Lorri's Tasteless Tidbits

I know, I know, but would you rather have those annoying pop-up windows?

ALT.TASTELESS ARCHIVES

These are my own selections, based on my own taste (or lack thereof), and what made me bark out a laugh at work. The occasional smirk might even get in here as well. There are also the well-written epitomes of What We All Strive For on A.T. Remember, you're only as good as your last post on a.t., we could give a shit whether you're an oldtimer or new meat.

If you're done, go back to the main page.

ONE SHOT WONDERS

Froggy, our resident French poster, dusts off an offering from his history and manages to dust the SCA at the same time.

Alraune nominates a classic, effective, yet not overly verbose flame by Randy Snott for A.T. Flame of the Year.

A newcomer who is hesitant to divulge his name graces us with the effects of high velocity aircraft on birds.

Fatty C regales us with a memory of an emergency room visit from his undergrad days.

That irritating scalp itch could be more serious, as demonstrated by Teratoma.

Joe Cidoni gives us a description of cleaning up a Finnish tard...

A well-traveled Loflyer explains the Chinese capital punishment system for the edification of a.t.

The Old Bastard entertains us with The Adventures of Kenny and Timmy, two tardlets he observed one day...

Kid Chunder has an archive devoted to nothing but Vomit Boy. Check (pun intended) out some classics of a.t.

In need of a bedtime story? Read the sprogs this delightful tale of a rabbit gone wrong...

SinbadTheSailor, an apparently new poster, describes why confusing Halloween with Christmas, especially at the office party, is not a bright idea.

Another newbie, Numero Nuo, tries to kill passengers on a subway ride.

Lenore Levine creeps us all out with a tale of retribution.

docfarquar rises from the dead and entertains us with a tale of that fateful day in Dallas.

Lord Stevil the Parakeet Shaman entertains us with Shower Day during his brief sojourn at the jolly old Nut House.

CONSISTENT PRODUCERS

The Carrot finally gets his own list of contributions!

In this offering he regales us with a productive lunch hour after becoming re-employed.
What the heck is that! He tells us about a dick zit he had as a young sprout.
Obviously angling for an ambassadorial post, Our Boy explains his plan for Domination and Exploitation of Mexico once we invade and subjugate them...
Finding an way to make his lunch hours pay, he shows us that government conspiracies can be found pretty close to home...
Veteran's Day was celebrated in a Carrotly way with a trip to the seaside...
How to get rid of a leech of an SR once and for all...

Citizen Ted provides us with reports from A.T.'s own Institute for Armchair Anthropology:

A treatise on Muscletards encountered during A.T.'s trouncing of Marin Phenice Heiskell.
A thoughtful dissection of Sis Sparki, a here-today-gone-tomorrow aspirant in the A.T. Attrition Bowl.
The well-received observations on A.T.'s own 1998 Whipping Boy, Aqird Tast, last seen under the impression alt.test was his own personal on-line diary.
Report of follow-up experimentation and conclusions reached regarding Olestra, as well as a repost of the original findings.
A keyboard-challenged refugee from alt.teens calling herself Bat!Girl is considered and categorized.
Chris Alsan, who claims to have lurked in a.t. for 5 years, is summarily dealt with by ArmAnthro, Inc.
The latest plague visited upon a.t., calling itself Doltichell, is classified after a long observation period.

Wes Payne, our friendly neighborhood misanthrope, regularly entertains us with various and sundry posts. Here are a few:

Wes's cat was experiencing some incontinence problems a while ago....
Then the little bastard got sick....
But he came back home...
Piss revenge is sweet!
Wes flames Doltichell in a truly masterful manner. Unfortunately, she's too stupid to die...

Look at this! Now Bughunter has a section of his own! See what happens when you're a consistently entertaining A.T. poster...

Ever wonder if high altitudes, eggnog, and starved boat people mix? Bughunter knows the answer...
True to his name, he locates the mysterious source of those lively grains of rice next to his couch.

Cats undoubtedly provide a.t. with some of it's better posts. Here are several for your enjoyment:

Here's one detailing the results of tomcattery.
Wes's cat's ancestry gives him reason to consider his personal safety in this start to a thread...
Mark's submission to the thread illustrates why you should let the cat have the chair!
Randy Snott shows it's a cat-eat-dog world...
Swan speculates on the drawbacks of owning a cat with a cleft palate...
Killer catshit enlivens Jesse Brink's domestic life.

Duke Henry Plantagenet (yes! we have peerless tasteless peers here, dear...)has his own section:

Here he presents us with this engaging vignette of working in a dental supplies warehouse.
His Grace flames quite elegantly, too. Observe him administer clues to Scott Nieto and road_kill

A new kid on the (chopping) block, Kent aka PathologyBoy, is not only an accredited member of the medical profession, but is blessed with both a desire to share his experiences and the ability to string words together in an intelligent manner:

His first contribution details an autopsy he was privileged to witness and kind enough to report on to the hyenas in a.t....
A followup to an ObT turns into a case history and some ruminations on genetics gone wrong.

Swan, of Rat&Swan, is an A.T. old timer and always good for a quality post:

Swan records an episode in his and Rat's love life and puts paid to the gerbil-up-the-ass myth in one fell swoop.
Swan gets a little worked up over the recent activities in the White Ho-House.

Bit Decay, a true Southern gentleman, enters the consistency arena:

If you're somewhat lax in your contact lens care, perhaps you should read what happened to Bit Decay and go clean your lenses....
Here he administers a gentle admonition to some jizzwad named Tim Brown.

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