Sabrina (1954)

Sabrina (narrating): Once upon a time, on the north shore of Long Island, some 30 miles from New York, there lived a small girl on a large estate. The estate was very large indeed. It had many servants. There were gardeners to take care of the gardens, and a tree surgeon on a retainer. There was a boatman to take care of the boats: to put them in the water in the spring, and to scrape their bottoms in the winter. There were specialists to take care of the grounds: the outdoor tennis court and the indoor tennis court, the outdoor swimming pool and the indoor swimming pool. And there was a man of no particular title who took care of a small pool in the garden for a goldfish named George. Also on the estate, there was a chauffeur by the name of Fairchild, who had been imported from England, years ago, together with a new Rolls Royce. Fairchild was a fine chauffeur of considerable polish, like the eight cars in his care, and he had a daughter by the name of Sabrina. It was the eve of the annual six meter yacht races, and as had been tradition on Long Island for the last 30 years, the Larrabees were giving a party. It never rained on the night of the Larrabee party, the Larrabees wouldn't have stood for it. There were four Larrabees in all: father, mother and two sons. Maude and Oliver Larrabee were married in 1906. Among their many wedding presents was a townhouse in New York, and this estate for weekends. The town house has since been converted into Saks Fifth Avenue. Linus Larrabee, the elder son, graduated from Yale, where his classmates voted him the man Most Likely to Leave his Alma Mater Fifty Million Dollars. His brother, David, went through several of the best eastern colleges for short periods of time, and through several marriages for even shorter periods of time. He is now a successful six gold polo player, and is listed on Linus's tax return as a six hundred dollar deduction. Life was pleasant among the Larrabees, for this was a close to heaven as one could get on Long Island.

Baron St. Fontanel: A woman happy in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappy in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.

The Professor: Bonjour, mesdames et monsiuers. Yesterday we have learned the correct way how to boil water. Today we will learn the correct way how to crack an egg. Now, an egg is not a stone; it is not made of wood, it is a living thing. It has a heart. So when we crack it, we must not torment it. We must be merciful and execute it quickly, like with the guillotine.

David Larrabee: You don't live here!
Sabrina: Yes, I do.
David Larrabee: I live here!
Sabrina: Hi, neighbor.

---

Sabrina (1995)

Linus: Listen, I work in the real world with real responsibilities.
Sabrina: I know you work in the real world and you're very good at it. But that's work. Where do you live Linus?

Linus: It really is a beautiful name. How did you get it?
Sabrina: My father's reading of course.
Linus: Oh?
Sabrina: "Sabrina fair, listen where thou art sitting, under the glassy, cool, transluscent wave, in twisted braids of lilies knitting, the loose train of thy amber dropping hair."

Linus: So your little poem, what does it mean?
Sabrina: It's the story of a water sprite that saves a virgin from a fate worse than death.
Linus: And Sabrina's the virgin.
Sabrina: Sabrina's the savior.

Sabrina: You probably don't believe in marriage.
Linus: Yes, I do. That's why I never got married.

Sabrina: More isn't always better, Linus. Sometimes it's just more.

David: You guys work Sundays, now?
Linus: It's Wednesday, David.

Linus: Go ahead, say it.
Fairchild: You don't deserve her.
Linus: I don't, I know that. But I need her, and I don't need anything.

Linus: Well I just don't feel like buying anymore networks this year. There's never anything good on.

Linus: I've been following in footsteps all my life. Save me, Sabrina fair, you're the only one who can.

Linus: I think you know I love you. And you promised if there was anything you could ever do...

Linus: I pay for your life, David. My life makes your life possible.
David: I resent that!
Linus: So do I!

Sabrina: I never thought of you as a dancer.
Linus: I'm crazy about it. They call me Bojangles at the office.

Sabrina: They say you think morals are pictures on walls and scruples is money in Russia.

Airline attendant: First time on the Concorde, Mr. Larrabee?
Linus: Yes.
Airline attendant: But not your first time in Paris?
Linus: It is my first everything.

Sabrina: They say you're the world's only living heart donor.

Sabrina: Paris is always a good idea.

Linus Larrabee's secretary: We were up to our elbows in your underwear drawer. It was like touching the Shroud of Turin.

Sabrina: You know, I've been to every party you've ever had. Right there. in that tree, like a bat. Now, here we are... dancing in front of God and everyone.

David: Sabrina?!
Linus: Why does he keep saying that?

Sabrina: What was Linus like as a boy?
Fairchild: Shorter.

---

The Saint (1997)

[Simon prepares to pick the lock on the door of a Russian government building, only to find it unlocked.]
Simon: I love this country.

Simon: The worst part about being you is pretending to be so bad in bed.

Simon: If you think that by giving cold fusion to the world and giving up unimaginable wealth you'll make us happy, you're right.

Emma: Who are you?
Simon: Nobody has a clue. Least of all me.

Simon: Tell me you love me.
Emma: I love you.
Simon: Simon.
Emma: I love you, Simon.
Simon: Miracle three.

---

The Sandlot (1993)

Benny: Anyone who wants to be a can't-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand. [Everyone raises their hands.]

Benny: Just stand there and stick your glove out in the air.

Smalls: Face it, I'm just an egghead.

Squints: If you'da been thinkin you wouldn't 'a thought that.

Squints: It's about time, Benny, my clothes are goin' outa style.

"The Babe": Heros get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.

---

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."

Miller: I don't gripe to you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that.
Reiben: Sorry, sir, but let's say you weren't a Captain, or maybe I was a Major. What would you say then?
Miller: In that case, I'd say this is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir. Worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover, I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down the lives of me and my men---especially you, Reiben---to ease her suffering.

[Lining up a rifle shot.]
Jackson: Be not that far from me, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me.

[Lining up a rifle shot.]
Jackson: Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.

[Lining up a rifle shot.]
Jackson: My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.

[Lining up a rifle shot.]
Jackson: O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.

Jackson: Seems to me, Cap'n, this mission is a serious misallocation of valuable military resources.

Jackson: Well, sir, seems to me, God gave me a special gift, fashioned in me a fine instrument of warfare.

Horvath: I don't know. Part of me thinks the kid's right. He asks what he's done to deserve this. He wants to stay here, fine. Let's leave him and go home. But then another part of me thinks, what if by some miracle we stay, then actually make it out of here. Someday we might look back on this and decide that saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful mess. Like you said, Captain, maybe we do that, we all earn the right to go home.

Miller: Caen is the key. You take Caen, you've got St. Lo.
Hamill: You take St. Lo, you've got Bologne.
Miller: You take Bologne, you've got Cherbourg.
Hamill: You take Cherbourg, you've got Paris.
Miller: You take Paris, you've got Berlin. Take Berlin, you get that boat ride home.

Miller: James... I'm here to tell you your brothers were killed in combat. They're dead.
Ryan: Which one, sir?
Miller: All of them.

Horvath: You don't know when to shut up; you don't know *how* to shut up!

Reiben: I got a bad feeling about this one.
Miller: When was the last time you felt good about anything?

Jackson: What I mean, sir, is if you was to put me with this here Springfield rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... well, pack your bags, boys. War's over.

Miller: It's like finding a needle in a stack of needles.

Reiben: What's the use in risking the lives of the 8 of us to save one guy?

Miller: He better be worth it. He better go home and cure a disease, or invent a longer-lasting lightbulb.

Reiben: You wouldn't shoot the kraut and now you're gonna shoot me?
Horvath: He's better than you.

Horvath: This time the mission is the man.

Miller: Sometimes I wonder if I've changed so much, my wife is even gonna recognize me whenever it is I get back to her... and how I'll ever be able to... tell about days like today. Ahh, Ryan... I don't know anything about Ryan, I don't care. The man means nothing to me, he's just a name. But if, you know, if going to Reméal, and finding him so he can go home, if that earns me the right to get back to my wife, well then... then that's my mission.

Miller: We're not here to do the decent thing, we're here to follow f***ing orders.

Miller: Things have taken a turn for the surreal.

Ryan: Picture a girl who took a nose dive from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Miller: Earn this.

---

Say Anything... (1989)

Lloyd: One question: do you need someone or do you need me?
Diane: I need you.

Corey: That'll never be me, that'll never be me. That'll never be, never be me. NO! ... NO, NEVER, NEVER, EVER! And don't you EVER THINK IT!

Lloyd: Joe, she's written 65 songs about you, and they're all about pain.

Corey: Brains stick with brains. The bomb could go off and their mutant genes would form the same cliques.

Constance: Why do you eat that stuff? There's no food in your food.

Lloyd: Hey, my brother, can I borrow a copy of your "Hey Soul Classics"?
J-Man: No, my brother, you have to go buy your own.

Lloyd: She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

Diane: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd: No. You just described every great success story.

Lloyd: I am looking for a dare to be great situation.

Lloyd: The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Power Lloyd, my assualt on the world begins now.

Corey: Diane Court doesn't go out with guys like you. She's a brain!
D.C.: Trapped in the body of a game-show hostess.

Mike: I don't know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you - how'd you get Diane Court to go out with you?
Lloyd: I called her up.
Mike: But how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you?
Lloyd: I'm Lloyd Dobler.
Mike: This is great. This gives me hope! Thanks!

Lloyd: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Diane: I just can't have any social life right now.
Lloyd: Don't worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti-social.
Diane: Be friends?
Lloyd: Yeah. With potential.

[To a bunch of guys sitting on the curb at the Gas 'n' Sip]
Lloyd: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
[There is a pause as they look at each other]
Joe: By choice, man!

Lloyd: You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.

D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd: 'Cause I'm a guy! I have pride!
Corey: You're not a guy.
Lloyd: I am.
Corey: No. The world is full of guys. Don't be a guy. Be a man.

Jim: You're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
Lloyd: I'm the distraction that's going with her to England, sir.

Lloyd: What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it.

---

Schindler's List (1993)

Stern: Let me understand. They put up all the money. I do all the work. What, if you don't mind my asking, would you do?
Schindler: I'd make sure it's known the company's in business. I'd see that it had a certain panache. That's what I'm good at. Not the work, not the work... the presentation.

