shevette's book!
Book #2 of three
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shevette's book!Book #2 of three
CHAPTER 3 |
The next day I saw Mary Murphy at school. She was trying to hang with the rest of us girls. I got her to one side, to avoid witnesses, and I told her as nicely as I could that the reason we didn't want her around was because she was a clone baby and we considered her to be without a soul. I mean I was nice about it and I even told her that I felt bad that she wasn't a real person.
She cried.
The more I tried to console her, the more I tried to find something good to tell her the worse I made it. It even made me feel bad. I hadn't wanted to hurt her. Why couldn't I find the right words? That had been the problem my folks had had the night before when they had tried to talk to me. I guessed they had been trying to tell me what to say to Mary without hurting her.
I knew I was going to get it when I got home. Mary would tell her mom and her mom would tell my parents. Gosh! I had tried to do the right thing! I was torn. On one hand I wanted to push Mary away from me and never talk to another clone baby as long as I lived. On the other hand I wanted to make her my friend so that she wouldn't cry anymore. It was tearing my heart out to see her in such misery. I think what finally made up my mind for me was the thought of what my friends would say if I started letting a known clone baby hang with me. They would shun me. I would be treated like a clone baby, or worse, myself.
I pushed Mary away from me. I remember that I did make one more stab at making her feel better. I said, "Why are you crying? I know you are hurting so why don't you just think of something else. Think of only the things that make you happy. If you were real, like me, then it would make sense for you to care about things, but you are like a piece of steel. Nothing can really hurt you. That's one good thing about not being real. I imagine you feel like you're real, but that's not right. You should know that by now. Why do you want to try to be like real people? You shouldn't. Take what time you have been given and enjoy it however you can."
"You're right." she told me suddenly determined, "I am like a piece of steel. I have no true feelings. I will do as you said. I will do the things that make me feel good. Thank you."
I felt better. I thought I had gotten through to her after all. I hadn't. Mary decided what she enjoyed doing the most was making life miserable for the rest of us. She stole from us, lied about us, beat us everyway that she could and generally laughed in our faces.
It was pathetic. She was always trying to be better than us when we all knew she would never be as good. The last I heard of her she ran off and joined some gang.
The gangs were scary. They were law breakers. They were into drugs, prostitution, and all sorts of illegle activities. People were being hurt by them all of the time. I kept clear of any of that. I didn't want to ruin my life. I was scared of gangmembers. They dressed wierd and acted like all they wanted to do was hurt someone. It was stupid.
***
Life went on. I was finally dating guys and doing well in school. Things were going great for me, well good. I was happy with my life. That's pretty dangerous in itself, y'know what I mean? Every time you are ridding high then the only way is down. Something was about to happen that would change my life forever.
I was just seventeen when it happened. I had a wonderful birthday and the folks had gone all out and gotten me a car. I was so proud of that thing. It was bright bright red. I told everyone that it's color matched my eyes. They'd let that sink in for a minute then realize I had said that I had red eyes and then they'd laugh. It was cute (the car.)
The trouble started when I was taken downtown to get my driver's permit. It was held until I could take and pass the driver's test. I had to supply a recent doctor's certificate stating that I was in good health, didn't do drugs, and wasn't mentally deranged. I also had to be bonded for the fiscal responsibilities. Paperwork, it made me nervous just filling out the forms. My folks made me do it on my own. "It would be good" for me.
I just knew I was going to fill out something wrong. It took about a week to get everything together. About half of the paperwork came from school where I had been in classes in anticipation of getting my permit so I could drive the family car. Getting my own car had been a real surprise. I mean some of the other kids had gotten cars, but I just never thought that I would. I hadn't dared to hope. I was riding high...
The night before I was to go back downtown to get my permit I was in my room organizing all of my paperwork. I had gone down the checklist of what I was supposed to have so many times that I had nearly worn it out. I wanted everything to be perfect. Those papers were like gold to me. I wanted to hug them all. Carefully I read them to be sure they had my name spelled right and everything.
They were all perfect--until I got to my physical. It was such a tiny thing and it was so stupid. They had my birthdate down wrong. According to it I was over a thousand years old! I would have laughed but it worried me that I would have to want until this snafu was straightened up. I went downstairs and confronted my father.
"Dad, you got a minute?"
"Sure peaches, what do you need?"
"I'm worried. This paper for my physical has the wrong date for my birthday on it." I whinned as I held it out for him to see.
