The Name of the Rose (1986)

William: Adso, if I knew the answers to everything, I would be teaching theology in Paris.

[Regarding women.]
William: I find it difficult to convince myself that God would have introduced such a foul being into creation without endowing her with some virtues, hmmm?

The Abbot: We found the body after a hailstorm, horribly mutilated, dashed against a rock at the foot of the tower, under a window which was, uh, how shall I say this, I trust...
William: Which was found closed.
The Abbot: Somebody told you?
William: Had it been found open, you would not have spoken of spiritual unease -- you would have concluded that he'd fallen.
The Abbot: Brother William, the window cannot be opened! Nor was the glass shattered, nor is there any access to the roof above.

William: My dear Adso, we must not allow ourselves to be influenced by irrational rumors of the Antichrist, hmm? Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.

Jorge: Laughter is a devilish whim which deforms, uh, the lineaments of the face and makes men look like monkeys.
William: Monkeys do not laugh. Laughter is particular to men.
Jorge: As is sin. Christ never laughed.
William: Can we be so sure?
Jorge: There is nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did.
William: And there's nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did not. Why, even the saints have been known to employ comedy, to ridicule the enemies of the Faith. For example, when the pagans plunged St. Maurice into the boiling water, he complained that his bath was too cold. The Sultan put his hand in... scalded himself.

William: How peaceful life would be without love, Adso. How safe, how tranquil... and how dull.

[After seeing a rat while searching for a secret route to the library.]
William: The rats love parchment even more than scholars do. Let's follow him!

William: She is already burnt flesh, Adso. Bernardo Gui has spoken; she is a witch.
Adso: But that's not true, and you know it!
William: I know. I also know that anyone who disputes the verdict of an Inquisitor is guilty of heresy.

William: But what is so alarming about laughter?
Jorge: Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith, because without fear of the Devil there is no more need of God.

William: I too was an Inquisitor, but in the early days, when the Inquisition strove to guide, not to punish. And once I had to preside at a trial of a man whose only crime was to have translated a Greek book that conflicted with the Holy Scriptures. Bernardo Gui wanted him condemned as a heretic; I -- acquitted the man. Then Bernardo Gui accused *me* of heresy, for having defended him. I appealed to the Pope. I -- I was put in prison, tortured, and... and I recanted.
Adso: What happened then?
William: The man was burned at the stake, and I am still alive.

---

The Natural (1984)

Pop Fischer: C'mon Hobbs, knock the cover off the ball!

[Why he wants to play baseball.]
Hobbs: So then people would see me walking down the street and say, "There goes Roy Hobbs. The best there ever was in the game."

Pop Fisher: Batting practice tomorrow, be there!
Hobbs: I have been. Every day.

Hobbs: I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

---

Navy SEALS (1990)

Curran: And be careful out there!
Hawkins: If I liked it safe, I would have joined the Coast Guard.

Pilot: Lieutenant, you guys are incredible. Thank you.
Curran: There's no reason to thank us because we don't exist. You never saw us. This never happened.
Hawkins: One more thing: you're welcome.

Curran: This is starting to piss me off, now cool out!
Hawkins: Oh, I am cool. You should see me when I'm hot.

Hawkins: You gotta stick it out there and not be afraid to get it cut off, that's what I always say.

---

Necessary Roughness (1991)

Gennero: Well, is it fatal?
Doctor: Indigestion? Only in Mexico.

Rig: Not much of a crowd.
Gennero: Well, at least we have the home field advantage.
Rig: The Alamo was the home field.

[Featherstone is unable to catch any pass thrown to him.]
Gennero: Keep your eyes on the ball, son.
Rig: I'd rather he kept his hands on the ball.

[Popki hits a man during a bar brawl.]
Featherstone: Hey Popki, you finally threw something that connected!

---

The Negotiator (1998)

Danny: You want my blood? Come take it!

Danny: Crazy is on the bus.

Chris: I once talked a guy out of blowing up the Sears Tower but I can't talk my wife out of the bedroom or my kid off the phone.

Danny: You were wrong about me. What if I'm right about them?

Chris: But what if you're wrong about me?

Chris: You hurt one of them, you burn up any currency you have with me. They're all I care about. Getting you out of here alive... a distant second.

Chris: I'm a stranger to you. You have no idea what I am capable of.

---

The Net (1995)

Angela: Just think about it. Our whole world is sitting there on a computer. It's in the computer, everything: your, your DMV records, your, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records. It's all right there. Everyone is stored in there. It's like this little electronic shadow on each and everyone of us, just, just begging for someone to screw with, and you know what? They've done it to me, and you know what? They're gonna do it to you.

Angela: For future refrence you should know that the living tend to interest me just a little more than the dead do.

Angela: Such a nightmare! It's like I'm not even me anymore.

Angela: They hack into computers and they cause this chaos.

Angela: You know the story. I thought I was lonely, and he forgot he was married.

