Movie Reviews (O-T)

Oliver! (10/10)
Starring: Jack something-or-other, that's about the extent of my knowledge!
Plot: Orphan ends up being 'adopted' by a troup of pickpockets who do a lot of singing and not much picking.
Best Bit: The songs. 'You've gottopickapocketortwo" kills me. I also love the end song sung by Fagan and Dodger but it's not on the s'track. D'oh!
Worst Bit: For some reason I keep thinking Fagan dies when the jewelssink into the mud, like he tries to go after them. I don't know why. I aslo can't stand the scene where Bill(?) kicks the dog around. Doesn't he kill it? Bastard!

The Opposite of Sex (7/10)
Starring: Christina ‘buxom whench’ Ricci, the guy from ‘Roseanne’, Lisa ‘scowly’ Kudrow, Lyle ‘twisted tree root’ Lovett.
Plot: Girl moves in with her gay brother-in-law and starts relationship with his partner.
Best Bit: Can’t remember.
Worst Bit: Ricci’s sarcasm got on my nerves after a while, especially with the voiceovers.
Verdict: Thought it would be funnier. Lyle Lovett is ugly but he’s not a bad actor. I find Kudrow’s acting annoying.
Overnight Delivery (6/10)
Starring: Paul ‘sideburn’ Rudd, Reese ‘not Reis-that was my gay Nazi History teacher’ Witherspoon, the girl who played Marcia in the Brady Bunch movie.
Plot: Guy sends something to his gf by mistake and he follows the delivery truck in the hope of getting it before she does.
Best Bit: Reese’ fashion.
Worst Bit: The movie!
Verdict: It’s frivolous and corny. Not recommended unless you’re a big fan of either star’s.

Patriot Games (7/10)
Starring: Harrison 'de ja vu' Ford, can't remember.
Plot: Same as any other Harrison Ford film. Has a family and a high paying, important government-linked job, there's trouble and his family's in danger. Gotta save the family! Guns, running, chasing, a few deaths, heroics and ta da, all is well in the end.
Best Bits: I think they had those goggles that see in the dark. They're pretty nifty. But why green? It's always either green or red, isn't it?
Worst Bit: That feeling of de ja vu.
Changes: I'd like to see Harry play a gay character, or a pimp, or a drug dealer, or y'know, something different!
Verdict: Ah, it's always the same. It's the same everyday.

The Pelican Brief (8.5/10)
Starring: Julia 'mega mouth' Roberts, Denzel 'I can't believe he's over 45!'Washington
Plot: Woman stumbles onto some conspiray thing and poeple are out to get her before she exposes them, I think.
Best Bit: Denzel.
Worst Bit: Julia's mouth.
Verdict: Not bad. Keeps you interested until the end.
Phantoms (6.5/10)
Starring: Joanna ‘looks like Alyssa Milano!’ Going, Ben ‘clefty’ Affleck, Rose McGowan, Live Schreiber, Peter O’Toole.
Plot: Ancient creature is devouring and then assuming the shape of whatever it’s absorbed-ugh.
Best Bit: Err…no mushy stuff?
Worst Bit: Wasn’t scary!
Changes: I reckon Rose’s character should have been ‘one of them’ y’know, you just get to see a strange glint in her eyes and all.
Verdict: Pretty crappy!
Pitch Black (8/10)
Starring: That Aussie girl from Love and Other Catastrophies, Claudia Black(she was in some crappy Aussie sitcom then she moved on to ‘Farscape’!), Vin ‘sounds like a car’ Diesel, not many well known people at all really.
Plot: People land on desolate planet with three suns thinking that there’s no night but find out strange bloodthirsty creatures come out in the shadows and there’s an eclipse on the way!
Best Bit: The special effects were pretty good considering it apparently had a small budget. Like the night vision (esp. the guy’s eyes) and the eclipse of the suns sequence. Riddick was a cool character. And the surprise death near the end no one expects! Aussie accents!
Worst bit: Also the surprise death at the end no one expects cos she was cool!
Changes: Why didn’t they just make a big ol’ bonfire?
Verdict: Atmospheric, thrilling, some funny lines, good acting and some genuine scares. I liked it!