Goethe: Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. Six hundred years ago when elsewhere they were footing the blame for the Black Death, Kazimerz the Great, so called, told the Jews they could come to Krakow. They came. They trundled their belongings into the city. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business, science, education, the arts. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For six centuries there has been a Jewish Krakow. By this evening those six centuries will be a rumour. They never happened. Today is history.

Goethe: One of you is a very lucky girl. There is an opening for a job away from all this back-breaking work, in my new villa. Umm, which of you has domestic experience? Ja, on second thought, I don't really want someone else's maid. All those annoying habits I'd have to undo.

Reiter: I'm a graduate of Civil Engineering from the University of Bonn.
Goethe: Ah, an educated Jew... like Karl Marx himself. Unterscharfuehrer!
Hujar: Jawohl?
Goethe: Shoot her.
Reiter: Herr Kommandant! I'm only trying to do my job!
Goethe: Ja, I'm doing mine.

Goethe: They cast a spell on you, you know, the Jews. When you work closely with them, like I do, you see this. They have this power. It's like a virus. Some of my men are infected with this virus. They should be pitied, not punished. They should receive treatment because this is as real as typhus. I see it all the time. It's a matter of money? Hmm?

Goethe: The truth is always the right answer.

Schindler: Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't.
Goethe: You think that's power?
Schindler: That's what the Emperor said. A man stole something, he's brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor...pardons him. It's a worthless man, he lets him go.
Goethe: I think you are drunk.
Schindler: That's power, Amon. That is power.

[Touching his reflection in a mirror]
Goethe: I pardon you.

Goethe: You're cruel Oskar. You're giving them hope. Now *that's* cruel!

Stern: How many cigarettes have you smoked tonight?
Schindler: Too many.
Stern: You smoke, I smoke half.

Stern: This list... is an absolute good.

Goethe: How much would you pay for a person?

Goethe: You want these people?
Schindler: These people. My people. I want my people.
Goethe: Who are you? Moses?

Schindler: Stern, if this factory ever produces a shell that can actually be fired, I'd be very unhappy.

---

Scrooged (1988)

Frank: Come on, Lou, you paid for the women.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Let's face it, Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you. Frank: Yeah? Name one!

Frank: I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives.

[Frank is confronted by the ghost of his old boss]
Frank: No, you are a hallucination, brought on by alcohol! Russian Vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl!

James Cross: You know what they say about people who treat other people bad on the way up?
Frank: Yeah, you get to treat 'em bad on the way back down too. It's great, you get two chances to rough 'em up!

[Props man tries to attach antlers to a mouse.]
Props man: I can't get the antlers glued to this little guy. We tried Crazy Glue, but it don't work.
Frank: Did you try staples?

---

Sense and Sensibility (1995)

Marianne: To die for love. What could be more glorious?

Margaret: Please don't say anything important till I come back.

Elinor: Margaret has always wanted to travel.
Edward: I know. She's heading to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated.

Fanny: People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid.

Marianne: Fanny wishes to know where the key to the silver cabinet is kept.
Elinor: Betsy had it I think. What does Fanny want with the silver?
Marianne: One can only presume she wants to count it.

Mama: If you can't think of anything to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.

Edward: My heart is, and always will be, yours.

Elinor: Did he tell you he loved you?
Marianne: Yes... no. Never absolutely. It was everyday implied but never declared.

[Edward and Elinor are baiting Margaret, who is playfully hiding.]
Edward: I wish to check the position of the Nile. My sister tells me it is in South America.
Elinor: No! She's quite wrong, for I believe it is in Belgium.
Edward: You must be thinking of the Volga.
Margaret: The Volga?
Elinor: Of course, the Volga! Which, as you know, starts in -
Edward: Vladivostock, and ends in -
Elinor: Wimbledon.
Edward: Precisely. Where the coffee beans come from.
Margaret: The source of the Nile is in Abbysinia!

Lucy: We were talking of London, ma'am, and all its diversions!

Elinor: I do not attempt to deny, that I think very highly of him - that I greatly esteem, that I like him.
Marianne: Esteem him! Like him! Cold hearted Elinor! Oh! Worse than cold hearted! Ashamed of being otherwise. Use those words again and I will leave the room this moment.

Brandon: I have described Mr. Willoughby as the worst of libertines.

Edward: All I want, all I've ever wanted is the quiet of a private life, but my mother wants me distinguished.

Marianne: Can love really be satisfied with such polite affections? To love is to burn.

Willoughby: Brandon is the sort of man everyone speaks well of, but nobody talks to.

[After Marianne has first met Willougby]
Elinor: Marianne, you must change or you will catch a cold.
Marianne: What care I for colds when there is such a man.
Elinor: You will care very much when your nose swells up.
Marianne: You are right. Help me, Elinor.

Marianne: Always resignation and acceptance. Always prudence and dignity and honour. Elinor, where is your heart?

Marianne: Can he really love her? Can the soul really be satisfied with such polite affections? To love is to burn, to be on fire, all full of passion...
Elinor: What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pressing on me without being at liberty to discuss it with a single soul. Having it forced on me by the very person whose prior claims laid ruin to all my hopes. I have endured her exultations again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you.

---

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

Dorcas: I've always wanted to be a June Bride...

Milly: Don't you like girls?
Gideon: We ain't never hardly ever seen one.

Milly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too.
Adam: What do I need manners for? I already got me a wife.

Caleb: Can't make no vows to a herd of cows.

---

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

[Dropping Henslowe's feet into hot coals.]
Fennyman: Do you know what happens to a man who doesn't pay his debts, Mr. Henslowe? His boots catch fire!

Queen Elizabeth: Use my name with care, sir, lest you may wear it out!

[After sex.]
Viola: I would not have thought it: there *is* something better than a play!
Will: There is.
Viola: Even your play.

Wessex: I cannot shed blood in her house, but I will cut your throat anon. What is your name? Will: Christopher Marlowe, at your service.

Wessex: Is she obedient?
Sir Robert: As any mule in Christendom -- but if you are the man to ride her, there are rubies in the saddlebag.
Wessex: I like her!

Tilney: That woman is a woman!

Wessex: Madam, the tide waits for no man, but I swear it would wait for you.

Queen Elizabeth: I know something of a woman in a man's profession. Yes, I know something about that.

[On first hearing the tragic ending to Romeo and Juliet.]
Henslowe: That'll have them rolling in the aisles.

Henslowe: The show must...
Will (prompting him): Go on!

WILL: Did you give her my letter?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): And this is for you.
[WILL climbs aboard VIOLA'S boat and is tearing open the letter. What hereads causes him great pain. He collapses into the stern next to VIOLA.]
WILL: Oh, Thomas! She has cut my strings! I am unmanned, unmended and unmade, like a puppet in a box.
BOATMAN: Writer, is he?
WILL (savagely): Row your boat. (turning back to Viola) She tells me to keep away. She is to marry Lord Wessex. What should I do?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): If you love her, you must do what she asks.
WILL: And break her heart and mine?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): It is only yours you can know.
WILL: She loves me, Thomas!
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): Does she say so?
WILL: No. And yet she does where the ink has run with tears. Was she weeping when she gave you this?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): I ... Her letter came to me by the nurse.
WILL: Your aunt?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): Yes, my aunt. But perhaps she wept a little. Tell me how you love her, Will.
WILL: Like a sickness and its cure together.
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): Yes, like rain and sun, like cold and heat. (collecting herself) Is your lady beautiful? Since I came to visit from the country, I have not seen her close. Tell me, is she beautiful?
WILL: Oh, if I could write the beauty of her eyes! I was born to look in them and know myself. [He is looking into VIOLA'S eyes. She holds his look, but WILL belies his words.]
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): And her lips?
WILL: Oh, Thomas, her lips! The early morning rose would wither on the branch, if it could feel envy!
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): And her voice? Like lark song?
WILL: Deeper. Softer. None of your twittering larks. I would banish the nightingales from her garden before they interrupt her song.
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): She sings too? WILL: Constantly. Without doubt. And plays the lute, she has a natural ear. And her bosom - did I mention her bosom?
VIOLA (AS THOMAS) (glinting): What of her bosom?
WILL: Oh Thomas, a pair of pippons! As round and rare as golden apples!
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): I think the lady is wise to keep your love at a distance. For what lady could live up to it close when her eyes and lips and voice may be no more beautiful than mine? Besides, can lady born to wealth and noble marriage love happily with a Bankside poet and player?
WILL (fervently): Yes, by God! Love knows nothing of rank or riverbank! It will spark between a queen and the poor vagabond who plays the king, and their love should be minded by each, for love denied blights the soul we owe to God! So tell my lady, William Shakespeare waits for her in the garden!
VIOLA (AS THOMAS): But what of Lord Wessex?
WILL: For one kiss, I would defy a thousand Wessexes!
[The boat scrapes on the jetty of the DE LESSEPS house. The bump throws Viola into WILL'S arms. He holds her round the shoulders. His words have almost unmasked her. The closeness does the rest. She kisses him on the mouth and jumps out of the boat.]
VIOLA: Oh, Will!
[She throws a coin to the BOATMAN and runs towards the house.]
BOATMAN: Thank you, my lady!
WILL (stunned): Lady?
BOATMAN: Viola De Lesseps. Known her since she was this high. Wouldn't deceive a child.

Fennyman: This time we take your boots off!
Henslowe: What have I done, Mr. Fennyman?
FENNYMAN: The theatres are all closed by the plaque!
HENSLOWE: Oh, that... Mr. Fennyman, let me explain about the theatre business... The natural condition is one of unsurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. Believe me, to be closed by the plague is a bagatelle in the ups and downs of owning a theatre.
FENNYMAN: So what do we do?
HENSLOWE: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
FENNYMAN: How?
HENSLOWE: I don't know. It's a mystery.