Dad looked at it puzzled for a moment then I saw him become aware of what the problem was then he became reticent for some strange reason. He looked over at me. I saw pain in his eyes. I thought it was because he had wanted me to be able to get my permit the next day and he knew how disappointed I would be if I couldn't. He started to speak but couldn't find the words. I was getting worried when he sat down in his favorite chair. It was like he was suddenly very tired.
"Are you alright, dad?"
He sunk back into the chair and looked at the far wall for a moment then he told me he was alright and to get mom.
When mom saw dad she became as worried as I was. "What's the matter, Ed?"
He handed her the paper and pointed to the line with my birth date. I had thought something drastic had happened. He was just upset over the fact that my paperwork was not correct. It would mean a little bit of trouble but it wouldn't be as bad as he was making it out to be. Mom was suddenly crying.
"Hey, you guys..." I told them, "don't get so upset I'll get this fixed first thing in the morning and have plenty of time to get my permit. No sweat!"
Mom grabbed me and held me to her tightly. I was growing up. I began to cry happily. Soon I would be out on my own. I didn't know how soon and how alone. It would be soon enough and very alone.
"Honey we have something to tell you." dad told me.
"No!" mom sobbed, "don't you tell her!"
"It's time we did."
"No, I can't stand it! If you tell her I'll leave the room!" mom threatened. Her grip on me got tighter.
"Sue I have something to tell you..." dad began.
"No, no, no, no..." mom cried.
I was getting scared. What had mom so upset? I gripped her tighter.
"Sue you are adopted..." dad finished weakly.
My heart skipped a beat. Me? Adopted? How could that be? I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I couldn't believe it. I waited for the other shoe to drop. It didn't. I began breathing again. Mom was trembeling.
"Mom....mom...mom, it's alright. It's ok. I still love you."
"We're sorry..." mom began.
"Don't be. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the two of you. You're the guys that brought me up. I think it shows how good the two of you are to bring me up and I'm not even your real child. You have always shown me love. I have no regrets."
"We do love you, Sue Ann. We wanted to tell you that you were adopted a long time ago but we never could find the right time or the right way to tell you. I hope you're not too shocked." dad explained.
"I am shocked." I told him. "It is a hard pill to swallow. The biggest thing that I feel right now is pride. I am so proud of the two of you for adopting someone--and I am so proud to be your adopted daughter."
"We're proud of you too, Sue Ann." mom pronounced.
"Is Shela adopted too?" I asked. Suddenly there were so many questions in my head. I had a whole lifetime of them it felt like.
"No she's ours." dad clarified for me.
"Why did you adopt me if you could have children of your own?" The words 'your own' had a new meaning to them. I felt a little more 'out' then I had before. In some ways I was a stranger. The people that I had called mom and dad felt like the nice people next door who had watched out for me while my real mom and dad were at the movies or something. I put that from my mind. These people had cared for me. They had made me a part of thier lives. I was a product of them.
"We tried to have a child for years after we got married, peaches." dad answered me. "Finally the state contacted us and wanted to know what the problem was. We explained that we were trying but it just hadn't 'took' yet. They suggested we adopt. We jumped at the oportunity."
"Then I'm over a thousand years old?"
"Yes, I guess you could say that. I'd never thought of it before but you must be older than dirt." dad joked.
"Thanks! That was way back when the spaceship first got here, wasn't it?"
"Yes..."
"Am I an origional? Did I come from earth?"
"No. You were born here."
"What happened to my real mom and dad? Did they just abondom me? Hey, I must have been part of the baby glut when the colonies were first started. Wow, this is wierd. I'm over a thousand years old. That's strange. How old was I? I was just a baby, wasn't I? I mean when you got me."
"Whoa!" dad laughed. "I have a book that your mother wrote. I'll load it onto your computer and you can read it."
"A whole book! Wow! What happened to her?"
"Wait a minute, Ed!" mom spoke up. "She's not ready for the book! She gets that when she is twenty--not before!"
"She's got to know, honey. I think it's time she got the book." dad argued for me.
"No! There are certain things in there that Sue isn't ready for!"
"Aw mom...I can handle it. I'm a woman, nearly. Let me see it, pleeese!"
"No! The subject is closed. You get the book when you're twenty and not before!"
I begged, wheedled, and caljoled. It did no good. Mom had made up her mind.
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