Paula's Online Journal
23 Nov 1998 - A Bigger Picture
I often sit and wonder about way too many things. I think often about my journey, the impact it has far beyond the world that I experience. I think about the idea that the more of me that my friends see, the more they see all transgendered, maybe the more they see of all oppressed minorities.
I just read about the suicide of an Asian teenager in Phoenix, Arizona. There is a strong link to the racial harassment he had been receiving. All too often we live in our worlds, in our accepting communities and forget about those areas and people struggling so hard for the basic pleasures of dignity and self respect. I have read and heard people saying that they are glad they live where they live, I, too, have thought, felt and said that. But what of those not so lucky, of those that do live in those less-friendly areas? Do they move so that they can live more freely? If they move, is that not also saying those that chase are right, that they do "own" their turf and that they control who is allowed to stay?
I wonder about my daughter and my son, who both have Asian ancestry. What limits will be put on them? Who will seek to degrade or dehumanize them because they happened to be born with an Asian parent? What other traits or personality will they have that others might judge as deviant or at least "not socially acceptable?"
I recently watched a show that covered the issue of a high school senior charged with statutory rape of several high school freshman/sophomore girls. In the end, he plead guilty and was sentenced to some jail time. There was a heavy price paid by the girls and their families, many forced to change schools, some to change cities. This was from the harassment by other parents defending their children, hiding behind "all the kids are having sex, it was consensual." The summary was that he and his friends took advantage of the girls, that it was a game to them to see how many.
Toward the end of the story, they covered the boy's struggle to get into college, being turned down because of his record. They covered the issue of his requirement to register as a sex-offender, almost as if to get us to feel sorry for him. The piece that seemed to be missing is his lack of understanding that he treated other human beings as less than himself, as mere trophies. The coverage also skirted the issue of those doing the harassing, those hiding behind the anonymity of their telephones almost in support of the notion that this was an innocent naive boy.
He served his jail time, but did he really learn anything? He publicly apologized to the girls, stating it was wrong. Maybe he should spend time in community service, talking to other high school students about the devastation of treating the girls as mere objects. Maybe he needs to spend time fully understanding what his actions really say about his attitude toward women. What is really sad is the communities attitude, the attitude that so strongly attacked the girls.
So, what about my daughter and son? I will be there for them. I wholly support who they are and who they choose to be. My life has been a struggle in many areas to fight the battle of who I am, to be acknowledged as okay. I have not always faired well, but seem to have developed a strong survivor skill. I tell my children often that they are okay and special. I support what they say and what they believe.
Equality does begin at home.
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