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Paula's Online Journal
25 Nov 1998 - A Glimmer of Light
It was one of those days, following two days in a row of emotional therapy, the struggles of parenting, resolving intense marriage issues and an immense lack of sleep. I was feeling in the need of just being held, of finding that safe place to feel sad and angry. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and alone. I checked my email and received the latest issue from GAIN.
There it was. A sparkle, a glint of light. The story was about a recent policy decision at the Department of Justice (DoJ), they would use existing civil laws to pursue discrimination. One of those laws is discrimination based on sex. Imagine that, this seemingly simple idea? The idea is that discrimination may not always be based on sexual orientation, but fall under the label of gender non-conformity. That the discrimination occurs because someone or organization judges a person's appearance or actions as not being stereo-typical.
My heart lifted a little, as they say, it all depends on how the court rulings end up and such. But after all the energy put into contacting my representatives to support the Hate Crimes Protection Act and learning of its demise long before we had actually begun the last minute effort, this truly was spirit lifting. It meant to me that there are people listening. There are people saying that we can move forward, we can do what we can to protect the gay and transgendered, and essentially, all groups.
I found the main article on the Washington Blade's web site. I received supportive news from Lori at It's Time, ORegon! and received permission to repost the article from the Washington Blade. I then sat down to write about my own thoughts (yep, this is it). As I read over the article and re-read the article, I began to feel what it meant. I felt acknowledgment. I felt recognition as a human being. Yes, I know, our greatest asset is our own self-worth. That if I feel okay and really believe it, then there is little that another can do to take that away. But, you know, it gets very tiring holding that big shield up, day in and day out. It gets old hearing nothing but news about the christian coalition and Lott. It gets tiring hearing about more and more anti-gay/trans bashings, beatings and murders.
With all the anti-gay (and transgender) rhetoric coming so strongly from the political arena it was feeling very despairing. What a wonderful feeling to see such a high-level group take action that clearly states we are to be protected. That they will be there to take action and hold businesses and government agencies accountable.
While thinking about this story, I received Lori's thoughts. I welled up with emotion and had to send her a thank you right away. I must agree with many of her thoughts and feelings (even though my journey is relatively new). It has been hard to feel "left out" of many of the battles for protection and still support them. It has been hard to see the transgender community not included in initiatives and bills due to being even more volatile. It has been hard to constantly hear that trans issues are not the same as gay/lesbian issues, when in my heart I always felt that the issue was not about preference but really about basic human rights and freedoms, so the issue is the same.
Perhaps we will be seen with more respect and value. That our battles and issues are truly at the heart of the gay/lesbian fight for protection and freedom, that is, being non-stereotypical female/male. I hope that you (transgendered) will also feel a lifting within your hearts and spirits. Who you are is now very important to a lot people seeking the basic freedom of living, livelihood, and protection. If you (we, I) are protected, we will have included gay, lesbian, bi, trans and anyone not conforming to the narrow, stereotypical roles of gender.
Truly a moment in our history and a time for thankfulness.
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