August 10, 1999

Do you like what's happened here? I do. It took me the absolute longest time to get everything right and get all my organization down, but I think I've finally worked everything out. Maybe. Hey- tell me if you find anything.

Here's an email I wrote recently:

SpkySpain-

i can't believe it's august. i still have to finish the autobiography of malcolm x, and i have to find the making of the president, 1960. it's out of print, and i have a feeling mr. j. could've said something when i told him i wanted to read it, ya know? malcolm x is moving very slowly, so i can see me in two weeks busting my butt to finish the president one. what books are you reading for history? english?

why am i sending this? well, it's august, and i said eventually would only last us until august. that, and adam is simply not a good conversationalist.

remember my mouse, the one you terrorized that one and only time you were in my house? well, it's dead. how horrible am I?

wait... there's more to that story, nothing to do with the mouse.

jacqui and i realize that we're feeling very star wars empty. we need to see it. val's seen it 4 times, matt's seen it 7. i had only seen it 3, jacqui had seen it 6. we both felt the need to beat val and matt, respectively. so we went to both the 7:05 and 10:00 showings of tpm in one day. *note: this is simply the best way to see star wars movies; you catch a lot of stuff, and the second time jar-jar binks was actually funny (of course, that could have just been us)* anyway, we get out around 12:15-ish, and suddenly the jacqui's car's battery had died. ah! to make a medium-sized story short, i got home at 1:40 am, get to bed after 2. i had work at 8! wake up at 6:45 exhausted, glance at my mouse's cage, tap it, shake it, lean over and look into the rodent's shrunken eyes, and realize it's dead. argh!

the good thing: i have seen star wars five times.

after much requesting and questioning, adam has given up to my persuasion and says 'hi"

oh, 'nother story that i feel the need to share: today, i answer the phone. this happy, familiar-sounding female says "hi!" i can almost place her, i swear, so i say, warmly, "hello!" she asks how i am, i say 'good' then she gets unsure, and asks if she has the right number. she's looking for tom. i don't know a tom. so we tell each other how much the other sounds like someone we know, wish each other great days, and hang up. it was the greatest thing that happened to me today, although now my dad is questioning my capability to interact with people safely, i think.

you said you haven't gotten anything from me in the longest time. what about all those forwards erin and i sent you this month? all together, it was a lot that should have made you kind of annoyed.

since you claim to not have gotten it, this is how you get your star wars jedi name: first name: the first three letters of your name, plus the first two letters of your last name second name: the first two letters of your mom's maiden name, plus the first three letters of the place where you were born

mine's rosgl mceva. nice to write and look at, but what a pain to say

oh, guess what?! they told me at my job interview that cashiers start at $6.25 an hour, right? so i assume that's what i'm making. but when i get my second check i get curious about the taxes and such, so while i'm looking over the stub with my parents, i realize that it says i'm getting $6.65. now, if that didn't make you really resentful and angry at me, i'm sure you can see how awesome that's got to be.

i have my permit, but i refuse to drive, so none of those jokes about keeping off the roads.

Erin forgot my birthday. this isn't to say that your mind lapse two years ago is now completely forgotten, justified, and forgiven, just to let you know that you're not alone, and i'm wondering what kind of friends i have (c: )

-rose

That was just because I didn't feel like re-telling those stories, which all happened a while ago.

Happy Sweet Sixteenth to Erin! (I suppose I can forgive her for her above mishap)

One thing that I admire/ hate about myself is what happened to me yesterday at work. I was sitting there, innocently banding money, when all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach. Kinda dizzy, kinda nauseous, kinda weak, kinda shaky, and definitely not all there health-wise. Anyone else would have clutched there stomach/ forehead, muttered something about feeling horrible, and, if possible, gone home. They would have at least stopped for a minute. I, in my infinite wisdom, found my position "interesting" (I quote that from my thoughts at the time), and possible slowed down a touch. Got up (felt like fainting), rearranged all the money in front of me, walked (in a straight line, surprisingly) across the office and got another whole bin of it to start banding again. Said nothing. I think I smiled and laughed a few times. I suppose I can kind of admire my determination there, but I also have to recognize the fact that it probably had something to do with pride and I'm an idiot.

I love men in green tights. I've come to this realization after I connected my childhoord fetishes. Robin Hood. Peter Pan. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Given, the turtles aren't wearing tights, but they have the same shapely green limbs, which I think is my thing. But remember- their personalities all have that same "i'm the greatest, the kindest, and the sweetest, but i can still kick some bad-guy ass" aspect that has been known to make me melt. So maybe it's not that sick. The green tights are a definite plus, though.

Blair Witch dilemma: everyone that wanted to see it that I know has already seen it. How am I going to see it?

Nine days until Lilith Fair. I am so happy, I'm not even going to bother trying to express it to you with odd annoying punctuation marks and odd, frivolous words. Period.

Today is Lazy Day (i didn't celebrate). Tomorrow is Presidential Joke Day. Thursday, the 12th, is Middle Child's Day (my day, and everyone else who is un/fortunate enough to be born in between siblings). Friday, though, is Blame Someone Else Day (for, me, it's actually called "Blame Erin Day"). And unfortunately, we missed National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbour's Porch Night (the 8th), and National Polka Festival (the 9th). I know, I'm disappointed too.

After two years of trying, I finally was served Bakers Square country apple pie. I don't know if it was worth two years, but it was definitely worth $1.70.

In approximately two weeks, my friends will leave for their respective colleges and I will return to high school. At graduation I didn't cry because I remembered that I had two months. Now, I won't cry because I'll remember my two weeks. But damn, the flood will come, I'm sure. I know I'm not losing anyone, I guess, it's just pretty sucky that the science hall will be so empty next year, and certain places will hold memories rather than possibilities for a while.

From Natalie Merchant's Ophelia, "Thank You": Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave, the love and tenderness. I want to thank you. I want to thank you for your generosity, the love and the honesty that you gave me. I want to thank you, show my gratitude, my love, and my respect for you. I want to thank you."