Babe (1995)

Ferdinand: Christmas? Christmas means dinner, dinner means death! Death means carnage; Christmas means carnage!

---

Baby Boom (1987)

Dr. Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
JC: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.

---

Back to the Future (1985)

George: Lorraine, my density has bought me to you.
Lorraine: What?
George: Oh, what I meant to say was...
Lorraine: Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?
George: Yes! Yes! I'm George, George McFly! I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.

George: Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain.

Marty: Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?
Doc: The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?

[1955 Doc is watching a video of 1985 Doc]
Doc: What on Earth's this thing I'm wearing?
Marty: Ah, this, this is a radiation suit.
Doc: Radiation suit? Of course, because of all the fallout from the atomic wars!

[In the past, Marty observes his dad's incompetence.]
Marty: Jesus, George, it's a wonder I was ever born!

Mr. Strickland: You don't have a chance, you're too much like your old man. No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley!
Marty: Yeah, well, history is gonna change.

Marty: If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Dave: See ya, pop. [kissing George on the head] Eewww, time to change that oil!

Doc: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious s***.

Lou: You gonna order something, kid?
Marty: Ah, yeah... Give me a Tab.
Lou: Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something!
Marty: Alright, give me a Pepsi Free.
Lou: You want a Pepsi, PAL, you're gonna pay for it!

Goldie Wilson: I'll be the most powerful man in Hill Valley, and I'm gonna clean up this town.
Lou [handing him a broom]: Good, you can start by sweeping the floor.

[Lorraine's parents are talking about Marty, Lorraine's future son]
Stella: He's a very strange young man.
Sam: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts that way I'll disown you.

[Doc is doubting Marty's story about that he is from the future]
Doc: Then tell me, "future boy", who is president in the United States in 1985?
Marty: Ronald Reagan.
Doc: Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis?
Marty: What?
Doc: I suppose Jane Wyman is the first lady! And Jack Benny is secretary of the treasury! I've had enough practical jokes for one evening! Good day, future boy!

[Marty comes to his school in 1955]
Marty: Wow, they really cleaned this place up. It looks brand new!

Marty: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?
Doc: Precisely.
Marty: Whoa, this is heavy.
Doc: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?

Biff: So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here.

George: Lou! Give me a milk... [dramatic pause] Chocolate!

[Marty arrives late for his take-off]
Doc: You got no concept of time!

Doc: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely eighty-eight miles per hour the instant the lightning strikes the tower ... everything will be fine!

Doc: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

---

Back to the Future Part II (1989)

Television announcer: Broadcasting beautiful views 24 hours a day: you're tuned to the Scenery Channel.

Young Jennifer: I'm old!!!
Old Jennifer: I'm young!!!

[Flying above Biff in 1955.]

Marty: There he is, Doc! Let's land on him, we'll cripple his car.
Doc: Marty, he's in a '46 Ford, we're in a DeLorean. He'd rip through us like we were tin foil.

[In the year 2015]
Doc: The justice system moves swiftly, now that they've abolished all the lawyers.

Doc: The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!

Doc: Marty! What in the name of Sir Isaac H. Newton happened here?

Doc: No! It can't be! I just sent you back to the future!
Marty: You did, oh, I know, you did send me back to the future, but I'm back -- I'm back *from* the future.
Doc: Great Scott! [faints]

---

Batman Forever (1995)

Two-Face: One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, anchovies grow legion. Why? Why why why why why? Luck! Blind stupid simple doo-dah clueless luck!

Riddler: Now who in the right mind has bats on the brain?

Riddler: Riddle me this, and riddle me that: who is afraid of the big, black bat?

Batman: Commissioner Gordon?
Meridian: He's at home. I sent the signal.
Batman: What's wrong?
Meridian: Last night, at the bank, I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin. It's his Achilles' heel. It can be exploited.
Batman: I know. You called me here for this? The Bat signal is not a beeper.
Meridian: Well, I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Meridian: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.

Meridian: What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school, it was guys with earrings. College, motorcycles, leather jackets. Now... black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Meridian: I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine; you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct aren't you?
Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.

