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The Legalities

© 1998

Xena: Closed Captioned for the Humor Impaired

  • 04-27-98

    Yet another Poseidon Adventure for our intrepid heroines & yet another episode commentary.



    Quotes Worthy of Bardliness

    All In A Day's Work:
    "Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives."
    --Gabrielle (Tsunami)

    Going on a Sea Cruise:
    "Guess we are going on a voyage after all."
    --Xena (Tsunami)

    We Could Do It The Hard Way:
    "If you think I would go through all the trouble of having myself caught & chained up ju--"
    "For a chance to bag some diamonds? Yeah, call me crazy."
    --Autolycus & Xena (Tsunami)

    We All Live in a Yellow Submarine:
    "We're trapped inside this sinking ship & your making like the Argonauts!"
    --Macon (Tsunami)

    Miscellany:

    "I'm ready for lunch. I'm gonna crack some heads!"
    Bard Tip #1: When going after some lunch, it is always a good idea to carry your staff like you're going to konk someone on the head with it so they give you a good discount. It helps save your breath so you have your voice later on for doing the bard thing.
    (This comment inspired by the "Gabrielle:Bard of Poteidaia" t-shirt; which really means, "Yeah, I'm a bard, that's why I'm in an attack pose with my staff. So if you don't like my story, I'll thump you on the head.")

    On the Good Ship Lollipop
    Those sailors must've been really engrossed in their hoisting of mainsails & shivering their timbers if they didn't see that huge cloud of smoke on the horizon.

    Tut, Tut! It Looks Like Rain
    Has Thadeus never seen a raincloud?! What makes him think that funnel shaped clouds that are moving like smoke are rain clouds? A more plausible reaction was that some hurricane was heading their way.

    Son of a Bacchae!
    How is it that Gabrielle gets into these messes? We already learned in The Lost Mariner, that water, boats, & her stomach don't mix very well. Now we can move from Algebra to Calculus & cut down the equation a bit to Gabrielle + Boats= Trouble

    Been There, Spun That
    Not only is this ep the Xenaverse's remake of The Poseidon Adventure, but it is also a deja vu of The Lost Mariner. Complete with improbable flip & mandatory Gab in distress.

    Post No Witty Headers
    That tidal wave was kind of lame since it looked more like an enlargement of Hawaii Five-O's opening sequence. If it was as close as it was, wouldn't the ship kinda start getting pulled into the wave? Also if it was head on with the ship instead of broadside, they might've been able to ride the wave out. Maybe. I also had a problem with the directing at the end. When Autolycus picked up the dumb rich guy's necklace, he hesitated like he was trying to think if he was going to keep it or not.
    1. It's not his style. He wouldn't just take it in front of the guy. It's too obvious.
    2. It was ugly anyway & like I said before, Auto would have some elaborate plan to steal this guy's gaudy jewelry, not just take it in front of him.
    This scene just made Autolycus look like some common thief who would be more of a one time guest star that changes his way at the end of the episode. Which Auto is not. After all, he is the King of Thieves.
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