The constant joint pain just wears me down so much! Worse still is the unbelieveable, incapacitating fatigue which has career-threatening potential for me as a working professional.
Emotionally the worst has got to be not knowing what's going to hit next, even from day to day.
The impact on my family life has been deadly. Through 7 years of repeated episodes of major depression, my wife and I managed to stay together. But after just over a year with Systemic Lupus, she is seeking separation and divorce and I am now living alone for the first time in all of my 36 years. THAT, of course, has been devastating to me mentally and emotionally!
When will the suffering end?
How much more is coming?
Will I still be alive next month?
Will the end come mercifully and quickly, or will I suffer for a lifetime with this horror?
No one knows for certain.
Life is always uncertain and fragile, but Lupus is like having a gun pointed at my head... Is it loaded?
~ Randy Norman ~ Frederick, MD.