WILL: Kit ...
MARLOWE: How goes it, Will?
WILL: Wonderful, wonderful.
MARLOWE: Burbage says you have a play.
WILL: I have. And chinks to show for it.
[His drink arrives. WILL places a sovereign on the bar.]
WILL: I insist - and a beaker for Mr. Marlowe.
[The BARMAN does the business.]
WILL: I hear you have a new play for the Curtain.
MARLOWE: Not new - my "Doctor Faustus".
WILL: I love your early work. "Was this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?"
MARLOWE: I have a new one nearly done, and better. "The Massacre at Paris."
WILL: Good title.
MARLOWE: And yours?
WILL: "Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter." [after seeing Marlowe's reaction] Yes, I know.
MARLOWE: What is the story ?
WILL: Well, there's a pirate... (confesses) In truth, I have not written a word.
MARLOWE: Romeo is... Italian. Always in and out of love.
WILL: Yes, that's good. Until he meets...
MARLOWE: Ethel.
WILL: Do you think?
MARLOWE: The daughter of his enemy.
WILL (thoughtfully): The daughter of his enemy.
MARLOWE: His best friend is killed in a duel by Ethel's brother or something. His name is Mercutio.
WILL: Mercutio ... good name.
[NOL hurries back to WILL'S side.]
NOL: Will - they're waiting for you!
WILL: I'm coming. [He drains his glass.] Good luck with yours, Kit.
MARLOWE: I thought your play was for Burbage.
WILL: The is a different one.
MARLOWE: (trying to work it out) A different one you haven't written?
[WILL makes a helpless gesture and hurries after NOL.]

ALLEYN: Gentlemen upstage, ladies downstage!
[The dance goes wrong. It is Viola/Thomas's fault.]
ALLEYN (furious): Gentlemen upstage! Ladies downstage! Are you a lady, Mr. Kent?
[Viola/Thomas mutters a blushing apology. WILL arrives among the bystanders, clutching fresh pages. He gives these to PETER. NED ALLEYN sees him and comes over to start an argument.] WILL: You did not like the speech?
ALLEYN: The speech is excellent. "Oh then I see Queen Mab hath been with you!" Excellent and a good length. But then he disappears for the length of a bible.
[WILL points significantly at the pages he had given PETER.]
WILL: There you have his duel, a skirmish of words and swords such as I never wrote, nor anyone. He dies with such passion and poetry as you ever heard: "a plague on both your houses!"
[NED nods satisfied and turns back to work. Then he turns back.]
ALLEYN: He dies ?
[But Will is gone]

VIOLA (in a frozen curtsey): Your Majesty.
QUEEN: Stand up straight, girl.
[VIOLA straightens. The QUEEN examines her.]
QUEEN: I have seen you. You are the one who comes to all the plays - at Whitehall, at Richmond.
VIOLA (agreeing): Your Majesty.
QUEEN: What do you love so much ?
VIOLA: Your Majesty?..
QUEEN: Speak out! I know who I am. Do you love stories of kings and queens? Feats of arms? Or is it courtly love?
VIOLA: I love theatre. To have stories acted for me by a company of fellows is indeed -
QUEEN (interrupting): They are not acted for you, they are acted for me.
[VIOLA remains silent, in apology]
QUEEN: And - ?
VIOLA: And I love poetry above all.
QUEEN: Above Lord Wessex?
[She looks over VIOLA'S shoulder and VIOLA realizes WESSEX has moved up behind her. WESSEX bows.]
QUEEN (to WESSEX): My lord - when you cannot find your wife you had better look for her at the playhouse.
[The COURTIERS titter at her pleasantry.]
QUEEN: But playwrights teach nothing about love, they make it pretty, they make it comical, or they make it lust. They cannot make it true.
VIOLA (blurts): Oh, but they can!
[She has forgotten herself. The COURTIERS gasp. The QUEEN considers her. WESSEX looks furious. Will is touched.]
VIOLA: I mean... your Majesty, they do not, they have not, but I believe there is one who can -
WESSEX: -Lady Viola is... young in the world. Your Majesty is wise in it. Nature and truth are the very enemies of play acting. I'll wager my fortune.
QUEEN: I thought you were here because you had none.
[Titters again. WESSEX could kill somebody.]
QUEEN (by way of dismissing him): Well, no-one will take your wager, it seems.
WILL: Fifty pounds!
[Shock and horror. QUEEN ELIZABETH is the only person amused.]
QUEEN: Fifty pounds! A very worthy sum on a very worthy question. Can a play show us the very truth and nature of love ? I bear witness to the wager, and will be the judge of it as occasion arises.
[A scatter of applause. She gathers her skirts and stands]
Queen: I have not seen anything to settle it yet.
[She moves away, everybody bowing and scraping]
Queen: So - the fireworks will be soothing after the excitements of Lady Viola's audience.

WILL: Marlowe's touch was in my "Titus Andronicus" and my "Henry VI" was a house built on his foundations.
VIOLA: You never spoke so well of him.
WILL: He was not dead before. I would exchange all my plays to come for all of his that will never come.

WILL: Oh, my love ... (he kisses her) You ran from me before.
VIOLA: You were not dead before. When I thought you dead, I did not care about all the plays that will never come, only that I would never see your face. I saw our end, and it will come.
WILL: You cannot marry Wessex!
VIOLA: If not you, why not Wessex? All other men but you are the same man who is not you.
[They kiss again, passionately]
WILL: No... no!
VIOLA (through his kisses): But I will go to Wessex as a widow to these vows, as solemn as they are unsanctified.

Will: It is not a comedy I am writing now. A broad river divides my lovers - family, duty, fate - as unchangeable as nature.

Henslowe: It starts well, and then it's all long-faced about some Rosaline. Where's the comedy, Will. Where's the dog?

Wessex: Now pay attention, Nursy. The Queen, Gloriana Regina, God's Chosen Vessel, the Radiant One, who shines her light upon us, is at Greenwich today, and prepared, during the evening's festivities, to bestow her gracious favour on my choice of wife - and if we're late for lunch, the old boot will not forgive. So get you to my lady's chamber and produce her with or without her under garments.

Alleyn: Silence, you dog! I am Hieronimo! I am Tamberlaine! I am Faustus! I am Barrabas, the Jew of Malta - oh yes, Master Will, and I am Henry VI. What is the play and what is my part?

Queen: Yes, the illusion is remarkable and your error, Mr. Tilney, is easily forgiven, but I know something of a woman in a man's profession, yes, by God, I do know about that....

Tilney: I arrest you in the name of Queen Elizabeth...Everybody! the Admiral's Men, The Chamberlain's Men, and every one of you ne'er-do-wells who stands in contempt of the authority invested in me by her Majesty.

Burbage: Where is that thieving hack who can't keep his own pen in his ink pot?

Dr. Moth: Tell me, are you lately humbled in the act of love?

Viola's Nurse: Well-monied is the same as well-born, and well-married is more so. Lord Wessex was looking at you tonight.

Fennyman: Listen to me, you dregs! - actors are ten a penny, and I, Hugh Fennyman, hold your nuts in my hand.

Wabash: "T-t-t-two h-h-households b-both alike in d-d-d-dignity."

---

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Red (narrating): Prison life consists of routine, and then more routine.

[Andy after Warden Norton refuse to appeal his case.]
Andy: It's my life. Don't you understand? IT'S MY LIFE!

Norton: I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.

Red (narrating): I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.

Brooks: Easy peasy japanesey.

Hadley: If I hear as much as a mouse fart in here every one of you will visit the infirmary.

Prosecutor: And that also is very convenient, isn't it, Mr. Dufresne?
Andy: Since I am innocent of this crime, I find it decidedly *inconvenient* that the gun was never found.

Hadley: The government reaches inside your shirt and squeezes until your tit turns purple.

Hadley: What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?

Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.

Red (narrating): The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing s*** they throw on you, and when they put you in that cell... and those bars slam home...that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it.

Red (narrating): These walls are kind of funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them. That's institutionalized. They send you here for life, that's exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyways.

Red (narrating): His first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.

Red (narrating): I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.

[On playing opera records in the prison.] Andy: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget. Forget that there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's a - there's a - there's something inside that's yours, that they can't touch.

Andy: That's the beauty of music. They can't take that away from you.

Andy: If they ever try to trace any of those accounts, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination.
Red: Well, I'll be d***ed. Did I say you were good? S***, you're a Rembrandt!
Andy: Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

Red (narrating): Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of s*** and came out clean on the other side.

Red (narrating): Forty years I been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so.

Red (reading a note left by Andy): Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.

Hadley: What the Christ is this happy horses***?
Prisoner: Hey, he took the Lord's name in vain! I'm tellin' the warden!
Hadley: You'll be tellin' the warden about my baton up your a**!

Red (narrating): We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy - he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer.

Red (narrating): And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of forty-nine wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison.
Hadley: Drink up while it's cold, ladies.

Red (narrating): You could argue he'd done it to curry favor with the guards. Or, maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again, if only for a short while.

Red: Makin' yourself some friends, Andy.
Andy: I wouldn't say "friends". I'm a convicted murderer who provides sound financial planning.

Boggs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya. And when you swallow mine you gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it.
Andy: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.
Boggs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight inches of steel in your ear.
Andy: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex is so strong they have to pry the victims jaws open with a crow bar.
Boggs: Where do you get this s***?
Andy: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant f***?

Warden: He vanished like a fart in the wind.

[Andy has asked Red to procure Rita Hayworth.]
Andy: Can you get her?
Red: It'll take a few weeks.
Andy: Weeks?
Red: Well yeah, Andy. I don't have her stuffed down my pants right now, sorry to say, but relax, I'll get her.

[Watching Rita Hayworth in "Gilda" (qv)]
Red: I love when she does that s*** with her hair.

Andy: Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Floyd: Red, I do believe you're talking out of your ass.

Red: Rehabilitated? Now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means.
Parole official: Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society.
Red: I know what you think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up word; a politician's word. So young fellas like yourself can wear a suit, and tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?
Parole official: Well, are you?
Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a b***s*** word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a s***.
[Scene with someone marking Red's file "Parole Approved."]

