September 5, 1999

It's been weird.

Hours upon hours of homework. I'm still trying to decide if that's because I procrastinate with such tedious novelties as afternoon snacks, dinner, showers, and sleep, or if my teachers really do have vendettas against me. But no, I shouldn't take it so personally. They just don't like students in general. Not that I'm bitter- I adore some teachers and completely understand the concept of homework. I just wish I wasn't the victim of it every day.

I talk to Tony in math. Here's a story: I always refer to my friends that don't know him that he doesn't like as my only friends (just to group them together and make stories about them sound more dramatic, like "all my friends are going away to college!"). When I did this before, he'd say something like 'ouch, that hurts' or 'thanks' meaning: What the hell! Am I not one of your friends now?!? And then we'd do this cute little thing where I'd reassure him that, yes, he was my friend, etc. SO, to bring you all to the present-day- we reassert the fact that, yes, all my friends that I hang out with are in college. He says "that hurts," but this time he means it like: "Sorry, dude. Sucks to be you." Which is different than before. I can take the change in a stride, I think, 'cause I know I've pulled mean, unjustified things on him (where this would be, in my mind, at least honest and justified, if shocking). It's just that this little eensy part of me didn't expect it. I didn't think we'd be anything like before, or even close to a 'we' for that matter, but I didn't think we'd be so far gone, you know? Not that I expected anything else, though. I don't know what I expected. I'm just.... shocked. Taken aback. Humbled. Forehead- crinkling confused. Mostly though, at a loss for how to treat the situation. It's a thing that makes me go "Ummmmm...."

I'm reading over that last paragraph, and like you I'm saying- "geez! one thing and you come to that conclusion?" So, for your reading pleasure, and my venting needs, other quotes. "Your friendship means nothing to me anyway" "I don't like you" x approximately 5 or 6 times.

The above uncharacteristically open paragraph and blockquote is just something that's been on my mind that I don't really feel like bugging people I know with. If I were them, I'd probably be damning the boy's very existence by now. I think I'm done, though. Yeah, I feel like I've ranted my last ranted and dwelled over my last thought. Empty, at peace. Ah.

You know what? the blockquote code is the only code that I use all caps for. Everything else is little, and then this big distinction. I noticed that above, and you can too if you check out my source code.

I told a teacher to shut up, freaked out, apologized, and finally regained my title of "sweet." It only took two years.

Ou! Erin got a part! She's Peggy in the Father of the Bride (the fall play our school is doing). GO ERIN!!! She's the best, the babe, the coolest, the most wonderful- yay for her, in case I'm being unclear.

At the first home football game Friday night, the band went over the time allotted for the half-time show. They delayed the game. (causing the team a 15 yd. penalty, but oh- friggin-well) I thought it was cool because it's the closest I've ever seen a band come to, as American Pie says, "refuse to yield." I dream of the day when that actually happens. It would be wondrous, and I would cry out of happiness.

Today my cousin turned to me and said "So, what do the people in school say about you having Star Wars folders like a little boy?" Inside, I was gaping.

You know that commercial where the family gives away their TV, microwave, and computer to their son who is just about to leave for college, and then when he pulls away they open the garage to reveal a whole bunch of new, better stuff? My question is, do they hate their son so much that they'll fool him so needlessly?

I'm working on Labor Day. Is that how you're supposed to celebrate, traditionally?

I'm really in this typing mood right now. Like the words are flowing and my fingers know exactly which keys to push to make them come up on the screen just right. Barely any typos tonight, is what I'm trying to say.

My eyes are burning more frequently when I sit at my computer now. Maybe I should get those eye drops. Others would say stop using the computer so much, but that didn't even enter my mind until after the wonderfully logical concept of just closing my eyes for the majority of my time in front of the screen. You know what I really really want?

Glasses. Ever since I was a kid, when I came up with lying about my eyesight to be able to sit in the front of the class. Now my parents are seriously considering it, since I am kind of getting worse (finally!) and they don't want a blind daughter driving their car. I don't know, but when I think of glasses I think of getting the right to hide behind something, or to see the world through a new pair of eyes. Either way is very appealing to me right now- the first one is mysterious, the second exciting. And For Eyes has a special two for $99 deal going on now. How convenient.

In case you are at a loss for fun, quirky things to do this week, here are some suggestions:
September 6 is ... Fight Procrastination Day
September 7 is ... Neither Rain Nor Snow Day
September 8 is ... National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day
September 9 is ... Teddy Bear Day
September 10 is ... Swap Ideas Day

I don't know why, but my CD player has kind of stopped working. The only thing it will play for me now is that Carol King CD I stole from my mother a while back. Serves me right, I guess. So tonight I'm going to get a spoken quote to leave you with (if this upsets you, put it to music). That coolsigs place just started a battle of the sexes category, and these are some of my favorites: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem"... "First, God created man. Then he had a better idea."... "There are easier things in life than finding a good man... like nailing jello to a tree, for instance."... "Some say a computer is a woman, if you do something wrong, they'll remember every bit of it. Some say a computer is a man, if you had just waited one more week, you could have gotten a better model for less." I don't know if they're offensive or not- they make me smirk and giggle quietly.