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Movie Quotes (S-Z)
Scream (1996)
Casey Becker: Who’s there?
Ghostface: Never say ‘who’s there’. Don’t you watch scary movies? It’s a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange voice or something.
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Sydney Prescott: How do you – gut someone?
Stu: You take a knife and split ‘em from groin to sternum.
Stu: What? She asked.
Billy Loomis: It’s called tact you fuckrag!
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Tatum Riley: Stu was with me last night.
Randy: Oooooh... before or after he sliced and diced?
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Caller: Do you like scary movies, Sidney?
Sidney:[mistaking caller for Randy] I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.
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Sydney: What’s the point? They’re all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who can’t act and is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It’s insulting.
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Tatum: “I’ll send you a copy.” BAM! Bitch went down. “I’ll send youa copy.” BAM! Syd! Superbitch!
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Gale Weathers: If I’m right about this, I could save a man’s life! [Kenny looks awed] Do you know what that would do for my book sales?!
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Stu: I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl!
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Reporter: Sydney, how does it feel to be almost brutally butchered? How does it feel? People have a right to know!
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Gale Weathers: Jesus, get the camera, hurry!
Kenny: My name’s not Jesus.
…Gale: Look, Kenny, I know you’re anout fifty pounds overweight, but when I say hurry, please interpret that as MOVE YOUR FAT TUB OF LARD ASS NOW!
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Randy:[about Billy] If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath, would you be standing in the horror section?
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Randy: Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sydney would go out with me?
Stu: As if, that’s all I’m saying, as if.
Randy: Oh really, Alicia?
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Randy: There’s always some bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend.
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Randy: It’s the millennium, motives are incidental.
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Mr. Himbrey: I'm sickened. Your whole havoc-inducing, thieving, whoring generation disgusts me.
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Tatum: You’re not going to pee alone any more. If you pee, I pee. Is that clear?
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Tatum: Stupidity leak!
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Tatum: Just think, if they made a movie about all this, who would play you?
Dewey Riley: I see you as a young Meg Ryan, myself.
Sydney: Thanks, Dewey. But with my luck, they’d get Tori Spelling.
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Tatum: [after being asked to get some beer] Who am I? The beer whench?
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Tatum: Oh, please don’t kill me Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!
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Stu:[watching a video of Halloween When do we see Jamie Lee’s breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee’s breasts.
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Randy :[about Jamie Lee Curtis being the “Scream Queen"]
That's why she always lived. Only virgins can outsmart the killer in the big chase scene in the end. Don't you know the rules?
Stu: What rules?
Randy :
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie – you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "I'll be right back."
Stu: Wanna another beer?
RANDY : Yeah.
Stu: I'll be right back!
[Everybody "ooohhs". ]
[this is in the original script]
Randy: There he goes folks – a dead man. Wave bye-bye.
Stu: You can use my parents' room to talk or…whatever.
Billy: It’s called subtlety, Stu. You should look it up some time.
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Randy: Listen up. They found Mr. Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from a goal post on the football field.
Drunk teen: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go over there before they pry him down!
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Billy: Life is like a movie. You just can’t pick your genre.
Sydney: But this is not a movie.
Billy: Yes it is, Sydney. It’s all one big movie.
Sydney: I wish I could be a Meg Ryan movie. Or at least a good porno.
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Randy: [to TV] No, Jamie. Look behind you! Watch out! Behind you!
[And if he followed his own advice, he would see the Ghost Masked Figure that stands directly behind him... knife poised.]
[Meanwhile, in the van Kenny is watching Randy on the monitor]
Kenny: JESUS... FUCK... [screaming at the monitor]
BEHIND YOU! LOOK BEHIND YOU!
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Billy: Now, now, Syd. Movies don’t create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative.
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Sydney: Fuck you!
Billy: We’ve already played that game, remember? You lost.
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Stu: Did you really call the cops?
Sydney: You bet your sorry ass I did.
Stu: My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!
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Sydney: Stu, Stu, what’s your motive? Billy’s got one, the police are on their way, what are you gonna tell them?
Stu: Peer pressure, I’m far too sensetive.
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Randy: I never thought I’d be so happy to be a virgin!
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Randy: Careful. This is the moment when you think the killer's dead, but then he springs back to life for one last scare.
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[in the script] Sidney: And this, Billy stud-bucket, is for having an incredibly small weenie. [shoots him]
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[this is in the original script-I wish they had this bit in the movie-it’s sweet!]
Randy: This is probably an inappropriate moment, but you think you'd want to maybe go out with me sometime... like on a date?
[Sidney looks at him, dumbfounded.]
Randy: Maybe catch a movie?
[A long moment as Sidney's face goes from disbelief to resignation to the slight trace of a smile.]
Sidney: Only if it's a nice Meg Ryan movie.
Randy: You got it.
Scream 2 (1997)
[answering phone]
Sydney[or is it Sidney?] Prescott: Hello? Hello?
Caller: Hello, Sydney.
Sydney: Yes?
Caller: What’s your favourite scary movie?
Sydney: Who is this?
Caller: You tell me.