Red (narrating): I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

Red (narrating): I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

---

She's All That (1999)

Lanie: Am I a bet? Am I a F***ING BET?!

Dean: Is that a no?
Lanie: That's a hell no!

Zach: What was that?
Lanie: I was busy.
Zach: Yeah, busy wiggin'.
Lanie: I did not wig.
Zach: Oh, there was major wiggage.

---

Silverado (1985)

Emmett: Blind Pete always said you'd hang. I guess tomorrow at dawn he'll be proved right.
Langston: Ten A.M.
Emmett: Oh, right, I always thought they did it at dawn.

Langston: What's all this then?
Carter: This nigger came in here and started bustin' up my bar.
Langston: I don't like that word, Carter.

Deputy: Sheriff! They're almost out of our jurisdiction!
[A rifle bullet knocks off the Sheriff's hat.]
Langston: Today, my jurisdiction ends here. Pick up my hat, would you?

Conrad: Wait a minute. Even if you do get the money, how do we know you'll come back?
Emmett: Well, if we don't you can keep my brother.

Paden: Hangin' around with you is no picnic.

Stella: I am the Evening Star. I'm always there, but I only shine at night.

Jake: I got things to do, kid, I'm a busy man.
Auggie: I go with you.
Jake: A grown man can't have a little boy with him everywhere he goes.
Auggie: Well, who's a grown man?

Paden: I'm a great believer in doin' nothing.

Cobb: We're gonna give you a fair trial, followed by a first class hanging.

Stella: Some people think because they're stronger or meaner, they can push you around. But it's only true if you let it be. The world is what you make of it.

[Sheriff Cobb has just found two of his men dead in the jail.]
Cobb: Get Kyle and Dusty over here. And keep your eyes open! I'm runnin' out of deputies.

Shopkeeper: What's goin' on, sheriff?
Cobb: Hide and watch.

[Emmett saves Paden's life with a sip of water from his canteen after discovering him abandoned and baking in the desert.]
Paden: Pleased to meet you.

Paden: They just jumped you out of the blue?
Emmett: I had to get up anyway.

[Paden has gotten his horse back and they're "kissing" each other.]
Marshall: How do I know this is your horse?
Paden: Can't you see this horse loves me?
Marshall: I had a gal do that to me. It didn't make her my wife.

Hobart: Baxter! Hawley! Where the hell've you been? You're late and I tell you, I don't like it. It's a bad start, boys. I got my people down there throwin' snowballs and rarin' to go.
Emmett: I'm afraid it is a bad start, friend, 'cause my name ain't Baxter, he ain't Hawley.
Hobart: You're not Baxter?
Emmett: Name's Emmett.
Hobart: You're not Baxter either?
Paden: No, I'm not *Hawley*.

Langston: What's all this, then?

Mal: Mister, you got a lot to learn about people.

Jake: All I did was kiss a girl.

Hannah: I want to build something. Make things grow. That takes hard work. A lifetime of it. That's not why a man comes to a pretty woman. After a while I won't be so pretty. But this land will be.

Mal: Now I don't wanna kill you, and you don't wanna be dead.

---

Simon Birch (1998)

Joe: Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.

Simon: You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.

Simon: I'm a miracle you know.
Joe: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Simon: Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: What if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: Then I would have to commit you.

Simon: If God's made the church bake sale a priority, we're in a lot of trouble.

---

Sixteen Candles (1984)

The Geek: Would you guys please hurry up, I'm breaking like 20 major laws right now.

The Geek: Where am I?
Caroline: I'll tell you where you are if you tell me who you are.
The Geek: I'm Farmer Ted.
Caroline: You're in the parking lot across from my church.
The Geek: You own a church?

Mike: She's got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon, eh?
Dad: Where do you kids learn all this stuff?
Mike: School.
Dad: Good, I'm getting my money's worth.

Ginny: I love Rudy, and he is totally enamored of me. I mean, other men have loved me, but not for six whole months in a row.

Randy: Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion!

Mom: Can you remember to turn off the stove in twenty minutes?
Samantha: I can remember lots of things.

Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies!
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass! Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY! [reaches to cup them]
[cut to:]
Samantha: I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up!

[Caroline is very drunk.]
Caroline: Who's he?
Jake: That's me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I'm him.
Caroline: Oh, ok.

The Geek: This information cannot leave this room. Ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
Samantha: No problem.
The Geek: I've never bagged a babe. I'm not a stud.
[Samantha laughs]

Samantha: It's really human of you to listen to all my b***s***.

The Geek: You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile.
Samantha: Go to hell.
The Geek: VERY hostile!

Samantha: I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.

The Geek: How's it going?
Samantha: How's what going?
The Geek: You know - things, life, whatnot.
Samantha: Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business.

The Geek: By night's end, I predict me and her will interface.

Samantha: When you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose. Right? Randy: That's a cheerful thought.

Samantha: This is Farmer Fred.
The Geek: Ted.
Samantha: Oh, I'm sorry, Farmer Ted.
The Geek: I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman.

Dad: That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

Dad: Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.
Samantha: Mike thinks I'm a dork.
Dad: Mike is a dork.

Samantha: I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek!

Jake: I can get a piece of ass any time I want. S***, I got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.
The Geek: What are you waiting for!?

The Geek: I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me.

The Geek: Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?

The Geek: Nice manners, babe.

Randy: Geek, can I be honest with you?
The Geek: Not if you're gonna insult me.
Randy: [laughs] Ok.
The Geek: Shoot.
Randy: Get the hell outta here!

The Geek: Just answer me one question.
Samantha: Yes, you're a total faggot.
The Geek: Ha ha ha. That's not the question.

Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
Jake: Thanks for coming over.
Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
Jake: Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: It already came true.

---

Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)

Martin: I remember the time you ran off and tried to leave me. Need I remind you how worried I was about you?
Laura: No. You reminded me enough the night you brought me back here.
Martin: You're not suggesting I enjoyed that, are you?
Laura: Oh, God, no. That would make you a monster.

Martin: I can't live without you. And I won't let you live without me.

Laura (on phone, with gun aimed at Martin): Police? Come quickly. I've just shot an intruder.

---

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

[Jay is helping Sam get back into the dating scene]
Sam: What is Tiramisu?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

Jay: Gunga Din is not a, a swatch kind of movie.

Dr. Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
Dr. Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Dr. Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... the only real home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car. It was like... magic.

Annie: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.

Becky: Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Jonah: Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
Sam: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.

Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam: The Bermuda Triangle.

Jonah: Thanks for dinner. I've never seen potatoes cooked like that before.

Jessica: I am telling them you're twelve so you can fly unaccompanied and the stewardess won't carry you around and stuff like that.
Jonah: Are you crazy! Who'd believe I'm twelve?
Jessica: If it's in the computer, they believe anything.
Jonah: Are you sure?
Jessica: Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Jonah: Yeah, that's a great idea!

[The Taxi Driver takes Jonah to the Empire State Building]
Taxi Driver: There it is. What are you gonna do when you get up there? Spit off the top?

---

Sliding Doors (1998)

Helen: Jerry, I asked you a simple question! There is no need for you to become Woody Allen!

Anna: Are you okay?
Helen: Oh yes, I'm just going quietly mad.
Anna: Well, thank goodness for that. I was worried.

James: Everyone is born knowing every single Beatles lyric. It's ingested into the fetus along with all that amniotic stuff. Fact: they should be called "The Fetals."

James: Never joke about a woman's hair, clothes or menstrual cycle. Page one.

Russell: You want my opinion?
Jerry: Will I like it?
Russell: Well, of course not! It'll be based in reality.

Helen: I kissed you.
James: Yeah, I spotted that too.

Russel: Gerry, you are a morality-free zone.

Lydia: I'm a woman. We don't say what we want but we do reserve the right to get pissed off when we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating, and not a little bit scary.

James: Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

---

Sling Blade (1996)

Karl: Some people call it a sling blade. I call it a kaiser blade.

Frank: I like the way you talk.
Karl: Well, I like the way you talk.

Karl: Coffee makes me nervous when I drink it.

Karl: I studied on it. Studied on it quite a bit.

Linda: Karl, you know what? Melinda here was voted employee of the month at the dollar store last February. Isn't that something?
Karl: Yes, ma'am, I reckon.
Melinda: Well, when you like pricing items as much as I do, it's just bound to happen sooner or later, I guess.

Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune just a hummin'.
Doyle: See, you don't want to question the genius, Vaughan. Morris here is a modern-day poet, kinda like in olden times.
Morris: Yeah, I got a new tune in composition entitled "The Thrill." And it goes somethin' like this: "I stand on the hill, not for a thrill, but for the breath of a fresh kill. Never mind the man who contemplates doin' away with license plates. He stands alone, anyhow, bakin' the cookies of discontent by the heat of the laundromat vent. Leavin' his soul!" Then like in poetry I go dot-dot-dot, you know, kinda off center, then I drop down and then I go: "Leavin' his soul! And partin' the waters of the medulla oblongata of---brrrrrr!---mankind!" That was a d*** good song, wasn't it Doyle?

Doyle: What am I supposed to do about supper while you're out runnin' around with that fag? Linda: You're not cripple, get in there and make it yourself.
Doyle: Talkin' back and everything. That kinda makes me horny, Linda.
Linda: Frank, maybe you better go play in your room if Doyle's gonna talk nasty.
Frank: I don't wanna go play in my room.
Doyle: He don't wanna go play in his room.

Karl: That boy lives inside his own heart. That's an awful big place to be.

Karl: I reckon, I'm gonna have to get used to lookin' at pretty people.

Vaughan: You seem like a thinker. You seem to always be deep in thought. So what are you thinking right now?
Karl: I'm thinking I could use some more o' that potted meat, if you have any extry.

Karl: I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody.

Doyle: What are you doing with that blade, there, Karl?
Karl: I aim to kill you with it, mmm hmm.

---

So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

Charlie: Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morning... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

Stuart: Now go and kiss your mother or I'll kick your *teeth* in!

Alcatraz Guide: My name is John Johnson but everyone knows me as Vickie.

