The Game (1997)

[Losing a shoe while climbing a fire-escape ladder]
Nicholas: There goes a thousand dollars.
Christine: Your shoes cost a thousand dollars?
Nicholas: That one did.

[In a fancy restaurant.] Conrad: I've been here before.
Nicholas: I took you here for your birthday.
Conrad: No, I used to buy crystal meth from the Maitre D.

Nicholas: I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children.

Feingold: The game is tailored specifically to each participant. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you.

Feingold: We're like an experiential Book-of-the-Month Club.

Nicholas: I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. I want to meet the wizard.

---

Gandhi (1982)

Gandhi: Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.

Nehru: Bapuji, the whole country is moving.
Gandhi: Yes. but in what direction?

Gandhi: An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Hindu Man: I'm going to Hell! I killed a child! I smashed his head against a wall.
Gandhi: Why?
Hindu Man: Because they killed my son! The Muslims killed my son!
Gandhi: I know a way out of Hell. Find a small boy, about this high, whose parents have been killed, and raise him as your own. But make sure he is Muslim, and raise him as one.

---

Gattaca (1997)

Vincent: They used to say that "a child conceived in love is a child of happiness." They don't say that any more.

Vincent: We shed 500 million cells a day.

Vincent: We now have discrimination down to a science.

Vincent: He had everything except desire.

Vincent: I was never more certain of how far away I was from my goal than when I was standing right beside it.

Jerome: We have to get drunk immediately.

Jerome: I got the better end of the deal. I only lent you my body, but you lent me your dreams.

Vincent: You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back.

---

George of the Jungle (1997)

Ape: "All of George's secrets." There's the shortest book ever written.

Ape: George, remember the time I told you about Queensbury rules and fighting fair? Well, now's a good time to forget it.

George: To swing or not to swing? Swing.

Narrator: And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies on the perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe.
Group: Aaaawwww.
Narrator: I said "awe." A-W-E.
Group: Ooohhh.
Narrator: That's better.

Narrator: The jungle king was pleased to find that he looked pretty good in Armani.
George: Pretty darn good.

Narrator: Meanwhile, at a very expensive waterfall set...

Thor: You dragged me all the way out here to watch a guy in a leopard-skin bakini. If I wanted to see that, I would have stayed in Miami.

Ursula's mother: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
Ape: Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall.

Narrator: Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.

Narrator: George can't die because he's the star.

George: Dog eat dog? Dog eat dog here? George never bringing Shep here! Uh uh! Never!

---

Ghostbusters (1984)

Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.
Peter: But the kids love us!

Ray: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Peter: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.

[After the Ghostbusters fail to "get" the library ghost and instead run away in terror.]
Peter: Hee hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan, "Get her!" You were scientific!

Ray: My parents left me that house. I was born there!
Peter: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

[Evaluating a site for their business.]
Peter: What do you think, Egon?
Egon: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
Ray: Hey! Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman's pole] Wow. This place is great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey! We should stay here. Tonight! Sleep here! You know, to try it out!
Peter: I think we'll take it.

Ray: You know, it just occured to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Egon: I blame myself.
Peter: So do I.
Ray: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Peter: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

[Business is terrible at Ghostbusters.] Janine: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you [hangs up] WE GOT ONE!!

Ray: I think we better split up.
Egon: Good idea.
Peter: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

Peter: He slimed me!

Peter: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

Egon: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Peter: What?
Egon: Don't cross the streams.
Peter: Why?
Egon: It would be bad.
Peter: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray: Total protonic reversal.
Peter: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks, Egon.

Peter: We came, we saw, we kicked its a**!

Dana: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Peter: What a crime.

[Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator.]
Peter: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

[Peter is opening the refrigerator door to look for ghosts]
Peter: Oh my God! [Dana jumps]Look at all the junk food.

Peter: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No job is too big, no fee is too big.

Peter: Mother pus bucket!

Egon: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

Ray: Listen! You smell something?

Peter: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Janine: Do you have any hobbies?
Egon: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.

Peter: Egon, this reminds me of that time you tried to drill a hole in your head.
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

Ray: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense of course.

Janine: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

Winston: Do you believe in God?
Ray: Never met him.

Janine: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
Louis (to Egon): Do I?
Egon: Yes, have some.
Louis (to Janine): Yes, have some.

