birth defects; even worse, an abducted child; a spouse with a drinking problem; an elderly parent who suffers from chronic depresion; a neice or nephew who inflicts self-injury; a mentally-ill sibling; the death of a spouse; the ending of a marriage; painful misunderstandings between loved ones; insults, verbal abuse; drug addiction, rape...
My point is this, dear friend: Not a one of us has a perfect life. No matter how good another "seems" to have it, you do not live in their skin, feel their feelings, nor experience their own personal pain. Each one of us has the experiences which are best able to afford us the spiritual growth we need. In order to obtain the treasures of joy and contentment, we must learn to apply objectivity to ourselves, rather than grasping our pains and fears, clinging to them as if these were our treasure. Peace, strength, and laughter are always their rewards, if we work for them. We get to remain miserable for as long as we fight them.
I awoke one morning in March 1994, blind in my left eye. Something told me this was not normal -- I'm smart like that. After getting my daughter off to school, my son and I settled into our regular morning routine -- he with his bowl of cereal and favorite cartoon, and my daily phone conversation with my best friend.
"What are you up to this morning?" her chipper voice bringing a smile to my heart.
"Well, I woke up blind in one eye this morning, but other than that, not much is new."
She chuckles, thinking surely I was exaggerating. "Yea, and I woke up and found one of my ears had fallen off!" The sound of her laughter makes me giggle, which reminds me not to take myself too seriously.
"I really mean it. I can't see anything out of my left eye."
"Why?" she sounds stunned.
With a light-hearted sigh, I prod at one of our inside-jokes, "That's a dumb question! I'm a hyperchondriac, remember?"
We enjoy a good laugh as she suggests I'm getting terribly desperate for attention, but then we agree that I should probably call a doctor this time.
This was the condition which finally prompted my diagnosis of lupus, after 8 years of bizarre symptoms, 15 different physicians, hospitalization, and psychological evaluation. Happiness is not contengient on how I "feel" but on how I "act". Moaping around with a sour look on my face, thinking of how unfair life is, and acting depressed is really quite depressing. When I act as if I'm happy, an amazing thing happens: I become happy. To the best of my ability, I do what I would be doing if this thing hadn't happened.
This artilce in its entirety can be read online at Adventures With Autoimmune Diseases
~~ Gayla Pledger part of my story...
More information on:
"Optic Neuritis"
"The Lupus Anticoagulant Syndrome"
...and other Lupus-related articles.
ANGRY ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS?
A part of maintaining gratitude is to remember from whence I came -- the anger and fear which once ravished my mind and soul during a time of such illness without personal nor medical help. Journey with me, if you will, to the grave-side of these emotional battles, as I remember to be grateful today for the peace I have found. If you are in the midst of waging your own private war against personal problems of any fashion, and have yet to know acceptance and joy, please follow me as I retrace my steps from despair to freedom.
Grieving is a necessary part of living, for to live, one must continually grow, and to know newness and resilience, one must shed the old self to give birth to the new. Grief is much like the surgeon's knife, cutting away our old ideas of self-sufficiency, pride, and invincibility. The idea of such change angers us, the process frightens us, and the road to healing is painful.
We humans tend to rest comfortably in our easy-chairs of complacency, enjoying the rewards of our labors while complaining about such trivial matters. We may not be as happy as we'd like to be, but we certainly have no desire to lose anything we have! We will not opt for a chance of greater joy at the risk of letting go of the life we know. Even when we are miserable, there's a certain sense of comfort and security in the familiar. Within our souls, we're quite insecure creatures, desiring and even demanding guarantees. How easily we can be lulled into a false-sense of security, trudging daily through our self-made, familiar little ruts in life. Yet, one thing is absolutely certain: This life offers but one guarantee, and that is continual change. Fortunately, we have a Heavenly Father who never changes -- and thus, is the only true source of the security our hearts seek. God is such a genious! He implanted within each of us the desires, needs, and yearnings which only He can fulifll.
