Lee Marsh Abuse Recovery Page

What will I see when I come face to face again with the man who is my father ?
So many years have passed since I've seen him
Gone at 12 -- an hour at 18 -- five minutes at 32 -- and now.
What memories will arise seeing him lying sick and dying in his hospital bed?

A bed -- is that what I will remember -- a place he made unsafe and dirty
His face of long ago screaming, contorted into a mask of rage
His hands - dirty with grease and oil from work -- Is that what I will see?
Will I remember anything good? I wonder because I have none of those now.

Will I see the handsome young man in the photograph beside my mother?
Or the image of a homeless man I tore out of the paper because he looked like you
What has your life been like since I was a little girl. Did you ever think of me.
Was there ever any pride in your first-born child -- or love?

If you see me, what will you see? A middle-aged stranger you know nothing of
Will you ask again, "Who are you?" when you gaze into my face?
Will you be angry that I have come to witness your dying breathes?
Will you remember the pain you caused and ask forgiveness?
Will you see me at all?