Planet of the Apes (9/10)
Starring: Charlton Heston and no one else I know.
Plot: Space traveller ends up in the planet of the apes.
Best Bit: The whole idea is so bizarre.
Worst Bit: None really. But the 'hearing' was pretty frustrating to wit through cos their so stubborn!
Verdict: This is a brilliant film. A unique idea that spawned into a whole series. Tho' I don't think Charlton stuck around for any of the sequels. He looks really old. All those actors looked old when they were young. Weird. I can't believe I hadn't seen this movie until a few days ago! Tho' I really don't understand the obsession that a lot of people have with it. Reminds me of the sketch on SNL with William Shatner. Funny! I don't want to offend anybody (ha!) so I won't say anything more.

Pleasantville (8.5/10)
Starring: Tobey 'didn't he look like a complete nerd a few years ago?!' Maguire, Reese 'fork' Witherspoon, Jeff 'chipmunk-like' Daniels, William 'chameleon-like' H.Macy, who was that olg guy? Not Gilligan but in that same time frame?
Plot: Brother and sister end up on/in the fictitious town of Pleasantville, a fifties(?) tv series where everything is perfect, until they show up.
Best Bit: All the basketballs fall into the hoop. "You're the keenest!" How he keeps saying "Honey, I'm home" in all the rooms and "where's my dinner?!". Crack up. How they deal with the changes. The mentioning of 'Catcher in the Rye'.
Worst Bit: Seeing the ugly side to change. Especially when they're taunting the mother. Not nice! And I would have thought theat guy (the first to have sex in the entire history of Pleasantville, might I add!) would have been among the first people to embrace the change! But then he wanted to burn books and complain when Mary Sue didn't want to "you know". Dumbass!
How Jennifer stays on. As if! Escapism or something.
Verdict: Pretty cool idea. I liked the changes from black and white to colour. It's 'quaint'. It's pretty funny seeing all the changes and how they adjust to them but it was also a bit depressing cos, sure it means more diversity and individuality but it's not always pretty, right? You see vandalism and violence and prejudice...I guess it's just part of life. D'oh.
Oh, and Tobey Maguire is really good. I liked him much better with the daggy hairstyle rather than the 'shaggy dog' look.

Warning: Spoiler!
Primal Fear (9/10)
Starring: Richard 'button nose' Gere, Edward Norton, Laura Linney, Frances McDormand, the wife from Liar Liar but with brown hair.
Plot: Hot shot lawyer defends "alleged" priest-killer alter boy with stutter.
Best Bit: Edward Norton is great!! 'Roy' was so cool! Funny how R.Gere whispers "Roy? Aaron" in the courtroom. Killed me when he lunges for L.Linney! Also the end bit when he gets caught out and starts applauding ol' Rich.
Worst Bit: I guessed the ending before R.Gere even walked out of Aaron's cell after their first meeting! A bit like The Usual Suspects. But doesn't that mean that Aaron's "third person-shadow-leaning over the archbishop" story doesn't make sense?
Verdict: A very abrupt anding I thought. I wanted to see more of Roy in court. Ah well. It's still a good movie and even if you guessed what was going on (like me) it's still pretty cool. So check it out! How old was Ed when they made this? Probably 25! (better than being 30 and playing a 17 year old like on 90210/Party of Five/most American teen series!)
Prison (6.5/10)
Starring: All unknowns, at least to me anyway.
Plot: Hey, it’s set in a >i?prison.
Best Bit: There was a cute kid who looked a little like Jesse Bradford.
Worst Bit: Um, I can’t really remember what happened!
Verdict: Small budget and it shows. I think there was some lightning and electric shocks and of course the typical prison riot-or was that some other prison film?

Psycho (10/10)
Starring: Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, don't know anyone else!
Plot: Girl is on the run after stealing money and ends up staying the night in the motel from hell.
Best Bit: The dramatic music works well with the pivotal scenes. Anthony Perkins was pretty cool.
Worst Bit: None really.
Verdict: The first time I saw this it was a dark and stormy night! So that made it all the more enjoyable. It's a claaassic(that art/pimp guy played by Dan Ackroyd on SNL). Don't worry about any of the intellectualization of this film-the camera angles etc-just enjoy it for what it is; a movie meant to entertain and shock, okaaay?! Actually, Scream copied the concept of killing off the major star in the first few minutes with Drew Barrymore-which I know I wasn't expecting!
(8/10)
Starring: John Travolta, Samuel L.Jackson, Steve Buscemi, Uma Thurman, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Rosanna Arquette, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth, Christopher Walken.
Plot: Here goes! Two hitmen, a briefcase with mystery contents, a bloody car, a weird woman, a boxer, and some other characters intertwine and mingle in a criss-cross plot accompanied by some cool music.
Best Bit: The music. "propiiietor of a hash bar" "bacon tastes goood. Pork chops taste goood"
Worst Bit: The bit where Harvey Keitel comes in cos it looks like it's just an excuse to get Harvey Keitel in!
Verdict: Pretty cool. But I wouldn't call it the best movie in the world!

