Self-Acceptance ~ Assignment Five 
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed..." ~
Assignment Five 
Now that we've looked at self-acceptance, what it means to us, and the old ideas which hinder our growth ~ we can move towards attaining self-acceptance and true kinship with our fellows.
While you may have considered Assignment Four to have been the most difficult thing you have done, you may find this one to be just a little more so. It is never easy to look squarely at our pasts, nor at ourselves. Pride and fear always shawdow our vision, preventing us from seeing ourselves and our experiences in an objective manner. This is the importance of Assignment Five. Even though we have faced ourselves honestly and admitted our character faults and secrets we had planned to hide forever, still we are carrying them around. The only way to be free of them is to get rid of them. The very shame and fear which has caused us to want to keep secrets is what prevents us from attaining self-acceptance. The first step towards loving, forgiving, and accepting ourselves is find that at least one other person accepts us for who we are, good and bad.
Most people accept some form of religion and agree that psychology has its truths, but we often take both of these in portions ~ picking and choosing what philosophies and principles we will honor and ignoring or blatantly rebelling against those which we just can't swollow. This is good, provided that we are honestly seeking the truth, and not doing so out of false-pride and fear, which is most commonly the case. Assignment Five involves what is known in religion as "confession", and in psychotherapy as "integration", but here, it is simply refered to as taking out the garbage. If you are truly ready to discover the peace of mind which comes with self-worth and acceptance, then clear your mind of excuses and make a committment to yourself to follow through with this portion of the course.
 
Part One: 
Once you've completed Assignment Four, put it away for a few days, but don't sit on it too long ~ not more than one week. Ask God to bring anything to your mind which you may have forgotten, and if you do remember something, no matter how insignificant it may seem, put it down on paper. Anything which comes to mind is never unimportant. There is a reason why you thought of it, so don't leave it out. And by all means, DO NOT go back and scribble anything out that you've written! Don't worry about things like proper grammar, run-on sentences, paragraph structure, or chronilogical order.. leave it just as it came to you while you were writing.
Reflect on all you've written. Did you notice specific behavior patterns ~ similar reactions to various situations; on-going or repeated difficulties; and repeated choices which landed you in the same types of turmoil time and again? Certainly, some of our behavior patterns are simply a part of our basic personalities, which may not necessarily need changing. However, there are some which have "become" a part of our personality through conditoned responses, and not from our innate character. Whatever the case, if these patterns have caused you problems, or have failed in attaining the desired result, then they obvioulsy aren't serving the purpose.
Note your repetitive actions with respect to each area of love, security, finances, social and professional position, and personal recognition:
Part Two:
It is important that you find a trustworthy person you can confide in, such as a clergyman or therapist. It should never be a close friend, family member, nor spouse. This person needs to be someone who is genuinely concerned about your well-being, and is able to be objective, honest, supportive, and trusted to keep your condidence. However, this individual cannot have any emotional involvement in your life, nor in the lives of anyone close to you. These are the reasons I suggest a clergy or counselor. Secondly, it is "highly" recommended that you choose someone of your own gender. Of course, if you are a woman and you feel the most comfortable with a priest, then this shouldn't be a problem. However, if you are Protestant and would like to use your Pastor or Reverend, I suggest that you consider instead, asking his wife to be your confidant. Because of the emotional nature of this assignment, it is an extremely intimate process, making us very vunerable and suseptible to mis-leading emotions. Far too often we hear of affairs between a professional and a client, such as a counselor, psychiatrist, physician, and even attorney, because all of these services require a certain vunerability on our parts. The last thing we want to do now is get sexually and/or emotionally involved with this person! Of course, if you are not heterosexual, then a person of the opposite sex would be the appropriate choice.
Approach this person, asking for a few moments of their time. Begin by telling them a little about whatever current problems you are going through, which have brought you to the point of being willing to follow through this course. There is obviously a trauma of some sort, or you would have not come this far in the study. Once you have told them just enough to make them aware of the pain you are experiencing, you can then simply say that you are following a spiritual recovery course which promises healing, provided that you follow a few simple actions. Explain that you need someone to whom you can confide your life story in, and ask if he/she would be willing to help you. If this person agrees, ask them to set a day and time at their convenience. Be certain to keep this appointment!!!
Part Three:
Your part is to be completely honest about your past and present, leaving no stone unturned. Abandoned pride and forge ahead despite the fear. It is especially those buried secrets you planned on taking to your grave which you must turn loose of. Secrets keep us sick, and so we must get rid of them, along with all our resentments, shame, and fears. As long as we carry these burdens around with us, we are still having a God-problem. As mentioned earlier in this course, "Every problem is a God-problem, and so, every solution is a God-solution." There is some area you have yet to let go of and trust God to take care of... something you are still trying to control, or telling yourself you "should" have been able to control.
Take your notebook with you to this appointment. Do not think you can just tell it all from memory! Oh no, you must take your notebook and READ everything you've written in Assignment Four... omitting nothing. Before you begin, you may want to give the other person a brief explaination of what you've written, naming the specific lists. Explain that you will be disclosing your most personal and private thoughts, feelings, and actions, which must be held in strict confidence. Then explain your reason for doing this is your desire to be free of negative feelings and find a way to trust God to make everything right in your life. Then sit down, get comfortable, and read everything you've written about your fears, guilt, and resentments; your intimate relationships, your dishonesties, and the ways you have harmed others. And just to give you a little comfort from my own experience with this course, I did this very assignment for the first time 15 years ago, and nothing bad has happened as a result. There have been no negative consequences, and yet, the advantages have been far greater than I could describe. You will just have to experience it for yourself! I have continued this process on a regular basis over the last 15 years, to prevent more "garbage" from piling up in my emotional closet. That is something we will discuss in a later assignment.
Once you have completed Assignment Five, the initial feelings you will probably experience are an adrenelin rush, racing thoughts, uneasiness, and possibly even physical illness, such as headache, nausea, vomiting, and/or diahrrea. You may feel exillerated, or you may feel exhausted. You may feel free instantly, or you may temporarily feel worse about yourself. Each of us react differently to this experience, but the long-term benefits are the same for us all ~ freedom from past regrets, resentments, and shame; freedom from fear and depression; a sense of self-acceptance and true equality that you have probably never known before. You will begin to learn valuable lessons from every experience in your life, the painful as well as the joyful; you will learn new attitudes and behavior patterns; and you will begin to see how even your worst experiences can be used to help someone else. You will find purpose and new meaning to the things which have, to this point, not made sense to you. It is as though you will be given a new pair of glasses, through which you will see much more clearly.
Once you have followed through with Assignment Five, return to this page and read over it again. I suggest that you then proceed immediately to Assignment Six:
 Self-Respect
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Biblical references for Assignment Five:
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