Dick: I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What's a good sidekick name?
Bruce: How about Dick Grayson, college student?
Dick: Screw you!

Alfred: I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.
Bruce: What? Is he alright?
Alfred: I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.
Bruce: He ran away?
Alfred: Actually, he took the car.
Bruce: He boosted the Jag?
Alfred: No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.
Bruce: The Bentley?
Alfred: No, sir! The *other car*.

Alfred: Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?
Batman: I'll get drive-thru.

Riddler: And if knowledge is power, then a GOD AM *I*! [pauses] Was that over the top? I can never tell.

Riddler: You should have let me in on this. We could have planned it, prepared it, pre-sold the movie rights!

[upon reaching Claw Island]
Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's made of metal. And it's full of holes. You know, holey rusted metal.
Batman: Oh.

Dick: All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you. And all the pain went away. Do you understand?
Bruce: Yes, I do.
Dick: Good, cause you gotta help me find him. And when we do, I'm the one who kills him.
Bruce: So, you're willing to take a life.
Dick: Long as it's Two-Face.
Bruce: Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.
Dick: You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Bruce: Yes, they were. We're the same.

---

The Beautician and the Beast (1997)

[Motto for her cosmetology class]
Joy: Flashy, not trashy.

Kleist: In Slovetzia, hard work today, happiness tomorrow.

Joy: Put on your sun block because it's rays today; raisins tomorrow.

Joy: In our country we can marry who we want. I decided on John Kennedy Jr., and while he's in denial, I'll travel.
Grushinsky: Oh, you Americans and your positive thinking. There are some situations that a big toothed person cannot get you out of.

---

Better Off Dead... (1985)

Monique: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane: Excuse me?
Monique: You know, like octopus? Testicles?
Lane: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T.

Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My mom's not home. She had to take my brother to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she was really stressed out. She hijacked a busload full of... penguins. It's sort of a family crisis. Bye! [slams the door shut]

Charles: This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

Charles: How are we going to get real drugs in this town? We can't even get cable!

Charles: Suicide is never the answer, little trouper.

Charles: And dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!

Charles: I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy. I know high school girls.

Charles [giving skiing instructions]: Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Ricky's Mom: Christ-mas.

Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Lane: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

---

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

[Introducing Genghis Khan.]
Ted Logan: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Ashman's Sporting Goods.

Ox: Everything is different, but the same... things are more moderner than before... bigger, and yet smaller... it's computers... San Dimas High School football rules!

[Bill and Ted are working on their history report.]
Bill: George Washington: the father of our country.
Ted: Also born on President's Day.
Bill: The dollar bill guy.
Ted: Hey, did you ever make a mushroom out of his head--?
Bill: Ted?
Ted: What?
Bill: Alaska.
Ted: Oh yeah. [thinks for a moment] Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick!
Bill: That's Captain Ahab, dude.

Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire.
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.
Bill and Ted: And together, we're... WYLD STALLYNS!

Mr. Ryan: All you boys seemed to have learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."

Missy: Hi, Bill. Hi, Ted. Need a ride?
Bill: Sure, Missy! I mean, Mom. [She smiles]
[whispering to Bill]
Ted: Your step-mom's cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshman?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!

Bill: You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!

[Bill thought Ted was killed.]
Bill: Ted, you're alive!
Ted: Yeah, I fell out of my armor when it hit the floor!
[They hug.]
Bill and Ted (to each other): Fag!

Ted: Be excellent to each other.
Bill: Party on, dudes.

[After seeing the Princesses Joanna and Elizabeth]
Ted: Bill?
Bill: What?
Ted: I'm in love, dude.
Bill: Come on, this is a history report, not a babe report.
Ted: But, Bill, those are historical babes!
Bill: Okay, you're the ladies' man. How we gonna meet 'em?

Ted [to Socrates]: All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

History Teacher: Who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: Noah's wife?

Ted: I can't believe your dad's actually going for it in your room!
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Your step-mom is cute, though.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when I asked her out to the prom?
Bill: Shut up Ted!!