Radio Days (7.5/10)
Starring: Mia ‘who else?’ Farrow, can’t remember! All the usual Allen people.
Plot: About the days when radio was the only entertainment.
Best Bit: The voice overs. Behind-the-scenes stuff of radio and especially the sound effects!
Worst Bit: Got confused with Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter!!!
Verdict: Enjoyable Woody Allen-esque comedy. You can tell he really does miss those good ol’ days.

‘Rajio no Jikan’ (Radio Time)(7.5/10)
Starring: the pudgy guy from ‘Sumo Do, Sumo Don’t’ and ‘Shall We Dance’! Other ppl who look familiar but whose names I don’t know.
Plot: Housewife wins screenplay contest and a chance to see it come to life on radio but problems arise.
Best Bit: All the changes that the actors want that make the original script completely irrelevant. The sound effects guy looked like he was doing some sort of ritualistic dancing!
Worst Bit: The pudgy guy needed more screentime! I think he’s cool!
Verdict: I thought this was entertaining and some good acting too. A bit like Radio Days especially when the old guy teaches the new sound guy how it was done in the old days.

Raising Arizona (7/10)
Starring: Nicolas ‘he had hair!’ Cage, Holly Hunter, Frances McDormand, John Goodman.
Best Bit: Weird.
Worst Bit: Kind of too ‘out there’ for me.
Verdict: It just didn’t interest me too much. Probably cos I don’t really like babies. I think this was a Coen brothers film.

Warning! Spoiler.
Raising Cain (8/10)
Starring: John ‘he’s so good at being bad’ Lithgow…
Plot: Twisted.
Best Bit: The bit until you realise that they’re the same person. John is pretty darn cool.
Worst Bit: The cheating wife-bitch! But also the bit where she’s at the police station with her ‘boyfriend’ when she really should be ashamed to be with him cos she’s like, still married and all.
Verdict: Pretty good. Borrows heavily from Al Hitch, but who cares? It’s got a sense of humour.

Ravenous (7/10)
Starring: Guy 'square jaw' Pierce, Robert Carlyle, the big guy, David 'squinty' Arquette.
Plot: Cannibals, cannibals.
Best Bit: When they go exploring in the cave and the guy sees a military uniform among the remains.
Worst Bit: That idiot that just stood there while all his mates are getting killed. He drops his gun and runs like a sissy. Imbecile! Towards the ending it got a bit too ridiculous.
Verdict: Not enough twists. Needed something more. I wonder if human flesh is even tasty? Weird thought. Robert Carlyle gets around!

Ransom> (6/10)
Starring: Mel 'e's gone all yank' Gibson, Rene 'kind of a weird face' Russo, Gary 'thick neck' Sinese, Lili 'she's everywhere' Taylor, Donald 'Donnie NKOTB(say it 'nuhkohtabuh')' Wahlberg.
Plot: Kid gets kidnapped and instead of paying the ransom to the kidnappers, dad decides to use it as a bounty on the kidnappers' heads.
Best Bit: Seeing Donnie Wahlberg-he was actually pretty good!
Worst Bit: Kidnappers almost got away with it and then they spoilt it. Stupid pissy kid!
Verdict: I've never liked Mel Gibson and I disliked him even more in this movie. In fact he was the worst character of all! What a numnut!

The Real Blonde (7.5/10)

Red Corner (7.5/10)
Starring: Richard ‘squinty’ Gere, the Chinese chick, Chinese dudes.
Plot: American is framed for murder and it’s a hard slog proving his innocence in the Chinese courts.
Best Bit: No mushy stuff.
Worst Bit: Frustration!
Verdict: Not a bad movie. A bit heavy going. You definitely feel the frustrations and limitations of the Chinese justice system, but all ends well. That woman is so small!

