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Movie Quotes (M-R)



Mallrats (1995)


Brodie: He must be halfway to Buy Me Toys by now.

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Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent-I don't care which one-but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!
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Brodie: Do you think Mr. Fantastic can stretch his dinky also? And do you think The Thing is hard all over? I mean really all over?
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Brodie: You're going to listen to something I said? Haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit?
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Jay: Where do you get these wonderful toys?
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Brodie: I would've made a sexy chick.
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Brodie: You guys think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?
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Jay
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Silent Bob: Excitement, adventure...a Jedi craves not these things.
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A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
Ariel: Andrew, we'll get likked!
Andrew: No, no. Don't be silly. Trust me, it's me, Andrew...trust me anyhow.

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Ariel: How's your marriage?
Andrew: My marriage is fine.
Ariel: Ya?
Andrew: It's not working, but it's fine.
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Ariel: He taught me a lot...
AndrewAndrew: Like what?
Ariel: Like ho to listen to Mozart.
Andrew: With your ears, right?
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Dulcy: A hammock! That's so nostalgic for me. I lost it in a hammock.
Adrian: Excuse me?
Dulcy: You have to have really good balance.
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Andrew: Maxwell, I think I fractured my last remaining nose.
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Andrew: When are you gonna grow up? You're like one of those creaturesin Greek mythology who's half-goat.
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Andrew: I didn't lie. I wasn't lying, Adrian. I was not lying. Do you want to know why I lied?
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Maxwell: I'm a doctor and I believe in the spirit world.
Andrew: Oh, you have to, Maxwell. That's where all your patients end up.
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Andrew: He's a wonderful guy and a terrific doctor. Never lost a patient. Got a couple of them pregnant, but never lost one.
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Andrew: I'm not a poet. I don't die for love. I work on Wal Street.
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Ariel: I don't love you.
Maxwell: Because you don't know me. Give me ten minutes, ten lousy minutes.


Parenthood (1989)
Todd: Ms. Buchman, do you know what a boner is?
Helen: If memory serves.

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[After finding her 9-year-old son's bag full of porno tapes]
Helen: I guess you're interested in sex. Or filmmaking.
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Julie: I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!
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Todd: You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dof, to drive a car-hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
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Gil: We'll throw away the tv. We'll perform Shakespeare in front of him.
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Todd: We can record our love.
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Daughter(Patty?): Ok mama.
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Karen: He likes to butt things...with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.
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Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to".
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Pulp Fiction (1994)
Vincent Vega: And you know what they call a ... a ... a Quarter Pounder with cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a "Royale" with cheese.
Jules: A "Royale" with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac".
Jules: "Le Big-Mac"! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