[Sydney picks up caller ID]
Sydney: Cory Gillis, 555-0176.
Caller: Shit!
Sydney: Hot flash Cory…
Caller: Shit!
Sydney: …prank calls are a criminal offence prosecuted under penal code 653M. [caller hangs up] Hope you enjoyed the movie.
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Sorrority girl: Hi Sydney! No, I really mean that, hi!
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Randy: Sydney, look, it’s Gale Weathers.
Sydney: What?
Randy: Star of the Gale Weathers press conference, author of the press conference starring Gale Weathers, soon to be a major motion picture starring Gale Weathers!
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Dewey: How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn’t merely a subtle form of manipulation, used to lower people’s expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively manuever within any given situation?
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[this is my fave bit!]Randy: [after watching a preview of Stab] I'll wait for video. OK. Let's get down to business. The way I see it, someone's out to make a sequel. Y'know, cash in on al the murder movie hooplah. So it's our job to observe the rules of the sequel. No.1-the body count is always bigger. No.2-the death scenes are always much more elaborate. More blood, more gore-carnage candy! You core audience just expects it. And No.3-if you want your movie to become a franchise, never ever...
Deputy Dwight 'Dewey' Riley: How do we find the killer, Randy? That's what I wanna know.
Randy: Oooh, well, let's look at the suspects. There's Derrick, the obvious boyfriend-helloo Billy Loomis! The guy's pre-med and his petty neat surface wound missed every major vein and artery!
Dewey: So you think it's Derrick?
Randy: Not-so-fast. Let's assume the killer, or 'ers, has a half a brain. He's not a Nick-at-Nite rerun type'a guy. He wants to break new ground. Right?
Dewey: [not quite following] Right.
Randy: So forget the boyfriend. It's tired. Who else we got?!
Dewey: There's...
Randy: Mickey! The freaky Tarantino film student! [pause] But if he's a suspect, so am I. So, let's move on.
Dewey: Who, who, no, let's not move on. Maybe you are a suspect.
Randy: Well, if I'm a suspect, you're a suspect.
Dewey: You have a point, ok, let's move on, to...
Randy: Halley.
Dewey: Sid's roomie?
Randy: Uh huh.
Dewey: Serial killers are typically white male.
Randy: That's why it's perfect. It's sort of against the rules but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer! And there's always room for Candyman's daughter-she's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.
Dewey: Come on, Randy, these kids are your friends. Who do you think the killer is?
Randy: How about Gail Weathers?
Dewey: Gail? A killer?!
Randy: Why not?
Dewey: Well, she is viscous.
Randy: She's an opportunist.
Dewey: Yeah.
Randy: Isn't it conceivable she's planning her next book? That's what reporters do, Dewey. They stage the news.
Dewey: No, Gail's a lot of things, but Gail's not a killer.
Randy: Just because you're sweet on her.
Dewey: No I'm not.
Randy: Please, this is me talking, Randy. The unrequited love slave of Sidney Prescott! I know all about obsession...and pain. [reveals scar on shoulder]
Dewey: And you've got your love scar to prove it.
Randy: And so do you, man, what's with that limp anyway, cos you were stabbed in the back?
Dewey: Severed nerve.
...........
Mickey: Oh come on Randy, with all due respect, the killer obviously patterned himself after two serial killers who were immortalized on film.
Guy #2: Thank you!
Randy: “Stab 2”? Why would anyone want to do that? Sequels suck!
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Joel:I’m gonna get some coffee, donuts, prozac, see if I can’t find some crack, special K, [not sure about this bit] eggs [something or other]...malcolm; and I’ll be back when y’all find a subject a little more “Saved by the Bell”-ish!
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Joel: I mean, granted, I shoulda read your book before I took this job, but I'm readin' it now and, woo! I read what happened to your last cameraman. The guy got gutted! Now me, I'm on'a do what any rational human being would do, and that's to get the fuck outta here.
Gail Weathers: First of all,, he wasn't gutted. I made that up. His throat was slashed.
Joel: Gutted, slashed, the guy ain't in the union no more!
Gail: It's a job Joel. And like any job, there's a few drawbacks. You're a professional cameraman, you've got to act like one.
Joel: I wanna report the news, I don't wanna be the news. Besides, brothers don't last long in situations like this!
...[after convincing Joel to stay]
Gail: C'mon, let's get some work done.
Joel: Yeah, let's go get killed.
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Dewey: ‘When did she start smoking?
Randy: Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.
Gale: It was just my head, it was Jennifer Aniston’s body!
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Killer: What’s your favourite scary movie?
Randy: “Showgirls”. Absolutely frightening.
Shadows & Fog
Woody: A deranged man is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of a small boy...with polio.
Smoke
Auggie: The boys and me were just havin' a philosophical discussion about women and cigars.
Paul Benjamin: Yeah, well, I suppose that all goes back to Queen Elizabeth.
Auggie: The Queen of England?
Paul: Yeah, not Elizabeth II, Elizabeth I. [pause] D'you ever hear of Sir Walter Raleigh?
Customer 1: Yeah, sure, that's the guy who threw his coat over that puddle.