Alan: I figured you'd be hungry, so I stopped on the way over. I got your favorite, Chinese.
Angela: Um, it's your favorite. I never really cared for it, remember?
Alan: Ah, it's immaterial, I knew it was somebody's favorite.

Jack: Computers are your life, aren't they?
Angela: Yes. The perfect hiding place.

Jack: God, we're pathetic, aren't we?
Angela: Excuse me?
Jack: Well, we're here. We're sitting on the most perfect beach in the world, and all we can think about is---
Angela: "Where I can hook up my modem?"
Jack: Yeah, exactly.

[Angela's working on her computer.]
Jack: Is that business or pleasure?
Angela: Is there a difference?
Jack: Not a great deal if you're a hacker.

---

Never Say Never Again (1983)

Fatima: Write this: "The greatest rapture of my life was afforded me on a boat in Nassau by Fatima Blush," and sign it "James Bond, 007."
Bond: I just remembered. It's against Service policy to give endorsements.
Fatima: Write!

Nurse: Mr. Bond, I need a urine sample. If you could fill this beaker for me?
Bond: From here?

[Fatima lands in Bond's arms when she water-skis up the ramp to the bar]
Fatima: Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.
Bond: Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James.

Small-Fawcett: I'm sorry Mr. Bond. I obviously caught you in a bad moment.
Bond: M sent you!
Small-Fawcett: Only to plead for your return, Sir. M says that without you in the service, he fears for the security of the civilized world.
Bond: Never again.
Domino Petachi: Never?

---

Nine Months (1995)

Samuel Faulkner: Are you sure? Rebecca Taylor: I'm ten days late. Samuel Faulkner: And there's no way you could have had it and just not noticed?

Dr. Kosevich: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Rebecca Taylor: Sam! My water broke! Samuel Faulkner: Well, we'll get you another one!

Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole!

[Samuel Faulkner sees needle and faints.] Dr. Kosevich: See? That is why women have the babies. Men can't take the paaai... [sees needle and faints]

Dr. Kosevich: You have a girl. Unless I cut the wrong cord.

---

Nine to Five (1980)

Violet: All right, I'm gonna leave. But don't you ever refer to me as your girl again. Mr. Hart: What is God's name are you talking about? Violet: I'll tell you what I'm talking about. I'm no girl, I'm a woman. I'm not you wife or your mother. Or even your mistress. [Gestures to Doralee.] Doralee: What?! Violet: I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated with a little dignity and a little respect. Doralee: What do you mean "mistress"? Violet: Oh, just come off it, Doralee. The whole company knows you two are having an affair. Doralee: Who's been saying we're having an affair? Violet: Who's been saying it? [points at Hart] He has. Doralee: So that's why everyone around here treats me like some dime-store floozy. They all think I'm screwing the boss! And you just love it, don't you? It gives you some kind of cheap thrill like knocking over pencils and picking up papers. I've put up with all of your pinching, poking, staring and chasing me around the desk because I need this job. But this is the last straw! I've got a gun out there in my purse. Up until now I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up, but I'll tell you one thing. If you say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And don't think I can't do it.

Violet: Oh, God. They know about the rat poison. I might as well just turn myself in. Doralee: Violet, it was an accident. Violet: I'm a murderer. Judy: No, you're not. Violet: I'm a murderess! I'm gonna go to the pen. My poor kids. I'm gonna lose my job. Judy: Violet, stop this. Violet: I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?!

Judy: What are we going to do? If we let him go, he'll call the police. Doralee: And why not? He's got me for roping him, Violet for poisoning him and Judy for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot!

[Judy's fantasy, she's a bounty hunter and the boss is the prey] Mr. Hart: Judy, do you realize there are people trying to kill me out there? Why would anyone want to kill me? I'm not such a bad guy. Judy: You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Mr. Hart: Nobody's perfect. Judy: You're foul, Hart. A wart on the nose of humanity and I'm going to blast it off. [pulls a gun] Mr. Hart: Oh, God. You're just as crazy as the rest of them.

[Violet's fantasy, she's Snow White and the boss is the villain] Violet: Your coffee, Mr. Hart. [Hart drinks the coffee, steam comes from his ears, he screams and his head spins around on his neck] Mr. Hart: I think there was something in that coffee. Violet: I think you're right. Mr. Hart: I think it was poison. Violet: Right again. Mr. Hart: I think you did it. Violet: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Mr. Hart: Why? Violet: Why do you think? Mr. Hart: Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot? Violet: Bingo!

[Doralee's fantasy, she is a rodeo competitor and the boss is a wild bull] Rodeo Announcer: The pen is open and that's a mean-looking bronc. Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Let's see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Whoa! She's already got him! And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, five seconds for Miss Doralee Rhodes!

---

Nothing to Lose (1997)

T: I'm a student of human nature. Nick: You're a freak of human nature.

T: Not bad Nick, not bad - for a cheatin' b****. Nick: Hey! Don't you call her that, you don't know her, don't say that. T: Okay, okay, no disrespect. What should I call her? "Monogamously challenged"?

Nick: Boy, you picked the wrong guy, on the wrong day.