The Relic (5/10)
Starring: Penelope Anne Miller, the little scary woman, Michael Madsen look-a-like
Plot: Archaeologist brings back monster from the Amazon (probably not but it usually is) and it survivies on human brains or what's in it.
Best Bit: Penelope Anne Miller being tough but feminine.
Worst Bit: Considering the size of the creature you'd think it could eat a little more than just the brain! It's like, a waste! All these monster movies have monsters that supposedly survive on human flesh but they never eat the whole person up! It's rude not to clean your plate!
Verdict: Starts off with a pretty intriguing storyline but then it just dies. I felt sorry for the guy that turned into the thing. I thought it'd have some human feelings and would let her go or something.
(9.5/10)
Starring: Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn, Quentin Tarantino.
Plot: A bunch of guys are put together to pull a robbery but it all just goes horribly wrong and there's a lot of cool music too.
Best Bit: The music. My discovery of Steve Buscemi!

"dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick"
 "how many dicks is that?"
 "a lot"

The River Wild (9/10)
Starring: Meryl 'jack of all trades' Streep, Kevin 'pinchy nose' Bacon, that guy with a weird neck, the other dim wit who was also in Nightwatch.
Plot: Family river kyak turns into river of hell after meeting ol' Kev & mate. Best Bit: The dog was smart. Whattagooddog, yes he is. (reminiscent of Paul Pfeiffer and Fluffy, the hamster)
Worst Bit: Why were those two on the river anyway? Was that like a way through to Canada or something?
Verdict: Kind of cool and exciting and different up until about 30 minutes before the ending. But wasn't there some other movie like this made earlier?! Same title even?

Romeo + Juliet (9/10)
Starring: Leonardo 'puny chest' Dicaprio, Claire 'round nose' Danes, Jesse Bradford, Pete 'thay it with a lithp Pothelwaite', Paul 'big nose' Sorvino, Harold Perrineau, that guy from Scream (he was also an extra in DPS!!!! It's ironic that he seems to be doing better than anyone else, besides Ethan and Robin, who was a star before DPS anyway), who else?
Plot: As if I needed to tell you! It's a tragic love story, just in case you didn't know!
Best Bits: The music. The whole modernisation. The funky clothes. Harold Perrineau. Jesse Bradford.
Worst Bits: The hype and publicity. Jesse's role was too small!
Verdict: Cool! Hip and happenin'.

Salem's Lot (4/10)
Starring: I think there was one of those teen idol types in this. Like a Corey Haim or something.
Plot: Vampires slowly take over a small town.
Best Bit: There wasn't one.
Worst Bit: There were lots. Wasn't scary at all.
Verdict: It was like a joke how bad it was, I must say. Based on a S.King novel. Pretty much every movie adaptation has been crap except for Carrie!

(9/10)
Starring: Neve Campbell, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Skeet Ulrich, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, the Fonze!
Plot: Sendup of all those horror movies, good and bad!
Best Bit: Matthew Lillard. He's pretty funny/cool. I used to like David Arquette! But now I don't.
Worst Bit: Courtney Cox's legs, they're bandy!
Changes: Dewey deserves someone better than Gale!
Verdict: Pretty cool. I've always loved horror so this was a real treat. The teen flick is definitely back!

Scream 2 (9.5/10)
Starring: Neve, Dave, Liev, Court, Heather Graham, Jerry O'Connell, that Roseanne woman and some other dudes. Apparently Matthew Lillard makes a guest appearance in the party scene!
Plot: He's baaack!
Best Bit: The convo between Randy and Duey in the cafeteria plus the Stab excerpt with Tori 'what's the story?' Spelling.
Worst Bit: Duey has a limp thing happening. Distracting! Cortney's legs!
Verdict: Better than the first one-funnier. There's a movie called The Last Horror Movie (I think) and it's a crappy B-grade thing but the Cannes Film Festival is the setting and there's a horror movie in it called Stab!!!! I reckon Wes must've taken this for sure. I betcha nobody knows about it either!