Customer 2: I used to smoke Raleigh cigarettes. It came with a free gift coupon in every pack.
Paul: That's the man. Well, Raleigh was the person who introduced tobacco in England. And since he was a favourite of the Queen - Queen Bessie, he used to call her - smoking caught on as a fashion in the court. I'm sure old, ol' Bess must have shared a story or two with Sir Walter. [pause] Once, he made a bet with her that he could measure the weight of smoke.
Customer 1: You mean weigh smoke?
Paul: Exactly, weigh smoke.
Customer 1: Ya can't do that, that's like weighin' air.
Paul: I admit it's strange, it's almost like weighing someone's soul. But Sir Walter was a clever guy. First he took an unsmoked cigar and he put it on a balance and weighed it. Then he lit up, he smoked the cigar, carefully tapping the ashes into the balance pan. When he was finished, he put the butt into the pan along with the ashes and weighed what was there and he subtracted that number from the original weight of the unsmoked cigar. The difference was the weight of the smoke.
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Auggie: [about Paul's wife] Y'know, sometimes I think that if she hadn't given me exact change that day, or if the store had been a little more crowded, then maybe it woulda taken a few more seconds to get outta here, and she wouldn't 'a stepped out in front of that bullet...and maybe the baby woulda been born.
Speed (1994)
[After the elevator falls]
Elevator passenger: Jesus. Bob, what button did you push?
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Jack Traven: You're crazy! You're fuckin' crazy!
Howard Payne: NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric.
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Jack: STOP! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!
'Tuneman': Hey man, this is MY car, I OWN this car, it's NOT stolen.
Jack: It is now. Move over.
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Jack Traven: Miss, can you handle this bus?
Annie: Oh sure. It's just like driving a really big Pinto.
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Annie: So you're a cop, right?
Jack: That's right.
Annie: Well, I should probably tell you that I'm taking the bus because I had my driver's license revoked.
Jack: What for?
Annie: Speeding.
Jack Traven: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry Temple: Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.
Jack: Cool.
...........
[Jack spots the explosive device (it's huge); Stephens(that's Shaggy!) is relaying his observations by mobile]
Jack Traven: Fuck me!!
Stephens: "Oh, darn."
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Stephens: Did you have any luck with the bomb?
Jack Traven: Yeah, it didn't go off.
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Jack Tavern: It's a game. If he gets the money he wins, if the bus blows up he wins.
Annie: What if you win?
Jack: Then tomorrow we'll play another one.
Annie: But I'm not available to drive tomorrow. Busy.
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Stephens: [Dismayed] We're at the airport.
Ortiz: Yeah, so?
Stephens: I already seen the airport.
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Swingers (1996)
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're gonna be up by five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Ahh!
Together: Vegas!!!!
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Trent: I want you to remember this face here, ok? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
Waitress: ok.
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[playing a video hockey game]
Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
Trent: Yeah, but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody's head bleed.
Sue: No man, we're in the playoffs.
...........
Sue: Pause the game.
Trent: Wait, I'm gonna do my thing with the...thing.
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Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
Sue: ...with big fucking teeth, man.
Trent: Yeah, big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
Sue: ...shivering.
Trent: Yeah, man, just kinds...you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and you're thinking to yourse;f, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently battin' the bunny around, and the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
Sue: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...
Trent: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With this you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue: You're like a big bear, man.
Mike: So, you're not just like fucking with me?
Trent: No I'm not fucking with you.
Sue: Honestly, man.
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Mike: Haven't you seen Boyz N the Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot! ...What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case someone steps to you Snoop Dogg?
Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in LA.
Trent: Anaheim.
Sue: Whatever, man. It's not like New York, Mikey.
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Trent: And if you tell the bartender to go easy on the water, then this 50 cent piece has your name on it.
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Mike: What an asshole!
Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money!
Mike: That was so demeaning!
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: She smiled at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She smiled at how money I was. What I did with her.
...........
Mike:
200 Cigarettes (1999)
Bartender(Ben Affleck): So, how do you like your eggs done in the morning, scrambled or
fertilized?
Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995)
Ralphie: You think you're hot shit, but you're just cold diarrhoea.
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Mark Weiner: High School's better than Junior High. They call you names, but not as much to your face.
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Dawn Weiner: I was fighting back.
Mrs. Weiner: Who told you to fight back?
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Dawn Weiner: I don't mean to be a cunt.
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Dawn: Why do you hate me?
Student: Beacuse you're ugly.
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Dawn Weiner: Do you think about girls?
Mark Weiner: Are you kidding? I want to get into a good school.
Dawn: Just beacause you're a faggot doesn't mean you're an asshole.
Home/My Movie Reviews(A-K)/My Fave TV Quotes/My Fave Actors/My Fave TV Shows/My Fave Music/My CD Collection/My Fave Books">
Links to other sites on the Web
The Movie Quotes Webring:a whole lot of pages dealing with movie quotes
The Internet Movie Database: the Bible of all movie related stuff-tho' they could beef up their quotes section
Well, it's got movie quotes dude!
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