Charlie: So Tony, what's the deal with your clothes?
Tony: What do ya mean?
Charlie: I mean you look like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch.
Tony: What are ya talking about, I look hip!
Charlie: No no no no no no no, you look like an undercover cop *trying* to look hip.
Tony: I *am* an undercover cop trying to look hip.

May: Charlie, hand me the paper.
Charlie: Mom, I find it interesting that you call The Weekly World News "the paper." A paper contains facts.

Charlie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart: Because he puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smarta**!

Charlie: I like the night life. I like to boogie.

Charlie: Harriet! Har-ee-et. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.

Stuart: Well, it's a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentaveret, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet triannually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

Harriet: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Harriet: So bright women intimidate you?
Charlie: No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. But it's a shame I'm going to have to destroy you.

Charlie: Marry me.
Harriet: No.
Charlie: Please?

Charlie: I think I'm dating Mrs. X!

Tony: Charlie, two words: therapy.

Charlie: Didn't I order the *large* capuccino?

Stuart: Would ya look at the size of that kid's head! It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system! Looks like an orange on a toothpick!

Stuart: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts!
[under his breath, to Tony]
Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

Stuart: Let's get pissed!

Tony: Excuse me sir, I'm with the San Francisco police department, this is official police business. I would like to commandeer this vehicle!
Driver: No.
Tony: What do you mean, "no"?
Driver: I happen to know for a fact that you have no right to commandeer my vehicle.
Tony: Please, can I commandeer this vehicle?
Driver: No.
Tony: You're just not going to bend on this commandeering thing are you?
Driver: No.

---

Soapdish (1991)

David: I was under orders.
Celeste: So -- was -- Hitler! Oh, no, I don't mean Hitler, I mean the other guy, the other one.
David: Himmler.
Celeste: No, no, no.
David: Hess.
Rose: Eichmann.
David: Eichmann.

[To her male costar.]
Celeste: Next time, could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel? It's a little early in the day for me. [walks off]
Blair Brennan: I can't act in a swimsuit.
Tawny: I know...

Lori: Celeste, I want to act!
Celeste: Don't say that, "I want to act", ever, please!

[An audition]
Betsy Faye Sharon: Very, very good, Mark. And very true. I love what you're doing. I just, I think if we could try it one more time, and this time... I don't know... maybe try one without your shirt.
Mark: Sure. [Removes it and reviews the script] "Will you be having wine with dinner?"
Betsy Faye Sharon (lustily): I think we've found our waiter!

Celeste: David! David!! David, David, David, David, David!
David: Hey, great scene with Bolt.
Celeste: I realize I'm not a young woman; however...
David: What do you mean, you're not...
Celeste: ...could you PLEASE point out to our new costume designer [grabs her] whose name I don't quite have yet...
Tawny: Tawny Miller, Miss Talbert.
Celeste: How do you do. [to David] --that I don't feel quite right in a turban. What I feel like is GLORIA F***ING SWANSON! What am I, 70, David, am I 70? Why don't you just put me in a walker? Buy a g**d*** walker and put me in it!
David (to Tawny): You're fired.
Tawny: Oh God.
David: I'm Just kidding. [into PA system] Attention: no turbans for Miss Talbert!

Celeste: Gloria Swanson is dead, do you understand? I don't mean dead in a sense, I mean actually dead! I am 42 years old; I don't want to be dressed like a dead woman!

Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.

Lori: Hi. Uh, I'm Lori Craven, and... I'm an actress.
Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really, how nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon, and I'm a b****. Now get out of here.

David: Listen, she just won her 8th Schmenger, right? Edmund's crazy about her. She's got a lot of juice.
Montana: Well, that's when you dump people, okay? When they're still on top, before they lose their popularity and drag the show down with them.

Rose: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.

Montana: YOU -- promised me you would get rid of Celeste. WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED!!
David: Hey! We were never naked.
Montana: Well, we could have been!

[Reading unrehearsed lines off the Teleprompter - Jeffery needs contacts]
Celeste: Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here?
Jeffrey: I will if it's that sample. Huh... I wish it was that simple.
Edwards (offstage): This guy never heard of contact lenses?
Jeffrey: The test results have come back.
Celeste: And?
Jeffrey: And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid... [pause] Bran... fluid. Bran flavor.
Burton: What the hell?
David (offstage): Brain fever!
Edwards (offstage, loudly): Say it!
Celeste: Brain fever!
Jeffrey: Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria... [they both goggle at the word] Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the...
Celeste: Literally explode?
Jeffrey: Exactly, within the next three houses.
Celeste: Hours?
Jeffrey: Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.
Celeste: Restaurant?
Jeffrey: Restaurant, yes.
Celeste: Her brain will actually explode?
Jeffrey: Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing.

[Explaining his proposal for a one-man Hamlet play]
Jeffrey: See, my--my theory is that all the characters are Hamlet: it's all happening in Hamlet's head. So you only need one actor.

Celeste (accepting an award): Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: B****!
David: Hag!
Montana: I hate her so much!

Celeste: I never said I was the best mother in the world. Give me a little credit, will you, credit for being someone who tried... to love you the only way she knew how?
Lori: I know that speech.
Celeste: You do?
Lori: Yeah, it was the, uh, the Thanksgiving show, when Maggie meets Bolt's blind nephew.

Betsy Faye Sharon: She came in yesterday. I don't know who the hell she is. Her name is Naven, Maven, Slaven... Claven... there's no agent.
David: Find her.
Betsy Faye Sharon: Well, what if she can't act?
Burton: That never stopped us before!
[Barnes snaps his fingers]
Betsy Faye Sharon: What?
David [snap, snap, snap, snap, snap]: We make her mute!
Burton: What?
David: If she doesn't speak, we don't have to pay her as much. A homeless deaf-mute: what could be more pathetic? God, I'm good.

Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.
Rose: Yeah.
Edwards: We have to love her.
Rose: Mmm.
Edwards: We have to care about her.
Rose: Mmm.
Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.

---

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)

Duncan: I'm here to kick your ass, and you know it, and everybody here knows it, and above all, you deserve it. In fact, I think it's safe to say that this party is about to become a historical fact.

Keith: Well, I like art, I work in a gas station, my best friend is a tomboy. These things don't fly too well in the American high school.

Amanda: I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons then be alone for the right.

Watts: It's better to swallow pride than blood.

Watts: I think we'd get along much better if we didn't spend so much time together anymore.
Keith: Why?
Watts: Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy and I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me. 'Cause I can't afford to have you hate me Keith. The only things I care about in this g**d*** life are me and my drums and you.

Watts: I bet my hands on it.

Watts: You couldn't score her in a million years. A, you're too shy and closed up to even approach her, and B, she'd kill you!

[Watts putts on Keith's diamond earrings]
Watts: What do you think?
Keith: You look good wearing my future.

Keith: Hey, Watts. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Watts: Keith, once a fool, always a fool, right?

Keith: You can't judge a book by its cover.
Watts: Yeah, but you can tell how much it's gonna cost.

Watts: It must be a drag to be a slave to the male sex drive.
Keith: It's not just sex.
Watts: Oh, you want to start a book club with her?

Watts: Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs.

[In the locker room]
Girl: I've just never seen a girl wearing boys' underpants before.
Watts: Have you ever seen a girl with a drumstick shoved up her nose?
Girl: Oh, is that some kind of a threat?
Watts: It's some kind of a warning.

Keith: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
Watts: Me too.
Keith: You always hurt the ones you love.
Watts: So when are you going to beat the s*** out of Amanda Jones?

Watts (to Amanda): Break his heart, I'll break your face.

Laura: Any fool can get into college. Only a select few can say the same about Amanda Jones.

Duncan: This is what my girlfriend would look like without skin.

---

Something to Talk About (1995)

Georgia: What on earth was he thinking of?
Emma Rae: Prob'ly the same thing he was thinkin' with.

[After Emma Rae knees Eddie in the groin.]
Grace: Emma Rae, what did you do to him?!
Emma Rae: You told me to keep him busy. He's busy holding his nuts.
Grace: What is the matter with you?
Emma Rae: Consider it a blow for your dignity.
Grace: What is dignified about kicking somebody in the balls?
Emma Rae: Well... I feel better.

Eddie: Em, Emma Rae.
Emma Rae: Are you addressing me?
Eddie: Yes.
Emma Rae: Well lick it, put a stamp on it, and mail it to someone who gives a s***.

Wylie: I may have fooled around a little bit, but I've never cheated.

---

The Sound of Music (1965)

Max: How many have I had?
Maid: Two.
Max: Make it an uneven three.

Captain: Fraulein, is it to be at every meal, or merely at dinnertime, that you intend on leading us all through this rare and wonderful new world of indigestion?

Max: He's got to at least *pretend* to work with these people. You must convince him.
Maria: I can't ask him to be less than he is.

Baroness Schraeder: Somewhere out there is a lady who I think will never be a nun. Auf Wiedersehen, darling.

Captain: It's the dress. You'll have to put on another one before you meet the children.
Maria: But I don't have another one. When we entered the abbey our worldly clothes were given to the poor.
Captain: What about this one?
Maria: The poor didn't want this one.

Reverend Mother: Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.

Kurt: I wonder what grouse tastes like.

Max: I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making.
Captain: You have no choice.
Max: I know.... That's why I'm making it.

Captain: Oh, there's nothing wrong with the children. Only the governesses.

Captain: You have brought music back in to my life. I had forgotten.

Maria: I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel.
Reverend Mother: Some people would call that honesty.
Maria: Oh but it's terrible, Reverend Mother. You know how Sister Bertha always makes me kiss the floor after we've had a disagreement? Well, lately, I've taken to kissing the floor when I see her coming, just to save time!

Sister Margaretta: After all, the wool from the black sheep is just as warm.

Captain: The first rule of this household is discipline.

Frau Schmidt: Von Trapp children don't play. They march.

Zeller: You flatter me, Captain.
Captain: Oh, how clumsy of me. I meant to accuse you.

