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Paula's Online Journal
16 Sep 1998 - Joining, Becoming Involved
Just talked with a friend who has been out of town for the summer. We may get together soon, tomorrow. And my place is a mess - she does not know about Paula, yet. And at this point, it would be very hard to "hide" everything. Could be another one of those opportunities. Actually, she has seen Paula - she just didn't really know it yet. She was one of the people I went Halloween dancing at Embers with. I wonder what she might think, how she might react. I guess there is only one way to find out 
Well, time to get ready for the NWGA meeting...
For those that want to know, I decide to wear my purple, above the knee jumper over a short sleeve white t-shirt, nude hose and my square toe pumps. Nothing flashy, nice and simple. Makeup and beard cover, a little mascara, translucent lipstick. Whoa, those tummy butterflies are starting to rise, the thought that I have to walk around the building to get to my car. Deep breaths again, relax, okay, we are calming down now. Sure wish I did not get these nerve things.
Time to go, grab camera, purse and off we go. Feeling okay, pretty uneventful trip to the car - but, I figured that. This is sort of weird, I am driving to a place I have been around many, many times. The restaurant is right next to one of my favorite bakeries and coffee shop (hot chocolate for me). I have fantasized so many times about being here like this, as Paula. Now it's for real.
Pretty busy at this time of day, 7:30pm, lot's of cars, the parking lot is nearly full. I find a spot. A few people out that I can see, not bad. I head into the restaurant and walk up to the reception desk. She asks, 'Can I help you?' I tell her I am looking for the NWGA meeting, she says, "It's right up there," pointing up the stairs behind me. I thank her and head up. I imagine that I "passed" perfectly and that I shocked her by asking where the meeting was (who knows, just maybe).
I see some familiar faces and some new faces. I see Elaine and Amy and we greet each other with hugs. I spend some time talking to Amy. Elaine tells me she heard a rumor that I was interested in the Newsletter Editor position. By evenings end, I have pretty much made up my mind and have also officially become a member of NWGA. I do more wandering around this time, visiting with some friends. There's Corrin, Teri, Tiffany, Kim, Ariel, Tommie and (I'm sorry, my mind just went blank). I find out there may be a couple of other ladies interested in the editor position, but I have been getting very good support from many. Okay, I can do this, plus it will be fun and I will be able to use my creative energies all at the same time I offer a little back to the club for some wonderful experiences I have been given.
Sitting here (in the restaurant), I feel relaxed and at ease. I can be myself, just as I am. I do not have to put on a mask, no pun intended. I am here with some very nice, thoughtful, fun, energetic, humorous and couragous people. We are from all walks of life, from different backgrounds. We are here together. I think about the "world out there" and if this type of gathering also exits (no spectator sports do not count). I have noticed that pieces of my "ideal" world I have actually seen and experienced within the transgendered community. How different our world would really be if we all accepted everyone else for who they are, rather than who we want them to be?
I am in great company.
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