Bill [to peasant]: Excuse me. Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance around here?

Bill and Ted: Excellent!

Ted: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.

[Bill and Ted meet themselves]

Ted: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Bill and Ted: 69 dudes!
Bill and Ted: Whoa!
[Quadruple air guitar solo]

Ted: Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?

Bill: Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides, we told ourselves to listen to this guy...

Ted: What if we were lying?
Bill: Why would we lie to ourselves?

[Just before time-traveling for the first time]
Rufus [putting on his sunglasses]: Gentlemen... We're history!

Bill: Socrates; "The only true wisdom consists of knowing you know nothing".
Ted: That's us, dude!

[Bill and Ted have met themselves again]

Bill and Ted: Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
Bill: That conversation made more sense this time.

Police Psychiatrist: I don't know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud.
Freud: Why do you claim I'm not Sigmund Freud?
Police Psychiatrist: Why do you keep asking me these questions?
Freud: Tell me about your mother.

Ted: Dude, it's Sigmund Frood!
Bill: Extra credit, dude. Let's bag him!

Ted: [to Freud] How's it goin' Frood-dude?

[As Genghis Khan shows off, Ted narrates]
Ted: As you can see, Genghis greatly enjoys Twinkies because of the excellent sugar rush!

Abraham Lincoln: Be excellent to each other... And party on, dudes!

[Last line (while Bill and Ted are "jamming")]
Rufus [reassuringly to the camera]: They do get better.

---

The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)

Mike: Put on your Sunday best kids; we're going to Sears!

Charlie: Hey, I heard what you said, Doug, and I'm not gonna let you talk to Marcia like that.
Doug: Yeah?
Charlie: Yeah.
Doug: Well, what are you gonna do about it, geek?
Charlie: I'm gonna... lose... consciousness...

Mike: As a wise man once said, "Wherever you go, there you are."

Greg: Hey there, groovy chicks. You're all hep in far out ways.

Bobby: Excuse me, officers, but I hate to ask a law enforcement official to bend the rules, especially for Penal Code 117, Section 33b, but our house is at stake.

Mike: Our house is more important than money. This neighborhood is more important than money. Tell me. How many times have we borrowed each other's power tools or patched up each other's kids? We know so much about each other. I know that every January, Mr. Yeager is going to have that big Super Bowl party at his house. We know that every spring, Mrs. Simmons is going to have the prettiest daffodils on the block. We know that at 10:15 every Saturday morning, Mrs. Topping likes to walk through her living room naked. Call me old-fashioned, but these things are important, and they're not for sale. This is our neighborhood, and we're staying.

Carol: Tiger? Tiger? What ever happened to that dog?

Eric Dittmeyer: She's harder to get into than a Pearl Jam concert.

Marcia [after getting hit in the nose with a ball]: Now I'll never be a teen model.

Doug: It's not your nose I'm after.

Jan's inner voice: Let's knock over a 7-11!

---

Braveheart (1995)

Robert's father: You've learned to hate. Now you're ready to be a king.

Robert the Bruce: My hate dies with you.

Princess Isabelle: The king desires peace.

William Wallace: Longshanks desires peace?

Princess Isabelle: He declares it to me, I swear it. He proposes that you withdraw your attack. In return he grants you title, estates, and this chest of gold which I am to pay to you personally.

William Wallace: A lordship and titles. Gold. That I should become Judas?

Princess Isabelle: Peace is made in such ways.

William Wallace: Slaves are made in such ways. The last time Longshanks spoke of peace I was a boy. And many Scottish nobles, who would not be slaves, were lured by him under a flag of truce to a barn, where he had them hanged. I was very young, but I remember Longshanks' notion of peace.

Robert the Bruce: Lands, titles, men, power... nothing.

Robert's father: Nothing?

Robert the Bruce: I have nothing. Men fight for me because if they do not, I throw them off my land and I starve their wives and children. Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk fought for William Wallace. He fights for something that I never had. And I took it from him, when I betrayed him. I saw it in his face on the battlefield and it's tearing me apart.

Robert's father: All men betray! All lose heart.