Zeller: I've not asked you where you and your family are going. Nor have you asked me why I am here.
Captain: Well, apparently, we're both suffering from a deplorable lack of curiosity.

Baroness Schraeder: Why didn't you tell me?
Max: What?
Baroness: To bring along my harmonica.

Kurt: Only grown-up men are scared of women.

Maria: Kurt, how are you?
Kurt: Hungry.

Max: The Von Trapp Family Singers. Here your names: Leisl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl.
Gretl: Why am I always last?
Max: Because you are the most important.

Maria: Where the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.

Max: What's going to happen's going to happen. Just make sure it doesn't happen to you.
Captain: Max! Don't you *ever* say that again.
Max: You know I have no political convictions. Can I help it if other people do?
Captain: Oh yes, you can help it. You must help it.

Captain: You are the twelfth in a long line of governesses who have come here to look after my children since their mother died. I trust you will be an improvement on the last one. She stayed only two hours.

Maria: There were times when we would look at each other... Oh, Mother, I could hardly breathe!

Maria: Gretl, what happened to your finger?
Gretl: It got caught!
Maria: Caught in what?
Gretl: Friedrich's teeth!

Captain: Were you this much trouble at the Abbey?
Maria: Oh, much more, Sir.

Maria: What about the Baroness?
Captain: There isn't going to be any Baroness. You see, you can't marry someone when you're... in love with someone else.

Baroness Schraeder: There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him.

---

Spaceballs (1987)

[After attempting to get out of a chair with his seatbelt on.]
Barf: Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.

Yogurt: Merchandising. Merchandising. Where the real money from the movie is made.

[Upon going into "ludicrous speed"]
Dark Helmet: My brains... are going into my feet!

Dark Helmet: WHAT? You went over my helmet?

Barf: It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that death, it just isn't us.

Lone Star: A million? That's unfair.
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to the payor but not to the payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!
Barf: Or else what?
Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Or else Pizza is gonna send out for *you*!

[Watching "Spaceballs: The Movie". They reach "now" in the movie.]
Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
Dark Helmet: What hapened to then?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to then.
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.

Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
Lone Star: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
Dark Helmet: Good!

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Guard: What the hell are you doing?
Lone Star: The Vulcan neck pinch?
Guard: No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
[Lone Star changes hand position]
Lone Star: Like this?
Guard: Yeah!
[Guard falls to the ground]
Lone Star: Thanks.

Dark Helmet: Well, I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon.

Lone Star: So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time, for the last time.

Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN???

Computer: Thank you for pressing the self destruct button.

[Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet and the Video Operator are watching Spaceballs, the movie]
Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward!
Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward!
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward!
Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, sir!

[After the self-destruction mechanism has been activated]
President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president!

Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Star: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Star: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

[Princess Vespa has been given a gun]
Princess Vespa: I ain't shooting this thing, I hate guns. [her hair gets singed by a laser] My hair! He shot my hair! Son of a b****! [Begins blasting]

Pizza The Hutt: Well, if it isn't Lone Star. And his sidekick, Puke.

Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with you!

---

Speed (1994)

Payne: Jack, nothing tricky now. You know I'm on top of you! Do *not* attempt to grow a brain!

Jack: Harry, there's enough C-4 on this thing to put a hole in the world!

Jack: It's a game. If he gets the money he wins, if the bus blows up he wins.
Annie: What if you win?
Jack: Then tomorrow we'll play another one.
Annie: But I'm not available to drive tomorrow. Busy.

Ortiz: Just keep it steady.
Annie: Oh, thanks for the tip, Ortiz.

[After the elevator falls.]
Elevator passenger: Jesus. Bob, what button did you push?

Payne: See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick, and they pick yer friend here up with a sponge! Are you ready to die, friend??
Harry: F*** you!
Payne: Oh! In two hundred years we've gone from "I regret but I have one life to give for my country" to "F*** you!"?

Jack: You're crazy! You're f***in' crazy!
Payne: NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric.

Swat Cop: Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack: Yeah. The basement.

Jack: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry: Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch. Jack: Cool.

Harry: All right, pop quiz. Airport. Gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away. Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.

Payne: Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?

Payne: There will come a time, boy, when you'll wish you never met me.
Jack: Mister, I'm already there.

Harry: I'm going to go home. Have some sex.
Jack: Harry, you're going to go home and puke.
Harry: Yeah, well, that'll be fun too.

Stephens: I'm such a yokel. There. I said it.

Helen: Are they going to help us?
Stephens: Sure they are, they're the police. Hey, your taxes are paying their salaries. We die, they gotta take a pay cut.

[Jack is helped onto the bus after trying to defuse bomb]
Stephens: Did you have any luck with the bomb?
Jack: Yeah, it didn't go off.

Jack: Miss, can you handle this bus?
Annie: Oh sure. It's just like driving a really big Pinto.

Stephens: [Dismayed] We're at the airport.
Ortiz: Yeah, so?
Stephens: I already seen the airport.

Annie: So you're a cop, right?
Jack: That's right.
Annie: Well, I should probably tell you that I'm taking the bus because I had my driver's license revoked.
Jack: What for?
Annie: Speeding.

[After remotely killing a hostage, then promptly hearing about it on the TV news.]
Payne: Interactive TV, Jack! Wave of the future - ha ha ha, huh?

Annie: What is that smell?
Jack: It's gas.
Annie: We're leaking gas?!
Jack: We are now.
Annie: What, you thought you needed another challenge or something?

[After surviving the bus explosion]
Annie: You're not going to get mushy on me, are you?
Jack: Maybe. I might.
Annie: I hope not, 'cause you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last.
Jack: Oh yeah?
Annie: Yeah, I've done extensive study on this.

---

Spies Like Us (1985)

[There is a war cry in the distance.]
Fitzhume: Was that me?

[Ninjas emerge and surround Millbarge and Fitzhume.]
Milbarge: We need a plan.
Fitzhume: Let's play dead.

Milbarge: For once I'm completely in agreement with my partner. I'm not going down there. Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off your house and give your family a permanent orange afro.

Russian interrogater: Why are you here?
Fitzhume: Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell Sartre?
[soldier slaps him]
Fitzhume: Owww... and let that be a lesson to you.

Russian interrogator: Every minute you don't tell us why you are here I cut off a finger.
Fitzhume: Mine or yours?
Russian interrogator: Yours.
Fitzhume: D***!

Fitzhume Oh. Uh, will you hold my wallet for me while I take the test please? There is a thousand dollars in there or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean?
Test Monitor: Are you saying I can take this money if I help you pass the test?
Fitzhume What do you think?

---

Splash (1984)

Freddie: What you looking at? You never seen a guy who slept with a fish before?

---

Stakeout (1987)

[Reading the police profile on Maria]
Bill: And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 300 pounds.
Chris: Three hundred pounds??!?
Bill: I would imagine that's fully clothed.
Chris: Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!

[After watching the svelte Maria undress]
Bill: To protect and to serve.
Chris: Ooo, I love my job, I love it so much!

Stick: Isn't love great, Chris? One minute you're a god, the next minute you're a scum- suckin' pig.

---

Stand and Deliver (1987)

Escalante: Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living!

Claudia: You're worried that we'll screw up big tomorrow, aren't you?
Escalante: Tomorrow's another day. I'm worried you're gonna screw up the rest of your lives.

---

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

Kirk: How are we doing?
McCoy: How are *we* doing? Funny you should put it quite that way, Jim. *We* are doing fine.

Sulu: The word, sir?
Kirk: The word is no. I am therefore going anyway.

Alien: To your planet, welcome.
McCoy: I think that's my line, stranger.
Alien: Oh, forgive. I here am new. But you are known, being McCoy, from Enterprise.
McCoy: You have me at a disadvantage, sir.
Alien: Oh, I name not important. You seek I. Message received. Available ship stands by.
McCoy: How much and how soon?
Alien: How soon is now. How much is, where?
McCoy: Look, price you name, money I got.
Alien: Place *you* name, money *I* name, otherwise bargain, no.
McCoy: Alright, d*** it! It's Genesis! The name of the place we are going is Genesis.
Alien: Genesis?!
McCoy: Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?
Alien: Genesis allowed is not! Is planet forbidden!

Maltz: Impressive. They can make planets.
Kruge: Oh yes. New cities, homes in the country. Your woman at your side, children playing at your feet, and overhead, fluttering in the breeze, the flag of the Federation. Charming.

Kirk: You. Help us or die.
Maltz: I do not deserve to live.
Kirk: Fine, I'll kill you later.

Scotty: The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor.
McCoy: That green-blooded son of a b****! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost.

Kirk: My God, Bones, what have I done?
McCoy: What you had to do; what you always do: turn death into a fighting chance to live.

Kirk: Sorry about your ship, but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie.

---

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

[McCoy trying to discuss what death was like with Spock]
McCoy: C'mon Spock, it's me, McCoy. You really have gone where no man's gone before. Can't you tell me what it felt like?

[Kirk sells his glasses, trying to get some 20th century cash.]
Pawnbroker: Well they'd be worth more if the lenses were intact. I'll give you... one hundred dollars.
Kirk: Is that a lot?

[Explaining Spock's odd behavior.]
Kirk: Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.

[Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly.]
Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell "your" whales.
Gillian: I suppose they told you that.
Spock: The hell they did.

[Faced with a 20th century computer.]
Montgomery Scott: Keyboard! How quaint.

Gillian: Do you guys like Italian?
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: I love Italian, [looks at Spock] and so do you.
Spock: Yes.

[As Kirk is about to sell a pair of glasses to an antique dealer in the 20th century.]
Spock: Weren't those a gift from Dr. McCoy?
Kirk: And they will be again. That's the beauty of it!

Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, "double dumb-ass on you" and so forth. Kirk: Oh, you mean the profanity?
Spock: Yes.
Kirk: Well that's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word.

Kirk: Spock, where the hell's the power you promised?
Spock: One d*** minute, Admiral.

[After landing and cloaking a Klingon spaceship in Golden Gate Park]
Kirk: Everybody remember where we parked.

Kirk: If we play our cards right, we may be able to find out when those whales are being released.
Spock: How will playing cards help?