Egon: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zools knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.]
Dana: Are you the keymaster?
Peter: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Peter knocks again.]
Dana: Are you the Keymaster?
Peter: Yes! Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

[Dana is possessed by The Gatekeeper.]
Dana: Do you want this body?
Peter: Is this a trick question?

Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Peter: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

Peter: Back off man. I'm a scientist.

[Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval.]
Peter: If we're wrong, we go to jail---peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.

Ray: Where do these stairs go?
Peter: They go up.

Ray: Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say *yes*!

Peter: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
Egon: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Peter: This chick is *toast*.

[How to deal with the Stay-Puft marshmallow man.]
Peter: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mister Stay-Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!

Peter: NOBODY steps on a church in my town!

Peter: Let's show this prehistoric b**** how we do things downtown!

---

Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)

Maggie: Sorry, I needed the phone.
Jeff: Why, the cabbage patch mothers are having a PTA meeting?

Nun: Stay away from him, he's a boy!

---

Glory (1989)

Trip: I ain't fightin' this war for you, sir.
Shaw: I see.
Trip: I mean, what's the point? Ain't nobody gonna win. It's just gonna go on and on.
Shaw: Can't go on forever.
Trip: Yeah, but ain't nobody gonna win, sir.
Shaw: Somebody's gonna win.
Trip: Who? I mean, you get to go on back to Boston, big house and all that. What about us? What do we get?
Shaw: Well, you won't get anything if we lose.

Trip: You ain't nothin' but the white man's dog!
[Rawlins slaps him.]
Rawlins: And who are you? So full of hate that you have to fight everybody, because you've been whipped and chased by hounds. Well that might not be living, but it sure as hell ain't dying. And dying's been what these white boys have been doing for going on three years now, dying by the thousands, dying for you, fool.

---

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Hauk: First of all, don't make fun of the weather here, and don't say the weather is the same all the time here. Because it's not. In fact, it's two degrees colder today than yesterday.
Cronauer: Two degrees colder, me without my muff.

Hauk: Furthermore, you are to stick to playing normal modes of music, not weird stuff. Those who we'd find acceptable here would include Lawrence Welk, Jim Nabors, Mantovani ...
Cronauer: ... Percy Faith ...
Hauk: Percy Faith ... good! ... Andy Williams, Perry Como, and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra.
Cronauer: Would Bob Dylan be outta line?

Cronauer: Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!

Cronauer: Mantovani? They feed Mantovani to insomniacs who don't respond to strong drugs!

[imitating Walter Cronkite]
Cronauer: Today's weather was hot and s***ty, tomorrow it will be hot and s***ty, expect a crappy weather front from the north, followed by pissy weather. Basically it's hotter than a snake's ass.

[Hauk uses Army jargon to refer to a press conference to be given by former Vice-President Nixon]
Cronauer: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? Cause of the leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

Garlick: "Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead mans balls." I have no idea what that means, but it seems very negative to me.

---

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Will: I read your book last night.
Sean: So you're the one.

Skylar: What if I said I wouldn't have sex with you again till I got to meet your friends, what would you say?
Will: It's four-thirty, they're probably still awake.

Sean: Real loss is only when you love something more than you love yourself.

Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

Billy: You're 21, you can legally drink. We figured we'd get you a car.

Morgan: My boy's wicked smart.

Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean f***in' drunk. He'd come home hammered, lookin' to wail on somebody. So, I had to provoke him so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings.

Sean: Twenty years of counseling. Yeah, I've seen some pretty awful s***.

Chuckie: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll f***in' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll f***in' kill you.

Sean: So what do you really want to do?
Will: I wanna be a shepherd.
Sean: Really.
Will: I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.
Sean: Maybe you should go do that.

Skylar: I can be in the NBA. I'm tall, I like to wear shorts. I'm all about three points. Hook! Hook!

Sean: If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will f***ing end you. You got that, chief?
Will: Time's up.

Sean: Nail them while they're vulnerable, that's my motto. See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.

Chuckie: But you know what the best part of my day is? The ten seconds before I knock on your door, 'cause I let myself think I might get there, and you'd be gone. I'd knock on the door and you wouldn't be there. You just left. Now I don't know much, but I know that.

Chuckie: So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and s*** on the wall.

Chuckie: Every morning I dream I come to pick you up and you have left.

Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all drunk. What is she gonna think about us?
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.

Sean: My dad used to make us walk down to the park and collect the sticks he was going to beat us with. Actually the worst of the beatings were between me and my brother. We would practice on each other, trying to find sticks that would break.
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Gotta go with the belt, there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: The wrench, why?
Will: 'Cause f*** him, that's why.

Skylar: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
Skylar: [laughs] Okay, sounds good.

Will: Do you buy all these books retail or do you send away for, like, a shrink kit that comes with all these volumes included?

Chuckie: You're sitting on a winning lottery tickey and you're too big of a pussy to cash it in.

Sean: The reason he hangs around with those "gorillas," as you called them, is because anyone of those "gorillas" would take a baseball bat to your head anyday. It's called loyalty.

Will: Do you play the piano?
Skyler: A bit.
Will: Okay, when you look at a piano you see Mozart, right?
Skyler: I see "Chopsticks."

Will: Does this violate the doctor-patient relationship?
Sean: Not unless you grab my a**.

Will: You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.

Lambeau: Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

Will: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a s***. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the a**. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his a** got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the schrapnel in his a** is givin' him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Sean: She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.

---

The Goonies (1985)

Troy's dad: Is your mommy home?
Brand: No, actually she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.

Stef: This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like I'm babysitting, except I'm not getting paid.

[The Fratellis are interrogating Chunk]
Jake: Tell us everything!
Chunk: When I was in third grade, I cheated on my history test. When I was in fourth grade, I stole my uncle Joseph's toupee and glued it to my face, because I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. When I was in fifth grade, I pushed my sister Edie down the stairs and blamed it on the dog. [beginning to cry] When I was in sixth grade, I did the worst thing ever. I made this pot of fake puke at home and I brought it to the movies up on the balcony and I made this sound---hua-hua-huaaaaaaa---and I dumped the puke over the side. And, oh this is awful, everyone started getting sick, throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Jake: I'm beginning to like this kid!

---

Grease (1978)

Sandy: I'm going back to Australia. I might never see you again.
Danny: Don't talk that way, Sandy.
Sandy: But it's true! I just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go back. [Danny starts kissing her.] Danny, don't spoil it!
Danny: It's not spoiling it, Sandy. It's only making it better.
Sandy: Oh, Danny, is this the end?
Danny: No, Sandy. It's only the beginning.

Rizzo: Look who's coming! Patty Simcox, the greatest thing ever to happen to Rydell High... [to Patty] Hi!
Patty: Oh I just love the first day of school, don't you?
Rizzo: [sarcastically] It's the biggest thrill of my life.
Patty: Hey, they just announced the nominees for student council this morning and guess who's up for vice president?
Rizzo: Who?
Patty: *Me*! Isn't that the most? At the least?
Rizzo: Definitely the least!

McGee: If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

Danny: Oh, that's cool, baby. You know how it is, rockin' an' rollin' an' what not.

Sandy: Are you making fun of me, Riz?
Rizzo: Some people are so touchy.

Danny: Oh, bite the weenie, Riz.
Rizzo: With relish.

Marty: What's with you tonight?
Rizzo: I feel like a defective typewriter.
Marty: Huh?
Rizzo: I skipped a period.
Marty: Think you're P.G.?

Danny: You can't just walk out of a drive-in.

Frenchy: I wish I had a guardian angel to tell me what to do. You know like Debbie Reynolds had in "Tammie." What do you think?
Waitress: If you find him, give him my phone number.

Vince: Hi, I'm Vince Fontaine, I'm judging the dance contest.
Marty: I don't think I'm entered.
Vince: A knockout like you? What's your name?
Marty: Marty.
Vince: Marty what?
Marty: Maraschino. You know, as in cherry.

Cha Cha: They call me Cha Cha because I'm the best dancer at St. Bernadette's.
Frenchy: With the worst reputation.

Sonny: When a guy picks a chick over his buddies, somethin' gotta be wrong!

---

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)

Martin: If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.

Bert: "Oh what a piece of work is man, how noble"... Ah, f*** it! Let's have a drink and forget the whole G**-d***ed thing.

[To her son]
Mary: You're a handsome devil. What's your name?

