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© 1998

Xena: Closed Captioned for the Humor Impaired

  • 05-03-98

    I'm just putting up a temporary Vanishing Act commentary since I didn't get everything down since I kept getting interrupted by the phone. So what little quotes I have, they may be wrong. I wish I had a VCR right now.



    Quotes Worthy of Bardliness

    Villagers Love Peace, Peace, Peace:
    "Welcome. Welcome to the festival of peace! Peace to you!"
    "Back at ya."
    "Peace forever!"
    "For everybody yeah. I'm gonna need my arm back!"
    --Villager & Gabrielle (Vanishing Act)

    Ooey Gooey Was a Worm:
    "You can't melt the statue down."
    "Why not?"
    "Because it gets gooey. I do not pay for goo."
    --Gabrielle as Myopia & Tarses (Vanishing Act)

    That Thing You Do:
    "Alright Xena, you've been waiting for this moment since we started. Some good old fashioned, kick butt, that's my Warrior Princess action."
    --Autolycus (Vanishing Act)

    What's In a Name?:
    "Bentley? What an unfortunate name."
    --Gabrielle (as Myopia) (Vanishing Act)

    The Sweet Rewards:
    "That's what makes doing work like this worth while."
    "Yes, half naked men screaming through the square. I see your point."
    --Gabrielle & Autolycus (Vanishing Act)

    Miscellany:

    Chakram Cam
    Not only do we get to see a new angle on the chakram cam, but we get a brief glance with the staff cam! Cool beans!

    The Tower of Pax
    That was a mighty big pedastal for the Statue of Pax. And is this a detachable statue? Since at Tarses' place, they were separated. Maybe the statue shrunk while being dragged underwater. Guess they didn't read the dry clean only tag. Also, when did it become gold? It must've been really dirty in the square & got cleaned after it's little ocean voyage.

    The Name Game
    Today children, we will learn some new words. From the official dictionary of the Athens City Academy of Performing Bards*:
    Myopia
    n : a condition in which visual images come to a focus in front of the retina resulting esp. in defective vision of distant objects (Is that why "Ezra" made the comment: "Myopia, I've heard of you. They say you used to be good looking.")
    Bentley
    n : car associated with the Rolls Royce (ok so I'm not a car buff) (has no correlation with Xena because Autolycus was called "Bentley" because of his posture thanks to the hump)
    Ezra
    n : 15th book of the Roman Catholic & Protestant Canon bibles & part of the Hagiographa of the Jewish Scripture; Old Testament book (also has no correlation to Xena, probably just going for odd names; but for a Pop Up Xena moment: (ref. Pop Up Video on VH-1)The music group Better Than Ezra has nothing to do with Xena)


    *Webster's New American Dictionary. © 1995 by Merriam-Webster Inc.
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