FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES
The following
are some wee words of wisdom from the mouths of babes............
Three year old Martin asked his
mother, "Why are you my mommy?"
"Because you grew in my tummy," she told
him.
"How did I eat?" he asked.
She patiently explained that he was fed through an
umbilical cord.
Martin thought for a minute. Then he smiled
brightly.
"I know! On the end of the
umbilical cord, there must have been a fork!"
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Megan and her mother were at a
library desk checking out books. As her mother shuffled through
her wallet looking for her library card,
Megan asked, "Are we going to
buy them?"
Her mother said no and handed her
library card to the librarian.
"Oh," Megan said,
knowingly. "We're charging them."
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Another teacher walked into Allison's classroom,
spoke to her teacher and left.
Five-year-old Allison remarked, "I love the
smell of the perfume that lady was wearing."
Her friend Dennis replied, "Oh, I didn't smell anything. I guess I'm
deaf in my nose."
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When four-year-old Janey's
mother told her thay were going on a trip to Orlando, she had one
question:
"Is that Spanish for
Disney World?"
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Three-year-old Katie gave her
grandmother a birthday card on which she scribbled a design.
Trying to be polite the
grandmother said, "Katie, this is very nice. What does it
say?"
The child answered with
dignity,
"Grandma, I can write, but
I can't read."
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About a year
ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her
four year old son, Brent. He
was asking her why all their relatives from
Wisconsin talk funny and sound
like their noses are always plugged up.
"They think we have an
accent," she replied.
"But they talk funny,
right? They really have the accent"? he asked.
"Everyone talks
differently." She tried to explain. "They think we talk
very slowly and it sounds like our words are all d-r-a-w-n
out"
His eyes opened wide, and he
whispered seriously,
"Oh, no! You mean they
hear funny too?"
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At school five-year-old
Jonathan was complaining about life at home with his
three-year-old brother.
His teacher took him over to a
'feelings chart' that had angry, happy, sleepy, scared, sick, and
silly faces on it.
The teacher told Jonathan to
point out the face that best described how he felt about his
little brother.
Jonathan pointed to the circle
with the yawning face and said, "Sleepy,
because I'm tired of him."
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Five-year-old Mark was watching
a TV show that was almost over. He looked up at his mother and
asked,
"Mommy if the world ended,
would they roll the credits of everybody who ever lived?"
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Four-year-old Donny, whose
mother was pregnant asked Mary Jane to play "mommy and
daddy" with him at school.
"But I don't know how to
play that" said Mary Jane.
"It's easy," Donny
told her. "I'll shave and you throw up."
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Nora went on her first
roller-coaster ride. When her father asked her how she felt, Nora
replied,
"My stomach feels
confused."
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Kevin and Ryan, ages five and
three, were waiting for breakfast one Saturday morning.
As their mother was preparing
some pancakes, the boys began to argue loudly over who
would get the first one from
the griddle. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting
here, he would say,
"Let my brother
have the first
pancake. I can wait," she explained.
Kevin immediately turned to his
younger brother and said, "Okay
Ryan, you be Jesus."
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KIDS JOKES!
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Q: Why did the ghost cross
the road?
A: The chicken got hit by a 16
wheeler.
Q: Why did the punk rocker
cross the road?
A: He got his safety pin caught
on the chicken.
Q: Why did a cow go to
Hollywood?
A: He wanted to become a
MOOOOOOOviestar
Q: What can you say to an
annoying cockroach?
A: "Stop bugging me!"
Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple.
Q: What kind of key can't
open a door?
A: A donkey.
Q: Why do seagulls fly over
the sea?
A: Because if they flew over
the bay they would be called bagulls.
Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Their horns don't work.
Q: What did the spider do in
the computer?
A: He made a webpage.
Q: What do squirrels do
when they fall in love?
A: They go nuts!
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