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The Splendor of Gender
A Sense of Pain
Life, we cling to it, cherish it, value it -- especially when it is our own. Why are there so many who would take this away, simply because we are who we are?
As I was completing the last page, my thoughts and emotions were abruptly distracted by the news of a young man, Matthew Shepard, brutally murdered for being gay. As I read the email news coming in and the updates of his condition I felt a great pain in my heart, I was moved to tears. Tears of pain, loss, grief and tears of frustration, anger and disbelief.
What great and terrible thing had this youth of 22 years committed? What horrendous and evil deed had he done? Nothing, save for be himself. We, as a "civilized" people value life so dearly that we wage battles at the polls to end the death penalty or to block assisted suicide or to protect the unborn who cannot speak for themselves. I wonder where are some of these same people to stand up and scream in anger over the loss of life because of someone else's hate. The victim was not an aggressor, he was, just simply was.
And as if this were not enough, the "ex-gay" and some of the religious right at this same time strongly oppose the addition of sexual minorities to the Hate Crimes Bill. "They" do not want "us" to have special privileges, especially since we can change. It is as if to say, if you want "protection" you must become one of us -- sounds to me like the threats of old, the Inquisition, the witch hunts. Since when is one's life a negotiable commodity? Since when is the value of any human life dependant on passing someone else's criteria?
Perhaps it is because of who I am that I find this act (and all hate acts) so unbelievable, so appalling, so far out of what I could possibly imagine as being seen as okay. There is, sadly, a part of me that wishes to see those responsible receive the same punishment, to experience the same level of hate that they showed. To plead and beg and to only be acknowledged by more pain. But, this would not resolve but rather increase the violence, to strengthen the us versus them mentality that exists today.
I wish I had answers, I do not. I only have hope and prayers. I have my friends. I have my belief in myself. I will not forget Matthew, nor the many before, nor the many to follow. They will always be in my mind and in my heart. They will be there to help me stay true to my heart and conviction, to stand up, to defend.
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