Gillian: So you're from outer space?
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space.

---

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

"God": You doubt me?
Kirk: I seek proof.
McCoy: Jim, you don't as the Almighty for His I.D.

Kirk: What is this power you have to control the minds of my crew?
Sybok: I don't control minds. I free them.

Spock: Perhaps "because it is there" is not sufficient reason for climbing a mountain.

Kirk: I've always known I'll die alone.

Spock: He reminds me of someone I knew in my youth.
Bones: Why, Spock, I didn't know you had one.

Scotty: I know this ship like the back of my hand. [Walks into a bulkhead.]

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?

---

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)

[On whether to help the Klingons.]
Kirk: They're animals.
Spock: Jim, there is an historic opportunity here.
Kirk: Don't believe them! Don't trust them!
Spock: They're dying.
Kirk: Let them die.

Kirk: Bones, are you afraid of the future?
McCoy: I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey.
Kirk: I don't mean this future.
McCoy: What is this, multiple choice?

Chang: I am constant as the Northern Star...
McCoy: I'd give real money if he'd shut up.

Chang: We need breathing room.
Kirk: Earth, Hitler, 1938.

Spock: Logic, logic, logic. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end.

Spock: What you want is irrelevant, what you have chosen is at hand.

Spock: What we require now is a feat of linguistic legerdemain and a degree of intrepidity.

Gorkon: You don't trust me, do you? I don't blame you. If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it.

Spock: There is the old Vulcan proverb: only Nixon could go to China.

Spock: If I were human I believe my response would be 'go to hell.' ...If I were human.

Spock: Mr. Scott, I understand you are experiencing difficulties with the warp engines?
Scott: There's nothing wrong with the bloody -
Spock: -Mr. Scott, if the Enterprise responds to hails and returns to Starbase, there is a good chance that we will never see Captain Kirk or Doctor McCoy alive again.
Scott: Could take weeks, sir...

Chang: I can see you Kirk. Can you see me?
Kirk: Chang!
Chang: Oh, now be honest, Captain. Warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be. No peace in our time. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."

---

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

[Before blasting some Borg.]
Worf: Assimilate this!

[Troi is drunk]
Troi: Timeline? This is no time to talk about time. We don't have the time! ...What was I saying?

[Troi is drunk]
Troi: I'm just trying to blend in! Riker: You're blended all right.

Riker: Tough little ship.
Worf: Little?

Lily: Borg? Sounds Swedish.

[After having seen the Borg]
Lily: Definitely not Swedish.

Picard: Reports of my assimilation have been greatly exaggerated.

Lily: It's my first ray gun.

Riker: Someone once said "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgement."
Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense. Who said that?
Riker: You did, ten years from now.

[Data is feeling anxiety as they approach the Borg.]
Picard: I suggest you deactivate your emotion chip for now.
Data: [click] Done.
Picard: Data, there are times when I envy you.

Picard: We are not going to lose the Enterprise. Not to the Borg. Not while I'm in command.

Picard: Mr. Worf, do you remember your zero g combat training?
Worf: I remember how it made me sick to my stomach.

Borg Queen: Do you always talk this much?
Data: Not always. But often.

Data: I think I speak on behalf of the entire crew when I say "To hell with our orders."

Cochrane: You're all astronauts, on some kind of star trek.

[Troi is drunk]
Troi: He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. Then he made me drink three shots of something called "tequila" before he would tell me who he was.

The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a doorstop.

Picard: They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn HERE. This far NO farther. And I will make them pay for what they've done.

Crusher: So much for the Enterprise-E.
Picard: We barely knew her.
Crusher: Do you think they'll make another one?
Picard: Plenty of letters left in the alphabet.

Data: And for a time, I was tempted by her offer.
Picard: How long a time?
Data: 0.68 seconds sir. For an android, that is nearly an eternity.

Riker: Mr. Worf, you do remember how to fire phasers?

Borg Queen: I am the beginning and the end. I bring order into chaos.

Borg Queen: Watch your future's end.

[To Data]
Borg Queen: You are an imperfect being, created by an imperfect being.

Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
Data: If... you're referring to sexuality, I'm fully functional. Programmed in multiple techniques.
Borg Queen: How long has it been since you've used them?
Data: 8 years, 7 months, 16 days, 4 minutes 22...
[moving in to kiss him]
Borg Queen: Far too long.

Picard: You want to destroy the ship and run away, you coward.
Worf: If you were any other man, I would kill you where you stand.

Lily: You broke your little ships.

[Picard and Lily are looking at earth from space]
Picard: You may want to hold your breath. It's a long way down.

Vulcan: Live long and prosper.
Cochrane: Thanks.

---

Star Trek: Generations (1994)

[Kirk is invited to give a command to the new Enterprise-B.]
Kirk: Take us out.
Chekov: Very good, sir.
Scotty: Brought a tear to my eye.
Kirk: Oh, be quiet.

Scotty: Finding retirement a little lonely, are we?
Kirk: You know, I'm glad you're an engineer. With tact like that, you'd make a lousy psychiatrist.

[Wiping blood off her mouth after Soran strikes her.]
B'Etor: I hope, for your sake, that you were initiating a mating ritual.

Soran: [To Geordi] Normal is what everyone else is and you are not.

Kirk: I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim.
Picard: You could say that.
Kirk: Sounds like fun!

Kirk: Did we make a difference?
Picard: Oh, yes. We made a difference.

Harriman: I read about your exploits when I was in grade school.
Kirk: Oh really?

Kirk: You left port without a tractor beam?
Harriman: It doesn't arrive until Tuesday.

Harriman: The medical staff... doesn't arrive until Tuesday.

[Data, enthusiastic about his new emotion chip, is told to scan for life forms.]
Data: I'd be happy to, sir. I just *love* scanning for life forms! [sings] Life forms! You tiny little life forms! You precious little life forms! Where are you?

[Data finds a drink unpleasant - for the first time ever.]
Data: I hate this! It is revolting!
Guinan: More?
Data: Please!

[The Duras sisters spy on Geordi.]
Lursa: Where is he now?
B'Etor: Who knows? He bathed, and now he's roaming the ship.
Lursa: He must be the only engineer in Starfleet that doesn't GO TO ENGINEERING!

Data: I get it! "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to leave!" I get it!
Geordi: Data, what do you get?
Data: The Farpoint mission! You told a joke; that was the punchline!
Geordi: The Farpoint mission? Data, that was seven years ago.
Data: I know! I finally get it! Very funny!

Soran: They say time is a fire in which we burn; right now I'm running out of time.

Soran: Now if you'll excuse me, Captain. I have an appointment with eternity and I don't want to be late.

Kirk: I don't need to be lectured by you. I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers. Besides which I think the galaxy owes me one.

Geordi: I've never seen a solar probe with this kind of configuration, have you Data?
Data: No, Geordi, I have not. [to his tricorder] Have you? [uses tricorder as a hand puppet] "No, I have not. It is most unusual." Mister Tricorder!

Kirk: Who am I to question the captain of the Enterprise?

Picard: Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all Number One, we're only mortal.
Riker: Speak for yourself sir, I plan to live forever.

---

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

Troi: On this ship, anything's possible.

Picard: If a court-martial is the only way to tell the Federation what is happening here, Admiral... I welcome it.

[Referring to his clean-shaven face.]
Riker: Smooth as an android's bottom.

Ru'afo: I will miss these flesh-stretching sessions, my dear.

[After bobbing to the surface of the lake.]
Data: In the event of a water landing, I have been designed to act as a flotation device.

[Buttoning Picard's collar.]
Crusher: You either need a bigger suit or a smaller neck.

Geordi: I've never seen a sunrise. Not the way you see it.

[To Troi]
Riker: I kiss you and you say "yuck"?

Worf: The Son'a wish to negotiate a cease-fire. It may have something to do with their ship having only three minutes of air left.

Dougherty: Jean-Luc, we're only moving 600 people.
Picard: How many people does it take, Admiral, before it becomes wrong? Hmm? A thousand, fifty thousand, a million? How many people does it take, Admiral?

---

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

Kirk: Evaluation, Mr. Spock.
Spock: Fascinating.

Spock: It's life, Captain, but not life as we know it.

[Kirk apologizes for assuming command from Captain Decker.]
Kirk: I'm sorry, Will.
Decker: No, Admiral. I don't think you're sorry. Not one d***ed bit. I remember when you recommended me for this command. You told me how envious you were and how much you hoped you would get a starship command again. Well sir, it looks like you found a way.

[A transporter accident has just occurred.]
Transporter chief: Enterprise, what we got back didn't live very long... fortunately.

Kirk: Bones, there's a thing out there...
McCoy: A thing? Why is something we don't understand always called a thing?

Kirk: Well, for a man who swore he'd never return to the Starfleet...
McCoy: Just a moment, Captain sir! Your revered Admiral Nogura invoked a little-known, seldom- used "reserve activation clause." In simpler language, Captain, they DRAFTED me!
Kirk (in mock horror): They didn't!
McCoy: This was your idea! This was your idea, wasn't it?!
Kirk: Bones, there's a thing out there.
McCoy: Why is any object we don't understand always called "a thing"?

McCoy: Well Jim... I hear Chapel's an M.D. now. Well I'm gonna need a top nurse... not a doctor who'll argue every little diagnosis with me. And they probably redesigned the whole sickbay, too! I know engineers, they LOVE to change things.

Kirk; Well, Bones. Do the new medical facilities meet with your approval?
McCoy: They do not. It's like working in a d*** computer center.

[Comments on the immense size of V'ger.]
Uhura: It could hold a crew of... tens of thousands.
McCoy: Or a crew of a thousand ten miles tall.

[After Spock comments that, mentally, V'ger is a child.]
McCoy: Spock, this "child" is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth! Now what do you suggest we do? Spank it?
Spock: Each of us, at some time in our lives, turns to someone - a father, a brother, a God - and asks, "Why am I here? What was I meant to be?"

DeFalco: Heading sir?
Kirk: Out there... thataway.

