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Abandonment


You said you never wanted me. My birth was a  mistake.
You tried to give me away, but no one would help.
.
At 10 you left me with strangers, then with HIM.
You never came to get me, like you said you would.
.
The police called and told you, "Come and get your  kids"
You took me home and blamed me when it happened again.
.
At twelve, you chose another time, to get rid of me
You said "Too many others. I need to care for them."
.
I went to live with strangers who blamed me for the abuse,
and constantly reminded me that mother didn't care.
.
At 16 when I came home you forced me to quit school
While you went out to work, I stayed home with your kids.
.
I worked real hard to get your love, but nothing that I did
was good enough and "it was all my fault."
.
At 18, you found a new way to push me away
You pushed me into marriage with a man I didn't know.
.
Always trying for your love, I could never measure up.
I sacrificed myself to the devil and the devil was Mom's love.


Copyright 1991; 2004: Lee Marsh

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