January 31, 1999

I don't know what I'm thinking tonight. Sheryl Crow is blasting in my ears at the moment (I dropped acid on a Saturday night, just to see what the fuss was about- now there's goes the neighborhood @-> I love it), and my computer cen r is astoundingly neat. I've been cleaning. Today, after three years of mindless excuses and sneaky conversation tactics, I let some friends in my house. To be blunt (which is just so unlike me!), I hate playing hostess. So, I'm thinking I won't do this again. From now on, I'm going to stick to my traditional role as conscientious guest. It's so much easier.

Remember that project I told you about? Last night I finally got the space to build it. Now all I need is some specific inspiration, a more extensive knowledge of HTML, a voice, time, and a few miracles. I'm confident that these will all b received by my birthday. Which birthday? I'm not even going to guess. But, I'm happy. And when I'm happy, my Seeds of Thought are happy. Past that, I don't know. Oh, and if you are reading this, are a female, love to write and express yourself in quirky fun ways (specifically through the Internet), and think you might want to work with me on my project, email me I know that the noun 'project' reveals nothing about what I'm talking about, but you must remember that communication is the key to enlightenment.

January is over. We're well on our way into this year. 1999 is my sweet sixteen year. I remember when I was a young cowgirl (complete with leather outfit, hat, and guns), I looked forward to this birthday so much. It was going to be every stereotype-lover's dream. Pink everywhere, high-pitched giggles invading the otherwise pleasant air, chocolate cake with white frosting, beautifully wrapped gifts, and ten girls sitting around me, all decked out in the cutest, yet most mature, outfits t could wish for. And me, one of them. Well, let's just say my world's not as rose-tinted any more. I'm not sure when it happened- maybe it was when I grew out of my cowgirl vest, maybe it was when the Sweet Sixteen make-up went off the market, maybe it w when I realized the only girls that listened to Little Richard and were in love with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were me and my best friend- but my life has kind of skewed from the it's originally anticipated course. For a while, I hated pink. For longer while, I disliked girls. Last year, I decided to show disgust at the word cute, especially when directed at me. At the moment, I don't think I know ten girls who I would want to celebrate my birthday with. Maybe ten people, but that's definitely maybe. The chocolate cake still looks good though. So do the presents, especially if one's an adult size cowgirl outfit (guns, leather, and chocolate- and I'm not even embarrassed.)

Guess what March is? Two things. One, National Women's History Month. Yay! Since I'm almost positive I would never be able to update this place every day, each week I'm going to supply you with seven cool women mini-bios (very mini) and/or acts about women. I can't wait! Two, Pi Day. On March 14 (which is also Einstein's birthday!), I'm celebrating this wonderful number, which is approximately 3.14 (hence, pi day is on 3-14.... get it?), hopefully at 3:14. You should to. I mean, could you really have gotten through sixth grade math without it? But hey, I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

This is my twenty-first entry. I swear, you can even count them. This entry's file name is seeds21.html. I just felt like mentioning that, for those of you who might actually have read them all (and you deserve a whole batch of oversized cupcakes, if you have). And since we already quoted her at the beginning of this thing, why don't we end with some more Sheryl Crow? This is from her new album, The Globe Sessions, and it's called "Mississippi." Here are my favorite parts:

Every step of the way, we walk the line. Your days are numbered, so are mine. Time is piling up, we struggle and we scrape. All boxed in no where to escape...

I've got nothing for you, I had nothing before. Don't even have anything but myself anymore!...

All my powers of expression and thoughts so sublime could never do you justice, reason or rhyme...

Walking through the leaves, falling from the trees, feel like a stranger that nobody sees...

So many things we never will undo. I know your sorry, but I'm sorry too...

Some people will offer you their hand and some won't. Last night I knew you- tonight I don't!...

My ships been split to splinters, it's sinking fast. I'm drowning in the poison- got no future, got no past. But my heart's not heavy- it's light, it's free. I've got nothing but affection for those who sail with me...

Well stick with me baby, and how. Things should start to get interestin', right about now!...

My clothes are wet and tight on my skin, but not as tight as the corner that I painted myself in. I know that fortune is waiting to be kind, so give me your and say you'll be mine!

Well, the only thing that I did wrong- I stayed in Mississippi a day too long!