Warning: Spoiler!
Set It Off (7.5/10)
Starring: Vivica 'and she is!' A.Fox, Jada 'sounds like some weird invention from the 20s or something' Pinkett, Queen 'her name means 'delicate' or something which she is certainly not!' Latifah, the sooky girl, Blair 'for some reason I picture him with a white jumper on' Underwood.
Plot: Bunch of black women decide to rob a bank, and then another one and then they run into the law.
Best Bit: Thinking about all that money. Queen Latifah-she's always good!
Worst Bit: Most of them die. Sad. Salt water welled in my eyes-but I wasn't full on crying, mmokay?!
Verdict: I only saw this from when the sooky girl lost her baby so that's when they decided that they had to rob a bank. I didn't even know what it was called. Saw it on Optus cable-I din't even know that we had that channel! I just happened to be flicking through the channels and to my surprise we had an extra 5 channels! I hope they don't expect us to pay for these extra-curricular channels that we did not authorize! Haha dig that! Plus, we don't even get the stupid magazine so I don't know what's on when anyway. Crap. They used to include that in the monthly thingo but then they wanted to charge us extra for the mag. Crap! Sux! Plus they upped the price of the Japanese channel, and we're only with Optus because of that. Crap!

7 Up (9/10)

Starring: John, Andrew, Neil, Susie, Charles and all the other little 'uns.
Plot: Well, it's a doco.
Best Bit: Undecided but here are some hilights:
John: Stop it at once!
.....
Andrew: They were a bit too rough for my liking. Somebody hit me in the back and I've still got a pain thar.(phonetic)
.....
Neil: If I an't be an astronaut I want to be a coach driver.
.....
Tony: I go to bed at 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock. [all the others go to bed at 6 or 7!]
.....
Andrew: I read the Financial Times.
John: I read the Observer and the Times.
Charles: What do you like about it?
John: Well, I look at the headlines...and then I read about the, about it.
.....
?: I'm going to work in Woolworfs.
Worst Bit: Susie is racist!
Verdict: It's cool!

21 Up (8.5/10)
Starring: The whole gang-yay!
Plot: They’re 21!
Best Bit: Seeing how they changed so much.
Worst Bit: What happened to Charles?! Sad. He was so cute when he was younger. Poor Neil! Two married already!
Verdict: A very good age to visit them again. On the verge of adulthood and all. They all seemed a lot more mature than me at that age.

28 Up (8/10)
Starring: Most of the gang.
Plot: They’re now 28!
Best Bit: Seeing most of them married wand to find out Susie had finally found contentment. She looked set to become a dropout.
Worst Bit: Poor Neil!
Verdict: Makes you wonder about your own successes and failures.

35 Up (8/10)
Starring: Most of the fang.
Plot: They’re now 35!
Best Bit: Can’t remember. The book was good.
Worst Bit: Neil was worse off. He looked about to cry. Symon, Charles and the schoolteacher and former childhood pal of Neil’s, weren’t in it. Andrew was balder. John looked weird. Sue, Lynn and Jackie all got fatter.
Verdict: Each one gets longer cos they always include earlier footage that we’ve seen a hundred times before. But it’s addictive viewing.

Shallow Grave (7/10)

Starring: Ewan 'yacannabuybettathanMrs' Mcgregor(is that his name? Gone blank), a woman that reminds me of Judy Davis, and some bespectacled dude.
Plot: Flatmates find loads of cash that belonged to their now dead other flatmate and they go out and spend it.
Best Bit: The plot sounds pretty good don't it? Perhaps their interviews trying to choose a fourth flatmate.
Worst Bit: The bespectacled dude goes all sisnister and paranoid. What happened? Doesn't really make much sense.
Verdict: I thought this was supposed to be a comedy but I didn't find it funny. Certainly it had potential but it lacked personality and "personality goes a long way..."

The Shawshank Redemption (8.5/10)
Starring: Tim 'foetus' Robbins, 'Somerset' Morgan 'big nose' Freeman, that mean bespectacled guy-where else have I seen him? Has he played an Indian guy?
Best Bit: His escape and how he did it. That poster of Raquel Welch-she looked fantastic!
Worst Bit: That old huy kills himself.
Verdict: Pretty cool. Like I said before, all escape-from-prison movies are cool.

