shevette's book!
Book #2 of three
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shevette's book!Book #2 of three
CHAPTER 6 |
That night in bed I made a list of all of the things I wasn't going to do and all the things I couldn't do and all the things I must do.
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WILL NOT DO:
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no more home work
no more school
no more spending time indoors when I
could be out enjoying myself
no more holding back
"DO IT--NOW!"
"BECAUSE YOU DON"T GET A LATER!"
CAN NOT DO:
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can't live at home
can't take anything with me
can't be around real people at all
MUST DO:
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join a gang
figure out some way to support myself
--a work-free way
...not that I was afraid of work or lazy...if I was working all of the time I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself (all the time!) and that was a definite must do!
live life to the fullest
...when it was all over I didn't want to have regrets instead of memories
***
It was logical. I would join a gang and live my life hidden from my folks so that I would not embarrass them when I started doing all of the things that I shouldn't do, all of the things that were fun. The hell with working for someone else just barely getting along and never having any time for myself. It would be better to do without than to work my life away. My life was too precious. It was all that I had. To waste it on some meaningless, thankless job for the next hundred years was stupid! I wouldn't do it! I would live my life in the suns completely free. When I was gone they would write songs about me! I laughed to myself. Children would study my life in school. That would be rich!
***
I got up early the next morning and got dressed and away from the house as quick and as quietly as I could. I had on my shortest, tightest skirt, my smallest top and I was made up like a whore. I would go to the red light district and make some money for a motel room for the night. I was tempted to bring some spare clothing but decided it would weigh me down too much.
I would be a whore until I had figured out some other way to make money. There were no rules. I would steal, cheat, do anything to insure I had the best time that I could. I had the right!
I wanted to make contact with a gang somewhere. They would be my new family. We would all be alike. The unreal. Whenever you put a group of people together under adverse conditions they always developed a comradeship. It was the old "misery loves company" syndrome. I would be with people of my own kind.
There were lots of gangs in the red light district. You could tell a gang member. They dressed in tight fitting naugahyde outfits with chains and stuff. They were normally all in black except for some strip of cloth that would be the gang's color. They would be tough customers to deal with. I almost backed out of running away. I would have to calm my fears and do what I had to do to get in one of the gangs.
I would have to act tough. If they found out I was new on the streets they might decide to do anything to me. I needed a weapon. A small stun gun would be nice but too expensive. The thought of using a knife to defend myself was both scary and repugnant. Shockers were too costly. The only thing I could think of was some kind of spray. I stopped in a store and got the cheapest can of spray that they had.
I had carried my credit card with me. I wanted to start my life over again but I wasn't so stupid as to think I wouldn't need some money.
I caught a bus and rode until I got to the seedy side of downtown. I sat there staring out of the window watching as the buildings got older and dirtier. There was very little activity. I saw a few drunks collapsed on the sidewalk. I looked for some prostitutes but saw none. The surroundings kept getting worse and worse. Suddenly we were in an area with warehouses and stockyards. I had ridden right through the red light district and never even gotten off of the bus!
I pulled the cord to let the driver know that someone wanted off and made my way to the exit. My heart was in my throat. For a half a credit I would have cried a river and gone running back to my family's waiting arms but I didn't. I braced myself and got off of the bus as soon as it stopped.
I was outside a fence around some kind of trucking yard. The bus took off and it's exhaust blew sand in my face. I took in my surroundings. They weren't so good looking. The area was deserted except for dumb old me. I headed back towards the store fronts I had seen two or three blocks ago.
I needed to find a corner where I could hang out and look sexy to attract a customer. By the time I found as good a location as I could expect to find I was hungry. I looked around for someplace to get something to eat. I was doing nothing but spending money. I didn't have that much in my account. There was some there for my next car payment but I wouldn't touch any of that--unless I just had to.
I found a store open and went in. I got a cheap food pak and ate it. It was just one step up from the kind you could get for free at the welfare complex. I looked at it closely it had the words "NOT FOR SALE - EXISTANCE RATION". I considered showing that to the man who had sold it to me. I looked at him. He didn't appear too friendly. I decided it would be a bad idea to make enemies of anyone in this part of town.
I smiled at him and held up the opened pak. "Good!" I said.
He looked at me like I was strange for a moment then he lost intrest in me again and turned arround to put some suplies on a shelf.
At least I hadn't made him mad. I hoped it would be alright if I tried to get some customers of my own on his corner out front. The street was deserted.
"Where's everyone at?" I asked.
"Who are you looking for?" he responded prosaically.
"Customers!" I pronounced.
"Customers for what?"
"Me! I'm a call girl."
"Really? I would have never guessed." he responded flatly.
"Why? Don't I look like one?"
"You look like some smart ass school girl down here to see what she's been missing."
I looked at the man dumstruck. He had pegged me, except for the CB part. "How can you tell all of that?" I inquired.
"The way you're dressed. I know some school girl when I see one. Besides if you were some hooker you'd be sleeping this time of day. You don't have a clue!"
"I do so! I'll have you know I'm at the top of my class!"
"Hah! Down here that don't count for shit. You're just jailbait. I ought to call the cops on you myself."
"No! Don't do that!"
"Sure, I feel like it's my civic responsibility!"