---

Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

[Kirk and McCoy are beaming down to Regula One.]
Spock: Jim, be careful.
McCoy: *We* will.

[Kirk remotely commands Reliant's shields to drop.]
Joachim: Our shields are lowering!
Khan: Raise them!
Joachim: [pounds fists on console] I can't!
Khan: The override! Where's the override?

Spock: He is intelligent, but not experienced. His pattern indicates 2 dimensional thinking.

Kirk: Scotty, I need warp speed in three minutes or we're all dead!

David: Scientists have *always* been pawns of the military!

McCoy: D*** it, Jim, what the h*** is the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?

Spock: Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Kirk: Or the one.

[Terrell disobeys Khan's order to kill Kirk, who taunts Khan over the communicator.]
Kirk: Khan, you bloodsucker! You're gonna have to do your own dirty work now, do you hear me? Do you?
Khan: Kirk! You're still alive, old friend!
Kirk: Still, "old friend!" You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.
Khan: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Admiral. [beams the Genesis device away]
Kirk: Khan... Khan, you've got Genesis, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Khan. You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to come down here.
Khan: I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.
Kirk: KHAAANNNN! KHAAANNNN!

[Taunting Khan]
Kirk: Khan, I'm laughing at the superior intellect.

Kirk: I don't like to lose.

Saavik: He's never what I expect, sir.
Spock: What surprises you, Lieutenant?
Saavik: He's so - human.
Spock: Nobody's perfect, Saavik.

McCoy: Where are we going?
Kirk: Where they went.
McCoy: Suppose they went nowhere?
Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.

Khan: These people have sworn to live and die at my command 200 years before you were born.

[Khan, about to put Ceti Eels in Terrell and Chekov's ears.]
Khan: You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as they grow follows madness and death.
Chekov: Khan, listen to me -
Khan: These are pets, of course. Not quite domesticated.

Kirk: I would not presume to debate you.
Spock: That is wise.

Saavik: You lied.
Spock: I exaggerated.

Khan: Ah, Kirk, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.

[When Khan realizes the Enterprise isn't as badly damaged as he thought.]
Khan: Ah. Not so wounded as we were led to believe. So much the better.

Khan: To the last, I will grapple with thee.

Khan: From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

Kirk: We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human.

Kirk: I suppose you're about to remind me that logic alone dictates your actions?
Spock: I would not remind you of that which you know so well.

Khan: I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!

McCoy: Logic? My God! The man's talking about logic! We're talking about universal armageddon!

Kirk: I don't believe in a no-win scenario.

Kirk: Stand by to receive our transmission. [sotto voce] Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target.

Saavik: Humor. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical.
Kirk: We learn by doing.

---

Star Wars (1977)

[A large-eyed creature gives Luke a rough shove.]
Human: He doesn't like you.
Luke: I'm sorry.
Human: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Luke: I'll be careful.
Human: You'll be dead!

Obi-Wan: That's no moon. It's a space station.

Luke: Listen, I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire; I hate it! But there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's all such a long way from here.
Obi-Wan: That's your uncle talking.

Obi-Wan: The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

Han: Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em. [Nobody is listening.] Don't everyone thank me at once.

Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Tarkin: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.
Commander: But that's impossible. How will the emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?
Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

Luke: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.

C-3PO: We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.

Leia: Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Obi-Wan: For more than a thousand generations the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.

Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.

Obi-Wan: Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

Obi-Wan: The Force can have a strong influence on a weak mind.

Han: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're lookin' for passage to the Alderaan system?
Obi-Wan: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship.
Han: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Luke: What a piece of junk!
Han: She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself.

Han: Watch your mouth, kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home!

Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

C-3PO: Listen to them, they're dying, R2! Curse my metal body! I wasn't fast enough! It's all my fault! My poor master!

[Referring to Obi-Wan]
Tarkin: If you're right, he must not be allowed to escape. Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him. Alone.

[Two stormtroopers are posted near the tractor beam power terminal.]
Stormtrooper: Do you know what's going on?
Other stormtrooper: Maybe it's another drill.

Vader: I sense something. A presence I've not felt since...

Obi-wan: You must learn the ways of the Force if you are to come with me to Alderaan.

C-3PO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!

C-3PO: We're doomed!

Han: Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.

Han: D*** fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?

Han: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy.

Leia: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Han: Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!

Han: This is not going to work.
Luke: Why didn't you say so before?
Han: I did say so before!

[Leia gets her first look at the Millennium Falcon.]
Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!

[Luke blows up his first TIE fighter.]
Luke: Got 'im! I got 'im!
Han: Great, kid! Don't get cocky!

Leia: If money is all you love, then that's what you'll receive.

[After a successful rescue of Leia.]
Luke: So, what do you think of her, Han?
Han: I'm tryin' not to, kid.
Luke: [sotto voce] Good.
Han: [baiting him] Still, she's gotta lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me -
Luke: [quickly] -No.

Vader: The Force is strong with this one.

Vader: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans. And bring me the passengers, I want them alive!

Leia: Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold.

[R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game aboard the Millennium Falcon.]
Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh.
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookie.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookies are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookie win.

Vader: When I left you, I was but the learner. Now *I* am the master.

Han: Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
Leia: That doesn't sound too hard.

Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.
Obi-Wan: You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

Obi-Wan: The Force will be with you, always.

Luke: I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

Officer: We've analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by?
Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

Obi-Wan: Use the Force, Luke!

---

Starship Troopers (1997)

Rasczak: Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has. Use that freedom.

Rico: I'm from Buenos Aires, and I say kill 'em all!

Dizzy: My mother always told me that violence doesn't solve anything.
Rasczak: Really. I wonder what the city founders of Hiroshima would have to say about that. You.
Carmen: They wouldn't say anything. Hiroshima was destroyed.
Rasczek: Correct. Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is mearly wishful thinking at its worst!

Rasczak: You once asked me for advice. You want some now? Never give up a good thing.

Ace: Shoot a nuke down a bug hole, you got alotta dead bugs.

Newsreel announcer: Join the Mobile Infantry and save the Galaxy. Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

Rico: Someone asked me once if I knew the difference between a civilian and a citizen. I know now. A citizen has the courage to make the safety of the human race their personal responsibility! Dizzy was my friend. She was a soldier. But most important, she was a citizen of the Federation!

Diennes: We must meet this threat with our courage, our valor, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy NOW AND ALWAYS!

Carl: We thought there might be a Brain Bug on P.
Carmen: You knew and still you sent them?
Carl: We couldn't afford to launch an operation if there wasn't one. You disapprove? Well, too bad! We're in this for the species, boys and girls. It's simple numbers. They have more. And every day I have to make decisions that send hundreds of people like you to their deaths. Rico: Didn't they tell you, Colonel? That's what the Mobile Infantry is good for.

Rico: You're some sort of big, fat, smart-bug, aren't you?

Rasczak: You see a bug hole, YOU NUKE IT!

Rasczak: Everyone fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself.

Dizzy: Rico, I'm gonna die.
Rico: No, you're not gonna die!
Dizzy: It's OK, because I got to have you.

Zander: One day someone like me is gonna kill you and your whole F***IN' RACE!

Rico: M.I. does the dying; Fleet just does the flying.

[After Rico gets a Dear John from Carmen.]
Ace: Ain't it great how they want to be your friend right after they rip your guts out?

Rasczak: Come on you apes! You want to live forever?

Newsreel announcer: Young people all over the globe are joining up to save the future.

Newsreel announcer: Everyone is doing their part. Are you?

[Carl psychically probes the captured alien.]
Carl: It's afraid. It's afraid!
[Everyone cheers.]

---

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Barry Fife: There are no new steps!

Fran: A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Kylie: A bit of musicality, please!

---

The Sure Thing (1985)

Alison: You'll never beleive what I wanted to be when I was six.
Gib: A classics professor?

Lady in car: What are you gonna name it?
Alison: What?
Lady in car: The baby.
Alison: Well, if it's a girl, Cynthia, and if it's a boy, Elliot.
Lady in car: Those are lovely names.
Gib: Elliot? You're gonna name the kid Elliot? No, you can't name the kid Elliot. Elliot is a fat kid with glasses who eats paste. You're not gonna name the kid Elliot. You gotta give him a real name. Give him a name! Like Nick.
Alison: Nick?
Gib: Yeah, Nick! Nick's the kinda guy you can trust. Nick's your buddy. Nick's the kinda guy you drink beers with. The kinda guy that doesn't care if you puke in his car. Nick!

Gib: You know, junk food doesn't deserve the bad rap that it gets. Take these cheese puffs for example. This particular brand contains two percent of the R.D.A. (that's Recommended Daily Allowance) of riboflavin.

Trucker: I hope you appreciate the magnitude of your impending good fortune.

Gib: I flunk English, I'm outta here. I gotta get a job, and you know what that means. That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job. But the day I'm supposed to start some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico. When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down in the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner and why? Because you wouldn't help me in English!

Cowboy Guy: I was in Paris once with my wife... boy am I glad she's dead.

Gib: What the hell's wrong with being stupid once in awhile? Does everything you do always have to be sensible? Haven't you ever thrown waterballoons off a roof? When you were a little kid didn't you ever sprinkle soap flakes on the living room floor 'cause you wanted to make it snow in July? Didn't you ever get really s***faced and maybe make a complete fool of yourself and still have an excellent time?

Gib: Sorry I'm late. There was this big problem... and I'm late because of it.

Alison: What are you doing?
Gib: I'm going to bed.
Alison: Not with me you're not.
Gib: I'm not going to bed with you, I'm going to bed in a bed you happen to be in also.

Alison: He eats cheese balls and beer for breakfast!
Jason: How do you know what he eats for breakfast!?

Alison: Spontaneity has its time and place.

Alison: Eight o'clock?
Gib: Mmm... sorry, that's when I rearrange my sock drawer.

Gib: You know, I've never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet someone new I feel awkward and shy. But with you it's different. I can talk to you. You know what I'm thinking without my having to explain to you in fancy terms. We speak each other's unspoken language... fluently. I love you.