She-Devil (8/10)
Starring: Meryl Streep, Roseanne Barr, the guy, the kiddies, the guy from ‘Santa Barbera’!
Plot: Husband leaves wife for glamorous romance novelist and wife plans and executes her revenge.
Best Bit: Seeing Meryl Streep have to do unglamorous things.
Worst Bit: The mole on Rosanne’s face-but she gets rid of it later. Also her hair at the start!
Verdict: Fun movie with lots of silly stuff. Very 80s fashion!

Shooting Fish (9/10)
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Dan Futterman, Stuart Townsend
Plot: Two loveable conmen and a girl and lots of money.
Best Bit: Definitely the Leslie scene "Who's Leslie?" "Leslie is dead! Take it like a man!" and he slaps him in the face and Jez starts srying. Killed me bad! Also, a very cool 'pad', I must say.
Worst Bit: Those weird sideburns. A bit too corny how the other guy falls for the sister!
Verdict: At first I thought this was going to be some soppy, crappy, British style love story...but it was cool! Funny and fun. The opening theme song is by Space! Kate Beckinsale (I keep saying Blanchett!) looks so much better than her Much Ado days! Some good tunes. Jez was sweet! (not sweeet)
Since You've Been Gone (6.5/10)
Starring: David 'puppy god' Schwimmer, Marisa Tomei, Liev Schreiber, Jennifer Grey, Lara Flynn Boyle, Jerry Springer,
Plot: Centered around a 10 year Highschool reunion.
Best Bit: The gay gay and the scenes where he's dancing with someone's wife and she's trying to point out potential boyfriends for him but he rejects them all. The old lady in the store scene. Love Jones were in it!
Worst Bit: The repertoire of LJ wasn't that great. Reminded me of the Wedding Singer-ala Culture Club.
Verdict: It was ok, not great. The most interesting bit for me, was that David Schwimmer directed it!

Singin' in the Rain' (10/10)
Starring: Gene 'he's pretty short' Kelly, Donald 'cut as a button' O'Conner, Debbie 'I can't believe she was 19 and couldn't dance' Reynolds.
Plot: The transition of Hollywood pictures from the silent era into the um, non-silent era with a whole lot of singin' goin' on. And of course when he's singin' in the rain!! I betcah they shot that in one go, cos that's the way things used to be in the good ol' days.
Best Bit: Donald O'Conner. He was cute! And when they discover what a terrible voice that actress has but she's taking voice lessons and all. All the problems with sound they experience.
Worst Bit: Donald never gets the girl.
Changes: None whatsoever! Well, I would have liked to see the girl fall for Don.
Verdict: It's such a brilliant movie. It makes you feel all happy and want to run outside and start dancing like an idiot with an umbrella whenever it rains. It's got humour and class. Plus, it's a pretty cool insight into the actual problems that faced studios at the time. It's educational, man!

Six Days, Seven Nights (6.5/10)
Starring: Anne ‘stick insect’ Heche, Harrison ‘he’s the same every day’ Ford, David ‘puppy dog’ Schwimmer.
Plot: Boy and girl plan to marry but girl gets stranded on island with pilot and is feared dead.
Best Bit: Anne Heche is pretty sassy. I liked the bit where they’re rebuilding the plane. Reminded me of Robinson Crusoe!
Worst Bit: Harrison Ford is too old.
Verdict: It’s ok, has some funny bits (not too funny). I don’t think I saw the ending so I don’t know if they ended up together or not! Well, at least I can’t spoil it for you.

Six Degrees of Separation (9/10)
Starring: Stockard Channing, Will Smith, Donald Sutherland, can’t remember.
Plot: Black guy pretends to be Sidney Poitier’s son and weasles his way into wealthy socialites’ life and changes their lives.
Best Bit: The Catcher in the Rye theory-thesis was cool! Although that was something I’d already picked up on.
Worst Bit: I can’t believe he had the nerve to bring his ‘boyfriend’ into a stranger’s house and have sex at a time when people would be getting up for breakfast or whatever-I mean he’s not even who he says he is!
Verdict: Wow! Clever, a bit far-fetched but entertaining. Different. I really enjoyed it.

