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Paula's Online Journal
26 Sep 1998 - Special Friends, Growing Spirit
Teri has been trying to arrange a birthday dinner for Patti for a long time, since about August. There has always been someone's schedule that has made this difficult. Looking forward to this dinner, I regularly would send a "what about Patti's dinner" email to Teri.
The wait was well worth it, to finally spend time with Patti not under the the electrology needle. She is a very special friend, without whose support, kindness, encouragement and great sense of humor I would not be where I am today. We had a great dinner, wonderful service and a lot of fun. The three of us deciding we should do this at least once a month. We had to wait for a table, the place is small and was very crowded. We put in our name and wondered around the area. This is a growing area of shops, restaurants and such. We wondered into a satellite store of the famous Powell's Book Store. We visited, looked around and visited some more. We looked in windows and talked about shopping and makeup. All too soon, the evening ended, but it was not early either. We went back to Patti's and then said our good nights. I left in very good spirits and very, very happy.
Thinking about the dinner and the time we were out, I was overcome by the realization that I had NOT felt the fear and anxiety I would have felt just a few weeks ago. I still had nervousness as I started to go out my door, and some when we first walked into the restaurant. The restaurant was small and the door was such that you were the center of attention coming in. Throughout the evening, while walking around and in the restaurant, I felt much more relaxed and at ease than I had in the past. I felt much more comfortable with myself and expressing as me. I think it had a lot to do with Teri and a whole lot to do with Patti being there. With Patti you cannot help but feel good about yourself, she just won't let you feel otherwise.
It is so hard to describe the feeling. A sense of getting to just be with your friends, dressed how you feel, enjoying a nice dinner, with very good service AND not worry about what other people are thinking. The only low point was when our server was talking to us about something and she referred to me as he, but quickly and gracefully repeated as she. So, it was not really a low point, but I did catch it. I had this thought of "Wow! So this is what life can be when not afraid, when not ashamed."
Walking to our cars, Teri said this was a first for her. The first time she has gone to a restaurant that had not been pre-screened in terms of friendliness toward TG's. A first for both of us. We both agreed, Patti being with us made a very big difference.
Thank you Patti - you truly are a dear friend.
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