One day, tragedy strikes, like a tornado ripping violently and without provocation through our quiet existence of self-made security and illusion of independance. Life as we know it ceases. Questions without answers arise from the fear of the unknown, and we become angry. In fury and confusion, we doubt our beliefs and turn inward to self-pity for solace. As comfort yet eludes us, we once again become angry, shaking our fists at the damned tornado for reeking such havoc and desolation. Yet, we deceive ourselves, for we are truthfully angry with God for allowing such a thing to destroy our lives. And fear, in whatever form, is ever-present, as we attempt to run from the tragedy to escape the pain. Herein lies the mistake which keeps us bound to the very thing from which we seek release...
Every rose which thrives on the bush must eventually wilt, die, and fall from the stem, making way for yet another bloom. Ceaselessly growing, changing, and renewing, its roots are embedded deeper and more stable each season, with branches stretching stronger and more securely toward the sun for nourishment. The rose bush does not resist the process, grieving its dead and fallen flowers. It surely rejoices at the opportunity to continue living and blooming anew, knowing that each season it survives adds greater stamina and fortitude, not only to produce more beauty, but also to endure the next season of shedding and pruning. The rose bush intuitvely knows to thrust its roots, without question, firmly into furtile soil, to reach with all its might towards the sun, and with the will to survive, it worships its life-giving source. To resisit nature's pruning would surely mean death. Like ourselves, the rose bush was once small and frail, dancing with uncertainty through its first harsh season. Yet, as it limply swayed and bended with the forceful winds of change, its roots became more determined to grow deeper, its stems to extend higher. With each passing season of loss and renewal, it gained vitality and stamina, allowing the winds to blow away its dead and inhibiting layers without being broken beneath the force of the very event designed to make way for new life.
I know many people who seem to live fairly comfortable lives, without many upsets or devastating heartaches. I once looked upon these folks with envy, angry about my sorry lot in life -- a rocky marriage which meant so much to me, a father with cancer, divorce, single parenthood, aloneness, and then this thing called lupus. Beneath all the anger and jealously awaited the silent, yet deadly vipor known as fear. The fear of being alone, fear of failing to raise respectable children without a father, fear of losing my own father in death, and the fear of what lupus was doing and would do within my body.
I finally surrendered my internal battle with desperately seeking human comfort and understanding, and began to walk into the unknown by faith. Holding only God's hand, I traveled through the thorns and briars of grief, mourning the loss of the life I once knew, before sickness, before aloneness, before endless responsibilities and uncertainties. And most of all, I grieved my shattered illusions... dreams die hard, slow and painful deaths. Yet, I determined within myself that I did not need sympathy nor would I allow anger to rob my peace of mind, but rather to find spiritual strength through the storm.
Pretending to be brave, I clung to my Creator's promise of love, trudging passed the frightening shadows of despair and isolation. I then held on tightly to God, took a deep breath, and allowed myself to experience the pain. Rather than resisting the painful changes, I asked what I could learn from the experience. As a result, I found that God gave me the endurance to face and overcome my fears and anger, while proving His ability and willingness to uphold me, protect, guide, and love me. As I once ran from the pain and fear, I was also running from the gifts these were offering me. By accepting them, I was given the opportunity to develop more trust in God, to find inner strength I never knew I had, to receive the endurance to face future troubles, and to gain the assurance that if God can see me through all this, then He can surely love me through anything else tomorrow may bring. Fear and anger were replaced with peace, joy, and gratitude, and a dependance upon God which affords me a greater sense of independance than I'd ever known before.
Dr. Amy Feld is a Child Psychologist who is functionally-disabled due to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyaligia. In her desire to utilize and share her education, Amy has established an extensive site covering many issues in effective parenting skills and Child Psychology.
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So-called "problems" are gifts wrapped in ugly paper. We focus so much on our dislike of the outward appearance that we miss the present inside! Within these packages I have found avenues of purpose and usefulness, as these "problems" enable me to help others with similar experiences. Personal experience is truly our greatest asset. Having problems and various heartaches gives each one of us a reason to reach out to God, a demand for personal growth, and the fulfillment of our innate yearning for truth and unity with one another. At my worst times of sickness, I get on my knees and thank God for allowing me the experience, knowing full well the pain is worth the rewards. For while physical pain remains, my mind and soul are now at peace.
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