The Sixth Sense (8.5/10)
Starring: Toni ‘she’s Aussie!’ Collette, Bruce ‘oh my god, he doesn’t have a gun’ Willis, lil’ Haley Joel.
Plot: Pipsqueak is cursed with being able to see dead people and is not surprisingly considered a freak by all.
Best Bit: Donnie Wahlberg-wow, what a shock! How far has he come since NKOTB, eh? (say it “nuhkohtuhbuh”). Toni! Reluctantly, the little runt is good too.
Worst Bit: I guessed the ‘shock’ ending months in advance. Damn. How could ol’ Bruce wander around for almost a year and not realise that no one ever talks to him?
Verdict: Pretty slick and creepy. Great performances. Unusual story. A bit slow to get going.

Slacker (6/10)
Starring: A whole heap of unknowns.
Plot: No plot-just follows one person to the next and only spends a few minutes with each character.
Best Bit: I liked the first guy talking about other realities-that’s the director! It reminded me of those ‘pick-a-path’ books I used to read as a kid! (you know the ones that let you decide what to do next and you get a whole different ending depending on the ‘path’ you choose)
Worst Bit: Got a bit tedious after a while. The strange music and the blurred vision in the bar scenes were a headache.
Verdict: Bizarre, strange, different, unique.

Sleepers (8/10)
Starring: Brad 'moody' Pitt, Minnie 'somehow I've never liked her in anything besides Cirle of Friends' Driver, Kevin 'pig nose' Bacon(pig-bacon haha!), Robert de Niro, Brad 'cutey' Renfro, Jason Patric, Dustin 'the nose' Hoffman.
Plot: Four kids end up in a detention for boys after a prank that goes wrong. They meet the 'warden from hell' but get their payback.
Best Bit: Brad Renfro.
Worst Bit: The revenge thing was over too quickly. It's gotta be slow and painful and redemption-like. Kevin's character had to recognise who they were and feel some sort of guilt or anger or something. Don't just shoot him and that's it! Think Death and the Maiden, think Teaching Mrs(?) Tingle!

Sliver (8/10)
Starring: Sharon Stone, Billy Baldwin.
Plot: Woman meets man who may be a killer and with a voyeuristic fetish to boot.
Best Bit: Seeing all the people in their apartments-it's like cable tv! You end up thinking Billy Baldwin could be kinda hot by the end of the flick.
Worst Bit: None that comes to mind.
Verdict: It's actually not bad. Gets a bit confusing tho' or maybe I just watched it too long ago.

Small Faces (6/10)
Starring: Dunno.
Plot: About a kid and his family and growing up or something.
Best Bit: The accents perhaps.
Worst Bit: Probably the fact that it's not the type of movie to see at a sleepover.
Verdict: What can I say? Apparently it was supposed to have been good but because I watched it a sleepover I couldn't really get into it. It was set in Ireland, I think. All about a kid and the hard times he goes through. Maybe it was good, I don't know. Give it a go and see.

Smoke(10/10)
Starring: Harvey Keitel, William Hurt, Harold Perrineau, Stockard Channing, Ashley Judd.
Plot: Hard to pin down! A writer with writer's block, a guy that introduces himself as someone different to each new person he meets, a corner store owner with a dream and a strange hobby, an estranged ex-lover and a long lost daughter and a guy with one arm somehow seem to make sense in this witty and charming movie.
Best Bit: The little stories told by the various characters. Especially the one about the son being older than the father. Just watch it!
Worst Bit: How the daughter is so awful and screwed up.
Verdict: Like I said, the plot is really hard to explain but it's a really cool film. It's like, nostalgic or something. I dunno. I loved it. Ashley Judd first came to my attention in this. And I later realised that Harold Perrineau was Mercutio in Romeo & Juliet! He looks completely different!

Soul Food (7/10)
Starring: Vanessa 'looks like she has marbles for eyes in that doll-like way' Williams and stuff.
Plot: A family and their traditional family dinners and family problems and shit.
Best Bit: Hmmm. It didn't totally suck.
Worst Bit: The food-made me sick!
Verdict: Not bad but definitely not a movie I'd ever watch voluntarily. I saw this on the plane back to Sydney(from LA). The funny thing was that I actually cried a bit near the end.

