My Wedding Journal
18th February, 2000
Page 15
Picked up Nancy and George's wedding invitation from Lavinia's mailbox this afternoon, and Ray left his letter for her.
I got a call from her in the afternoon, which I assume was meant to be an apology for ignoring me and leaving me out of things, but that she had a lot on her plate with work having a forced transfer and not losing weight to fit into her dress and that she hoped we didn't have to resort to letters. But with Micheal swearing and cursing at the top of his voice at Raymond for things he has not done, and her taking offense at the letter Ray wrote (not me), it didn't feel like one. She said no she didn't have a problem with Raymond, just was hard getting used to new people. She ended with she hoped we could still be friends.
I was distraught, and Raymond had gone for a walk to leave me alone on the phone. Didn't know what to do. When he came back, we both didn't feel much like eating, so I poured it all out at him, drenching his shirt in the process.
We got to work on the computer, and had to delete the whole bridesmaid page as the system was being a pain. Wouldn't let us take off the pictures and names.. So if you're wondering where it went, that's why!
About an hour later Lavinia called up to make comments about how insulted she was about the letter. I didn't write it, and from what I saw in it, it was truthful. If she had been communicative in the first place it wouldn't have been needed. That was the 3rd draft...Ray didn't want to upset one of my close friends; just let her know things weren't as they should be.
She wished Raymond and me a happy life together. Then said he didn't know her, and had no right to judge her. The sad fact is all humans judge, from what information they perceive in the environment. It doesn't matter whether he knew her or not; he'd been around her and knew how I was feeling from her actions.
She then lay claim to Raymond being the sole reason for our friendship problems. I don't believe that to be the truth. If we had truly been such good friends, she would have mentioned that before. But she hasn't, although she always seemed to put him down when I discussed problems we were having.
And she said she couldn't continue the friendship.
After I hung up the phone, I looked at Raymond, and he just held me while I cried and told him what had happened.
She took an hour to come up with that excuse; so there must be a deeper issuer there. And I think Micheal may have helped develop the answer. I'm beginning to suspect she hasn't wanted to be my bridesmaid for a while now. And it took that long to tell me. I feel so hurt that she would use Raymond as an excuse. After all our circle of friends put up with her ex-fiance for 4 years when he was treating her terribly, but we let her know how we felt about this.
Ray rang Jo to let her know what had happened, but Lavinia must have phoned around, as Ray said she didn't sound her usual self and said she didn't want to get involved. I wonder how many friends I will have left?
19th February, 2000
Didn't sleep well last night, and neither did Ray. I rang up Charlene to have someone else to talk to last night, and she couldn't comprehend how it had happened. Neither can I. She tried cheering me up by singing 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'. :-)
At 8am Lavinia beeped my mobile saying we couldn't let such a long friendship just go like that and that we should meet, just the two of us, somewhere neutral and talk. I couldn't answer than, so I went and showered and then replied yes. I was willing to let her talk. I had nothing to say at that point.
I let her choose the place and time. She chose Richmond McDonald's at midday. Not the place I would have picked for an emotional meeting, but I agreed to it. I also asked if she could bring my wedding CDs I had loaned her a few months back, just in case things didn't work out (had paid too much money to lose them). Ray and I tried to keep ourselves busy all morning; ended up dying my hair.
We left with plenty of time to spare, and got a message from her just as we left the driveway that she would be 10 minutes late. Ray dropped me off at Macca's and went to watch the planes landing at the RAAF base. I went and bought a chocolate sundae to while away the time, then went and sat outside in the sun, as much to dry my hair, as to be more easily seen. The seating inside is very crowded. It was 11.55am. I forced myself through that sickly sundae for 20 mintues and she hadn't turned up yet. I'd startle each time someone came near my seat, thinking it must be Lavinia. But no, it never was. I started cleaning out my purse I was so nervous and bored.
At 12.40pm I was thinking I'd give her till 1pm to show, and was re-checking her message to make sure she has said she'd only be 10 minutes late. I got another message from her saying she was sick of waiting, had work to do that afternoon.
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