Robert the Bruce: I don't want to lose heart! I want to believe as he does!

William Wallace: There's a difference between us. You think the people of this land exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it.

Longshanks: Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us. Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. Their dead cost nothing.

Stephen: The Almighty says this must be a fashionable fight. It's drawn the finest people.

William Wallace: Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft rape and murder. Do this and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today.

Robert the Bruce: You have bled with Wallace, now bleed with me.

Princess Isabelle: The king will be dead in a month and his son is a weakling. Who do you think is going to rule this kingdom?

William Wallace: I came home to raise crops, and God willing, a family. If I can live in peace, I will.

Wallace: It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.

William Wallace: It's fine Scottish weather we're having. The rain is falling straight down and kind of to the side like.

Wallace: Why do you help me?

Isabelle: Because of the way you are looking at me now.

King Edward the Longshanks: Who is this person that speaks to me as though I needed his advice?

William Wallace: Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse.

William Wallace: In the year of our lord thirteen fourteen, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.

William Wallace: I love you. Always have. I want to marry you.

Stephen [speaking heavenward]: Him? That can't be William Wallace. I'm prettier than this man. Alright Father, I'll ask him. [To William.] If I risk my neck for you, will I get a chance to kill Englishmen?

Hamish: Is your father a ghost, or do you converse with the Almighty?

Stephen: In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God. [Looking heavenward.] Yes, Father. [To William and his men.] The Almighty says don't change the subject; just answer the f***ing question.

William Wallace: The answer is yes. Fight for me, you get to kill the English.

Stephen: Excellent!

William Wallace's father: Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.

Longshanks: Whom do I send? Not my gentle son. The mere sight of him would only encourage an enemy to take over the whole country.

Nicolette: Englishmen don't know what a tongue is for.

William: Ay, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.

[After killing a would-be assassin.]

Stephen: I didn't like him anyway. He wasn't right in the head.

Campbell [after his wound is cauterized]: That'll wake you up in the mornin'.

English Commander: I hope you washed your a** this morning, it's about to be kissed by a king.

William Wallace: Chaque jour je pense a toi.

Malcolm Wallace: It's our wits that make us men.

William Wallace: Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace.

Young soldier: William Wallace is 7 feet tall.

William Wallace: Yes, I've heard. He kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?

William Wallace: Go back to England and tell them there, that the daughters and sons of Scotland are yours no more. Tell them Scotland is free.

Princess Isabelle: A baby, not of your line, grows in my belly.

Longshanks: The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots.

Stephen: The Almighty thinks he can get me out of this, but he's pretty sure you're f***ed.

William Wallace: Every man dies, not every man really lives.

William Wallace: They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!

---

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

Bender: You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?

Bender: Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.

Bender: Excuse me, Dick. I mean, Rich, will milk be provided for us?
Claire: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.
Andrew: I've seen her dehydrate, sir, it's pretty gross.

[Claire is doing Allison's make-up.]
Claire: You know, you look a lot better without all that black s*** under your eyes.
Allison: Hey, I like all that black s***... Why are you being so nice to me?
Claire: Because you're letting me.

Claire: I'm not fat.
Bender: Well, not at present, but I can see you're really pushing maximum density.

Claire: You know why guys like you knock everything?
Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire: It's because you're afraid.
Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
Claire: You're a big coward.
Brian: I'm in the math club.
Claire: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it.
Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being a**holes, now would it?
Claire: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us.
Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their f***ing clubs.
Andrew: Hey! Let's watch the mouth, huh?
Brian: I'm in the physics club too.
Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?
Brian: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, the Latin and the physics club...physics club.
Bender: Hey, Cherry! Do you belong to the physics club?
Claire: That's an academic club.
Bender: So?
Claire: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.
Bender: Ah...but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian: In physics we..uh..we talk about physics, properties of physics.
Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?
[Brian shrugs a yes.]

Allison: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birthdate's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049-38-0913.
Andrew: Wow! Are you psychic?
Allison: No.
Brian: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?
Allison: I stole your wallet.

Claire: He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
Bender: Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?