The Sound of Music (9.5/10)
Starring: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, the Von Trapp kids, the woman, and Max(?), the nuns.
Plot: Nun is assigned to look after the Von Trapps and she does a n0-no and falls in love with the father. And there's a lot of singing.
Best Bit: Making the clothes out of the curtains-like GWW. That white dress the woman wore at the party.
Worst Bit: About half an hour before it ends it all gets dark and azy for me. Rolf turns out to be a dillweed. I feel sorry for the woman cos she's really a good egg. And the 'tea with am and bread' is repeated until it strats sounding like a mantra! Also is any other film-esp. more recent-they'd be able to hold out until you're dying to go to the toilet during that concert thing by making them say speeches and shit. But it's just like, and the runers up are so-and-so, thanks and thanks, and the winner is, the Von Trapp family. Geez. Maybe he was pissed off that the Cap'n rejected the woman and actually wanted the Nazis to atch him? I'd never thought of that until now.

Speed (9/10)
Starring: Keanu 'hot' Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis 'madman' Hopper, Jeff 'Jack' Daniels (haha), Shaggy! (I swear it's Shaggy from 'Scooby Doo'!!!)
Plot: Mad bomber plants a bomb on a bus that will go off if the bus travels under 50mph(that's about 80km?).
Best Bit: Keanu and his 'buzz cut'-hot!!!
"Hey, Jack, you forgot your muffin"
"Oh, darn"
Worst Bit: Sandra Bullock's wisecracks and shit really start to get on your nerves. I also don't like the bit where she's handcuffed to the pole on the train. Everything else is crap workmanship but the pole is stuck for good! I also hate it when she says "I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine" dunno why.
Verdict: Lots of action, Keanu muscles, fast car chases and explosions. Good solid action that never lets up. A fun flick.

Strangers on a Train (8/10)
Starring: Farley Granger(? is that his name?), that other guy(he was in a Hitchhikher episode where he's a plastic surgeon and accidentally botches up the face of a man who wants to be a woman and s/he gets his/her revenge by slasing him up good and proper-a funny episode!)It's not Robert Vaughn from The Man from UNCLE is it?! I think it is. Geez.
Plot: Two strangers on a train strike up a hypothetical conversation about 'swapping' a murder. One of them takes it seriously and expects the other to fulfill his part of the 'deal'.
Best Bit: Farley-gay name but he's pretty nice!
Worst Bit: Don't remember. Maybe too long in between the 'action' bits.
Verdict: Pretty good. It's Hitchcock so you can't go wrong! Supposedly one of the most talked about of his films-why?

‘Supar no onna’ (7/10)
Starring: The ‘taxing woman’ woman.
Plot: Lady gets a job at a supermarket and learns that they’re going out of business because of competition, so decides to make some changes.
Best Bit: I liked all the talk about ‘repackaging’-very interesting. Don’t know if it’s true tho’-hope not!
Worst Bit: A bit corny.
Verdict: I think her husband wrote and directed it but I could be wrong. It’s an enjoyable farce. Some ethical issues. Not as funny as I hoped. (10/10)
Starring: Vince 'never looks a good as he does n Swingers' Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Patrick Van Horn, Alex 'now he's in Booker' Desert, Jon 'in some Molly Ringwald series and in Office Space and going out with JLH?' Livingstone, Heather Graham.
Plot: Wannabe actors in Hollywood find that at least they're 'stars' at their regular hangouts. And there's lots of cool music and funny dialogue too.
Best Bit: 'Is he clean? Is he brown, man?' scene. 'Because you growns up and you growns up and you growns up' scene. 'Ha ha dig that!' 'It's on. It is so on' scene. The music!
Worst Bit: They didn't have the 'Stayin' Alive' song on the soundtrack! So funny! But also kinda groovy.
Changes: None. Dig that! < br>Verdict: One of my favourite films ever! Everything works. Cast is great, dialogue is hilarious but realistic, music is swingin' and the characters are believable.

Swoon (5/10)
Starring: Um…
Plot: The true story of Leopold and Loebb who killed a little boy as an experiment.
Best Bit: I liked the end bit where they show all the profiles of people and point out personality traits based on their features eg. Upturned nose means they’re vain or whatever.
Worst Bit: Too arty! Got annoying. I don’t think it was very accurate tho’ it improved near the end. Like, weren’t they supposed to still be in highs cool when they did it? And weren’t they supposed to be geniuses or something and the whole thing was an experiment of how to commit the perfect murder?
Verdict: Not bad but not really all that good either.

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