I grabbed my food pak and ran out of there. I could hear the man laughing behind me. I ran down the street. I hoped he wouldn't call the police on me. I didn't want them taking me home. Some free spirit I was! I felt like some dweeb kid. I was seventeen for crying out loud! There were lots of young girls who were hookers. Some were two and three years younger than me! I needed someplace to wait until the hookers came out. Where could I go? I'd need to rest so I would be alert when nightfall came. I'd need a hotel room. Shucks, that would be more money going out! I'd have to watch out and not leave a trail for the police to follow. My credit card would give me away. I had to get to a bank and get some cash. I hadn't seen an ATM since I had gotten to this side of town. I'd have to walk until I found one. I was wearing my highest heels and they weren't much good for walking. I would have taken them off and walked flatfooted except That would ruin my stockings. I trudged on miserably.
The suns were high above me somewhere and I was hot before I found a teller machine. I debated about how much money to get out. I knew I had about 290 credits socked away in my account. 189 of then were for my next car payment. That left only 101 credits that were really mine. A hundred and one credits would not go very far. I could split the crdits and leave half for the folks but that would still only leave me with 145 credits. Not enough. I cashed in the whole amount except for ten cedits. I didn't want the bank getting suspicious.
It would be dangerious to carry that much money arround with me all of the time. I needed someplace to hide it. I couldn't hide it on myself because there wasn't that much to hid it under besides if I was sucessful as a prostitute I wouldn't be wearing anything for at least part of the night.
Where to hide my cash? I could see me climbing some tree. I had just started back towards the corner I had picked out when a police car pulled up along side me. "Act cool!" I warned myself.
"Sue, your parrents are worried about you. You'd better get into the car." a policewoman told me.
I looked at her dumstruck. How had they found me so quick? I had been leaving a trail with my credit card! I was surprised mom had noticed me misssing so fast. I should have waited and pretended to be going to school like always. How naive I had been. I could have run but that would be stupid. I went to the back of the car. The second officer was there waiting for me.
"Any weapons?" the other officer asked me.
"I have a can of spray." I admitted.
"Hand it over!"
I did.
"Anything else? You don't want to make me search you, do you?"
"No." I said embarrased.
"No what?"
I looked at him puzzled. I had nearly decided that he had wanted me to say, "no THANK YOU" and had my mouth set to ask if that was what he wanted when he spoke again.
"See this uniform? I'm proud of my uniform. I am an OFFICER of the law. When you speak to me you might want to keep on my good side. You can do that by referring to me as 'officer'. Am I coming through for you?"
He didn't have to get so..so...authoritative. I had meant no disrespect. I was about to tell him so when he pulled out his handcuffs and grabbed my wrist. I nearly passed out in fright and shame right there. "Yes officer..." I nearly shouted hoping that would satisfy his need to be respected.
"Too late now." he told me as he clamped the handcuffs arround my wrists. I was really scared. It looked like those things could just cut my hands off if they were tightened enough. I was helpless. Thankfully the officer left them loose. They were so loose I think I could have slipped them off of me. That was the last thing I wanted to do because I knew that if I did he would just grab me and put them on so tight that they'd hurt. I couldn't think of anything I wanted less than that. He opened the car's back door and I humbly got in. I sat in the back seat and stared in disbelief at the chains that marked me as a prisoner. I turned my hands in front of me. Where the steel of my bonds had been resting against my wrists there were already marks. I shuddered.
"Your mother is pretty worried about you..." the officer driving the car told me.
What do you say when someone tells you that? I hung my head. The ride back home was torture. I dreaded what the folks would say. They wouldn't understand.
***
At home I was marched to the front door by the two officers like some kind of a prize, a trophy. I had been gone how long? Three maybe four hours. What a world class buffoon I felt like.
Dad was there. I hated that he saw me dressed up like I was with my hands tied before me. I hadn't wanted to embarrass myself or my folks. I had done both. It took forever to get rid of the two cops. They kept saying all sorts of embarrassing things about how they could help me and get me into some kind of help program. It was terrible. Finally they freed my hands and left.
Dad, mom, and I went into the kitchen. I dreaded what would have to be said.
"What kind of a get-up is that?" dad wanted to know.
"You know, Edward. She's dressed like a call girl!" mom spat out.
"Is that right?" dad boomed.
I cringed.
"What's wrong with you?" dad demanded to know. "Have you lost your mind? ....What were you planning to do?..."
"It's obvious what she wanted to do, the question is; why!" mom shrilled.
"P..p..please...I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Let me go back...I can't live here with you anymore. It's not right. I will only hurt you and I don't want to do that. Let me go...please..."
"You don't want to hurt us!? How do you think I feel looking at my daughter dressed as some kind of a tramp? What have we ever done to you to make you want to act so foolish? I don't understand this at all!"
"I'm sorry, dad. I didn't want you to see me like this. I can't live here with you anymore. I love you both but I must go."
"Go where?" he asked his voice softening.
"Just go away. I'm not real and I don't want to live like I am. Soon all of my friends will find out and they'll hate me. It won't do any good to pretend. I found out about my real parents. I know they were given cloned baby making parts and that I'm a CB. There is nothing you or I can do to change that!"
"I don't know how you found all that out, but it makes no difference, Sue. You are still our daughter. You can still live here with us and go to university and get a good career. You'll have a wonderful life--if you don't screw it up by running off to be a whore or something just because you think you're not as good as everyone else."
"That's right. Listen to your father. This soul thing means nothing. It's just something that was made up by a bunch of children. Are you still listening to them? You should be listening to your father and me."
"But it's true, mom. I don't have a soul. When I die that's it. Kaput. Finito. Zilch! I can't live my life like you. You are saving part of yourselves for the hereafter. I can't do that. All that I get is now. I have to do all that I'm going to do now, in this life."
"Quite saying that, Sue. When you die we will all be together. Don't be stupid. You are a thinking human being. Why do you want to think that you will ever stop existing?"
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