[To Debi's father, while fleeing from Grocer.]
Martin: I was hired to kill you. But I'm not going to. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or I have a newfound respect for life.
[In pursuing car]
Grocer: That punk's either in love with that guy's daughter or he's got a newfound respect for life.

[Martin gives Debi a bouquet of flowers.]
Debi: I'll go put these in some rubbing alcohol.

McCullers: You got any ideas how you wanna wax this guy?
Lardner: Can't you just say 'kill'? Ya always gotta romanticize it.

Dr. Oatman: Martin, I'm emotionally involved with you.
Martin: How are you emotionally involved with me?
Dr. Oatman: I'm afraid of you.
Martin: You're afraid of me.
Dr. Oatman: And that constitutes an emotional involvement, and it would be unethical for me to work with you under those circumstances.

Martin: You don't know my cat. It's very demanding.
Debi: "It"? You don't know if it's a boy or a girl?
Martin: I respect its privacy.

Martin: Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion?
Marcella: I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.

Debi: So, what have you been doing with your life?
Martin: Professional Killer.
Debi: Oh...you get dental with that?

Debi: You know what you need? Shakabuku.
Martin: What's that?
Debi: The swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever.
Martin: That sounds great... I think.

Martin: Thousands of innocent people die every day. Detonate one rich guy's dog, and you're a marked man for life.

Martin: It's true what they say Oatman, you can never go home again, but I guess you can shop there.

Debi: You're a psychopath.
Martin: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right.

Grocer: Workers of the world, unite!

Grocer (singing): I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come / I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come / I'll be blowin' your f***in' head off / I'll be blowin' your f***in' head off / I'll be whackin' your f***in' mind out when I come.

Waitress: What do you want in your omelet?
Martin: Nothing.
Waitress: Well, that's not technically an omelet.
Martin: Look, I don't want to get into a semantic argument about it, I just want the protein.

Martin: I'm a professional killer.
David: Do you have to do post-graduate work for that?

Mr. Newberry: What have you been doing with yourself?
Martin: Uh, professional killer.
Mr. Newberry: Good for you. Growth industry.

Amy: What do you do?
Martin: I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southlands.

[Into the mirror, preparing for his high school reunion.]
Martin: Hi, remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.

Dr. Oatman: Don't kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like.
Martin: I'll give it a shot.
Dr. Oatman: No, don't shoot anybody.

Debi: Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?

---

Groundhog Day (1993)

First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly.

Mrs. Lancaster: Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors?
Phil: I slept alone, Mrs. Lancaster.

Ned: Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, I mean, who couldn't? But let me tell something--I got's a feeling [whistles] you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right or am I right?

Phil: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you?
Rita: You're incredible.
Phil: Who told you?

Phil: There is a major network interested in me.
Larry: That would be the Home Shopping Network.

Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?
Phil: No, thank you. I've seen Larry eat.

Phil: Where's everybody going?
Piano teacher: To Gobbler's Knob. It's Groundhog Day.
Phil: It's still just once a year, isn't it?

Phil: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs. Lancaster?
Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.

Phil: Well, it's groundhog day... again.

Phil: I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...

Phil: Can I talk to you about a matter that is not work-related?
Rita: You never talk about work.

Rita: Are you drunk or something?
Phil: Drunk is more fun.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

Gus: Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive.

Phil: It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room!", "Stand up straight!", "Pick up your feet!", "Take it like a man!", "Be nice to your sister!", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever!". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track!"
Gus: Eh, Phil. That's one I happen to agree with.

[Driving down the railroad tracks toward an approaching train.]
Phil: I'm betting he's going to swerve first.

Phil: Yeah, 3 cheeseburgers, 2 large fries, 2 chocolate shakes and a large coke.

Phil: There is no way this winter is *ever* going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.

Phil: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute?
Rita: I don't know. Can you?

Phil: I am asking you for help!
Rita: Well, what do you want me to do?
Phil: I don't know! You're a producer! Think of something!

Phil: Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?

Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.

Phil: I am a god, not the God, but a god.

Phil: I've been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.
Rita: Oh, really?
Phil: Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender.. I am an immortal!

Phil: Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

Rita: Have you ever had deja vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?

Phil: You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson?
Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so...

Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.

Rita: What did you do today?
Phil: Oh, same-old same-old.

Ned: What are you doing later?
Rita: Something else.

Phil: Do you know what today is?
Rita: No, what?
Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened.