Most of us have the recipe backwards — we think if we HAD a certain something, we could DO a certain thing, and then we would BE happy. We have to start with BEING content right where we are so that we can DO what needs to be done in order to HAVE what we most desire. Being content where we are is always the first step towards improvement. Now is where it starts to sound rather funny, but the only way I know how to BE content is to ACT content, which means, DO what I would be doing if I were perfectly happy. This can be incredibly difficult when we are very depressed and can't see passed our own noses. When we feel depressed, we act depressed, which is very depressing! But if we force ourselves to act happy, we will soon start to feel happy. We certainly don't always feel loving, even though we do love others. Yet, many marriages end because one or both partners cease to feel love toward the other. We simply must learn to stop basing our lives on our emotions. The best way to re-kindle love in a relationship is to act loving. To act loving toward our partner will cause us to feel loving and will also make us a more lovable person, which in turn, fosters loving feelings toward us from our partner. And thus, our answer — because depression, fear, resentment, boredom, and disinterst are all self-centered in nature, the solution is to get the focus off of ourselves (and "our" feelings, desires, etc.) and focus on how we can help, or be more loving toward someone else.

We can scarcely be at ease until we have put the past to rest. As long as we carry resentments, old hurts, jealousy, bitterness and the like, there is no way possible to start each new day fresh. When we harbor feelings from the past, we carry them with us everywhere we go, into every situation and relationship we encounter, maring the reality of the present. Seeing that we can never forget the things of our past, how then can we ever truly be free of them? The answer is simple. When I am able to think about something in the past and talk about it without "re-living" the old feelings as if it were happening all over again, then I am free. Past experiences are valuable teachers for today and tomorrow, and can also benefit others, but only when we are no longer bound by them.

Forgiveness, like humility, is so often misunderstood. As we've already seen, humility isn't about shame and degradation, but rather having a realistic view of ourselves in relation to God and to our fellows. True humility is being able to admit when we are wrong, to ask for help when we are in need. On the flip side, humility also means allowing others to face the consequences of their actions rather than feeling responsible for them, and having the self-respect to know that we are not "less than" any other. Feeling guilty for things which are completely beyond our control is playing God just as much as the one who thinks themself to be better than others.