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Honey Bunny: Any of you fuckin' pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfuckin' last one of you!
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Butch: Will you hand me a towel, tulip?
Fabienne: Ah, I like that. I like tulip. Tulip is much better than mongoloid.
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Jules: Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
Jules: It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down man, I don't tickle or nothin'.
Vincent: Have you ever given a guy a foot massage?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: How many?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: Would you give me a foot massage? I'm kinda tired.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.
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Jules: A Big Kahuna Burger!
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Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett!
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[Jules shoots the guy on the couch during Brett's interrogation]
Jules: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?
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Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say "what" one more goddamn time!
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: NO!
Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't!
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.
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[Ezekiel 25:17 among others]
Jules: Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
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[Marcellus is telling Butch to take a dive.]
Marcellus Wallace: The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.
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Captain Koons: [to young Butch] The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. (I loved the MAD sendup of this where the watch had all this crap and flies flying around it. Gross!)
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Vincent Vega: That's a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars but it's pretty fucking good.
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[After a long pause in their conversation]
Mia Wallace: Don't you hate that?
Vincent Vega: Hate what?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences.
Mia: Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?
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Mia Wallace: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.
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[Vincent Vega goes up to Butch at the bar]
Butch: What're you looking at, friend?
Vincent Vega: I ain't your friend, Palooka.
Butch: What did you say?
Vincent: I think you heard me just fine, Punchy.
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Lance: You're going to give her an injection of adrenaline directly to her heart.
Vincent: Then what happens?
Lance: I'm curious about that myself.
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[Jules and Vinnie take Marvin with them in their car and Vinnie's gun goes off and blows Marvin's head off]
Jules Wingfield: Oh! Fuck's happening!
Vincent Vega: Man, I shot Marvin in the face.
Jules: Why the fuck did you do that! Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time!
Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump.
Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch! The gun went off. I don't know why.
Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight.
Vincent: I don't believe it.
Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road. You know cops tend to notice shit like your driving a car drenched in fucking blood.
Vincent: Take it to a friendly place, that's all.
Jules: We're in the Valley, Vincent! Marcellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley.
Vincent: Well Jules this ain't my fucking town! Shit! What you doin'?
Vincent: Well Jules this ain't my fucking town! Shit! What you doin'?
[Jules dials a number on his cellular phone]
Jules: I'm calling my partner in Toluca Lake.
Vincent: Where's Toluca Lake?
Jules: Just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmie's ass ain't home, I don't what the fuck we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8. Hey Jimmie, yo, how you doin'? It's Jules. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious fucking shit. We're in a car and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.
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Jimmie: Now let me ask you a question, Jules. When you drove in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said, "Dead nigger storage"?
Jules Wingfield: Jimmie......
Jimmie: Answer the question! Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead nigger storage"?
Jules: Naw man, I didn't.
Jimmie: You know why you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause storin' dead niggers ain't my fuckin' business!
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Jimmie: Well, the thing on my mind right now isn't the good coffee in my cup, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
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Jules Wingfield: Fuck, nigger, what did you do to his towel?!
Vincent Vega: I was dryin' my hands.
Jules: You're supposed to wash 'em first.
Vincent: You watched me wash 'em.
Jules: I watched you get 'em wet.
Vincent: I washed 'em. This shit's hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job.
Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!!
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[Winston Wolf takes exception to Vincent's taking exception to his brusque manner]
Winston Wolf: So, pretty please - with sugar on top ... clean the fuckin' car!
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Jimmie: I can't believe this is the same car!
Winston Wolf: Well, let's not start sucking each others dicks just yet.
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Jules: Normally, both of you would be dead as fucking fried chicken by now, but since I'm in a transitional period, I don't want to kill either one of your asses.
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Marcellus: I'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.
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Butch: You okay?
Marcellus: No. I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay.
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Vincent Vega: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops tastes gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers. Pig sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eat their own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, it'd cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we gotta be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?
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Jules: I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker.
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Jules: Hand me my wallet.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It's the one with “Bad Motherfucker” written on it.
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Vincent Vega: Jules, if you give that fuckin' nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles.
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Jules: We're all gonna be three little Fonzies - and what what was Fonzie?!
Yolanda: Cool?
Jules: Correct-a-mundo!
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Jules: Yolanda, I thought you were gonna be cool. When you yell at me, it makes me nervous. When I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers get accidentally shot.


Reservoir Dogs (1992)


Mr. White: You shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize!

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Mr White: If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smask their nose in...I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.
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Mr Brown: Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr White: A lot.
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Joe: Wong…
Mr. White: For the past 15 minutes now, you’ve been droning on about names. ‘Toby. Toby? Toby. Toby Wong. Toby Wong? Toby Wong. Toby Chung? Fuckin’ Charlie Chan.’ I got Madonna’s big dick coming out of my left ear and Toby the Jack… comin’ out of my right.
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Mr. Pink: I don't believe in tipping.
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Mr. White: Hardy fuckin' har.
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Mr. Pink: You, buddy [pointing to Mr. White] are stuck in a situation you created. So if you wanna throw bad looks somewhere, throw 'em at a mirror.
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[Mr. Pink sees Mr. Orange has been shot in the stomach]
Mr. Pink: Is it bad?
Mr. White: As opposed to good?
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Mr. Brown: Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit.
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Joe Cabot: And you are Mr. Pink.
Mr. Pink: Why am I Mr. Pink?
Joe Cabot: Cause you're a faggot, ok?
...Mr. Pink: How I be Mr. Purple?
Joe: No, you can't be Mr. Purple.
Mr. Pink: Why not?
Joe: Someone on another job is Mr. Purple!
Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?
Mr. Pink: Oh yeah, that's easy for you to say, you've got a cool sounding name. How about we trade, ok? You're Mr. Pink.
...[after an argument with Joe]
Listen Joe. Forget it. This is beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.
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[Nice Guy Eddie asks what happened to Mr. Blue]
Mr. Blonde: Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him...or they don't.
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Mr. Blonde: Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
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Mr. Pink: You kill anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
Mr. White: Just cops.



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