Andrew: If I lose my temper you're totaled, man.
Bender: Totally?
Andrew: Totally.

Claire: I hate it! I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!

Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Bender: Don't you ever talk about my friends! You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.
Claire: Shut up!
Bender: And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it 'cuz it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your f***ing prom.

Allison: I don't have to runaway and live in the street. I can runaway and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.

Brian: I'm a f***ing idiot because I can't make a lamp?
Bender: No. You're a genius because you can't make a lamp.

Allison: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire: You're lying.
Allison: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire: Lie.
Brian: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew: And what did he do when you told him?
Allison: He nailed me.
Claire: Very nice.
Allison: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.
Claire: He's an adult!
Allison: Yeah, he's married too.
Claire: Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Allison: Well, the first few times...
Claire: The first few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Allison: Sure.
Claire: Are you crazy?
Brian: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Allison: Have you ever done it?
Claire: I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Allison: Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Claire: Didn't we already cover this?
Bender: You never answered the question.
Claire: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.
Allison: It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it?
Claire: A what?
Allison: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?
Claire: Wrong.
Allison: Or are you a tease?
Andrew: She's a tease.
Claire: I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it.
Andrew: Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases.
Bender: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
Claire: I don't do anything.
Allison: That's why you're a tease.
Claire: OK, let me ask you a few questions.
Allison: I already told you everything.
Claire: No. Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love. I mean, don't you want any respect?
Allison: I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between you and me.
Claire: It's not the only difference I hope.
Bender: Face it, you're a tease.
Claire: I'm NOT a tease.
Bender: Sure you are. Sex is your weapon. You said it yourself. You use it to get respect.
Claire: No, I never said that she twisted my words around.
Bender: What do you use it for then?
Claire: I don't use it period!
Bender: Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?
Claire: I didn't mean it that way! You guys are putting words into my mouth.
Bender: Well, if you'd just answer the question.
Brian: Why don't you just answer the question?
Andrew: Be honest.
Bender: No big deal.
Brian: Yeah answer it.
Andrew: Answer the question, Claire.
Bender: Talk to us. Every one: C'mon, answer the question. Come on. Answer it! C'mon, it's easy. It's only one question.
Claire: NO I NEVER DID IT!
Allison: I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar.

Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?

Bender: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!

Brian: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, that's what it is.

Bender: I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.

Bender: Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

Brian: Uh, no. Mr. Johnson.

Andrew: You don't have any goals.

Bender: Oh but I do.

Andrew: Yeah?

Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights.

Brian: You wear tights?

Andrew: No I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform.

Brian: Tights.

Andrew: Shut up.

Bender: Sporto.
Andrew: What?
Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.

Vernon: Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.

Vernon: What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

Bender: What's in there?
Claire: Guess? Where's your lunch?
Bender: You're wearing it.
Claire: You're nauseating.
Bender [pointing to Claire's lunch]: What's that?
Claire: Sushi.
Bender: Sushi???
Claire: Rice, raw fish, and seaweed.
Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?
Claire: Can I eat?
Bender: I don't know. Give it a try.

Bender: But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie, what would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?
Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
Brian: So I can vote!

Brian: Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, and what we did was wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions, you see us as: a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7 o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed.

---

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Kimberly: Buffy? What's your sitch? You're acting like the thing from another tax bracket.

Merrick: None of the other girls ever gave me this much trouble.
Buffy: And where are they now? Hello!

Nicole: You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you.
Buffy: Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador - like I'm ever going to Spain anyway.

Pike: Buffy, you're the guy. You're the chosen guy.
Buffy: And I choose to be shopping.

[After punching Merrick.]
Buffy: Oh, wow. I, I, never hit anyone before.
Merrick: Really? Well you did it perfectly.
Buffy [looking at her hand]: I didn't even break a nail.

Nicole: Buff, I don't see why we have to invite every single senior.
Buffy: Because it's the senior dance? It's just a shot in the dark.

Buffy: Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?

Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater and die.

[After getting his whole arm cut off]
Amilyn: You ruined my jacket! Kill him A LOT!

Pike: Look! Air!